Un-Modified Chimaera Club (UMCC)

[Goaty Bill]

Founding Rule Number 1: Turbo Nutter bds . Need Not Apply!



For those of us who truly believe that our Chimaera was always perfect, just the way Peter and the boys made her.

For owners that have painstakingly kept the faith, shopped for their spares at original TVR Dealers, and spent the sums of money to maintain originality, that could solve the third world debt crisis.

If your headlights and tail lights are the same as the ones your car came with, if you still remember what an engine looks like without a hair-dryer on it's head; this could be the club for you.


If this sort of thing Modified Chimaera Club (MCC) gives you the horrors and makes you like this, you are probably a candidate.

It's time to stand up and be counted

[Goaty Bill]

dbv8 said:

It's not supposed to be popular, just exclusive.

Anyway, you guys make enough noise and hot air between you... for all of us. Especially hot air

[Goaty Bill]

ChimpofDarkness said:

... Lots of blasphemous things...

Damn it

Am I trying to get in the wrong gang?

Yes.

I don't even know what most of that is, nor would I recognise it if it bit me an the arse.
From the sound of it though, many of those things are quite likely to do just that!

[Goaty Bill]

Read the small print of the club charter (that I just made up)
Minor modifications, where the original parts are no longer available, or providing they do not dramatically improve performance, or visibly alter the appearance of the vehicle, may be given special dispensation.

[Goaty Bill]

RichardD said:

I think the name of the new club here could do with being altered slightly to gain a better response.

Something like:-

Beautiful Un-Modified Chimaera Club (BUMCC)
British Un-Modified Chimaera Club (BUMCC)
Basically Un-Modified Chimaera Club (BUMCC)

As the "Beautiful" is so strikingly obvious, it was considered uncouth to remind people.
As such, the sense of humility that comes from being in a superior position, and one's own sense of general good taste, therefore forbids us from reminding the less fortunate.

Of course, it's much easier for your crew: Wheel Barrow Club (WBC)

RichardD said:

(Is it obvious I have a Grief )

We all have our crosses to bear Richard.
Our hearts go out to you.

[Goaty Bill]

Chilliman said:

Goaty Bill said:

Of course, it's much easier for your crew: Wheel Barrow Club (WBC)

Correct me if I'm wrong, but wheelbarrow is one word. That makes it the WC

Chilli, for all of your "Chimaera perverting" faults, you are still a good chap.

Thank you for the correction.

The WC it would be.

[Goaty Bill]

ChimpofDarkness said:

Goaty Bill said:

Read the small print of the club charter (that I just made up)
Minor modifications, where the original parts are no longer available, or providing they do not dramatically improve performance, or visibly alter the appearance of the vehicle, may be given special dispensation.

Right so basically if you use modern technology (even sympathetically) to make the car better than is ever was when it left Bristol Avenue.

YOU IS BANNED FROM THE GOATY GANG!

Have I understood the small print correctly?

Tch, somebody is feeling a bit sensitive at being left out

I must refer my learned colleague to the opening statement;
"For those of us who truly believe that our Chimaera was always perfect, just the way Peter and the boys made her."

And again to refer you to the specific text quoted above; "providing they do not dramatically improve performance, or visibly alter the appearance of the vehicle".

In the spirit of the opening statement, with respect for the fact of some components no longer being available, or in extremis, and enclosing a request for dispensation, the use of non-standard parts may not in fact disqualify the applicant from membership.

In fact, I personally have a non-standard radiator.
However, there were mitigating factors in this 'modification', to wit;
1) A truly standard original component could no longer be obtained from a TVR main dealer at that time;
2) A replacement component was definitely and most assuredly required, immediately as a replacement, not an enhancement for it's own sake.
3) The offending component was in fact purchased directly from a TVR main dealer as a direct replacement for the unavailable original component, at an additional cost above and beyond the fee otherwise publicly quoted by the manufacturer.
4) The person purchasing the offending component fully recognised the suitability of the original component to 'serve the purpose', and did not otherwise have a cause for purchasing the new component, were it not for the untimely and violent demise of the original component.
5) The purchaser of the offending component showed true remorse at having to follow this route.
6) The purchaser successfully argued that the ability to drive the vehicle, sometimes would have to override the demand for originality required by the opening statement referred to above.

Whereas, in your case my good sir you openly, publicly and for the record state; "My temperature & oil pressure gauges tell the truth".

