Stupid things non petrolheads say... Vol 2

[forzaminardi]

Grunt Futtock said:

Mr_Yogi said:

Grunt Futtock said:

So I googled 'Ford C-Max remap' and followed one of the links to the C-Max Owners Club forum and found this gem:

"There are 9 settings on the Tunit.For every day use I have it set on 5,this gives about 30bhp & 30lbs of torque extra.I can get between 40 & 45mpg round town driving it normally.
I set it to 7 last year when I went to Devon ( 170 miles each way ) twice in 2 weeks last summer and on first trip got about 62ish mpg doing 80/85.Second trip got 67going down with average of 55mpg while down there & on way back fully loaded with 3 people & a/c on driving at 70mph with odd blast up to 80 to pass lines of slower stuff I managed to get 70mpg.
I`ve had no problems at all.I fitted it myself in about 5 mins & the only time I touch it is to adjust the setting.
I bought it direct from Tunit.I ordered it over the phone & I recieved it within 48hrs.
I have also fitted a K&N panel air filter.
My wife was very worried about me fitting it but as soon as she tried it (set on 5 ) she loved it,said it had transformed it .
I have had it set to 9 a couple of times & I can easily leave Golf GTI`S (both petrol & diesel) for dead.
The biggest improvement at any setting is the in gear power,set on 7 I can out distance most cars when accelerating (in 6th gear) from 50 to 70mph.Set on 9 and I can leave my brothers 335i coupe very easily.
I have to be very careful in the wet as I don`t have traction or stability & I have got wheelspin in 5th several times."

That is the best thing I've read all day, thankyou very much

EDIT: What engine was the Tunit fitted to?

Looking back at the thread it was a 2.0TDCI which puts out about 134bhp stock, looking at the Tunit for that model it can boost it to 160. If we take the lightest 2.0TDCI Zetec at 1420kg it gives a power to weight of 112 bhp per ton. The 335i is about 187 bhp per ton so unless his brother had a gearbox problem I can't see the C-Max (even on setting 9!) leaving it behind anywhere unless it's the queue at the drive-thru.

I think you should register on the C-Max owners forum and call his bluff.

[Oliverrun]

Joratk said:

"Ohh, that's a nice Bentley." - in relation to seeing a Chrysler 300C in a car park. Both had a good laugh when I explained!

Saw a 300C which someone had stuck a Bentley badge on the front.

No words.

[nicanary]

Oliverrun said:

Joratk said:

"Ohh, that's a nice Bentley." - in relation to seeing a Chrysler 300C in a car park. Both had a good laugh when I explained!

Saw a 300C which someone had stuck a Bentley badge on the front.

No words.

Several of them in my town. There's even a wedding-car company that advertises them as Bentleys in their brochures. All because the radiator grille looks a BIT like one if you squint when facing the sun.

The "B" badges are on wheel trims as well - very popular with taxi drivers round here who tend to be "council" types.

[Raine Man]

forzaminardi said:

I think you should register on the C-Max owners forum and call his bluff.

I had a 2.0 X-Type and got it remapped to about 165hp, it did shift a lot better but outstrip a 335 it would not! Also wheel spin in 5th, I think his clutch is slipping!

[over_the_hill]

HappyMidget said:

Blown2CV said:

HappyMidget said:

Overheard a chap on the train last night talking to on the phone about financing a new C63 AMG. So many gems in his conversation, some of the best:
"It has a 6.3 litre engine!"
"I have to have all the options, couldn't drive a car that didn't"

i'd be willing to bet that there was no-one at the other end.

I could actually hear the sound of someone talking at the other end but could not ascertain if it was the talking clock or not

Sexy Sandra on 0898 ....

[AH33]

nicanary said:

Several of them in my town. There's even a wedding-car company that advertises them as Bentleys in their brochures. All because the radiator grille looks a BIT like one if you squint when facing the sun.

The "B" badges are on wheel trims as well - very popular with taxi drivers round here who tend to be "council" types.

I once heard a horrific woman on the phone to another horror talking about getting "them baby bentleys" for her wedding. I knew exactly what she meant, the stupid tt.

[romeogolf]

"I wanted a Golf but it's a bit posh 'cause it's German." - Skoda Driver at work.

[Rostfritt]

AH33 said:

I once heard a horrific woman on the phone to another horror talking about getting "them baby bentleys" for her wedding. I knew exactly what she meant, the stupid tt.

They do fool quite a few people, I remember seeing one in fake Bentley badges as a taxi, someone with me wondered how they could afford to run a Bentley with the amount they get in fares.

A bit of fun I suppose for a taxi, but for a wedding? That is pretty tacky.

[AH33]

http://www.protocolweddingcars.co.uk/300c_baby_ben...

"Baby Bentley wedding car" gives me chest pains

[dlockhart]

AH33 said:

http://www.protocolweddingcars.co.uk/300c_baby_ben...

"Baby Bentley wedding car" gives me chest pains

fantastic

[MWM3]

AH33 said:

http://www.protocolweddingcars.co.uk/300c_baby_ben...

"Baby Bentley wedding car" gives me chest pains

I see they have a cracking website as well.

[Oliverrun]

MWM3 said:

I see they have a cracking website as well.

Claiming 500bhp from an F360...ambitious...

[Spannerski]

OldBob said:

"..but with my car I only pay £30 (or less) road tax..." The casual listener amongst those talking about performance cars.

I often hear people telling me they want to buy a classic car to save on road tax!
Don't seem to take into account the extra money they'll spend on higher maintenance costs, fuel consumption etc...

[V88Dicky]

AH33 said:

http://www.protocolweddingcars.co.uk/300c_baby_ben...

"Baby Bentley wedding car" gives me chest pains

Just which Bentley are these Chryslers supposed to look like? I don't get it.

[Flibble]

V88Dicky said:

Just which Bentley are these Chryslers supposed to look like? I don't get it.

I think they're supposed to look like a Continental Flying Spur. It's not that close if you ask me though:

[V88Dicky]

Flibble said:

V88Dicky said:

Just which Bentley are these Chryslers supposed to look like? I don't get it.

I think they're supposed to look like a Continental Flying Spur. It's not that close if you ask me though:

Mmmmm, can't see it.

Wait, how about...








Nope!

[Mr Snrub]

dlockhart said:

AH33 said:

http://www.protocolweddingcars.co.uk/300c_baby_ben...

"Baby Bentley wedding car" gives me chest pains

fantastic

Or you can have a 53 plate Jaguar X Type. Must be all of 2 grand

[PanzerCommander]

You forget though, as petrol heads we can tell the difference between a 300c (not a bad car in its own right; especially with the big V8). Put one in front of my Grandma with Bentley written on the back and a few Bentley badges and she wouldn't know the difference between that and the real deal.

[Blown2CV]

PanzerCommander said:

You forget though, as petrol heads we can tell the difference between a 300c (not a bad car in its own right; especially with the big V8). Put one in front of my Grandma with Bentley written on the back and a few Bentley badges and she wouldn't know the difference between that and the real deal.

check out the thread title.

[stephen300o]

"I saw a car this morning, it was red with a black roof, what was it?"