Porsche pecking order......
Discussion
OK so having spent some time on here and now having had 4 Porsche’s (a Boxster S, 996 C2, 996 C4S & a 996 Turbo) I am going to comment on what I have heard/seen & picked up on. Disclaimer: this is not my opinion, just my interpretation of other people’s comments (mostly on here!) and it makes me laugh about the perceived pecking order within the porsche ranks.
If you have a......
Boxster – you are either gay or a hairdresser & have managed to get a Porsche badge (& keyring) without spending loads…..so you are poor. Oh & you can’t afford an S
Bosxter S – Drivers will tell you – trying to convince themselves – that its “the best real world Porsche….you don’t need any more performance” while secretly lusting after a 911 (which they can’t afford) A little less gay but not much.
Cayman S – Sorry - the Coxster or Gayman. Drivers consider themselves superior to Boxster drivers (for some reason) but without exception ALL Cayman drivers want to have 911’s, they just cannot afford them. 911 drivers look down their noses at them, 99% of joe public don’t know which model it is anyway.
993 Carrera / Turbo drivers – We spit on later “how dare they water cool them” 996/7 owners despite the cars being mechanically & technically far superior. Go on about how great they look compared to later 911’s then conveniently forget to mention the back breaking pedal arrangement or the interior that looks like it was styled in the 1930’s
996 Carrera C2 – older ones are cr4p, later ones are better, headlights suck the styling has gone south & the 993 was soooooo much better.
996 C4S – Turbo wannabee. You drive one because you can’t afford a Turbo.
996 Targa – driven by schizophrenics – what do they want, a cabriolet or a bloody coupe. Owners will tell you they get “the best of both worlds”
996 Turbo – You can’t drive as you need namby pamby 4WD. Car drives itself, no skill involved. Fack fast though.
996 GT2 – Respect….if you are not dead after owning one for 5 minutes. Anyone who drives one must have balls the size of melons (and live nowhere near speed ramps)
Any 996 Cabriolet – GAY GAY GAY, not a proper 911…proper 911’s have proper (ie metal) roofs.
997 C2 – Still looks like a Boxster – have they not learned that lesson. Drivers pisssed off because the focus is off them & now on the GT3 & Turbo.
997 C4S – doesn’t look much different to the C2, & heavier & slower, so why bother?
997 Turbo – Doesn’t look a lot different to a 996 TT…..but everyone just knows it will kick the ass of anything else on the road.
997 GT3 – Should I spec that sunroof, cruise control & cup holders…….
Any 997 Cab - GAY GAY GAY, not a proper 911…proper 911’s have proper (ie metal) roofs.
Carrera GT – Flash git with too much money.
Oh & for gods sack never under no circumstances ever ever ever get a Tiptronic – sorry slushmatic / gaytronic. Real men drive manuals. End of.
R.
If you have a......
Boxster – you are either gay or a hairdresser & have managed to get a Porsche badge (& keyring) without spending loads…..so you are poor. Oh & you can’t afford an S
Bosxter S – Drivers will tell you – trying to convince themselves – that its “the best real world Porsche….you don’t need any more performance” while secretly lusting after a 911 (which they can’t afford) A little less gay but not much.
Cayman S – Sorry - the Coxster or Gayman. Drivers consider themselves superior to Boxster drivers (for some reason) but without exception ALL Cayman drivers want to have 911’s, they just cannot afford them. 911 drivers look down their noses at them, 99% of joe public don’t know which model it is anyway.
993 Carrera / Turbo drivers – We spit on later “how dare they water cool them” 996/7 owners despite the cars being mechanically & technically far superior. Go on about how great they look compared to later 911’s then conveniently forget to mention the back breaking pedal arrangement or the interior that looks like it was styled in the 1930’s
996 Carrera C2 – older ones are cr4p, later ones are better, headlights suck the styling has gone south & the 993 was soooooo much better.
