Tips to make my car look newer
Discussion
Matt UK said:
On the motorway place a brick on the accelerator - bingo, you have cruise control.
That's a plan. It used to have cruise control but if you press the '-' bit of the button all the warning lights come on and to fix it I have to pull over, switch off, wait 10 mins and start again. On the other hand if I press '+' all is good. A defence against speeding on the m/way? Trouble is (see earlier post) it tops out at 80 so limited scope here.Fit a dummy exhaust pipe with a fan in it so that your emissions (if tested) are fresh air.
Then, stuff your real exhaust pipe with asbestos fibres, anthrax spores, fill the fuel tank with uranium-enriched leaded diesel so your emissions are similarly polluting to a more modern VAG.
Hey presto, your very own dieselgate.
For bonus points, whinge to everybody that you want compensation for knowingly buying a cancer-belching turd.
Then, stuff your real exhaust pipe with asbestos fibres, anthrax spores, fill the fuel tank with uranium-enriched leaded diesel so your emissions are similarly polluting to a more modern VAG.
Hey presto, your very own dieselgate.
For bonus points, whinge to everybody that you want compensation for knowingly buying a cancer-belching turd.
Turn your headlights on every time you go under a line of trees = auto headlights.
Pay someone to hide in the car to raise and lower the windows when you lock and unlock the car = global closing.
Stick some of those cheap under cabinet lights to the bottom of the doors = puddle lights.
Always park on a hill. Release the handbrake and don't start the engine = hybrid.
Pay someone to hide in the car to raise and lower the windows when you lock and unlock the car = global closing.
Stick some of those cheap under cabinet lights to the bottom of the doors = puddle lights.
Always park on a hill. Release the handbrake and don't start the engine = hybrid.
Tips to make my car look newer.
Number 327
Create a faux PCP agreement on your computer which shows a deceptively cheap monthly payment and a balloon which leaves you in £15,000 of negative equity. Print if off and show your friends. They will automatically think you drive a new Mercedes.
Number 328
Start a thread on Piston Heads about PCP and tell everyone about it.
Number 327
Create a faux PCP agreement on your computer which shows a deceptively cheap monthly payment and a balloon which leaves you in £15,000 of negative equity. Print if off and show your friends. They will automatically think you drive a new Mercedes.
Number 328
Start a thread on Piston Heads about PCP and tell everyone about it.
Run a for sale sign oft tinternet, and stick one in each window something like,
2015 FFRR Discovery Evoque Overfinch 5.0 V8 Twin Turbo
Private Plate Included
One careful lady owner
Full leather interior, wrapped but can be removed
Fully loaded,
Delivery miles only miles with full Main Dealer service history
ABS, ESP, TC,Lane Deviation Warning, Distronic,Airmatic ABC, SBC, EFG, Bluetooth, passive/aggressive accident avoidance operating system* blah blah blah, heated this, heated that, 2/4 wheel drive, automatic tiptronic 10 speed DSG box
£59995 Finance options available, cash buyers, must own own house Part Ex possible
2015 FFRR Discovery Evoque Overfinch 5.0 V8 Twin Turbo
Private Plate Included
One careful lady owner
Full leather interior, wrapped but can be removed
Fully loaded,
Delivery miles only miles with full Main Dealer service history
ABS, ESP, TC,Lane Deviation Warning, Distronic,Airmatic ABC, SBC, EFG, Bluetooth, passive/aggressive accident avoidance operating system* blah blah blah, heated this, heated that, 2/4 wheel drive, automatic tiptronic 10 speed DSG box
£59995 Finance options available, cash buyers, must own own house Part Ex possible
- Steering wheel
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