A stage 1 remapped 335d, all the car you'll ever need??
Discussion
The fact that a number of you have "ganged up" behind the safety of your keyboards speaks enormous volumes.
The fact that many of you will so easily choose to insult someone you don't even know is very revealing.
Here's the truth folks - you are all suffering some fairly significant insecurity - I've had similar people realise the error of their ways and apologise rather profusely and I now keep in regular touch. All have revealed some sort of major life issue without fail.
Some of the insults here are quite frankly appalling and any mods worth their salt should be handing out multiple warnings and bans.
Now look at yourselves you nasty little people and ask, am I actually bad or is it just a vent to try and make your ever so mundane, dull lives feel a little better? It absolutely is and I can say with total certainty that all of you have some major problem - without resorting to checking your history like you cretins have done with me (clearly you CAN'T ignore me) I know that Squeeze suffers major health issues; that's sad to hear but it's just an example of what I'm talking about.
Searching for old posts, insulting me, checking my history and garage - who is the real tool here eh? A bunch of internet geeks that got bullied at school. I know the exact types - they stay in IT, make a few bob (sometimes) and become intolerable ar5es. I worked in IT recruitment for years; I've seen it all.
You utter geeks NEED people like me to try and make up for a pretty rubbish life. Mine couldn't be better thanks. Yours sucks.
MODS - sort this out please; it makes the forum look bad, it shows a very nasty side of an otherwise decent place to talk cars and other things.
The fact that many of you will so easily choose to insult someone you don't even know is very revealing.
Here's the truth folks - you are all suffering some fairly significant insecurity - I've had similar people realise the error of their ways and apologise rather profusely and I now keep in regular touch. All have revealed some sort of major life issue without fail.
Some of the insults here are quite frankly appalling and any mods worth their salt should be handing out multiple warnings and bans.
Now look at yourselves you nasty little people and ask, am I actually bad or is it just a vent to try and make your ever so mundane, dull lives feel a little better? It absolutely is and I can say with total certainty that all of you have some major problem - without resorting to checking your history like you cretins have done with me (clearly you CAN'T ignore me) I know that Squeeze suffers major health issues; that's sad to hear but it's just an example of what I'm talking about.
Searching for old posts, insulting me, checking my history and garage - who is the real tool here eh? A bunch of internet geeks that got bullied at school. I know the exact types - they stay in IT, make a few bob (sometimes) and become intolerable ar5es. I worked in IT recruitment for years; I've seen it all.
You utter geeks NEED people like me to try and make up for a pretty rubbish life. Mine couldn't be better thanks. Yours sucks.
MODS - sort this out please; it makes the forum look bad, it shows a very nasty side of an otherwise decent place to talk cars and other things.
Edited by Vladimir on Saturday 23 November 17:06
Edited by Vladimir on Saturday 23 November 17:07
J4CKO said:
It's only an Internet forum mate, dont take it to heart, don't take it too seriously, you let them get to you and it escalates, you don't need to react, you dont need to prove anything.
Amen to that - if I DO have an "issue" it's reacting to cretinous geeks that think they are being clever. Anyway back on topic again - if you do remap, use a respected remapper NOT some standard mapping company.
Treat the place as I do - as an alternative to reading a comic or playing darts. Never, ever, take anything too seriously. It's the equivalent of asking for complex advice from a shopful of Asda customers. You might get lucky, the odd brain surgeon and barrister shops there, but in all likelihood...
Motorrad said:
J4CKO said:
OOOoo, its like Scoobynet circa 2006 !
I bet that gimp Vlad is NACRO 
I do like a good troll, it is very rare that anyone can actually wind me up via a keyboard, I did like NACRO though, not sure if he was one and the same as Mycroft ?
I tend to try and forget that I have an internet inbetween myself and you lot in case we actually meet, its like how I talk about people at work, always assume they are in earshot.
Vladimir said:
Anyway back on topic again - if you do remap, use a respected remapper NOT some standard mapping company.
