How does one moderate one's farts, chaps?
Discussion
Becoming a bit of a problem of late.
Eating less seems to have an inverse effect on the frequency and volume of gaseous emissions. Small animals view me with disdain, while small children flee to their mothers. Gone are the days they conversed freely in the supermarket, along the lines of my mum says you ate all the f
king pies. Little sweeties. Alas, no longer, which is good, but I fear I might be stunting their mental development with these phenomenal, monstrous botty barks.
My daughter invited me round for a meal the other evening, after which I had to sneak outside and startle the badgers, as other guests were present. Even the paramedic next door was heard through closed windows shouting wtf was THAT?. She should be immune to this kind of thing, for pity’s sake.
This is getting serious. What to do, chaps…?
How does one remedy the sudden, unexpected onset of prolific trouser warbling? Can it be quelled from within by some trick potion, or what?
Please help. Clenched in anticipation.
PS...any references to the onset of senility and the letter h will be viewed with contempt and ignored. Thank you.
Eating less seems to have an inverse effect on the frequency and volume of gaseous emissions. Small animals view me with disdain, while small children flee to their mothers. Gone are the days they conversed freely in the supermarket, along the lines of my mum says you ate all the f
king pies. Little sweeties. Alas, no longer, which is good, but I fear I might be stunting their mental development with these phenomenal, monstrous botty barks.My daughter invited me round for a meal the other evening, after which I had to sneak outside and startle the badgers, as other guests were present. Even the paramedic next door was heard through closed windows shouting wtf was THAT?. She should be immune to this kind of thing, for pity’s sake.
This is getting serious. What to do, chaps…?
How does one remedy the sudden, unexpected onset of prolific trouser warbling? Can it be quelled from within by some trick potion, or what?
Please help. Clenched in anticipation.
PS...any references to the onset of senility and the letter h will be viewed with contempt and ignored. Thank you.
...oh, stubbystu said:
Thank you. Glad someone is taking this seriously. However, I fear the NHS has not experienced the magnitude of my malady...
Changedmyname said:
retreat said:
Pack in the beer!
Found I was allergic to the stuff and my bot has smelt of roses ever since!
This is sound advice.Found I was allergic to the stuff and my bot has smelt of roses ever since!
Here we go again...
Now I'm knocking moths down in flight...
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