One single thing that makes you think "knob" Vol 3

[DavidJG]

carlove said:

I got honked at this morning and I cannot fathom why.
I was on a clear straight 30 road, approaching was a woman in a Suzuki Swift with parked cars on her side, she decides she cannot wait behind them and starts coming head on with me, I have to brake quite hard so she has room to clear the cars, then she sounds the sttiest horn I've ever heard at me and gives me a WTF wave. A pedestrian noticed and looked equally confused.

There was nothing behind me and nothing behind her, so not even sure why she couldn't wait for me.

She clearly hasn't read the detail of the highway code regarding who has right of way in this situation. I find a surprising number of drivers don't seem to understand this one and automatically assume that they have right of way, simply because they're more important than anyone else on the road.

[SistersofPercy]

Two on the A50 to Uttoxeter last night, first was girl in a Micra, as described above with nose to windscreen. Weaving across 2 lanes on the approach to the roundabout, nearly took out a car in the inside lane as she decided she wanted that lane afterall and fog light beaming brightly despite it being a rather clear night here. On passing her on the carriageway I also realised she'd got main beam on. Not a clue.

The second was a white van, there is a really dark section of that road at night. Thought it was a small motorbike at first but as I approached it was a van with one incredibly dim rear light, no numberplate light and the back doors open and tethered by a bit of cord flapping as he went.

[ferrariF50lover]

carlove said:

I have to brake quite hard so she has room to clear the cars

Does your car get narrower if you go slower?

[Monkeylegend]

ferrariF50lover said:

carlove said:

I have to brake quite hard so she has room to clear the cars

Does your car get narrower if you go slower?

They elongate a bit if you break hard.

[grayze]

Monkeylegend said:

They elongate a bit if you break hard.

I thought they would have got wider?

[anonymous-user]

grayze said:

Monkeylegend said:

They elongate a bit if you break hard.

I thought they would have got wider?

Not if its the handbrake only.
Christ that sounds bloody dangerous Monkeylegend are you nuts?

[MarkRSi]

Monkeylegend said:

ferrariF50lover said:

carlove said:

I have to brake quite hard so she has room to clear the cars

Does your car get narrower if you go slower?

They elongate a bit if you break hard.

Isn't that if you enter warp speed? Should have floored it OP

[Monkeylegend]

V6Pushfit said:

grayze said:

Monkeylegend said:

They elongate a bit if you break hard.

I thought they would have got wider?

Not if its the handbrake only.
Christ that sounds bloody dangerous Monkeylegend are you nuts?

FerrariF50 started it. In the real world they will stretch a bit as you accelerate and compress a bit as you brake, but probably not enough to notice, unless it is Fiat or something similarly fragile.

Apparently Concorde grew by about 18 inches in length in supersonic flight

[Speed Badger]

People that buy brand new shte cars, when they could have bought something much better 1-3 years older.

[anonymous-user]

Monkeylegend said:

Apparently Concorde grew by about 18 inches in length in supersonic flight

I've never been supersonic so that explains quite a lot thanks

[kowalski655]

Old Doris in a Skoda today:1st roundabout she is in the left lane marked "left only",but halfway round decides to cut across to the ahead lane,across the chevrons.Next roundabout,in L1 of 3,indicates right(WTF!), cant change lanes due to traffic,so then indicates left, but goes straight ahead again!
Lady,I dont think those indicators are for what you think they are for(whatever THAT may be!)

[WD39]

Blanchimont said:

Knob reward goes to the dosey mare yesterday on the slip road onto the M5 at Avonmouth.

Decided that because of the heavy traffic, and the left hand was blocked for 500yrds, and the outside lane was free, I went up the outside lane to merge in much further up, along with half a dozen or so other cars, they all merged fine, without people trying to block, but dosey mare tried to block me when merging (got that close to the car infront she was inches from hitting it).

Normally I don't bother with it, and let them in front and carry on as normal, but last night for some reason I decided to engage in her childish attempts and give it a go merging. The car infront saw what was happening, waiting, and then pulled away quickly leaving a gap I could slot in, which I did. Cue doey mare giving it the horn, turning the full beams on for a couple of minutes and giving me the coffee beans.

I don't think she liked me putting my hazards on to say thanks, as she went ballistic

A query. Is the slip road on to the M5 near Avonmouth a single lane road?

[WD39]

Triumph Man said:

Blown2CV said:

how is blocking people helping with merging? It's promoting the idea that it's a battle of the lanes, and just because someone goes past you doesn't meant they aren't going to merge... the sheer fact that there is room to the right means they'd merge ahead of you anyway... tool behaviour.