I used these guys. Expensive, but worth it. The switch box enables you to switch between standard or remap as you like.
Read the magazine article, it shows how the D beats the I around the track by a gnats cock.
In the real world though, it wont... that gear box
but I think Ive mentioned that enough nottyash said:
http://www.evolveautomotive.com/e9x-engine-ecu_726...
I used these guys. Expensive, but worth it. The switch box enables you to switch between standard or remap as you like.
Read the magazine article, it shows how the D beats the I around the track by a gnats cock.
In the real world though, it wont... that gear box but I think Ive mentioned that enough
Yep, Evolve seem to be one of the best. Emaps and DMS are well regarded too.I used these guys. Expensive, but worth it. The switch box enables you to switch between standard or remap as you like.
Read the magazine article, it shows how the D beats the I around the track by a gnats cock.
In the real world though, it wont... that gear box
but I think Ive mentioned that enough I get told off when I mention that "race." TBH I think the 335i they used was a bit ropey. But it shows they are close.
Vladimir said:
The fact that a number of you have "ganged up" behind the safety of your keyboards speaks enormous volumes.
The fact that many of you will so easily choose to insult someone you don't even know is very revealing.
Here's the truth folks - you are all suffering some fairly significant insecurity - I've had similar people realise the error of their ways and apologise rather profusely and I now keep in regular touch. All have revealed some sort of major life issue without fail.
Some of the insults here are quite frankly appalling and any mods worth their salt should be handing out multiple warnings and bans.
Now look at yourselves you nasty little people and ask, am I actually bad or is it just a vent to try and make your ever so mundane, dull lives feel a little better? It absolutely is and I can say with total certainty that all of you have some major problem - without resorting to checking your history like you cretins have done with me (clearly you CAN'T ignore me) I know that Squeeze suffers major health issues; that's sad to hear but it's just an example of what I'm talking about.
Searching for old posts, insulting me, checking my history and garage - who is the real tool here eh? A bunch of internet geeks that got bullied at school. I know the exact types - they stay in IT, make a few bob (sometimes) and become intolerable ar5es. I worked in IT recruitment for years; I've seen it all.
You utter geeks NEED people like me to try and make up for a pretty rubbish life. Mine couldn't be better thanks. Yours sucks.
MODS - sort this out please; it makes the forum look bad, it shows a very nasty side of an otherwise decent place to talk cars and other things.
I'll admit to something, that rant is one of the funniest things I've read on here for a long time! How do you not get what's going on here? People (me included) are yanking your chain because you're such an easy target as you never fail to bite and when you do, your bites are absolutely priceless - 'I'm better than you, more educated, my wife's more gorgeous than yours, my 335d SE is the ultimate Q car and if anyone thinks otherwise is blinkered, I go surfing every lunchtime' and on and on ad nauseum. You're the sport, sport and if you can wrap your head around that then you might, just might save yourself from looking even more stupid than you do already. Are you absolutely sure you weren't born yesterday?The fact that many of you will so easily choose to insult someone you don't even know is very revealing.
Here's the truth folks - you are all suffering some fairly significant insecurity - I've had similar people realise the error of their ways and apologise rather profusely and I now keep in regular touch. All have revealed some sort of major life issue without fail.
Some of the insults here are quite frankly appalling and any mods worth their salt should be handing out multiple warnings and bans.
Now look at yourselves you nasty little people and ask, am I actually bad or is it just a vent to try and make your ever so mundane, dull lives feel a little better? It absolutely is and I can say with total certainty that all of you have some major problem - without resorting to checking your history like you cretins have done with me (clearly you CAN'T ignore me) I know that Squeeze suffers major health issues; that's sad to hear but it's just an example of what I'm talking about.
Searching for old posts, insulting me, checking my history and garage - who is the real tool here eh? A bunch of internet geeks that got bullied at school. I know the exact types - they stay in IT, make a few bob (sometimes) and become intolerable ar5es. I worked in IT recruitment for years; I've seen it all.
