What is the least "PH" car?

[Merkypast]

Turbodiesel1976 said:

This is a great call - you usually see them covered in dents and dirt and driven by fat women with 6 kids. Soul destroying things

Yep. Agreed. I think we have a winner.

[andburg]

Not reading everything in here as id likely fall asleep

surely it has to be the Nissan Serena 2.3d gx

dreary styling
mid 90's Japanese plastic interior
7 seats

Even the book figures are horrendous!
2.3 non turbo diesel
73bhp
26.9 seconds to 60
84mph top speed
sub 30mpg

[FIREBIRDC9]

300bhp/ton said:

kambites said:

thegreenhell said:

My nomination, a car with no redeeming features, not even boring competency:

It does have one redeeming feature - it doesn't look exactly the same as every other car in its class.

And was offered with the 2.4 Turbo engine that made it faster than a Focus ST with pretty on par handling.

It also has clever seating which folds flat to allow you to fit long items in the car.





And a nicely styled interior:

I have one as my daily car.

Its not particularly amazing to drive , I just liked the way it looked.

Its refreshing in a world of dreary grey BMWs that all look the same.

Especially when my PT is in Electric Blue!

[300bhp/ton]

FIREBIRDC9 said:

I have one as my daily car.

Its not particularly amazing to drive , I just liked the way it looked.

Its refreshing in a world of dreary grey BMWs that all look the same.

Especially when my PT is in Electric Blue!

It's a shame we never got the exciting engine options in the UK though.



215 hp (160 kW) @ 5000 rpm and 245 lb·ft (332 N·m) @ 3600 rpm (2003–2005)

230 hp (170 kW) @ 5100 rpm and 245 lb·ft (332 N·m) @ 2400 rpm (2006+)

wiki said:

The PT Cruiser GT (also known as the GT Cruiser) is a high output turbocharged variant of the PT Cruiser introduced as a 2003 model. Much like the Dodge Neon SRT-4, the PT Cruiser GT uses the same 2.4L turbocharged I4 engine. The engine is upgraded over the standard PT with improved cooling, oiling, an aluminum cylinder block with steel sleeves, and forged internals. The PT Cruiser GT is much more powerful than the standard model and has the potential to make significantly more power with available and relatively simple performance upgrades. Upgrades such as MOPAR Stage 1 and supporting turbo components are common. Most performance parts from the Dodge NEON SRT-4 are compatible with the PT Cruiser GT.

[FIREBIRDC9]

My Choice will be *Insert generic German Diesel Saloon car here*

BMW 3 series , 5 Series , Audi A4 etc.


Usually in White , Grey or Black usually found on motorways driving too close to the car in front

Yes they have Fantastic Interiors and excellent MPG.

But would it hurt BMW at all to actually make them look remotely interesting?

Yawn!

• Note that this does not apply to the M3 and M5 and AMG models

[seatz37]

My Grandad had a penchant for nondescript cars. Three sunnies, countless early Hyundais, a Corolla, a Rover 200 several Protons... But worst of all was thr Mitsubishi Carisma...

His 1.8GDI was utterly forgettable to look at, slow and bouncy to drive, uncomfortable to sit in due to horrible hard, ugly seats, not that cheap to run due to the rubbish wannabe diesel petrol engine and slushy 4 speed automatic, and despite looking relatively big - it wasn't.

There were no redeeming qualities.

[anonymous-user]

300bhp/ton said:

abitlikefiennes said:

Has anyone suggested a Chrysler Neon?

Spoken like someone who hasn't a friggin clue.

web said:

The ACR Neon, available with either the SOHC or DOHC engine, featured four-wheel disc brakes, Arvin non-adjustable struts for 1995–1996 models and Koni adjustable dampers for 1997–1999 models, thicker anti-sway bars, stiffer suspension bushings, fast-ratio steering, heavy-duty wheel hubs, and a five-speed manual transmission with a shorter .81 fifth gear and final drive ratio of 3.94 for quicker acceleration. 1995 through 1997 models featured adjustable camber. The computer-controlled speed limiter was removed from 1995 ACR models (limited to 130 mph (210 km/h) on later models), and ABS was also, to save weight. The ACR offers no badging to distinguish it from other Neon models; the only visible differences are a bumper with fog light holes, but no fog lights and a lack of side moldings. For 1995, the ACR was only offered to SCCA members, but in subsequent years it was available to the general public. The name "ACR" was initially the internal ordering code for the "Competition Package", as it was termed in dealer materials; however, as knowledge of the model spread, the ACR name stuck. The backronym "American Club Racer" was coined due to its popularity with club and grassroots racers.

Sold as a race car to the general public. Oh that's so un PH

No, spoken as someone who thinks they are badly built, characterless cars chosen by people oblivious to better alternatives.

They might have been sold as race cars in America (big deal) but I thought this thread was focussing on cars available in the UK?

[BeirutTaxi]

rohrl said:

A 2WD diesel automatic Nissan Qashqai. On finance.

I share a manual one of these with my other half (first house has left my cash reserves drained for running a 'special/fun' car of my own at the moment)

It's not 'fun' however I don't dislike it. Pedal weighting is okay, nice gearshift. Doesn't feel too bad in the twisties either. Drove it 2000 miles across France and Spain and it was quite comfortable whilst swallowing our mountain bikes etc.

For an every day sensible choice you could do far worse.

[RobM77]

FIREBIRDC9 said:

My Choice will be *Insert generic German Diesel Saloon car here*

BMW 3 series , 5 Series , Audi A4 etc.