I have never heard of such an outright disgrace to the brand and to the model in particular!
I can only stand in wonder at such a brazen attitude.

[Goaty Bill]

MuffDaddy said:

I have a non standard wireless, and I'm going to move the electrics over winter.

Can I join?

The very fact that you refer to it as a "wireless" would count heavily in your favour I think.

It is something of a push though, as I still have my original, and should think they must be repairable.

Personally I would keep the original 'wireless', irrespective of serviceability, and live without the sounds it makes, as they were in any case always quite effectively drowned out by the sound of the engine.
In fact that is exactly what I have done, and I have no idea if mine works or not, as I haven't tried it in at least 5 years.

But, that is a personal preference to an extent, and your application is under consideration.

[Goaty Bill]

Chimaeraman said:

I have dust caps with a TVR logo - does that mean I am out?

Did you obtain said 'dust caps' (whatever they are) from a TVR main dealer?
I have seen trinkets such as these under the counter, though shockingly in plain view of the public, in certain main dealer shops.

My personal belief is these types of modifications may occur from a slightly exaggerated enthusiasm for the car that one loves so deeply, and is generally quite forgiveable.

I doubt that they "dramatically improve performance", and so your application is under consideration.

[Goaty Bill]

Naybr said:

Mine doesn't have the standard petrol in the tank. Apparently it has been replaced several times since the car was new. I guess that means I can't join either ...?

Now, now Mr Naybor. There is no reason to be overly sensitive.
We are actually quite a friendly and civilised bunch over here.

I seem to recall meeting quite a number of TVR owners in similar straights at various fuelling points around the country over the years.

Oddly enough, I am certain that I have met most fellow TVR owners that I have met at all, in similar circumstances over the years.

Assuming this is your only modification, your application is under consideration.

[Goaty Bill]

neal1980 said:

Goaty Bill said:

Founding Rule Number 1: Turbo Nutter bds . Need Not Apply!

"Im out"....Bye bye

Hmm
Should I dignify this with a response?





Nah

[Goaty Bill]

phazed said:

Goaty Bill said:

Tch, somebody is feeling a bit sensitive at being left out

What he said!

So, by that token, if I remove this stripe, I'm in with a chance then cause I haven't a fan or a blower, (foot in 2 camps mode).

In fairness, had you wished it, I am sure TVR would have coloured your car just like that as new.

But, how do you propose to explain this?
and...
this

I suspect the only original components are the swirl pot and the wiper motor!

Clearly there is no attempt to improve performance here is there?
pshaw!

[Goaty Bill]

Chilliman said:

wuckfitracing said:

Like it. Can I join. Reversing shocking crime of moving away from non standard parts used by previous owners to return to original is my aim (Lexus style back lights, nasty)
Its a 430 and possibly the 3rd oldest ever made, hence originallity is good. My spelling however may not be.

Great news Bill, that's two of you,

Seriously, this could be a great club

It is never to late for most people/cars to be redeemed.
With some notable exceptions of course such as this Chillimonster fellow (he apparently can't count the other applicants above in his complex calculations arriving at the sum of 2).

Colin, the road to redemption is long (read expensive), but the effort is laudable, especially when returning one of the older girls to a fit life.

It is good to know, between you and the others, that there may be a few of us, and more importantly our cars, left that still believe Blackpool had it pretty much right.

Nice clean looking car btw



Now Chilli, 1 + 1 = 2, 2 + 1 = 3, etc.
Got it now?

[Goaty Bill]

Quietlybonkers said:

Worried now. I thought this was the club for me, as I don't have enough hair to need a hair dryer.
BUT
I have non-standard shock absorbers.
I updated the Pie-on-ear for one that works
I have about 200 more stone chips than the standard car
I have a midi fuse between alternator and battery, where the rubbish blade fuse should be
I have fitted the mod-wise hot start mod after two non-restarts this summer

Otherwise Niggles is as standard and is cared for by a TVR specialist who cares

Can I come in please?

I have the feeling Mr Bonkers, that you may have something of the 'right stuff'.
I have seen you appear swayed by the arguments presented by the massed unclean, that all could be better, that all should be better, that all would be better, if only...

It has to be said, for those relatively new to TVR ownership, it is a minefield here.
I am convinced that there are many, like yourself, that must feel utterly alone when reading endless posts with pages long lists of 'necessary' modifications.