You utter geeks NEED people like me to try and make up for a pretty rubbish life. Mine couldn't be better thanks. Yours sucks.
MODS - sort this out please; it makes the forum look bad, it shows a very nasty side of an otherwise decent place to talk cars and other things.
Edited by Vladimir on Saturday 23 November 17:06
Edited by Vladimir on Saturday 23 November 17:07
I moderate over on ARRSE and I must admit that you would probably have been binned sometime ago for your general inability to understand what's going on and your abrasive and frankly obtuse posting style but PH clearly has a different moderating policy (less the warning given to you above) so you get away with it. You've actually probably got lots to add here but when you post like a four year old, you can expect some flak and not get all wriggly lipped when it comes your way. Anyway, I'm done here as there's no more fun in it anymore so fill yer boots with a response, it'll get read but I won't respond to it. Feel free to join ARRSE mind..
I'm still chuckling!
Drek said:
I'll admit to something, that rant is one of the funniest things I've read on here for a long time! How do you not get what's going on here? People (me included) are yanking your chain because you're such an easy target as you never fail to bite and when you do, your bites are absolutely priceless - 'I'm better than you, more educated, my wife's more gorgeous than yours, my 335d SE is the ultimate Q car and if anyone thinks otherwise is blinkered, I go surfing every lunchtime' and on and on ad nauseum. You're the sport, sport and if you can wrap your head around that then you might, just might save yourself from looking even more stupid than you do already. Are you absolutely sure you weren't born yesterday?
I moderate over on ARRSE and I must admit that you would probably have been binned sometime ago for your general inability to understand what's going on and your abrasive and frankly obtuse posting style but PH clearly has a different moderating policy (less the warning given to you above) so you get away with it. You've actually probably got lots to add here but when you post like a four year old, you can expect some flak and not get all wriggly lipped when it comes your way. Anyway, I'm done here as there's no more fun in it anymore so fill yer boots with a response, it'll get read but I won't respond to it. Feel free to join ARRSE mind..
I'm still chuckling!
Fair post TBH - not insulting, takes the pi55 but in a reasonable way. Better than the other insulting posts.I moderate over on ARRSE and I must admit that you would probably have been binned sometime ago for your general inability to understand what's going on and your abrasive and frankly obtuse posting style but PH clearly has a different moderating policy (less the warning given to you above) so you get away with it. You've actually probably got lots to add here but when you post like a four year old, you can expect some flak and not get all wriggly lipped when it comes your way. Anyway, I'm done here as there's no more fun in it anymore so fill yer boots with a response, it'll get read but I won't respond to it. Feel free to join ARRSE mind..
I'm still chuckling!
Someone is viewing the 335d tomorrow so it might well be gone soon ;-)
Vladimir said:
Drek said:
I'll admit to something, that rant is one of the funniest things I've read on here for a long time! How do you not get what's going on here? People (me included) are yanking your chain because you're such an easy target as you never fail to bite and when you do, your bites are absolutely priceless - 'I'm better than you, more educated, my wife's more gorgeous than yours, my 335d SE is the ultimate Q car and if anyone thinks otherwise is blinkered, I go surfing every lunchtime' and on and on ad nauseum. You're the sport, sport and if you can wrap your head around that then you might, just might save yourself from looking even more stupid than you do already. Are you absolutely sure you weren't born yesterday?
I moderate over on ARRSE and I must admit that you would probably have been binned sometime ago for your general inability to understand what's going on and your abrasive and frankly obtuse posting style but PH clearly has a different moderating policy (less the warning given to you above) so you get away with it. You've actually probably got lots to add here but when you post like a four year old, you can expect some flak and not get all wriggly lipped when it comes your way. Anyway, I'm done here as there's no more fun in it anymore so fill yer boots with a response, it'll get read but I won't respond to it. Feel free to join ARRSE mind..
I'm still chuckling!
