What has your "friend" been up to?
Discussion
PorkRind said:
A friend went to uni, did a year in industry. Smoked too much weed, became anxious.. Came home from his year in industry, didnt go back to do his finals for a year. Went back and did his final year. Failed it. Borrowed about £22k from the SLC and didnt complete his degree. 'Worked' for his parents company for free for 5-6 years because he was too anxious to get a real job. Eventually sorted out his 'anxiety' and started to work for himself as a freelance web developer. Didnt pay any tax(his fathers an accountant) and got a massive tax bill and was surprised, blamed the govt for not making it easy / clear enough if you have to pay tax. Wants to move out, talks about it all the time saves some money and then has another monetry issue so goes back to having £0. Wont come out because he's panic'd that all his money has gone and has to 'work' to get in a better situation when in reality all he does is watch youtube and jerk off. Will be living with parents until their death and then inherit the house, wonder why bailiffs take it off him when no bills get paid. End up homeless !
This is a horrendously frank admission. 
My "friend" has had a few moments
He owned a swift GTI which failed its MOT so parked it up for a year and never got it sorted.
Decide to scrap it but keys lost so how hard can it be to hot wire a car and break the steering lock.
Big pole through steering wheel 2 boys and snap column sheers just below where the wheel bolts to it.
Removing steering lock hot wire it and he drove it 25 miles to the scrappies with 2 sets of mole grips onto the steering column, no tax, no mot, no insurance
My friend also bought a £1k run about from the next town 4 miles decides it will be okay to drive home with no insurance.
It's 4 miles what's going to happen!
Well other than him being used to driving and impreza that went round corners fine.
Turns out a 306 doesn't turn quite as well.
Last corners over steers and then over corrects and it's snap back and wraps the car around a tree!
Also on a beach in Ireland doing handbrake turns and rips tyre off the wheel.
No problem just fit the spare!
Jack car up and remove wheel nuts but wheel won't come off.
He decides to kick the wheel and the whole cars rocks and falls over trapping our only jack under the car.
Even worse as the car falls the stuck wheel comes off catches on the wheel arch and creases the wheel rear quarter.
He had to walk 3 miles to a house and a nice lady drove down and helped change it
He also went to a rural local round about the settle an argument his impreza could do 60 around it.
Turns out it can't and he spins 180 and while driving the wrong way around the roundabout to the previous exit to turn around he meets a fully marked up panda car.
He can't decide what to do so floors it out the next exit followed shortly afterwards by a police.
He seemingly kept his foot to the floor till he couldn't see and light then turned down a side road and abandoned the Saudi impreza and walked home. He went back the next day and picked it up and never heard anything from the plod
He owned a swift GTI which failed its MOT so parked it up for a year and never got it sorted.
Decide to scrap it but keys lost so how hard can it be to hot wire a car and break the steering lock.
Big pole through steering wheel 2 boys and snap column sheers just below where the wheel bolts to it.
Removing steering lock hot wire it and he drove it 25 miles to the scrappies with 2 sets of mole grips onto the steering column, no tax, no mot, no insurance
My friend also bought a £1k run about from the next town 4 miles decides it will be okay to drive home with no insurance.
It's 4 miles what's going to happen!
Well other than him being used to driving and impreza that went round corners fine.
Turns out a 306 doesn't turn quite as well.
Last corners over steers and then over corrects and it's snap back and wraps the car around a tree!
Also on a beach in Ireland doing handbrake turns and rips tyre off the wheel.
No problem just fit the spare!
Jack car up and remove wheel nuts but wheel won't come off.
He decides to kick the wheel and the whole cars rocks and falls over trapping our only jack under the car.
Even worse as the car falls the stuck wheel comes off catches on the wheel arch and creases the wheel rear quarter.
He had to walk 3 miles to a house and a nice lady drove down and helped change it
He also went to a rural local round about the settle an argument his impreza could do 60 around it.
Turns out it can't and he spins 180 and while driving the wrong way around the roundabout to the previous exit to turn around he meets a fully marked up panda car.
He can't decide what to do so floors it out the next exit followed shortly afterwards by a police.
He seemingly kept his foot to the floor till he couldn't see and light then turned down a side road and abandoned the Saudi impreza and walked home. He went back the next day and picked it up and never heard anything from the plod
Back in the mid 90s my friend decided to improve the interior of his 1967 Cal-look Beetle with some new carpet.
Rather than pay for a specially cut set, he thought he'd be able to do it himself using the left over carpet that had just been laid in his parents house. It didn't go to plan and looked horrific, both in execution and colour.
The same friend also stated that running a car over a watch wouldn't break the watch as a) watches are pretty compact inside and b) the tyres would give a little. he was so confident that at 4.35pm he demonstrated this to is disbelieving but encouraging mates. Later that evening someone asked for the time, my friend look at his watch and replied 'It's... 4.35 still'.
Rather than pay for a specially cut set, he thought he'd be able to do it himself using the left over carpet that had just been laid in his parents house. It didn't go to plan and looked horrific, both in execution and colour.
