Free parking space up for grabs
Discussion
My neighbour is a pitiful little tw4t with the worst case of Napoleon syndrome I've ever encountered. I won't bore you with all the details, but one of his regular tricks is thus:
He has a 2-car drive, with 2 cars on it in tandem. One car is a newish Peugeot, the other an old Fiesta. He's the only person in the household who can drive, consequently the Fiesta never goes out.
He has a problem if anyone parks on the street outside his house (which they're perfectly, legally entitled to do), and has kicked off at various people over the years for doing so. If someone does have the temerity to park in "his" space, he'll go out to his car, pretend that he can't exit the driveway (when he patently can) and sound his horn until the car owner responds and moves it. He'll then drive to the top of the road and back again, park, and go back indoors.
In order to counter the possibility of this happening, he regularly parks his car on the street outside his house. He'll get up in the morning, move the car, and leave it there until late, when he moves it back to the drive (about 15ft) overnight. So what, no problem.
He developed the theme over the years and took to moving his car within a minute or two of Mrs C (who parks outside OUR house) going out. He positions his car such as to make it as difficult as possible for her to park when she returns (leaves a small remaining gap, etc). I used to have CCTV at the front and once caught him on that, years ago, going out and actually moving his car about 2 ft further across our garden within a minute of MrsC driving away. Only this weekend, she observed him moving his car outside, getting out, checking how big the gap was between her car and his, and moving it closer & closer. He carries a healthy dose of OCD alongside his small man's disease.
Recently, I bought a Ranger, and have been parking it at the bottom of our road where there are a few free spaces. So today, his latest trick, after I went out, was to park his eurobox where my truck had stood. When I came back, and found somewhere else to park, he moved his car back outside his house.
Now, none of this bothers me TOO much; I confess to the occasional fit of annoyance, but mostly I can ignore his obvious "issues". However, a small plan sprang to mind.
Does anyone have a taxed, tested and insured rotbox which they need to park somewhere? The tattier the better. If you do, PM me for the address of a spare parking space in mid Kent which is all yours, and I'll also cover your petrol to bring it here and give you a lift home. Might even chuck in a few tinnies!
Failing that, and the obvious euthanasia option, does anyone else have any clever/witty suggestions for how to stick one up him?
He has a 2-car drive, with 2 cars on it in tandem. One car is a newish Peugeot, the other an old Fiesta. He's the only person in the household who can drive, consequently the Fiesta never goes out.
He has a problem if anyone parks on the street outside his house (which they're perfectly, legally entitled to do), and has kicked off at various people over the years for doing so. If someone does have the temerity to park in "his" space, he'll go out to his car, pretend that he can't exit the driveway (when he patently can) and sound his horn until the car owner responds and moves it. He'll then drive to the top of the road and back again, park, and go back indoors.
In order to counter the possibility of this happening, he regularly parks his car on the street outside his house. He'll get up in the morning, move the car, and leave it there until late, when he moves it back to the drive (about 15ft) overnight. So what, no problem.
He developed the theme over the years and took to moving his car within a minute or two of Mrs C (who parks outside OUR house) going out. He positions his car such as to make it as difficult as possible for her to park when she returns (leaves a small remaining gap, etc). I used to have CCTV at the front and once caught him on that, years ago, going out and actually moving his car about 2 ft further across our garden within a minute of MrsC driving away. Only this weekend, she observed him moving his car outside, getting out, checking how big the gap was between her car and his, and moving it closer & closer. He carries a healthy dose of OCD alongside his small man's disease.
Recently, I bought a Ranger, and have been parking it at the bottom of our road where there are a few free spaces. So today, his latest trick, after I went out, was to park his eurobox where my truck had stood. When I came back, and found somewhere else to park, he moved his car back outside his house.
Now, none of this bothers me TOO much; I confess to the occasional fit of annoyance, but mostly I can ignore his obvious "issues". However, a small plan sprang to mind.
Does anyone have a taxed, tested and insured rotbox which they need to park somewhere? The tattier the better. If you do, PM me for the address of a spare parking space in mid Kent which is all yours, and I'll also cover your petrol to bring it here and give you a lift home. Might even chuck in a few tinnies!
Failing that, and the obvious euthanasia option, does anyone else have any clever/witty suggestions for how to stick one up him?
This sort of thread is why I love PH.
It's got to be subtle. And visible to you.
So. Buy a PAYG mobile which isn't traceable to you. Then whenever he comes out to mess with the car, ring his house. He won't be able to resist answering it (OCD) and so he'll run to the phone. Just before he gets to answer it, hang up.
Repeat.
I did this to a colleague for seven years whenever he walked towards my office. He never knew who it was.
It's got to be subtle. And visible to you.
So. Buy a PAYG mobile which isn't traceable to you. Then whenever he comes out to mess with the car, ring his house. He won't be able to resist answering it (OCD) and so he'll run to the phone. Just before he gets to answer it, hang up.
Repeat.
I did this to a colleague for seven years whenever he walked towards my office. He never knew who it was.
Soovy said:
This sort of thread is why I love PH.
It's got to be subtle. And visible to you.
So. Buy a PAYG mobile which isn't traceable to you. Then whenever he comes out to mess with the car, ring his house. He won't be able to resist answering it (OCD) and so he'll run to the phone. Just before he gets to answer it, hang up.
