Worst motoring magazine articles

[RacingBlue]

Escort3500 said:

Pointless articles on overpriced watches in 'upmarket' car mags

Agreed - I've never understood the car magazines obsession with ludicrously expensive watches.

As for pointless articles, Auto Express seem to be the worst for terrible photoshops. The 'New Puma' from a few years ago springs to mind:



http://www.autoexpress.co.uk/car-news/32951/ford-s...

[Fantuzzi]

ceebmoj said:

Fantuzzi said:

But on the subject of bad 'future' cars must go to EVOs 2015 Gransport, their mock up of a midengined, lightweight Maserati was truly awful. Could you imagine the people that were responsible for the Granturismo churning out this crap!

Sorry for the selective quote. MR2 with cut and paste Maserati stilling features?

Yeah it does look like that! Although I actually think my mk3 looks better than that with the hard top.

I think the artist got an email '4c maserati' and was having a lazy day.

Other 'imaginings' were a little better, but come on, Maserati have a rep for making very very good looking cars, and that is just terrible.

Kill it with a trident...

[silverfoxcc]

The worst motoring magazine article has not yet been written
however i can give you a good indication

It will be written by Pippa Middleton

Having seen some of her 'expert' advice in the cooking area, its just a matter of time before some sycophantic, arselicking neophyte will suggest it to her.

Then watch out for some gems

[slipstream 1985]

Mastodon2 said:

I remember one in EVO a few years back that was particularly bad, one of the journos was trying to get from John O'groats to Lands End in under 24 hours, in an R35 GT-R and there was snow in some places! It read like "I'm amazing, no one else could even dare to attempt such a feat! This car is like wrestling a greased bulldog, but I'm an amazing driver with years of writing for car mags so I can handle it!".

ha i read that article too. pathetic really

[Steve7777]

Escort3500 said:

Pointless articles on overpriced watches in 'upmarket' car mags

Those articles are so obviously just there so the writers can get free watches.

[vikingaero]

Most of the articles for Jaguar cars and concepts were particularly bad in the 90's and 00's. Jag would launch a concept to much fanfare and Brit press adulation. And then can the bloody things. It's a wonder the XJR15 and XJ220 ever made production and even the XJ220 was bastardised.

And the worst motoring articles are always journalists harping on about depreciation. Always based on list prices rather than real world transaction prices. For instance the MINI is widely praised for its solid residuals. But factor in the few grand on top for options and the residuals aren't much cop.

[V8forweekends]

The Crack Fox said:

I haven't bought a car mag in ages. Not even ones with my work in them. I'm bored stless of the same old formats, same old group tests, watches and advertorials. I think the relentless rise of blogs, videos and digital publishing means there's so much choice now you don't have to pay a fiver to read about Evo fapping over some Ferrari any more. There's a world of great (free) content online!

I keep buying mags and keep being disappointed - I spend (far too much) time online, but don't ofetn find content I like there either, any top tips for -

An online version of Jalopy (or Old and Slow Car I think it was called)?

and/or

People with cheapo Yanks who don't drive round with stetsons and confederate flags or act like fifties throwbacks?

[V8forweekends]

vikingaero said:

And the worst motoring articles are always journalists harping on about depreciation. Always based on list prices rather than real world transaction prices. For instance the MINI is widely praised for its solid residuals. But factor in the few grand on top for options and the residuals aren't much cop.

^^^ This - applies to all motoring mags and most pub experts.

[dcb]

vikingaero said:

Most of the articles for Jaguar cars and concepts were particularly bad in the 90's and 00's.

Personally, I like to find out how far into the article the E type gets mentioned.

However good it was, it's a car from over fifty years ago that hasn't
been on sale since 1975.

Can, Kraftwerk and Tangerine Dream all did cracking albums back
in the 1960s. They don't get mentioned now.

[daveofedinburgh]

Been reading EVO for afew years now and find they give the best/ least offensive features on performance cars.

They have plenty of 'misses', particularly the 'EVO Car of the Year' feature which does tend to be far too interested in the various contributors and their banter, and generally concludes that 911s are just the best.

They definitely love Porsche, and their repeated denials arent fooling anyone anymore.

They very rarely talk in a disparaging way about any car, which does irk me somewhat. Why have a 5 star rating system if a car never scores less than 3 stars?

And the watches... utterly pointless for 99.9% of readers. Ill bet they have market research which suggests the watch features are worthwhile though. There will be a tiny percentage of readers who enjoy this because they want to know which watches that they should burn their endless cash reserves on, motorsport tie-in models etc.

I think they do react to reader feedback though. The back 'readers cars' page (which was just all over the place) has given way to a feature about famous styling cues (Miura louvered engine cover for example) which talks about how they came about, the engineering involved etc.

