Tips to make my car look newer
Discussion
FourWheelDrift said:
Download the latest brochure for the newest version of your car's dashboard, blow up the centre console tv screen, print it off (on a colour printer, doh!) and then stick it over your dash for the instant update fix.
That is inspired. Given that my Disco won't do over 80 without asmathic wheezing and clouds of black smoke, what should I pre-set the mph and revs at? Say 120mph and 2,000rpm?If I set the temp. gauge at 'normal', can I ignore any future overheating issues?
toerag said:
record yourself giving directions then play it when you pull up next to someone at the traffic lights
It has satnav, although today was the first time I'd used it in years. It tried to get me to turn right onto the High Street in Glasgow. This was not allowed, as the signs indicated. Would my defence of, "I know occifer, but Selga told me to do it because she's working on a 2004 DVD" carry any weight in court?On a stinking day, drive with all your windows up and smile serenely at other drivers who will assume you have working climate control.
For added effect, plug in an Argos desk fan on max and blast yourself with hot air, in order to ruffle your locks.
Also talk loudly to yourself so others assume your phone has paired seamlessly with your Bluetooth connectivity. Mix it up between laughing (when talking about your bonus) and sternly shouting (when putting a flea in the ear of some underling)
For added effect, plug in an Argos desk fan on max and blast yourself with hot air, in order to ruffle your locks.
Also talk loudly to yourself so others assume your phone has paired seamlessly with your Bluetooth connectivity. Mix it up between laughing (when talking about your bonus) and sternly shouting (when putting a flea in the ear of some underling)
Edited by Matt UK on Saturday 13th August 23:44
During hill starts, set off with the handbrake still on momentarily to simulate the 'auto hold' feature.
When approaching an HGV in lane 1 of the motorway, decelerate right before you pull out to overtake, hey presto - adaptive cruise control!
Tack some B&M LED lights on your front bumper for that authentic DRL look...
When approaching an HGV in lane 1 of the motorway, decelerate right before you pull out to overtake, hey presto - adaptive cruise control!
Tack some B&M LED lights on your front bumper for that authentic DRL look...
w1bbles said:
My Disco 3 has just hit 160,000 miles after 14 years of life, the last 3 in serious neglect. Driving to Glasgow today and witnessing the clever new Audi indicators, I have decided to do some things to make my car appear to be more modern. The only rule I have applied is that there may be no replacement of things like grilles and lights to bling up the old girl to Disco 4 spec. Here are the top ideas to date:
1. When changing lane, hold the indicator stalk for exactly 3 flashes. Tricky one, this, if the stalks go 'click'.
2. Pretend to be asleep at the wheel while keeping eyes open just a teeny bit with head rolled back and tongue out. Drift over white line and steer car back quickly into lane using knees.
3. Carry an extension lead that I can plug into charging points (but without paying - bonus!).
4. Fit a fake button on the dash that I can press while simultaneously subtly turning the actual key to start the engine.
5. Pour AdBlue onto my boot carpet every now and then.
6. Wait for ages to dip headlights and blame this (if stopped in a road rage incident) on auto-dipping. being 'vah vah slow'
7. Erm...
8. That's it.
Any more ideas?
Roffle 1. When changing lane, hold the indicator stalk for exactly 3 flashes. Tricky one, this, if the stalks go 'click'.
2. Pretend to be asleep at the wheel while keeping eyes open just a teeny bit with head rolled back and tongue out. Drift over white line and steer car back quickly into lane using knees.
3. Carry an extension lead that I can plug into charging points (but without paying - bonus!).
4. Fit a fake button on the dash that I can press while simultaneously subtly turning the actual key to start the engine.
5. Pour AdBlue onto my boot carpet every now and then.
6. Wait for ages to dip headlights and blame this (if stopped in a road rage incident) on auto-dipping. being 'vah vah slow'
7. Erm...
8. That's it.
Any more ideas?
9. Keep your windows closed even in hot weather, so everyone thinks you have climate control.
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