What's the most embarrassing thing you've done?
Discussion
I'm sure there are similar threads but I frankly don't care 
Anyway a cat thread reminded me of a partcularly embarrassing one of my own.
One morning I was just going in the shower of our old house when the cat ran in through the cat-flap with a screaming, struggling blackbird.
Being the softhearted fellow that I am I rushed to rescue our poor feathered friend.
The cat, however, was either wise to my ploy or terrified of my naked form bearing down on him and proceeded to rush back outside and maul the poor thing at the front of the house.
I looked around and the only thing I could find to put on was a pair of the girlfriends jeans which were far too small and could not be done up in any way whatsoever.
Hearing the birds increasing distress i though '
it- ill only be a second' and rushed out of the front door with my tackle hanging out with rescue on my mind.
One of the worse noises I ever heard was the sound of the door closing behind me.
The cat took one look at me, gathered the bird and ran straight through my legs and back in through the cat-flap to finish his torture.
Meanwhile i was left standing locked-out on the street wearing nothing but a pair of girls jeans which I was desperately, and quite unsuccessfully, attemtping to hold together with both hands.
I had to hobble round to a delighted neighbor and borrow some breaking-in tools.
Your turn
Anyway a cat thread reminded me of a partcularly embarrassing one of my own.
One morning I was just going in the shower of our old house when the cat ran in through the cat-flap with a screaming, struggling blackbird.
Being the softhearted fellow that I am I rushed to rescue our poor feathered friend.
The cat, however, was either wise to my ploy or terrified of my naked form bearing down on him and proceeded to rush back outside and maul the poor thing at the front of the house.
I looked around and the only thing I could find to put on was a pair of the girlfriends jeans which were far too small and could not be done up in any way whatsoever.
Hearing the birds increasing distress i though '
it- ill only be a second' and rushed out of the front door with my tackle hanging out with rescue on my mind. One of the worse noises I ever heard was the sound of the door closing behind me.
The cat took one look at me, gathered the bird and ran straight through my legs and back in through the cat-flap to finish his torture.
Meanwhile i was left standing locked-out on the street wearing nothing but a pair of girls jeans which I was desperately, and quite unsuccessfully, attemtping to hold together with both hands.
I had to hobble round to a delighted neighbor and borrow some breaking-in tools.
Your turn
Ok, the background is that I'm nailing this married woman and it's all hush hush, anyway, I live across the road from the pub, one evening (10pm ish) my lady agreed to meet me outside for a quick jump, so I waited and waited and waited and waited. Anyway, I was poised for action like a stalking cat and then I heard some footsteps coming down the gravel path, it was a sure thing, instead of going into my garden, the steps went into the neighbours and stopped. Not wanting to make a scene, I stuck my head through the hedge and uttered some provocating profanities. It was my next door neighbours wife!!! Whoops, I nearly died on the spot all my ears heard was "Stuart, what on earth are you doing?" 
I still cringe when I see her.
I still cringe when I see her.
Ive put this up before so i wont go into detail when i was chaufering i drove the lead car at a funeral..i had all the closest relatives of the deceased in my car including the late blokes wife,i took a wrong turn and led the whole courtage up a dead end 
..........it was a mess 
I felt like pulling the handbrake on and making a run for it
When i was Bricklaying i built a lower side of a house in record time..i was so pleased with myself....until i stood back and realised i hadnt put the damp course in at the bottom ...B*****S!!....i do hope that house is dry.
>> Edited by ZR1cliff on Wednesday 22 March 16:18
..........it was a mess I felt like pulling the handbrake on and making a run for it
When i was Bricklaying i built a lower side of a house in record time..i was so pleased with myself....until i stood back and realised i hadnt put the damp course in at the bottom ...B*****S!!....i do hope that house is dry.
>> Edited by ZR1cliff on Wednesday 22 March 16:18
When i was at college in St Aubyns i used to go swimming at the local pool each afternoon. It was usually deserted but every wednesday a young female swimming insructor would be giving a lessons on one side of the pool, she wore a cossie and was very fit!
