Moving into the 21st century...
Discussion
So there I was, at work. With my prehistoric mobile phone (Nokia 5110?). Handful of memories, built like a brick privy, battery life measured against very short-lived things. BUT... ideal for a clumsy oaf like me, and great in the handsfree mount cos you can poke buttons at arms length with ease, unlike the modern things which require Hands Like A Paedophile (tm) to operate.
Anyway, the 5110 had developed an assortment of maladies (mostly from being dropped off ladders, kicked into puddles, dosed with radiation, nothing serious) and was starting to irk me slightly by turning itself off whenever there was a client on the line, or if my service manager wanted me to go somewhere unpronounceable in Wales (or Kinloss, which may be pronounceable but is so far off a beaten track that I'd be certain to bump into Crocodile McTavish).
He Whose Arse Must Be Licked proffered the derisory company handout: a 'pre-loved' Nokia 7210, replete of ringtone and resplendant in mock-walnut cover (Why? Who the hell thought phones should look like they were made of wood? This isn't the dark ages you know).
Of course it would fit the existing handsfree mount so no further expense needed.
I gibbered and grumbled, something along the lines of "11 years service, you'd think I'd get my own bloody phone" (the 5110 was a reject from two other field engineers, in the days when I was confined to a dark corner of the workshop, a lead codpiece my only defence against the spunk-nobbling rays).
So, eyes were well and truly
, and off I went to fiddle some more figures on precision instrument certificates, but I digress.
Next thing, him-big-boss-feller come and him saying: to office coming, nowishly.
So I bimbled up the red carpet and prostrated myself, which is to say I stuck one finger up my arse and fiddled around - but I'm digressing again.
Anyway, the chief rummages in his filing cabinet of goodies and produces another dusty relic of a forgotten telephonic era: a Nokia 9210 Communicator.
I dislocated my shoulder as I took receipt of the weighty appliance, and once my signature of receipt was drying on the corporate-logo'ed parchment, and my house deeds deposited as security, I was able to retreat without, with a grovelling gait that would, I venture to suggest, have pleased Derestrictor
no end.
Once back in the safety of my office, with all the Radiation lights flashing to keep away the curious, I was able to examine the spoils.
Now if you're a techno-buffoon like me, a phone nees a few simple buttons, a battery and a display of some sort.
This thing has more of everything and some besides, and I ended up having to download the user manual just to be able to play Snake on it. It has almost-useable keys, unlike my 3330 which needs a medical robot's precision to make sure you don't accidentally get some geezer on night-shift out of bed, as I did not so long ago
Now I've just about got to grips with it (needless to say there's no internet functionality as the account is defunct: anybody got any recommendations how I might go about it, bearing in mind I'd need some kind of dialup account somewhere?) and have started ransacking Ebay for add-ons (the boss is notorious for losing all accessories for any piece of equipment, so no point in even asking, although I did
).
I'm staggered at the battery life: it's been in a drawer for a year, uncharged. I gave it half an hour last night and it's only lost one bar, and that was after 30 mins talking to me Julie with all the displays lit up, handsfree speaker going, the full bit!
My 3330 noshes a full charge like Gillian Taylforth on speed.
Just need to find a handsfree for it at a price worth paying, and your uncle Bob's your auntie's fanny.
The only problem I have come across is that it appears to be missing the means to change the bloody ringtone. I know it's in Profiles, but when I click and try to alter any profile, it tells me 'Item not found'.
So I suspect that the chief has had a little finger trouble and just kept shtum, so now it's stuck playing the bloddy Nokia Choon.... bosses, eh; don't you love 'em...
Anyway, roll on a Nirvanic communicative experience in the Wedg1e-mobile...
Ian
Anyway, the 5110 had developed an assortment of maladies (mostly from being dropped off ladders, kicked into puddles, dosed with radiation, nothing serious) and was starting to irk me slightly by turning itself off whenever there was a client on the line, or if my service manager wanted me to go somewhere unpronounceable in Wales (or Kinloss, which may be pronounceable but is so far off a beaten track that I'd be certain to bump into Crocodile McTavish).
He Whose Arse Must Be Licked proffered the derisory company handout: a 'pre-loved' Nokia 7210, replete of ringtone and resplendant in mock-walnut cover (Why? Who the hell thought phones should look like they were made of wood? This isn't the dark ages you know).
Of course it would fit the existing handsfree mount so no further expense needed.
I gibbered and grumbled, something along the lines of "11 years service, you'd think I'd get my own bloody phone" (the 5110 was a reject from two other field engineers, in the days when I was confined to a dark corner of the workshop, a lead codpiece my only defence against the spunk-nobbling rays).
So, eyes were well and truly
, and off I went to fiddle some more figures on precision instrument certificates, but I digress. Next thing, him-big-boss-feller come and him saying: to office coming, nowishly.
So I bimbled up the red carpet and prostrated myself, which is to say I stuck one finger up my arse and fiddled around - but I'm digressing again.
Anyway, the chief rummages in his filing cabinet of goodies and produces another dusty relic of a forgotten telephonic era: a Nokia 9210 Communicator.
I dislocated my shoulder as I took receipt of the weighty appliance, and once my signature of receipt was drying on the corporate-logo'ed parchment, and my house deeds deposited as security, I was able to retreat without, with a grovelling gait that would, I venture to suggest, have pleased Derestrictor
no end. Once back in the safety of my office, with all the Radiation lights flashing to keep away the curious, I was able to examine the spoils.
Now if you're a techno-buffoon like me, a phone nees a few simple buttons, a battery and a display of some sort.
