why I hate computers!
Discussion
srebbe64 said:
When they go wrong they tell you it's your fault, but then don't tell you what you've done wrong! Usually it's something like "irreversible 602 critical connection netwrork server error". So that really helps a technophobe! He'll I hate computers and the Internet!
04:04? What on earth are you doing up at that time?My PC at work sometimes tells me "Cannot complete your request because you are low on memory". Ahem... I am low on memory? I don't think so... and the computer isn't even low on memory - it's just the sh*tty OS that can't manage the substantial memory that's installed in such a way as to be able to do it's fecking job properly. Now, who do I sue for defamation?
CommanderJameson said:
srebbe64 said:
When they go wrong they tell you it's your fault, but then don't tell you what you've done wrong! Usually it's something like "irreversible 602 critical connection netwrork server error". So that really helps a technophobe! He'll I hate computers and the Internet!
04:04? What on earth are you doing up at that time?Hugh (Professional Pedant - software tester)
srebbe64 said:
When they go wrong they tell you it's your fault, but then don't tell you what you've done wrong! Usually it's something like "irreversible 602 critical connection netwrork server error". So that really helps a technophobe!
Eddie Izzard said:
Control P Print! Controool P Print! Control P... PRINT! Your printer has produced an error type 230... What the hell does that mean?! Oh for god's sake I'm ringing <Printer company name> Hello! Yes, is this <Printer Company Name>? Oh thank god, I've got an Error Type 230... Yes I've chosen the picture of the dog standing up and not the dog lying on it's side... Yes I've chosen printing paper instead of toilet paper... Yes I've; LOOK! It's four o'clock in the f
king morning, and I've got to go to bed but I can't because I've this bding thing won't print; it's just ONE PIECE OF PAPER! Th-Oh. Oh! There's an ON button on the printer! Ooooooh! Well if I was a rocket scientist I would have known that in the first place, wouldn't I?!
king morning, and I've got to go to bed but I can't because I've this bding thing won't print; it's just ONE PIECE OF PAPER! Th-Oh. Oh! There's an ON button on the printer! Ooooooh! Well if I was a rocket scientist I would have known that in the first place, wouldn't I?!
Gotta love Eddie.
Heskey said:
srebbe64 said:
When they go wrong they tell you it's your fault, but then don't tell you what you've done wrong! Usually it's something like "irreversible 602 critical connection netwrork server error". So that really helps a technophobe!
Eddie Izzard said:
Control P Print! Controool P Print! Control P... PRINT! Your printer has produced an error type 230... What the hell does that mean?! Oh for god's sake I'm ringing <Printer company name> Hello! Yes, is this <Printer Company Name>? Oh thank god, I've got an Error Type 230... Yes I've chosen the picture of the dog standing up and not the dog lying on it's side... Yes I've chosen printing paper instead of toilet paper... Yes I've; LOOK! It's four o'clock in the fking morning, and I've got to go to bed but I can't because I've this bding thing won't print; it's just ONE PIECE OF PAPER! Th-Oh. Oh! There's an ON button on the printer! Ooooooh! Well if I was a rocket scientist I would have known that in the first place, wouldn't I?!
king morning, and I've got to go to bed but I can't because I've this bding thing won't print; it's just ONE PIECE OF PAPER! Th-Oh. Oh! There's an ON button on the printer! Ooooooh! Well if I was a rocket scientist I would have known that in the first place, wouldn't I?!Gotta love Eddie.
"You have chosen to close the non-responsive program..."
No. I didn't "CHOOSE" to close it. I had no choice. It was cocking up my computing and already lost all the work I'd done. It put me in a corner. I had no option. I'd given it 20 minutes to come round, but no, it couldn't be arsed. I closed every other program in order to give it the best chance, but that wasn't good enough. But it's never good enough is it? Whatever I do, it still insists on having a fit according to it's own schedule.
And all I asked it to do is page down...
No. I didn't "CHOOSE" to close it. I had no choice. It was cocking up my computing and already lost all the work I'd done. It put me in a corner. I had no option. I'd given it 20 minutes to come round, but no, it couldn't be arsed. I closed every other program in order to give it the best chance, but that wasn't good enough. But it's never good enough is it? Whatever I do, it still insists on having a fit according to it's own schedule.
And all I asked it to do is page down...
chris watton said:
LOL, I did the same with a new A3 scanner yesterday, everytime I clicked 'Aquire Image', I was greeted with a 'Fatal Error' and 'Twain drivers not installed'. So, I go to the website to update the drivers, but still the same message! After a while, I realised the prob was that I hadn't switch the damn scanner on! Why can't we have a simple message like 'Please switch the equipment on before using, you dope!'!
cause then fella, people like me cold not feel smug when we walk down and switch it on for you, then walk away saying 'don't worry we have all done it' whilst thinking, 'you retard, the on button is the only button on it, and it lights up like a xmas tree when its on' or words to the effect. it may have been 'you f**ktard' 
jesta1865 said:
chris watton said:
LOL, I did the same with a new A3 scanner yesterday, everytime I clicked 'Aquire Image', I was greeted with a 'Fatal Error' and 'Twain drivers not installed'. So, I go to the website to update the drivers, but still the same message! After a while, I realised the prob was that I hadn't switch the damn scanner on! Why can't we have a simple message like 'Please switch the equipment on before using, you dope!'!
cause then fella, people like me cold not feel smug when we walk down and switch it on for you, then walk away saying 'don't worry we have all done it' whilst thinking, 'you retard, the on button is the only button on it, and it lights up like a xmas tree when its on' or words to the effect. it may have been 'you f**ktard' I asked our tech guy to sort it out because although savvy with PCs, all I know about franking is I weigh a letter, pop it in, and hey presto.
Anyway he pressed a tonne of random buttons, the screen went normal and he just looked at me with that "You idiot" look and said "Seems to be working fine"
= /
Edited by Heskey on Thursday 21st August 09:37
FlossyThePig said:
CommanderJameson said:
srebbe64 said:
When they go wrong they tell you it's your fault, but then don't tell you what you've done wrong! Usually it's something like "irreversible 602 critical connection netwrork server error". So that really helps a technophobe! He'll I hate computers and the Internet!
04:04? What on earth are you doing up at that time?Hugh (Professional Pedant - software tester)[/quote
Actually I'm in the US on holiday with my iPhone. And at the time of posting I was having "406 network errors due to server error" (or something)!
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