Blackmail, I think...
Discussion
Hey chaps,
A close friend of mine is being blackmailed, she is essentially like a sister to me so it is getting to me that i feel totally unable to help.
She has a long term partner (yep it's going there) but a couple of months ago she was with another guy, he told her pay me several hundred pounds or he would tell everyone, now she paid the guy at the time and all was forgotten about, until yesterday and he has started again.
Now from what she has said about this chap he is NOT a nice person, why she associates with him i have no idea.
I have asked if she has kept the messages but she has said she has gotten rid of them, she has even gone through the trouble of changing her number.
I have advised to keep all the FB messages and texts she will no doubt receive in the coming days, but is there anything else she can or should be doing?
I have told her she has to be honest and tell the people who this affects to take away this guys leverage.
She is petrified at the moment and i think worried about him physically hurting her as well.
any advice appreciated.
Thanks guys
A close friend of mine is being blackmailed, she is essentially like a sister to me so it is getting to me that i feel totally unable to help.
She has a long term partner (yep it's going there) but a couple of months ago she was with another guy, he told her pay me several hundred pounds or he would tell everyone, now she paid the guy at the time and all was forgotten about, until yesterday and he has started again.
Now from what she has said about this chap he is NOT a nice person, why she associates with him i have no idea.
I have asked if she has kept the messages but she has said she has gotten rid of them, she has even gone through the trouble of changing her number.
I have advised to keep all the FB messages and texts she will no doubt receive in the coming days, but is there anything else she can or should be doing?
I have told her she has to be honest and tell the people who this affects to take away this guys leverage.
She is petrified at the moment and i think worried about him physically hurting her as well.
any advice appreciated.
Thanks guys
If as typed I would be having difficult conversation with possibly soon to be former long term partner and then off to the Police with all evidence.
But that's me and that's not legal advice.
TBH it would have been the above for me day one i got hard proof of being asked for money to keep someone quiet. Blackmail is one of the lowest of the low crimes out there and blackmailers have absolutely zero morality. If someone is that wretched that they are going to try to blackmail you they are not going to stop until you are bled dry, they will continually keep coming back until one day you try to refuse or have run out of money to pay them off when they will release whatever it was that they had on you in the first place.
But that's me and that's not legal advice.
TBH it would have been the above for me day one i got hard proof of being asked for money to keep someone quiet. Blackmail is one of the lowest of the low crimes out there and blackmailers have absolutely zero morality. If someone is that wretched that they are going to try to blackmail you they are not going to stop until you are bled dry, they will continually keep coming back until one day you try to refuse or have run out of money to pay them off when they will release whatever it was that they had on you in the first place.
What an awful situation.
This is going to sound bad but does this guy have any "evidence" of what they did? i.e. did he take compromising photos of her etc?
If not, and she doesn't want to lose her current partner, she could tell the blackmailer to do his worst and then simply deny all knowledge - he's a bad egg, jealous etc etc, don't know what he's talking about, nothing's happened. In essence, lie through her teeth to her current partner and hope it all goes away.
It's a low way to go about it but my betting is if she doesn't call his bluff, this will just keep happening.
Saying that though, I kind of agree with the poster above - if she couldn't do the time, she shouldn't have done the crime!
This is going to sound bad but does this guy have any "evidence" of what they did? i.e. did he take compromising photos of her etc?
If not, and she doesn't want to lose her current partner, she could tell the blackmailer to do his worst and then simply deny all knowledge - he's a bad egg, jealous etc etc, don't know what he's talking about, nothing's happened. In essence, lie through her teeth to her current partner and hope it all goes away.
It's a low way to go about it but my betting is if she doesn't call his bluff, this will just keep happening.
Saying that though, I kind of agree with the poster above - if she couldn't do the time, she shouldn't have done the crime!
the only way to resolve this is to tell the current partner everything- he will find out somehow one day anyway and a relationship with secrets in is no relationship (not sure whether she has actually cheated on her current partner but looks like it)
Whatever the result, the blackmailer will go away as he has nothing to blackmail about
Whatever the result, the blackmailer will go away as he has nothing to blackmail about
Thanks for the replies,
While i do agree she is an idiot and she should face consequences, i feel those should be with her partner, not the other person who is profiting from this.
Rude-boy, I wasn't aware that she paid him originally,had she told me i would have made sure she didnt pay him the first time... Her thinking that once paid it would stop, shows her naivety.
I Haven't said anything to her partner, but i have told her she needs to tell him and she has assured me she will.