Fair post TBH - not insulting, takes the pi55 but in a reasonable way. Better than the other insulting posts.I moderate over on ARRSE and I must admit that you would probably have been binned sometime ago for your general inability to understand what's going on and your abrasive and frankly obtuse posting style but PH clearly has a different moderating policy (less the warning given to you above) so you get away with it. You've actually probably got lots to add here but when you post like a four year old, you can expect some flak and not get all wriggly lipped when it comes your way. Anyway, I'm done here as there's no more fun in it anymore so fill yer boots with a response, it'll get read but I won't respond to it. Feel free to join ARRSE mind..
I'm still chuckling!
Someone is viewing the 335d tomorrow so it might well be gone soon ;-)
Drek said:
I moderate over on ARRSE and I must admit that you would probably have been binned sometime ago for your general inability to understand what's going on and your abrasive and frankly obtuse posting style but PH clearly has a different moderating policy (less the warning given to you above) so you get away with it. You've actually probably got lots to add here but when you post like a four year old, you can expect some flak and not get all wriggly lipped when it comes your way. Anyway, I'm done here as there's no more fun in it anymore so fill yer boots with a response, it'll get read but I won't respond to it. Feel free to join ARRSE mind..
I'm still chuckling!
I just checked that site out I've not heard of it before. Some of it is probably the most vulgar, politically incorrect humour I've ever heard of. Honestly it shocked me a bit and I've seen stuff by Chris Rock, Louis CK, George Carlin, etc. Some of it was funny, but some just made me go WTF. You lot make Roy Chubby Brown look like Michael Mcintyre! Guess it's all not really meant/tongue in cheek but. I'm still chuckling!
I've led a sheltered life! Only comic that comes close to shock value was a stand up at a festival I went to who went on for ten minutes about a diarrhea related incident. Yuck!Edited by iloveboost on Saturday 23 November 21:07
willmagrath said:
Like the title says, is a lightly tuned 335d all the car you ever need? I've been looking into it and it seems the standard car (286hp) can be easily and almost cheaply remapped up to 350hp and still retain its 42mpg! They can bought for as little as £7k and remapped for 600 odd, anyone think of anything better??
Yes, a Range Rover 4.4i, same power, same budget, I'd much rather spend all my driving time in one than a Three : http://www.autotrader.co.uk/classified/advert/2013...Except what the budget would actually go on would be 394bhp & 369lb ft of M5: http://www.autotrader.co.uk/classified/advert/2013...
Either of which would - and have - filled the role of "all the car you'll ever need" for me, vastly preferable to a diesel Three (which I've also tried, E92 330d manual, adequate, but tedious as well as not as aesthetically appealing to me). I'd be tempted to see if a 760i also fits the bill.
So really, it depends what your criteria are. Best for one might not be best for another and opinions can vary etc.
Vladimir said:
You stalk well, don't you? I bet you're not terribly tough in real life.
I'll ignore you all now unless any of you would care to meet in person. Which you won't.
Off topic I know, but this is a shoe-in for the "Most cringe-worthy insults" thread we had in the lounge a few weeks back.I'll ignore you all now unless any of you would care to meet in person. Which you won't.
I can't understand how anyone could have so much attachment to a diesel rep mobile that they'd start ranting about their house by the sea and going surfing at lunch time in an attempt to justify it. We get it Wladomir, you love a diesel, autobox rep car, we don't need to hear that more than once, but sadly every other post in this thread is a love sonnet to the 335d penned by yourself.
For a daily hack, for people who live on real world wages driving in real world conditions, a 335/535d is a pretty complete package, and just shows how far diesels have come. Coupled to a typically great BMW chassis, they are a superb car. All the power & torque is easily accessible, & will cruise happily at triple figures all day long.
They are NOT a replacement for a "fun" car, but for the job they are designed to do I don't think there is much out there to touch them.
They are NOT a replacement for a "fun" car, but for the job they are designed to do I don't think there is much out there to touch them.
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