So being at college i never actually washed my trunks, and chlorine rots fabric, but i did'nt know that at the time.
So i arrive for my swim on a Wednesday, smile at the instructor and BOMB into the pool, great.. do my 25 lengths and move to the side of the pool where the instructor was teaching.. pulled myslef up the ladder and looked down and to my horror, well.. there was NO crotch on my swimming trunks, it had totally ripped away and me bits were on show.. i looked up and the swimming instructor was looking straight at my totally exposed crotch.... ARRGGGH
So i dropped back into the pool, rearanged my swimming trunks to give me a bit of descency and then got out of the pool and legged it past the swimming instructor to the changing rooms, my already red face was mde reder by the cry of 'DONT RUN' which came from the life guard..
I never went back...
So being at college i never actually washed my trunks, and chlorine rots fabric, but i did'nt know that at the time.
So i arrive for my swim on a Wednesday, smile at the instructor and BOMB into the pool, great.. do my 25 lengths and move to the side of the pool where the instructor was teaching.. pulled myslef up the ladder and looked down and to my horror, well.. there was NO crotch on my swimming trunks, it had totally ripped away and me bits were on show.. i looked up and the swimming instructor was looking straight at my totally exposed crotch.... ARRGGGH
So i dropped back into the pool, rearanged my swimming trunks to give me a bit of descency and then got out of the pool and legged it past the swimming instructor to the changing rooms, my already red face was mde reder by the cry of 'DONT RUN' which came from the life guard..
I never went back...
Just remembered this and thought it worth sharing.
When i was about 14 we went on a family holiday to Scotland with my Grandpa who lived with us back then. we piled into dad's old XJ6 with G'pa in the passenger seat, mum, brother and me in the back, and headed north on the M6. after a few miles we stopped for lunch and pulled in to a services, probably little theif or similar. We parked on an incline with the right side of the car lower than the left and started to get out.
Now my G'pa had a catheta fitted, and he thought it ok to empty it when he was out. he'd usually find a drain, or a flowerbed and open the 'tap' to let the pee out.
As the rest of us were getting out of the car, G'pa put his leg out and released the pee from the bag on his leg. he thought nothing of it and got out of the car. We locked it and went in to eat. We sat in a window seat, overlooking the car.
Just then a guy pulled up along side the old jag, underneath it on the slope. We watched as he got out and was just locking the door - key in those days, when he noticed a trickle of liquid coming from the engine area. Thinking it was something terminal he bent down and sniffed at it, and then for further investigation he put his finger in it and tasted it. Looking worried he drove off again, no doubt to visit the petrol station.
Our worst fears were confirmed when it was revealed that the trail of 'water' snaked back underneath the Jag. we looked at each other and burst into laughter. G'pa was suitably embarrased.
When i was about 14 we went on a family holiday to Scotland with my Grandpa who lived with us back then. we piled into dad's old XJ6 with G'pa in the passenger seat, mum, brother and me in the back, and headed north on the M6. after a few miles we stopped for lunch and pulled in to a services, probably little theif or similar. We parked on an incline with the right side of the car lower than the left and started to get out.
Now my G'pa had a catheta fitted, and he thought it ok to empty it when he was out. he'd usually find a drain, or a flowerbed and open the 'tap' to let the pee out.
As the rest of us were getting out of the car, G'pa put his leg out and released the pee from the bag on his leg. he thought nothing of it and got out of the car. We locked it and went in to eat. We sat in a window seat, overlooking the car.
Just then a guy pulled up along side the old jag, underneath it on the slope. We watched as he got out and was just locking the door - key in those days, when he noticed a trickle of liquid coming from the engine area. Thinking it was something terminal he bent down and sniffed at it, and then for further investigation he put his finger in it and tasted it. Looking worried he drove off again, no doubt to visit the petrol station.
Our worst fears were confirmed when it was revealed that the trail of 'water' snaked back underneath the Jag. we looked at each other and burst into laughter. G'pa was suitably embarrased.
