Things you should never say in a car ?

[JDMDrifter]

I can never get this thing to oversteeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeerrrrrr

• followed by huge spin/crash

[Morningside]

What they all say about TVRs is rubbish.

[Kentish]

Me on a driving lesson.

If you don't bring it up slowly you'll jerk off.

I was talking about the clutch of course

[no effort]

Officer, there is no point talking to him, he never wants to listen when he has had a skin full!.

[Delbox]

'A couple of glasses of wine with dinner, then 4 pints and 2 shorts in that pub over there, officer!'

[meggysaurus]

I wonder if my reliant robin can win a game of chicken with this lorry

[HurricaneABC]

I really should check the oil sometime soon

[Snappy89]

"Evening officer"

But in all seriousness, the only one that grates on me is when people who don't have even have a license criticise my driving or my car.

[007 VXR]

Friend pulled by police..

Officer opens car door, mate falls out on the road drunk.
Officer said, have you been drinking? mate replys, "To fking right i cant even stand up"
Officer then noticed it was a LHD

[big_boz]

Not in a car, but i have flown a fair bit with my BA cabin crew friend the last few months and she loves to nonchalantly say things like "i've never heard that noise before" or "christ it should be doing that", when a plane makes any kind of strange noise. I'm not bothered, but some uninitiated mates who have a fear of flying can get proper st up by it. makes me chuckle

[s p a c e m a n]

Whats that mumbling sound coming from the boot?

[Camoradi]

Officer: Have you been drinking this evening sir?
Driver: Yes I've had 8 or 9 pints of strong lager
Officer: I'm going to have to ask you to blow into this.
Driver: Why? Don't you believe me?

[HaloGen8]

Yeah these new Nankangs are awesome.....

[m444ttb]

According to my girlfriend at the time the thing I shouldn't have said is 'what's that banging noise?' Apparently it was nothing. In reality it was a rear damper falling off!

[indi pearl]

It is a cold, wet night in the West Midlands 1969 and I am out in my 1960 Ford Anglia 105E on the way to a local country pub with my first chance at the local "Sure Thing".
Now I have only just passed my driving test but like all young lads to this day I was convinced I was a driving god. Now the girl in question was just about to start driving lessons so I was of course only to happy to impart my considerable knowledge to furthur impress her.
Cue tight dark wet leaf strewn corner just as I said;
"Of course taking bends smoothly just comes with practice".
Anglia leaves the road and front wheels end up in a water filled ditch.
Give the lass her due, she helped me get the car back on the road but she never went out with me again and no, I did not!!

[rb5er]

I reckon I can jump it!

or

Lets try and get some air!

[buzzer]

The gearbox is so good in these, you can even select first gear at 80 mph, so long as you don't let the clutch out....

[brandersnatch]

Hold on tight, I want to try something.

[Vince70]

That knocking noise is only sticky hydraulic tappets it will soon go away once I give it a bit of a blast down the dual carriageway.

[Willeh85]

I'm breaking up with you!