The same friend also stated that running a car over a watch wouldn't break the watch as a) watches are pretty compact inside and b) the tyres would give a little. he was so confident that at 4.35pm he demonstrated this to is disbelieving but encouraging mates. Later that evening someone asked for the time, my friend look at his watch and replied 'It's... 4.35 still'.
back in the 80's I was in my mates car on a sweeping downhill left hand bend on a dual carriageway doing the speed limit, when for some unknown reason my mate wanted to show me his keys/key fob. I had visions of the steering lock coming on and us ploughing into the central reservation but I managed to stop him ASAP to say he was/is not mechanically minded is an understatement.
That reminds me of the time my friend had a car with a bizarre fault, where the engine could not be turned off if the headlights were on. My friend decided to demonstrate this to his passenger by removing the keys whilst driving. "See, the engine is still running."
Unfortunately, without the keys, the steering lock engaged on the next bend.
My friend was/is an idiot.
Unfortunately, without the keys, the steering lock engaged on the next bend.
My friend was/is an idiot.
thats also reminded me of my friend (sister) who came into college looking for some help with a steering problem, she had spent an hour trying to turn the steering wheel and had even tried applying DW40 to the key, but the steering wheel still would not turn what ever she tried. Some helpful chap delicately explained the principles of a steering lock and off she went (very red faced)
familyguy1 said:
thats also reminded me of my friend (sister) who came into college looking for some help with a steering problem, she had spent an hour trying to turn the steering wheel and had even tried applying DW40 to the key, but the steering wheel still would not turn what ever she tried. Some helpful chap delicately explained the principles of a steering lock and off she went (very red faced)
My friends wife had him leave work and drive 20 miles to her as the new car's steering was "completely broken" and she was stranded at the petrol station for much the same reason.Vaud said:
familyguy1 said:
thats also reminded me of my friend (sister) who came into college looking for some help with a steering problem, she had spent an hour trying to turn the steering wheel and had even tried applying DW40 to the key, but the steering wheel still would not turn what ever she tried. Some helpful chap delicately explained the principles of a steering lock and off she went (very red faced)
My friends wife had him leave work and drive 20 miles to her as the new car's steering was "completely broken" and she was stranded at the petrol station for much the same reason.My friend, whilst on a promise managed to spin his car into a field. Said friend had the young lady in question in the car with him, and managed to get the recovery truck to drop him off with the young lady at her house and then drop his written off wreck onto his parents drive. Several hours later upon returning home, his mum went ballistic thinking the worst had happened.
My friend was going through a phase of trying to eat the hottest things he could.
He made the mistake of ordering a curry containing Naga chillis, ate the whole thing (with appropriate pain\sweating) and went to bed without thinking anything more about it.
Unfortunately on the way to work the next morning with a colleague (my friend lift-shares) about half way there my friend suddenly realised that the 'labour pains' he'd been suffering for the last ten minutes had developed to an unstoppable point.
As they were passing through a small South Devon village he had to burst out of the car and make a hurried, agonised shuffle into a local primary school playground and beg the teacher on duty to use their conveniences.
My friend still hasn't lived that one down.
He made the mistake of ordering a curry containing Naga chillis, ate the whole thing (with appropriate pain\sweating) and went to bed without thinking anything more about it.
Unfortunately on the way to work the next morning with a colleague (my friend lift-shares) about half way there my friend suddenly realised that the 'labour pains' he'd been suffering for the last ten minutes had developed to an unstoppable point.
As they were passing through a small South Devon village he had to burst out of the car and make a hurried, agonised shuffle into a local primary school playground and beg the teacher on duty to use their conveniences.
My friend still hasn't lived that one down.
familyguy1 said:
back in the 80's I was in my mates car on a sweeping downhill left hand bend on a dual carriageway doing the speed limit, when for some unknown reason my mate wanted to show me his keys/key fob. I had visions of the steering lock coming on and us ploughing into the central reservation but I managed to stop him ASAP to say he was/is not mechanically minded is an understatement.
My friend owned a 1991 Mazda 626 while in foreign climes, and the ignition was that worn not only was he able to remove the key and leave the engine running, but also that it would fall out of its own accord when not on the smooth tarmac roads. Which, my friend tells me, was an inconvenience when he had to rummage around under the drivers seat to find said key at his destination. The doors locks were of a similar state of affairs, so much so that he had all his laptop, camera, hard-drive etc stolen from the car. But the less said about that the better, it cost him a lot of money.
Quite a few (although not all) of the stories on this page appear to be about people's friends. I again politely remind Hon Members that they are only supposed to post stories about their friends, and are not supposed to post stories about their friends. I hope that has cleared that one up, er, again.
Many years ago my friend bought an absolutely mint E21 323i for a bargain price of £950, they usually went for three times that much back then but owner wanted to get rid asap. The 323i was my friends absolute pride and joy but then he was suddenly sent overseas at short notice for four months but wasn't bothered as it was insured, taxed and MOT'd. Well, it was taxed but it promptly ran out four weeks after my friend disappeared and he only realised when stuck in the a
hole of nowhere and there was bugger all he could do about it. Predictably, the DVLA removed it as it was untaxed (other residents thought it had been abandoned and reported it) and turned it into a cube. Understandably, my friend has never been the same since.
hole of nowhere and there was bugger all he could do about it. Predictably, the DVLA removed it as it was untaxed (other residents thought it had been abandoned and reported it) and turned it into a cube. Understandably, my friend has never been the same since.Gassing Station | General Gassing | Top of Page | What's New | My Stuff