996 C4S – Turbo wannabee. You drive one because you can’t afford a Turbo.
996 Targa – driven by schizophrenics – what do they want, a cabriolet or a bloody coupe. Owners will tell you they get “the best of both worlds”
996 Turbo – You can’t drive as you need namby pamby 4WD. Car drives itself, no skill involved. Fack fast though.
996 GT2 – Respect….if you are not dead after owning one for 5 minutes. Anyone who drives one must have balls the size of melons (and live nowhere near speed ramps)
Any 996 Cabriolet – GAY GAY GAY, not a proper 911…proper 911’s have proper (ie metal) roofs.
997 C2 – Still looks like a Boxster – have they not learned that lesson. Drivers pisssed off because the focus is off them & now on the GT3 & Turbo.
997 C4S – doesn’t look much different to the C2, & heavier & slower, so why bother?
997 Turbo – Doesn’t look a lot different to a 996 TT…..but everyone just knows it will kick the ass of anything else on the road.
997 GT3 – Should I spec that sunroof, cruise control & cup holders…….
Any 997 Cab - GAY GAY GAY, not a proper 911…proper 911’s have proper (ie metal) roofs.
Carrera GT – Flash git with too much money.
Oh & for gods sack never under no circumstances ever ever ever get a Tiptronic – sorry slushmatic / gaytronic. Real men drive manuals. End of.
R.
Worthy of a separate thread? 
DoctorD said:
You've forgotten the comments of all those people who don't currently own a Porsche - wannabe Porsche drivers they just don't know it, or are in denial, usually found saying "..but don't they all look the same?"
Or wittering about the terrible engine layout utterly compromising the cars handling...
Perhaps we could have an Agony Aunt feature? A cross between The Sun's Ask Deirdre and Autocar's Ask Goodwin.
Dear Onkel Ferdinand,
I am a 29 year old pram designer for Mothercare and my hobbies include wearing hooded tops, collecting porcelain pigs and looking after my pet Labradoodle 'Wolfie'. I enjoy drinking pretentious foreign lagers and browsing eBay for bargains. Which Porsche do you think suits me?
Thanks
Penrod
PS I don't want to look like a hairdresser. Or a poof.
Dear Onkel Ferdinand,
I am a 29 year old pram designer for Mothercare and my hobbies include wearing hooded tops, collecting porcelain pigs and looking after my pet Labradoodle 'Wolfie'. I enjoy drinking pretentious foreign lagers and browsing eBay for bargains. Which Porsche do you think suits me?
Thanks
Penrod
PS I don't want to look like a hairdresser. Or a poof.
Nice one rumple - that did make me laugh...altho be careful the PC police don't pounce on you...I jokingly mentioned shooting a cat that regularly walked over my car in a recent thread - lead to a few people getting their undergarments in a twist...
Fighting the war on Error.
Atticus
>> Edited by atticus on Wednesday 22 February 11:23
Fighting the war on Error.
Atticus
>> Edited by atticus on Wednesday 22 February 11:23
Excellent summary!
I've long wanted a Porsche. After 25 years of enthusiastic BMW ownership I'd thought I was ready for something different. I've recently been avidly reading as much as I can to try to bring myself up to speed on matters '911'.
My first hurdle, as a 'Johnny-come-lately', seemed to be to decide just which model to go for within a budget of circa £30K. Once this was established I thought I'd then be able to focus on trying to find a good example of the chosen model.Front-runners had become 996 C2/C4...but then without any Porsche history or loyalty behind me I'd probably be regarded as Philistine! Then I read the long threads here about all the catatrophic engine failures,legal wrangles etc
So, I'm consistently falling - even at this first hurdle! My reading here on PH and in Porsche Mags leaves me despondent at every turn. Seems lots of people have lots of negativity, in some form or other, about every single model that might be within my budget?
I don't have such vast funds to spend that I can afford £70K for a secondhand car but was hopeful that by culling some of my BMW collection and adding some of my hard-earned I might be able to get something halfway 'desirable' in 911 form? I mean, call me old-fashioned but £30K isn't a small amount of money...is it?!...maybe it is here?
Both my reading plus the excellent (and hilarious) summary above has left me very doubtful and feeling that I'm probably "barking up the wrong tree"? And that I might be better off staying within the camp of the devil I know?