Usually in White , Grey or Black usually found on motorways driving too close to the car in front

Yes they have Fantastic Interiors and excellent MPG.

But would it hurt BMW at all to actually make them look remotely interesting?

Yawn!

• Note that this does not apply to the M3 and M5 and AMG models

I replied to a similar post a few pages ago. Not everyone's into a car that looks flash, in fact for me that's a bad thing in a car, I do love cars and am a regular PHer, but I'd rather be discreet with a car I'm actually going to drive every day. What's more, two of the cars you mention above handle brilliantly for saloon cars and are way ahead of most cars on the road for smiles per mile. I'd say something like the 330ci, 135i or 540i are the very essence of PH, not the least PH cars.

[Hugo a Gogo]

300bhp/ton said:

Hugo a Gogo said:

3 proper seats in the back, for kid's seats

high seating position for oldies

and cheap

Which is very mumsnet, not really PH though. Not unless PH now means ParentHood or something.

true, I forgot what the thread was about, that was just 'reasons why someone might buy a picasso' cos he said there was no good reason to buy it

[Malachimon]

This is not cool!

I don't care what it is, Saxo, Corsa, Punto, Civic, ZR, doesn't matter. It's not cool, it's not fast, it's not good looking, you look like a complete cabbage driving it.

[Foodhoover]

not had the opportunity to drive a serena yet, with my history it is only a matter of time

[Patch888]

Malachimon said:

This is not cool!

I don't care what it is, Saxo, Corsa, Punto, Civic, ZR, doesn't matter. It's not cool, it's not fast, it's not good looking, you look like a complete cabbage driving it.

In my opinion you are wrong. You have found a modified car and posted a picture of it. The vtr/s is a fantastic little car to drive. It's light, entertaining and handles well. You are also wrong on the civic. The least PH car you could think of??

Edited by Patch888 on Tuesday 18th August 16:54

[ReaperCushions]

Just had one of these as a hire car.... Zero redeeming features.

I'm sure a spec'd one will have various toys and such, but my god it was boring to drive, soul-less and felt the most 'white goods' car I'd ever driven.

[anonymous-user]

This is easy. After a journey to IRL I picked out the absolute crap.

• Most 90's Renaults. Especially the MPV's.
• Rover 200's, miserable things.
• Range Rovers, specifically sports, driven by muppets
• any universal middle of the road car. Standard, economical, good choice, reliable.

BTW, the cruiser is a total turd of a car. Same as the Neon.

[RobM77]

Malachimon said:

This is not cool!

I don't care what it is, Saxo, Corsa, Punto, Civic, ZR, doesn't matter. It's not cool, it's not fast, it's not good looking, you look like a complete cabbage driving it.

It's not for me (I'll have a standard VTS please - great cars!), but people who mod cars have a true passion for their cars, so in my book that's very PH and certainly not the "least PH".

[FiF]

Surely the most un-PH vehicle? A bus for a start, plus making a well meaning joke, but still treating as a joke that the heap is a smoky old barrow pumping out all sorts of garbage right in front of your face.

[SidewaysSi]

Plenty of cars that aren't enthusiast cars. Something that has no redeeming features at all will be at rock bottom on any such scale.

Then it will be cars whose key attributes have nothing to do with the way they drive are only slightly higher IMO e.g.Audis.

[Baryonyx]

jwilliamsm3 said:

I don think it's been mentioned yet but the Agila has, the Vauxhall Meriva.

On the subject of the current Agila/Splash, they are not PH at all.

However, I used to hate my wife's Agila 1.2. Now, I don't mind it so much. I could reel off the things I hate about it - the tall shell means it can be blown around by very strong winds, and it's a bit unstable under heavy braking from high speeds (braking for a fox on an uphill D/C, good tarmac, dry conditions made the back wiggle a bit, which was somewhat unpleasant). The throttle mapping is just terrible, mainly due to emissions reasons I suspect. It has rev hang for days, and a very short travel in the throttle. It's tough to drive smoothly when you're going slowly if you don't work with these factors. The gearshift is a little clunky when cold, but at least it's accurate. The ride is pretty soft but the shell rolls badly under anything like heavy cornering.


Now, why I realised it's not as bad as I had considered when looking at it objectively. We've had it for years. The running costs have been minimal. Aside from a broken suspension coil and a snapped exhaust (caused by me flying over an expansion joint...), nothing has gone wrong. It regularly returns a great fuel economy. It costs nothing to insure. As a little family car, it's great. Smart packaging gives a useful little two storey boot and plenty of room inside. It's very slow, but the engine isn't rough or coarse and it's pleasant enough on the motorway. The cabin is nicely finished and well laid out. I suppose the fact it's really a Hungarian Suzuki and not a Vauxhall has some effect on things.


No, the least PH car I could think of would be an Astra 1.3 CDTi. I couldn't say a good thing about these cars. Absolutely dreadful in every respect. We used to use them as work cars, and they were slow, crap to drive and always breaking. They've since been replaced with 1.7CDTi estates in the current Astra shape, which is a million times better.

[ORD]

Slightly off topic, but I wonder whether there is now a whole generation of drivers that has never encountered a proper throttle response or brake feel or steering feel so don't notice when it's missing.

The Fiestas and so on that I drove as a lad were like an Elise compared to the slushy, turbo eco boxes that young 'uns learn to drive. Might explain why they then aspire to an Audi rather than finding it actively unpleasant.