I had just arrived back at Heathrow from living abroad for 18 months and a friend was picking me up. He was late and I'd been hanging around for a while when I spotted the back of him at a drinks machine so i went running over excitedly and jumped on his back...... only to find that it was a complete stranger!! Sooooo embarrassed!!!
>> Edited by vallejo on Wednesday 22 March 16:50
>> Edited by vallejo on Wednesday 22 March 16:50
Oh now, come on! We have to pick just one??
Walking around the Christmas Market with a new lady friend we split up and went to look at different stalls. I turned around to walk back to the stall she'd gone to and saw her looking at some painted eggs or something similar. Standing behind her, I put a hand on each side of her waist, leant forward to put my head on her shoulder and asked her what she was looking at in a very soft deep voice.
As I asked, I turned to look into her eyes and she turned to look into mine. There was a very surprised look on my lady friend's face which I clearly saw 10 feet away over the shoulder of the complete stranger I was molesting.
Same coat. Same hair. Same height.
The only one on my side was the stallholder who told the two girls more than once that they really did look the same from behind!
Walking around the Christmas Market with a new lady friend we split up and went to look at different stalls. I turned around to walk back to the stall she'd gone to and saw her looking at some painted eggs or something similar. Standing behind her, I put a hand on each side of her waist, leant forward to put my head on her shoulder and asked her what she was looking at in a very soft deep voice.
As I asked, I turned to look into her eyes and she turned to look into mine. There was a very surprised look on my lady friend's face which I clearly saw 10 feet away over the shoulder of the complete stranger I was molesting.
Same coat. Same hair. Same height.
The only one on my side was the stallholder who told the two girls more than once that they really did look the same from behind!
A few years ago at Le Mans, whilst in a rather 'salubrious' state shall we say (well it was my stag weekend), some genius thought it would be a good idea to start a doughnutting competion in the campsite and I was thrown the keys to a westfield V8.
Unfortunately a rather limp 180 was followed by total understeer into a Danish chap's tent, completely demolishing it. Even though I subsequently gave the chap my tent plus money, he had the cheek to leave the tent out when they left and have their coach driver reverse over it. International relations you see.
This is not however the embarassing bit. Some chap videod the whole incident and now the damn thing is on google video for all to see. Doh! However I have no shame, so here's the link...
http://video.google.com/videoplay?doc
Unfortunately a rather limp 180 was followed by total understeer into a Danish chap's tent, completely demolishing it. Even though I subsequently gave the chap my tent plus money, he had the cheek to leave the tent out when they left and have their coach driver reverse over it. International relations you see.
This is not however the embarassing bit. Some chap videod the whole incident and now the damn thing is on google video for all to see. Doh! However I have no shame, so here's the link...
http://video.google.com/videoplay?doc
vallejo said:
I had just arrived back at Heathrow from living abroad for 18 months and a friend was picking me up. He was late and I'd been hanging around for a while when I spotted the back of him at a drinks machine so i went running over excitedly and jumped on his back...... only to find that it was a complete stranger!! Sooooo embarrassed!!!
I did that to my dad in a swimming pool when I was a nipper, only it wasn't my dad
When I first started going out with my girlfriend 6 years ago, she was putting on a dancing show through her mothers Dancing School. Me and 3 of my College buddies were drafted in for a bit of a light hearted comedy dance to ABBA.
Before going on stage we had a bit of Dutch courage and drank a litre of Vodka between us, where I had the majority of it. We went on stage and did the drunken performance which was nothing like the routine we had been rehearsing for weeks.
When we got off stage my girlfiend(of a few weeks) Mum came into our changing room to tell us off. At this point I proceeded to do a strip for her whilst humming the theme tune to the full monty.
Even after 6 years we still dont talk about it.
Before going on stage we had a bit of Dutch courage and drank a litre of Vodka between us, where I had the majority of it. We went on stage and did the drunken performance which was nothing like the routine we had been rehearsing for weeks.
When we got off stage my girlfiend(of a few weeks) Mum came into our changing room to tell us off. At this point I proceeded to do a strip for her whilst humming the theme tune to the full monty.
Even after 6 years we still dont talk about it.
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