Hang on, I ordered a...

[DickyC]

Tottered into a caff this morning and asked for a cup of tea and a slice of toast and marmalade. They gave me a cappuccino and toast and marmite.

Cuppa tea/cappuccino; okay, I can see that. Toast and marmalade/toast and marmite; yeah, all right.

But it reminded me that one lunch time in a pub with Thai food, I ordered a cheese and pickle sandwich. They made me cheese and bacon. Cold fried bacon and thick slices of uncooked cheddar. It was no good, I couldn't eat it.

Cheese and pickle/cheese and bacon; no.

[adycav]

Do you have a speech impediment?

[SC7]

I once ordered a Ploughmans and was dismayed to receive a burly, broadly-spoken gent accompanied by a shire horse.

[sneijder]

adycav said:

Do you have a speech impediment?

Cheese and pickle, Cheese and piggy ?

[TotalControl]

SC7 said:

I once ordered a Ploughmans and was dismayed to receive a burly, broadly-spoken gent accompanied by a shire horse.

[sneijder]

SC7 said:

I once ordered a Ploughmans and was dismayed to receive a burly, broadly-spoken gent accompanied by a shire horse.

I would not recommend toad in the hole followed by spotted dick in the same establishment.

[SC7]

sneijder said:

I would not recommend toad in the hole followed by spotted dick in the same establishment.

[Mr.Jimbo]

sneijder said:

SC7 said:

I once ordered a Ploughmans and was dismayed to receive a burly, broadly-spoken gent accompanied by a shire horse.

I would not recommend toad in the hole followed by spotted dick in the same establishment.

Bravo!

[zollburgers]

I have a similar problem when I ask for a pint of coke. I live down south but lived up north for the first 24 years of my life. I've had a pint of Carling (understandable but was amusing at the time as I'd told all my work mates I wasn't drinking and then came back with a Carling), a pint of Magners (??) but the most weird was a glass of rose wine (?????).

I ask for Pepsi now.

[Kays vRS]

I once ordered soup of the day and got fish pie.

A while ago I was staying at a hotel in Wales, and ordered food and asked for a pint of IPA. The waitress looked confused and said they didn't sell it, but they did as I'd already been to the bar and seen it, so I told her that, and was told again they didn't sell it. So I asked what they did sell. She reeled off a list, the last one being IPA. I pretended to ponder awhile and said 'I think I'll have an IPA please.' She wrote it down, said 'No problem' and headed off.

[Odie]

SC7 said:

I once ordered a Ploughmans and was dismayed to receive a burly, broadly-spoken gent accompanied by a shire horse.

I ordered a ploughmans and was dismayed to see it had mayonnaise in it

[Mr_S]

adycav said:

Do you have a speech impediment?

Brilliant

[SimonV8ster]

I once ordered something and it never turned up, ever.

I'm still sitting here with my serviette tucked in and my knife and fork at the ready......

[Plotloss]

SimonV8ster said:

I once ordered something and it never turned up, ever.

I'm still sitting here with my serviette tucked in and my knife and fork at the ready......

Sir, you're in a laundrette.

[Simpo Two]

SimonV8ster said:

I once ordered something and it never turned up, ever.

I'm still sitting here with my serviette tucked in and my knife and fork at the ready......

Your wife left you.

[Mobile Chicane]

I'll never forget a business meeting at a large company in Birmingham where one of the secretaries was summoned to get the coffees in.

My colleague asked for a latté. Poor girl turned up with a 'large tea'.

[shirt]

zollburgers said:

I have a similar problem when I ask for a pint of coke. I live down south but lived up north for the first 24 years of my life. I've had a pint of Carling (understandable but was amusing at the time as I'd told all my work mates I wasn't drinking and then came back with a Carling), a pint of Magners (??) but the most weird was a glass of rose wine (?????).

I ask for Pepsi now.

outside of the shire, I have to speak the queens when ordering coke.

[sneijder]

I was 16 and on a school trip in France. I don't speak French.

I asked for a Coke, guy says 'Croque monseir ?', I assumed he meant 'Coke, Sir ?'. 'Wee' I replied.

Despite being gasping for a drink, I had to play it cool when 10 minutes later I was chewing on some melted cheese sandwich monstrosity.

True story, and to this day I have never since set foot on French soil thankyouverymuch.

[DXB]

I've asked for a diet coke before and got some hideous half orange juice half coke concoction. Apparently it's quite a common mix??

[Zod]

sneijder said:

I was 16 and on a school trip in France. I don't speak French.

I asked for a Coke, guy says 'Croque monseir ?', I assumed he meant 'Coke, Sir ?'. 'Wee' I replied.

Despite being gasping for a drink, I had to play it cool when 10 minutes later I was chewing on some melted cheese sandwich monstrosity.

True story, and to this day I have never since set foot on French soil thankyouverymuch.

Yes, the French were definitely at fault there.