Repeat.
I did this to a colleague for seven years whenever he walked towards my office. He never knew who it was.
Excellent...It's got to be subtle. And visible to you.
So. Buy a PAYG mobile which isn't traceable to you. Then whenever he comes out to mess with the car, ring his house. He won't be able to resist answering it (OCD) and so he'll run to the phone. Just before he gets to answer it, hang up.
Repeat.
I did this to a colleague for seven years whenever he walked towards my office. He never knew who it was.
It won't need to be a lot to get the desired effect...Soovy said:
Part II
Whenever he drives off, immediately run onto his drive and pour a quantity of oil onto the concrete where his car was.
He won't be able to bear having a leaky car, so he'll spend hundreds at the dealers trying to get them to stop it.
Whenever he drives off, immediately run onto his drive and pour a quantity of oil onto the concrete where his car was.
He won't be able to bear having a leaky car, so he'll spend hundreds at the dealers trying to get them to stop it.
Genius.OP. Where are you? I feel the urge to go on a road trip, stop somewhere at random and rev my engine to trace an elusive ticking noise. I may also wish to photograph a house in suburbia. Any house. Doesn't have to be special. Can you sggest one?
Edited by Flintstone on Tuesday 31st August 16:34
E31Shrew said:
Soovy said:
This sort of thread is why I love PH.
It's got to be subtle. And visible to you.
So. Buy a PAYG mobile which isn't traceable to you. Then whenever he comes out to mess with the car, ring his house. He won't be able to resist answering it (OCD) and so he'll run to the phone. Just before he gets to answer it, hang up.
Repeat.
I did this to a colleague for seven years whenever he walked towards my office. He never knew who it was.
Excellent...It's got to be subtle. And visible to you.
So. Buy a PAYG mobile which isn't traceable to you. Then whenever he comes out to mess with the car, ring his house. He won't be able to resist answering it (OCD) and so he'll run to the phone. Just before he gets to answer it, hang up.
Repeat.
I did this to a colleague for seven years whenever he walked towards my office. He never knew who it was.
Get some mates with a white van.
Get them to dress in black clothes, and sit outside his house for three days taking obvious notes on a clipboard, and photographs with a long lens.
Soovy said:
[Part 3.
Get some mates with a white van.
Get them to dress in black clothes, and sit outside his house for three days taking obvious notes on a clipboard, and photographs with a long lens.
Part 4.Get some mates with a white van.
Get them to dress in black clothes, and sit outside his house for three days taking obvious notes on a clipboard, and photographs with a long lens.
Purchase house next door, let it get overgrown till a rat is observed. Park a sportscar on it for effect.
When he goes to check on said rat, piss in his kettle.
Whilst he is destracted with that, place CCTV cameras everywhere; the one on the shed should look into his garden. This is particularly useful if another neighbour is middle andged and fit.
Finally, send him an email.
I have done the oil trick myself and it worked a treat.
my ex neighbour used to continually brag about buying new cars and complain that my old bangers were health and safety risks. He once called the police as my £60 austin Montego in beige was parked outside my house, as the tax disc had fallen off onto the dash. I think he got a ticking off for wasting police time.
As I was trying to run a full season sprinting and hillclimbing, using cheap cars helped me save money. The last straw was the git writing a letter to all the other people in the street, saying that my living there was in effect lowering all the house prices!
A drop of old engine oil worked a treat, he called the AA, he took it to his dealer three or four times and just when he thought it stopped leaking, it did it again.
In the end I think he traded the car in. but thankfully I could then move to a much more car friendly place with a drive.
my ex neighbour used to continually brag about buying new cars and complain that my old bangers were health and safety risks. He once called the police as my £60 austin Montego in beige was parked outside my house, as the tax disc had fallen off onto the dash. I think he got a ticking off for wasting police time.
As I was trying to run a full season sprinting and hillclimbing, using cheap cars helped me save money. The last straw was the git writing a letter to all the other people in the street, saying that my living there was in effect lowering all the house prices!
A drop of old engine oil worked a treat, he called the AA, he took it to his dealer three or four times and just when he thought it stopped leaking, it did it again.
In the end I think he traded the car in. but thankfully I could then move to a much more car friendly place with a drive.
Soovy said:
This sort of thread is why I love PH.
It's got to be subtle. And visible to you.
So. Buy a PAYG mobile which isn't traceable to you. Then whenever he comes out to mess with the car, ring his house. He won't be able to resist answering it (OCD) and so he'll run to the phone. Just before he gets to answer it, hang up.
Repeat.
I did this to a colleague for seven years whenever he walked towards my office. He never knew who it was.
Soovy!It's got to be subtle. And visible to you.
So. Buy a PAYG mobile which isn't traceable to you. Then whenever he comes out to mess with the car, ring his house. He won't be able to resist answering it (OCD) and so he'll run to the phone. Just before he gets to answer it, hang up.
Repeat.
I did this to a colleague for seven years whenever he walked towards my office. He never knew who it was.
t, obviously do all you can to piss him off, I would also knock on his door and let him know how pathetic he is..! Gassing Station | General Gassing | Top of Page | What's New | My Stuff