This thing has more of everything and some besides, and I ended up having to download the user manual just to be able to play Snake on it. It has almost-useable keys, unlike my 3330 which needs a medical robot's precision to make sure you don't accidentally get some geezer on night-shift out of bed, as I did not so long ago
Now I've just about got to grips with it (needless to say there's no internet functionality as the account is defunct: anybody got any recommendations how I might go about it, bearing in mind I'd need some kind of dialup account somewhere?) and have started ransacking Ebay for add-ons (the boss is notorious for losing all accessories for any piece of equipment, so no point in even asking, although I did
). I'm staggered at the battery life: it's been in a drawer for a year, uncharged. I gave it half an hour last night and it's only lost one bar, and that was after 30 mins talking to me Julie with all the displays lit up, handsfree speaker going, the full bit!
My 3330 noshes a full charge like Gillian Taylforth on speed.
Just need to find a handsfree for it at a price worth paying, and your uncle Bob's your auntie's fanny.
The only problem I have come across is that it appears to be missing the means to change the bloody ringtone. I know it's in Profiles, but when I click and try to alter any profile, it tells me 'Item not found'.
So I suspect that the chief has had a little finger trouble and just kept shtum, so now it's stuck playing the bloddy Nokia Choon.... bosses, eh; don't you love 'em...
Anyway, roll on a Nirvanic communicative experience in the Wedg1e-mobile...
Ian
wedg1e said:
So there I was, at work. With my prehistoric mobile phone (Nokia 5110?). Handful of memories, built like a brick privy, battery life measured against very short-lived things. BUT... ideal for a clumsy oaf like me, and great in the handsfree mount cos you can poke buttons at arms length with ease, unlike the modern things which require Hands Like A Paedophile (tm) to operate.
PMSL!!!
wedg1e said:
Anyway, the 5110 had developed an assortment of maladies (mostly from being dropped off ladders, kicked into puddles, dosed with radiation, nothing serious) and was starting to irk me slightly by turning itself off whenever there was a client on the line, or if my service manager wanted me to go somewhere unpronounceable..... in Wales (or Kinloss, which may be pronounceable but is so far off a beaten track that I'd be certain to bump into Crocodile McTavish). ......
More PMSL!!
wedg1e said:
He Whose Arse Must Be Licked proffered the derisory company handout: a 'pre-loved' Nokia 7210, replete of ringtone and resplendant in mock-walnut cover (Why? Who the hell thought phones should look like they were made of wood? This isn't the dark ages you know).
Of course it would fit the existing handsfree mount so no further expense needed.
I gibbered and grumbled, something along the lines of "11 years service, you'd think I'd get my own bloody phone" (the 5110 was a reject from two other field engineers, in the days when I was confined to a dark corner of the workshop, a lead codpiece my only defence against the spunk-nobbling rays).
And again!!!
wedg1e said:
So, eyes were well and truly
Next thing, him-big-boss-feller come and him saying: to office coming, nowishly.
So I bimbled up the red carpet and prostrated myself, which is to say I stuck one finger up my arse and fiddled around - but I'm digressing again.
Anyway, the chief rummages in his filing cabinet of goodies and produces another dusty relic of a forgotten telephonic era: a Nokia 9210 Communicator.
I dislocated my shoulder as I took receipt of the weighty appliance, and once my signature of receipt was drying on the corporate-logo'ed parchment, and my house deeds deposited as security, I was able to retreat without, with a grovelling gait that would, I venture to suggest, have pleased Derestrictor
Once back in the safety of my office, with all the Radiation lights flashing to keep away the curious, I was able to examine the spoils.
Now if you're a techno-buffoon like me, a phone nees a few simple buttons, a battery and a display of some sort.
This thing has more of everything and some besides, and I ended up having to download the user manual just to be able to play Snake on it. It has almost-useable keys, unlike my 3330 which needs a medical robot's precision to make sure you don't accidentally get some geezer on night-shift out of bed, as I did not so long ago
Now I've just about got to grips with it (needless to say there's no internet functionality as the account is defunct: anybody got any recommendations how I might go about it, bearing in mind I'd need some kind of dialup account somewhere?) and have started ransacking Ebay for add-ons (the boss is notorious for losing all accessories for any piece of equipment, so no point in even asking, although I did
I'm staggered at the battery life: it's been in a drawer for a year, uncharged. I gave it half an hour last night and it's only lost one bar, and that was after 30 mins talking to me Julie with all the displays lit up, handsfree speaker going, the full bit!
My 3330 noshes a full charge like Gillian Taylforth on speed.
Just need to find a handsfree for it at a price worth paying, and your uncle Bob's your auntie's fanny.
The only problem I have come across is that it appears to be missing the means to change the bloody ringtone. I know it's in Profiles, but when I click and try to alter any profile, it tells me 'Item not found'.
So I suspect that the chief has had a little finger trouble and just kept shtum, so now it's stuck playing the bloddy Nokia Choon.... bosses, eh; don't you love 'em...
Anyway, roll on a Nirvanic communicative experience in the Wedg1e-mobile...
Ian
ROTFLMAO!!!
Tear producing, face hurting laughter!!!
Good thing I am here alone!!
The Erudite One should be proud!
Dave
>> Edited by just dave on Wednesday 1st December 02:07
superb piece of writing that deserves another airing 
So.... you know my boss then? 
[quote]Just need to find a handsfree for it at a price worth paying, and your uncle Bob's your auntie's fanny [/quote]
It just so happens that I may have solved your aunties fannies uncle bob.
Took mine out which has been used the total of about five times before I lost my communicator in a bar in Brussels but that's a different story.. It's all there - if you're interested drop me a line before it goes on eblag.
It just so happens that I may have solved your aunties fannies uncle bob.
Took mine out which has been used the total of about five times before I lost my communicator in a bar in Brussels but that's a different story.. It's all there - if you're interested drop me a line before it goes on eblag.
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