I'm not a hairdresser, I'm not gay, I'm not a racing driver, I'm not rich but I'm not poor, I'm not a Luddite but may be a Philistine. I think (?) I'm just a regular, ordinary guy who's into cars and who would like to have a 911. It won't be driven as a daily driver; it won't be driven on a race-track but has got to have more performance than any of the BMWs I'm potentially giving up for it www.bmwclassics.co.uk/about/index.html
Is there any hope for me?...Or should I just crawl back under the rock from whence I came and leave the Porsches to "hairdressers...gays...racing drivers...millionaires..." Oh how I really wanted a 911 before I started reading...! Can anyone say some stuff to encourage me again? Thanks!
>> Edited by derin100 on Wednesday 22 February 11:29
I've long wanted a Porsche. After 25 years of enthusiastic BMW ownership I'd thought I was ready for something different. I've recently been avidly reading as much as I can to try to bring myself up to speed on matters '911'.
My first hurdle, as a 'Johnny-come-lately', seemed to be to decide just which model to go for within a budget of circa £30K. Once this was established I thought I'd then be able to focus on trying to find a good example of the chosen model.Front-runners had become 996 C2/C4...but then without any Porsche history or loyalty behind me I'd probably be regarded as Philistine! Then I read the long threads here about all the catatrophic engine failures,legal wrangles etc
So, I'm consistently falling - even at this first hurdle! My reading here on PH and in Porsche Mags leaves me despondent at every turn. Seems lots of people have lots of negativity, in some form or other, about every single model that might be within my budget?
I don't have such vast funds to spend that I can afford £70K for a secondhand car but was hopeful that by culling some of my BMW collection and adding some of my hard-earned I might be able to get something halfway 'desirable' in 911 form? I mean, call me old-fashioned but £30K isn't a small amount of money...is it?!...maybe it is here?
Both my reading plus the excellent (and hilarious) summary above has left me very doubtful and feeling that I'm probably "barking up the wrong tree"? And that I might be better off staying within the camp of the devil I know?
I'm not a hairdresser, I'm not gay, I'm not a racing driver, I'm not rich but I'm not poor, I'm not a Luddite but may be a Philistine. I think (?) I'm just a regular, ordinary guy who's into cars and who would like to have a 911. It won't be driven as a daily driver; it won't be driven on a race-track but has got to have more performance than any of the BMWs I'm potentially giving up for it www.bmwclassics.co.uk/about/index.html
Is there any hope for me?...Or should I just crawl back under the rock from whence I came and leave the Porsches to "hairdressers...gays...racing drivers...millionaires..." Oh how I really wanted a 911 before I started reading...! Can anyone say some stuff to encourage me again? Thanks!
>> Edited by derin100 on Wednesday 22 February 11:29
derin100 said:
I'm not a hairdresser, I'm not gay, I'm not a racing driver, I'm not rich but I'm not poor, I'm not a Luddite but may be a Philistine. I think (?) I'm just a regular, ordinary guy who's into cars and who would like to have a 911.
That will be a 996 C2 then. Suits you sir.
Yours sincerely,
Onkel Ferdinand.
You're right! I am the scum of the earth for driving a Boxster 2.7. But when I can afford a 911, which one do I buy? God the choices and all so flawed!
I guess I'll just keep saving up for the CGT, but then......I'm a flash git! Aaaarrgghhh, it'll just have to be a Gallardo....but then......I'm a flash git! Aaaarrrgghhh......tell you what balls to you all, I'll keep the Boxster. It is after all an EVO 5 star car, Fifth Gear's current COTY and (arguably) the best roadster on the planet.
I'm off to settle some claims.....sorry.....cut some hair.
"Yoooooo Hooooooo!"
I guess I'll just keep saving up for the CGT, but then......I'm a flash git! Aaaarrgghhh, it'll just have to be a Gallardo....but then......I'm a flash git! Aaaarrrgghhh......tell you what balls to you all, I'll keep the Boxster. It is after all an EVO 5 star car, Fifth Gear's current COTY and (arguably) the best roadster on the planet.
I'm off to settle some claims.....sorry.....cut some hair.
"Yoooooo Hooooooo!"Gassing Station | Porsche General | Top of Page | What's New | My Stuff