Thursday 6th December 2012

You Know You Want To: Alfa Romeo 33S 1.7i 16v P4

Is one of Alfa's lesser-known hot hatch creations worth a punt over the more obvious choices?

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It's fair to say that the 33 was not one of Alfa Romeo’s best-loved models. It was born to an expectant world of enthusiasts and journos who'd fallen in love with its predecessor, the Alfasud, for its lively driving experience – but it failed to live up to expectations. Actually, that's high praise, to be honest; in truth, the critics lambasted it.

Boxy lines are a bit Marmite, but black suits them

First, its choice of 1.2-, 1.3- or 1.5-litre engines didn't provide enough get-up-and-go to provide any real driving thrills. So Alfa released a new, 1.7-litre version. Problem solved, right? Nope. The new engine was great, but it only served to show up another of the 33's faults: heavy, recalcitrant steering that fed back excessive amounts of torque steer. Alfa went back to the drawing board again, revising the system and adding power steering. So, all sorted now, surely? Well, not exactly – the torque steer woes were reduced, but not eliminated, and the 33 still suffered from poor grip, making any sort of exuberant driving antics distinctly unrewarding.

Alfa's final recourse was to four-wheel-drive. On paper, the result looked tantalising. The 1.7-litre engine – now with a 16v head – pushed out a credible 137bhp, putting it on a par with the Golf GTi 16v and Escort RS Turbo. And while the four-wheel-drive system added weight, it also gave better traction out of the corners, making for an enjoyable driving experience. Well, that was the theory, anyway.

Full body resto means rust is less of an issue

In practise, the four-wheel-drive system didn't actually offer a huge amount of extra traction, meaning that the 33 Permanent 4 still ran out of grip but it did at least sort out the 33's torque steer issues, allowing the driver to exploit the full performance of the boxer engine without worrying about the steering wheel flapping about in his hands. The result was a car which was flawed, but with its warbly engine note and crisp-cornered styling, just as characterful as you'd expect any Alfa to be.

Today, the 33 is certainly an interesting choice for the braver retro hot hatchers among us. It'll never best a Peugeot or VW GTI in the handling stakes, but it should still be an enjoyable thing to sling around, and does have an undeniable charm, especially in a form as rare as this one. It's probably one of the nicest out there, too, having been taken off the road for six years and restored from head to toe. The owner claims there's no rust, as a result, and as that’s going to be one of the main killers of Italian cars of this age, that’s a definite plus point.

Interior looks to be in decent nick

So, would we? Well, quite possibly. There are, of course, the potential transmission issues that an old four-wheel-drive system might throw up. In fact, it’s already showing signs that its gearbox that might throw its toys out in the not-too-dim-and-distant future. Two spare gearboxes are included, which should hopefully solve that problem in the short term, but it also suggests that this might not be an issue which goes away quietly. And we haven’t even started on the traditional Alfa electrical woes which, although not evident now, are likely to crop up at some point during the next owner’s tenure.

All of that said, this is a cheap and interesting way into Alfa ownership for someone who’s looking for a bit of retro fun that’ll stand out from the crowd. Despite its shortcomings, it should provide plenty of entertainment for its next owner, and the price seems reasonable for a little slice of early '90s Italian chic that’ll soon be teetering on the edge of classic territory. So hang the reliability doubts, wave a wad at the owner, and revel in the joys of that classic boxer engine note. And when people wonder why you didn’t choose a Golf or a 205 instead, just turn to them with a look of mild disdain on your face, and tell them in an enigmatic tone that if they have to ask, they wouldn’t understand.

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ALFA ROMEO 33S  1.7I 16V PERMANENT 4
Price: £2200
Why you should: Sharply creased lines and boxer engine make for a proper Alfa and a characterful hot hatch
Why you shouldn’t: It was never as good as its rivals and there are plenty of things to go wrong.

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See the original advert here.

[Itsallicanafford]

..would love this just for the knowing nod you would get once a year from a fellow petrolhead.

[tomoleeds]

hideous, i cant think of many worse cars i would be seen in

[moskvich427]

Is that the Clarkson's 75 V6 from Top Gear I can see in the background of one of the pics??

[rtz62]

My view on this is similar to that opined by Capt Blackadder whenever Private Baldrick came up with a cunning plan;
"Oh god...."

[soad]

I assume, engine can be tuned to a 150-170bhp?
Was expecting this car to be much cheaper though.