With the arrival of the elitist MCC it is natural for some of the less secure to clamour for membership there. The need to belong is strong.

I do not see anything in your list of 'modifications' that would be outright cause for exclusion.

[Goaty Bill]

dbv8 said:

Hang on a minute!
Surely there has been a club for quite a few years now that is suitable for the unmodified few. They frown and tut at any performance enhancing changes made to the beloved marque.

TVRCC

And so it begins. A visit from the Master of Temptation himself
Until I see the fire breathing 8L+ BBC in the [remnants] of your Chimaera, you will not have achieved even half of the status demanded of the True Master of Temptation. Realise your potential evil one! Maximum Temptation?


To be clear on the reasons for the original post;
1) in direct response to; MCC
2) to bring balance to a forum that incessantly demands changes and modifications to our beautiful cars as some sort of Holy Grail of TVR ownership
3) to ensure that the existing few, and those that join in the future, realise there is an alternative to endless modification, to give them a safe haven in the turmoil of Chimaera abuse, to let them know; You are NOT alone!


Should there be any confusion as to my motivation (aside from the obvious 'winding up' of members of MCC );
There is no intention to compete with the venerable institution of the TVRCC.
There is no intention to suggest that anyone interested in the principals of UMCC;
1) must be have masses of cash to endlessly refurbish their Chimaera
2) must have a pristine low mileage garage queen, though they are also welcome
3) must maintain originality to the point of having a car which is essentially unusable or impractical

Simply, as stated above; Just a voice of reason in the wilderness of mass modification madness .

[Goaty Bill]

ads said:

The only modifications to my car is a starter relay, CD player and alloy handbrake (have original though). Oh and the tyres are Dunlop SP9000's.

Can I be the third member?

In fairness, and assuming the previous applications by MuffDaddy, Chimaeraman, Naybr are all interested parties, then you would be the 5th, including Quietlybonkers and myself.

The starter relay 'hot start kit' is almost essential it seems; it's an age thing, as mine functioned perfectly for years without one.
Sadly, the CD players do seem to have been replaced in a number of cars, but I am sure they were only installed for people who didn't realise how impossible it would be hear them.
Sad, but true, the S02s and S03s later approved by TVR are simply not available.

It seems that makes 5 then.

Quality, not quantity

[Goaty Bill]

RichardD said:

I thought you were measuring up for one of these ?

http://www.sonnysracingengines.com/engines/sar-100...

Quite a bargain, it costs less than a house.

and

sgrimshaw said:

This would do very nicely ...

http://www.edelbrock.com/automotive_new/mc/crate_e...

In the nicest possible terms gentlemen, I believe you are publishing your pornography in the wrong thread?

[Goaty Bill]

Chilliman said:

Not only that, one of em's a Griff intruder

To your credit Chilli, you can smell a Grifter in a Chimaera forum faster than anyone I know.
You are certainly in the right role over there at MCC.

Chilliman said:

Wasn't there a TV series back in the '60's called 'The Five Just Men'? I could never work out if they were supposed to 'Just' as in the upholders of justice or only 'just' made it into the bloke category

I think you will find it was 'Four'. wiki
There is that problem with arithmetic again

Edited by Goaty Bill on Friday 2nd November 15:09

[Goaty Bill]

Quietlybonkers said:

Mine leaks, so I have wet carpets - so is exactly as it was when it left the factory.....

I saw my faithful TVR expert this morning and asked if he could do a (shock horror) modification. He called it a gurney, I call it a chin spoiler. He showed me one on a Grief to make sure he knew what I meant, and he said that both Grefs and Chims came out of the factory with them, but tended to lose them during use. Can anyone confirm?

I class it as an essential mod if it s one - without it ,my bonnet pops open at 135mph, and the cars were built to do 161.

I can confirm that my dealer ripped mine off the car during the 12k service, after I had done it some damage.
I have never had a problem with the bonnet popping open at as many as 155 leptons, but others have reported it previously.

If memory serves, the original replacement from TVR was something quite insane, like £250.

Somewhere on here there is a thread (about one year old) describing how to make them out of plastic guttering, so that you can produce several and replace them regularly and cheaply.
Not sure this version is a dealer approved modification though

[Goaty Bill]

Chimaeraman said:

Whooppee - under consideration is good enough for me. When installed I did try for a revised 0-60 time but surprisingly I could notice very little difference.

I await confirmation to the club with bated breath.

I think we can safely count you in