I met my Girlfriend's friend's new boyfriend the other day, he apologised for being a bit late as there was some traffic on the bypass, and said that "idiots" were going up the outside lane and "cutting in". He then told me how he likes to block such people. My response was "oh well you wouldn't like me then."

My knob nomination today goes to the driver of the blue 320d estate. Yesterday he flew up behind me (bear in mind I had just set off from traffic lights and was in traffic). He then overtook me on double white lines. I admit I did call him a wker. I later thought as I saw him pulling more dangerous overtakes that perhaps he was in a hurry and had heard his wife was dying etc etc, after all you never know why people are driving like idiots. This morning, however, whilst driving through a village at 40 mph (as is the speed limit) and again on double white lines he flew past me.

I'm not a slow driver, and I have no problem with being overtaken, apart from when it's someone driving like a complete dick in an inappropriate location.

The new boyfriend is on message. Probably a member of APIS.

[WD39]

Is his thread, one the best on PH, moribund?

[Blanchimont]

WD39 said:

Blanchimont said:

Knob reward goes to the dosey mare yesterday on the slip road onto the M5 at Avonmouth.

Decided that because of the heavy traffic, and the left hand was blocked for 500yrds, and the outside lane was free, I went up the outside lane to merge in much further up, along with half a dozen or so other cars, they all merged fine, without people trying to block, but dosey mare tried to block me when merging (got that close to the car infront she was inches from hitting it).

Normally I don't bother with it, and let them in front and carry on as normal, but last night for some reason I decided to engage in her childish attempts and give it a go merging. The car infront saw what was happening, waiting, and then pulled away quickly leaving a gap I could slot in, which I did. Cue doey mare giving it the horn, turning the full beams on for a couple of minutes and giving me the coffee beans.

I don't think she liked me putting my hazards on to say thanks, as she went ballistic

A query. Is the slip road on to the M5 near Avonmouth a single lane road?

It has a 270 degree left which is a single lane. It has 2 lanes leading up to it that merge into one before the corner.

[playalistic]

The knob jockey in the blue focus going past Bracknell on the A329 on Sunday afternoon. I passed on the inside because he didn't move over from a clear-as-the-eyes-can-see lane 2. For him then to chase me for a mile, and make it a life goal to pass me and then brake test me. Then match the speed of a car in lane 1 so I couldn't pass again.

I was bemused to say the least. It makes you wonder what some people have going on in their lives...

[Hackney]

The lady in the volvo to my right at this junction this morning.
https://www.google.co.uk/maps/@51.606728,-0.300870...

After the lights the straight ahead narrows to one lane (with no lane markings), so I'm always watchful of where people are going. The Volvo was to my right as we approached and I was far enough back that I could see her tail lights, specifically watching to see if she'd indicate right so I'd know merging wouldn't be an issue.

She indicated left. There was quite a gap in front of us both, so I just waited for her to pull forward and in.
She slowed down a little. So did I, so she could continue and pull in.
She slowed a little more. So I accelerated into the wide empty space in front of us both. As I passed her she gave the upward palms, arms outstretched "what the hell are you doing?" shrug.

I'm at a loss as to what she expected me to do, stop dead so she could pull in front?


That and people who indicate right no matter which exit they're taking from a roundabout. It's as though they think they're indicating right to "join" the roundabout, as you would when joining a motorway. Idiots!

[romeogolf]

Dear driver of Mercedes ML420,

If I'd have known you wanted to ride my arse down the A31 I'd have put some lube in the glove box.

Cheers,

Me.

(Incidentally, it clearly didn't get you very far as when I moved over you then sat behind the same car I was sat behind for the next 5 miles).

[WD39]

playalistic said:

The knob jockey in the blue focus going past Bracknell on the A329 on Sunday afternoon. I passed on the inside because he didn't move over from a clear-as-the-eyes-can-see lane 2. For him then to chase me for a mile, and make it a life goal to pass me and then brake test me. Then match the speed of a car in lane 1 so I couldn't pass again.

I was bemused to say the least. It makes you wonder what some people have going on in their lives...

Absolutely nothing.

[P5BNij]

It pains me to put this one on here as the car being driven was a real beauty, nonetheless, the grey haired, grizzled old codger beind the wheel of his maroon MkX Jag did a knobbish u-turn right in front of me at a traffic light controlled crossroads junction on the Oxford to Banbury road this morning, damn near taking out my company van in the process, no warning, no indicating, just a Sweeney-esque, barge wallowing 180 degree turn in busy traffic! A few seconds after completing this he pulled up on the kerb, looking a bit lost, poor fellow.