As ghey as some of the features have been (the previously mentioned GTR Land's End to John O Groats piece stands out), I still find them to be generally more readable than some Top Gear bumph about a diesel Merc doing X mpg across America.

[tjk123]

Grew up on a diet of Performance Car and Evo. Car mags are definitely not a patch on what they used to be, but I think that's down to the huge choice of other free content and car mags are often behind when they come to publish. Add that to some of the chummy, self congratulatory prose they peddle and it was quite an easy decision to cancel my evo subscription recently. Only thing I miss is long term test cars and the special subscriber covers...

[Justin Case]

Every single article in What Car. It must be the only motoring magazine ever published aimed at people who have absolutely no interest in cars.

[s m]

Justin Case said:

Every single article in What Car. It must be the only motoring magazine ever published aimed at people who have absolutely no interest in cars.

If you look at the ones from the 80s/90s the group tests were pretty good

[scherzkeks]

Baryonyx said:

EVO are particularly bad reads. They have mastered a pallid, turgid formula for writing their articles which they rarely seem to deviate from. The usual recipe is for some mention of the car, a heap of shameless self-aggrandisement and some stock superlatives. The superlative generator is cranked up depending on how much the man from Porsche is paying.

I'm trying to remember the last time they were particularly disparaging about a car, I think it was the 9-3 Aero HOT. I suspect GM weren't interested in paying for accolades, and because the Saab wasn't a £100,000 Porsche it was ripe for a slagging (for balance, and all).

I would agree. Even their tagline annoys the piss out of me, as it's so poorly written: "The fastest car reviews & news." The reviews and news are fast? What?

[gleeman]

V8forweekends said:

vikingaero said:

And the worst motoring articles are always journalists harping on about depreciation. Always based on list prices rather than real world transaction prices. For instance the MINI is widely praised for its solid residuals. But factor in the few grand on top for options and the residuals aren't much cop.

^^^ This - applies to all motoring mags and most pub experts.

Completely agree. The myth that Porsches, BMWs, Mercedes and Audis hold their value is largely due to the way they price their cars, with relatively low list prices and very expensive options.

What about "perceived quality" that people seem to equate to actual reliability? That's a gripe of mine. Whether a door clunks in a satisfying way or not makes no difference to the reliability of a car.

[ZesPak]

V8forweekends said:

vikingaero said:

And the worst motoring articles are always journalists harping on about depreciation. Always based on list prices rather than real world transaction prices. For instance the MINI is widely praised for its solid residuals. But factor in the few grand on top for options and the residuals aren't much cop.

^^^ This - applies to all motoring mags and most pub experts.

Yes, we were comparing one colleague's 307 vs another one's Golf in terms of residuals the other day. Unless you got the Golf without the optional carpets, you're going to take the same hit or worse .

[Alfa numeric]

I must admit I enjoy most of the travelogue type of articles, but then I grew up reading Phil Llewelyn’s excellent ones in Car in the 80’s & 90’s. Last year I picked up a copy of Car and read an article about driving the new Range Rover in Morocco- it was dreadful, nothing like the brilliant “Ferrari to the Sahara” article written by Richard Bremner in 1995 (an article they’d compared it to in a side bar) and after five or six pages it had left me with no impression of either the car or the country- despite the fact that I was reading the article in a hotel room in Fez.

A special mention has to go to the reborn version of Performance Car- I bought a copy about five years ago and only one article in the entire magazine was even remotely readable. I wasn’t that surprised when it folded shortly after.

[Barchettaman]

silverfoxcc said:

The worst motoring magazine article has not yet been written
however i can give you a good indication

It will be written by Pippa Middleton

Having seen some of her 'expert' advice in the cooking area, its just a matter of time before some sycophantic, arselicking neophyte will suggest it to her.

Then watch out for some gems

That´s quality right there.

[ZesPak]

Justin Case said:

Every single article in What Car. It must be the only motoring magazine ever published aimed at people who have absolutely no interest in cars.

That in itself won't make it bad, if it's factional.
For example, they can state the number of cup holders, storage space, how "childproof" a car is (all of which the average PH-er couldn't care less about).
But still not be "dreadful" in terms of articles.

I've got a cookbook that's squarely aimed at people who have no interest in the art of cooking, but if it helps me prepare a decent meal that doesn't start with "set the microwave to defrost for 3 minutes", it's not a bad book .

[Pappagallo]

Justin Case said:

Every single article in What Car. It must be the only motoring magazine ever published aimed at people who have absolutely no interest in cars.

Yep, my father in law for example. Never interested in a BMW (despite me always having them) until 'Which? Car' said the 320d was the 'best'.