[Twincam16]

moskvich427 said:

Is that the Clarkson's 75 V6 from Top Gear I can see in the background of one of the pics??

Yes. It belongs to a serial owner of the Alfa Romeo Owners Club. Its nickname is 'Minty' and it's been completely restored with the Clarkson paint scheme retained.

[V12 Migaloo]

moskvich427 said:

Is that the Clarkson's 75 V6 from Top Gear I can see in the background of one of the pics??

Well spotted, it certainly look like it!! The vendor is so obviously an Alfista with dire need of medical attention, one can only admire his bravery

[FerrousOxide]

An a past owner of a 33 Sportwagen (optimistic use of the word "sport" - or indeed "wagon") I always had a hankering after one of these. Mine was an 8-valve carb'ed 1.7 which was a lovely engine - same character but a bit more grunt than the 1.5 Sud I'd had before. It was also reliable, at least until it met its end and the hands of a tree/tractor combo.

Exposing my utter lack of mechanical knowledge, is there any way to convert one of these to RWD? Presumably there must be some sort of centre diff - weld it up and take out the front drive shafts? Or am I just an idiot?

[soad]

moskvich427 said:

Is that the Clarkson's 75 V6 from Top Gear I can see in the background of one of the pics??

Top Gear Alfa Romeo 75:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Bx-FYilS_M

[Strawman]

I've never driven one, sort of dissapointing if it doesn't handle better than a 16v Golf or 205. According to how many left there are only seven on the UK roads, so a pretty rare car
http://www.howmanyleft.co.uk/?utf8=%E2%9C%93&q...

[NAS]

I've driven a few 33s in the late 90s. Even the 1.3 was pretty decent. Good feelsome handling, nice sound and just fun to drive.

[Beanoir]

Alfa's answer to the Lancia HF turbo...or was it the other way around?

[Blanchie]

haha now that brings back memories, owned 2 33's in the mid 90's when I was 19, one 1.5 Green Cloverleaf and 1 1.5 Gold Cloverleaf used for parts, hideously unreliable and the electrics were best described as "part timers" but It was really fun until it rotted away.
Your still not a true petrol head until you've owned, loved and sworn at your Alfa....pure character

[Chris71]

soad said:

I assume, engine can be tuned to a 150-170bhp?
Was expecting this car to be much cheaper though.

I rather like the looks of the Alfa 33, but good ones are surprisingly pricey for what remains a flawed design.

A 145 Cloverleaf or 146 Ti, on the other hand, is positively sensible.

[carinaman]

Didn't one of these feature on a CAR Magazine front cover in 1993 along with a Sun, and a NSU Ro80 and Audi 100 C4 with the headline 'Where's the progress?'?

[Captain Muppet]

Blanchie said:

Your still not a true petrol head until you've owned, loved and sworn at your Alfa....pure character

In that case I don't want to be a "true petrolhead".

Although I am tempted by the 33. And an SZ, 75 or 80's GTV.

[Uncle John]

Had a 1.5Ti and a Sport Wagon 16v.

Both great fun cars. Actually preferred the carb fed 1.5 for noise and character, also worth noting the 16v engine was pretty special with cast inlet plenum and sodium exhaust valves.

The P4 was a rare car even back in the day, I think I only saw 2 on my travels.

I've peeked at this in the classifieds a few times and admire the condition but can't help thinking the rose tinted spectacles would be smashed pretty quickly in comparing to a modern drive, so for me best left in my memory bank.

[marcosgt]

I test drove one of these new in the early 90s (the FWD one, I'd never heard of a 4WD variant!).

It was a hateful thing.

Worst, though, was that the salesman told me it had "Manual ABS"... WTF? "Discs on the rear wheels".

What an idiot...

Often I think "No, I don't really want to", but in this case it's "No, I REALLY don't want to"!!!

M.

[Alex]

"It's fair to say that the 33 was not one of Alfa Romeo’s best-loved models."

Maybe not, but it's the biggest selling in Alfa's history.

[Alex]

Twincam16 said:

moskvich427 said:

Is that the Clarkson's 75 V6 from Top Gear I can see in the background of one of the pics??

Yes. It belongs to a serial owner of the Alfa Romeo Owners Club. Its nickname is 'Minty' and it's been completely restored with the Clarkson paint scheme retained.

If it's the same one, it's currently on show in the Top Gear expedition at Beaulieu.