I have not asked what evidence that this chap has, but for her to pay a chunk of money there must be something.
I will talk with her shortly,i'll tell her keep evidence, tell partner, go to the police..
I'm not sure she will go to the police, but she will definitely be telling her partner.
While i do agree she is an idiot and she should face consequences, i feel those should be with her partner, not the other person who is profiting from this.
Rude-boy, I wasn't aware that she paid him originally,had she told me i would have made sure she didnt pay him the first time... Her thinking that once paid it would stop, shows her naivety.
I Haven't said anything to her partner, but i have told her she needs to tell him and she has assured me she will.
I have not asked what evidence that this chap has, but for her to pay a chunk of money there must be something.
I will talk with her shortly,i'll tell her keep evidence, tell partner, go to the police..
I'm not sure she will go to the police, but she will definitely be telling her partner.
If she goes to the police then her current partner is going to find out... If she doesn't pay him she will be constantly stressed and worried.
The only solution is to just come clean. Tell her bloke the truth and hope it works out.
The idea of lying is silly. He may have the texts etc... Imagine how ridiculous she is going to look if they get shown. Not only is she then a cheat but she is paying someone to not tell people... Just come clean. I wouldn't bother with the police. Once she has told her partner there is nothing there for him.
The only solution is to just come clean. Tell her bloke the truth and hope it works out.
The idea of lying is silly. He may have the texts etc... Imagine how ridiculous she is going to look if they get shown. Not only is she then a cheat but she is paying someone to not tell people... Just come clean. I wouldn't bother with the police. Once she has told her partner there is nothing there for him.
Most certainly not to be used for ideas but for escapism there is a book by a chap call Frederick Forsyth called "No Comebacks". It is a collection of short stories.
One of these is called "Money with Menaces".
Whilst I absolutely cannot condone the actions of the victim I do rather like his style.
(There is another in there called "Privilege" which I also rather liked
)
One of these is called "Money with Menaces".
Whilst I absolutely cannot condone the actions of the victim I do rather like his style.
(There is another in there called "Privilege" which I also rather liked
)
Vaud said:
Rude-boy said:
(There is another in there called "Privilege" which I also rather liked )
Was that the one where he punches a journalist? )Not legal or moral advice, but a bit of game theory:
She tells the blackmailer that she has admitted her cheating to hubby and she's been forgiven.
What can the blackmailer do then?
He could call her bluff and threaten to tell anyway. She says "go for it", but warns that she will pass on all communications to the police regarding blackmail if he makes any contact with her or hubby.
He might believe her, which means he knows his leverage is gone. However, even if he thought she was lying, although he can bluff, it would be pointless him revealing the information to the hubby, as he would also then know that his leverage is gone. Plus, also, he risks criminal charges. No gain, only risk of serious loss - so he won't.
She tells the blackmailer that she has admitted her cheating to hubby and she's been forgiven.
What can the blackmailer do then?
He could call her bluff and threaten to tell anyway. She says "go for it", but warns that she will pass on all communications to the police regarding blackmail if he makes any contact with her or hubby.
He might believe her, which means he knows his leverage is gone. However, even if he thought she was lying, although he can bluff, it would be pointless him revealing the information to the hubby, as he would also then know that his leverage is gone. Plus, also, he risks criminal charges. No gain, only risk of serious loss - so he won't.
Justin - like the idea. My concern is that i have yet to find a blackmailer with a fully working brain. By their nature blackmailers are base creatures and don't often think things though properly. They are also, as evidenced, greedy little runts and will often undo themselves as a result.
See Mr C. Sheene for further details.
See Mr C. Sheene for further details.
She is telling her partner so there is no need for bluffing ect, she isn't mentally strong enough for mind games and keeping this up.
I've asked what evidence he has on her and there is nothing, no pictures no videos.
She is adamant she will NOT go to the police for fears of making everything worse??
I've asked how it can get worse and if she tells her partner what can he then do.. she shakes her head and wont talk anymore.. If the police where going to arrest him there would be plenty of other things they could have done by now apparently. sigh.
Voyds9 like the idea aha
I've asked what evidence he has on her and there is nothing, no pictures no videos.
She is adamant she will NOT go to the police for fears of making everything worse??
I've asked how it can get worse and if she tells her partner what can he then do.. she shakes her head and wont talk anymore.. If the police where going to arrest him there would be plenty of other things they could have done by now apparently. sigh.
Voyds9 like the idea aha
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