What has your "friend" been up to?

[Bill]

Magnum 475 said:

Breadvan72 said:

I think that I may have mentioned before that my friend used to go about with a tall woman who had very large feet, of the kind usually found only on police men. She was a very well dressed woman and she loved swanky and high shoes, but most of the makers of posh shoes do not make shoes in her size. Thus she had to buy her shoes from designers that aim at the tranny market. She used to make jokes about this, but my friend found out the hard way that ONLY she was allowed to make jokes about the police feet and the tranny shoes.

My friend has a similar issue with his aforementioned wife, who is around 6’1” tall, with feet that are largely in proportion to her height. It is best not to use the words ‘large’ or ‘big’ when discussing her feet, even though most ladies shoes are not made in large quantities in a size that will fit. Thankfully some designers do seem to recognise the existence of women who are more that 5’2” tall, and make a small number of appropriately sized shoes.

My friend's wife is similarly statuesque and generally maintains her sense of humour over her shoe size. However, when she was training for a marathon she complained she hadn't lost any weight despite all the exercise and he replied, in one of those oft-remembered moments, "Well, you've lost bulk." Oops!

[anonymous-user]

That's a triple OOOCH!


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yiv7pcWski0

[csd19]

The Brummie said:

My friend is not allowed too buy any Lego due to his better half finding his recently purchased Bugatti Chiron.

This morning, whilst my friend was at work, a delivery arrived from Lego.....

Said delivery was arranged for Monday. DPD are crap!!!

My friends better half was extremely pissed off when she called him to ask what was in the box.

She was even more pissed off when he got home & had to open the box in front of his other half to reveal not one but two large & expensive Lego kits.

My friend is currently hiding in the kitchen to escape the wrath, anger & torrent of abuse & foul language from his other half.

My friend vaguely remembers (and swears blindly), back in an earlier lockdown, that he had a few postings with your friend regarding Lego purchases. As such he empathises with your friend's current predicament but also wants to know which sets managed to drop him in le merde with his other half?

My friend managed to stop his buying spree after the Defender and some big hooring crane thing, and instead began working his way through BrewDog's range of tasty alcoholic beverages - which, he tells me, has just reminded him that the recycling bin is due out this week and he'll need to squash the cans down a bit to get the lid shut.

[Tyre Smoke]

My friend drove his Trabant over 100kms at the weekend. He can confirm it is managing a wonderful 18.3 mpg. He also says his wife followed him this morning and Trabitha has no functioning brake lights. Two minutes of fiddling indicated no positive supply to the switch. He says it's probably something to do with fuse number 8 of 8 in total. The rot and gelb wire needs an ignition fed live apparently.

He is now waiting patiently for Line of Duty.

[Justin Case]

My friend's wife refused to go out in my friend's car this afternoon as it was too mucky, even though my friend pointed out that the car hadn't been used for six months, so therefore couldn't be too mucky. My friend, being inclined to economy in the use of labour, now wonders whether it would be more economical to scrub away at his existing car or to buy a clean one.

[greendiff]

My friend accidentally acquired a 6.2 C63, and quickly realised why the rear tyres don't tend to last long while spending the weekend giggling whilst undertaking an essential journey to 'road test' said acquisition.

[anonymous-user]

Hello, friends of friends. The real world is sort of making a vague reappearance, and I've decided that I need to focus on preventing my friend from doing the sort of unwise things that he habitually does. I shall fail in this, of course, but as part of this futile project I am binning most forms of social media, including this one. So cheerio, and I hope that all of your friends can avoid the worst consequences of their excesses.

[CanAm]

Our friends will miss his tales.

[Tyre Smoke]

This a shame. Best of luck Breadders.

[mikewilliams79]

Breadvan72 said:

Hello, friends of friends. The real world is sort of making a vague reappearance, and I've decided that I need to focus on preventing my friend from doing the sort of unwise things that he habitually does. I shall fail in this, of course, but as part of this futile project I am binning most forms of social media, including this one. So cheerio, and I hope that all of your friends can avoid the worst consequences of their excesses.

If your friend if only binning most then surely this one is most acceptable

[Bill]

My friend gives it an hour before he's back.

[psi310398]

Bill said:

My friend gives it an hour before he's back.

Indeed, while my friend naturally wishes Breadvan72 all the best, and will miss his contributions, he really thinks he is saying au revoir rather than adieu!

[CanAm]

psi310398 said:

Indeed, while my friend naturally wishes Breadvan72 all the best, and will miss his contributions, he really thinks he is saying au revoir rather than adieu!

And all of our friends hope you are correct.

[talksthetorque]

Breadvan72 said:

Hello, friends of friends. The real world is sort of making a vague reappearance, and I've decided that I need to focus on preventing my friend from doing the sort of unwise things that he habitually does. I shall fail in this, of course, but as part of this futile project I am binning most forms of social media, including this one. So cheerio, and I hope that all of your friends can avoid the worst consequences of their excesses.

My Friend wishes him good luck, but thinks that buying too many cars that nearly work is nothing to do with the meejers.

[Justin Case]

talksthetorque said:

My Friend wishes him good luck, but thinks that buying too many cars that nearly work is nothing to do with the meejers.

As does my friend. He agrees with your friend's comments and would not be surprised to learn of his return with even more nearly working cars following his absence

[CanAm]

It seems that this thread has lost its drivin’ wheel - not a single post since the day BV handed back his keys.

I was just having a peek to remind myself of the good old days and was reminded of this:-

The Brummie said:

My friend is not allowed too buy any Lego due to his better half finding his recently purchased Bugatti Chiron.

This morning, whilst my friend was at work, a delivery arrived from Lego.....

Said delivery was arranged for Monday. DPD are crap!!!

My friends better half was extremely pissed off when she called him to ask what was in the box.

She was even more pissed off when he got home & had to open the box in front of his other half to reveal not one but two large & expensive Lego kits.

My friend is currently hiding in the kitchen to escape the wrath, anger & torrent of abuse & foul language from his other half.

My friend’s O/H is generally not too critical of his online purchases, but on the odd occasion that discretion is required, he finds that Amazon (and others) will deliver to specific pick-up points where parcels can be collected at your convenience. There is an Amazon Hub Locker at a local filling station where parcels can be collected 24/7, without even having to enter the premises.

[Chubbyross]

CanAm said:

It seems that this thread has lost its drivin’ wheel - not a single post since the day BV handed back his keys.

I was just having a peek to remind myself of the good old days and was reminded of this:-

The Brummie said:

My friend is not allowed too buy any Lego due to his better half finding his recently purchased Bugatti Chiron.

This morning, whilst my friend was at work, a delivery arrived from Lego.....

Said delivery was arranged for Monday. DPD are crap!!!

My friends better half was extremely pissed off when she called him to ask what was in the box.

She was even more pissed off when he got home & had to open the box in front of his other half to reveal not one but two large & expensive Lego kits.

My friend is currently hiding in the kitchen to escape the wrath, anger & torrent of abuse & foul language from his other half.

My friend’s O/H is generally not too critical of his online purchases, but on the odd occasion that discretion is required, he finds that Amazon (and others) will deliver to specific pick-up points where parcels can be collected at your convenience. There is an Amazon Hub Locker at a local filling station where parcels can be collected 24/7, without even having to enter the premises.

Your friend might want to check this out in order to save his relationship:

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Brickdiction-Seven-Recove...

[Daveb257]

My friend thinks the book would be a bad think as it’s public openness about the problem and at the moment would probably be thrown at him for spending his own hard earned cash

[CanAm]

Chubbyross said:

CanAm said:

It seems that this thread has lost its drivin’ wheel - not a single post since the day BV handed back his keys.

I was just having a peek to remind myself of the good old days and was reminded of this:-

The Brummie said:

My friend is not allowed too buy any Lego due to his better half finding his recently purchased Bugatti Chiron.

This morning, whilst my friend was at work, a delivery arrived from Lego.....

Said delivery was arranged for Monday. DPD are crap!!!

My friends better half was extremely pissed off when she called him to ask what was in the box.

She was even more pissed off when he got home & had to open the box in front of his other half to reveal not one but two large & expensive Lego kits.

My friend is currently hiding in the kitchen to escape the wrath, anger & torrent of abuse & foul language from his other half.

My friend’s O/H is generally not too critical of his online purchases, but on the odd occasion that discretion is required, he finds that Amazon (and others) will deliver to specific pick-up points where parcels can be collected at your convenience. There is an Amazon Hub Locker at a local filling station where parcels can be collected 24/7, without even having to enter the premises.

Your friend might want to check this out in order to save his relationship:

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Brickdiction-Seven-Recove...

Luckily my friend does not have a Lego 'habit'. However a friend of his does; he had a serious stroke over 10 years ago and uses expensive Lego as fine motor skills therapy. Therefore his wife has no reason to reprimand him for his expensive purchases.

[Super Sonic]

My friend used to drive the company's delivery van. After putting petrol in ( a diesel van) the boss had to hire a van. My friends making a delivery to London. He's driven into the wrong estate, and driving over a bumb, the back door swings open unbeknownst to him. He's doing a 3pt turn w back door sticking out, in a water board car park w waterboard escort vans neatly reverse parked against wall( bonnets sticking out) he reverses towards vans using side mirrors. Hire van has bulkhead,so no interior mirror. Front of escort van's grill is low enough to clear bottom of open door, bot halfway op bonnet, bottom corner of door hits and scrapes a gouge. He drives off before anyone notices!
Driving his MK1 Camry, big wide car, lights fag w the lighter in the dash. As he's fumbling the lighter back into the hole he's distracted. Takes eyes off road briefly fails to notice tiny parked Fiat. Hits rear corner, completely destroyed Fiat's os tail lights,knocking Fiat onto pavement.
In his 89 civic,taking his 9yo daughter back to her mum's, he hasn't checked her seat belt. He hoons big empty roundabout,50, comes off roundabout to find daughter sitting in his lap
Also in his 89 civic, being tailgated at silly speeds by an old MK1 3 series, he comes off a roundabout to see a seagul in the road. He realises to late the seagull's not getting airborne,can't stop cos tailgated. BMW backs of when the front of his car gets sprayed w bloody feathers. He's now vegetarian!
He has calmed down lately, although he did almost run his atr up a grassy embankment trying to outrun a boxter on our local clifftop wiggly road!