man up and pay her

But it wasn't a loan was it? That's what I'm saying. I meant legally, if anyone has anything constructive to say please post, as I take it the usual pistonheads sarcastic ones are out

I'm not being sarcastic but if you owe her money, pay her it back. That's about as constructive as you'll get.

I'm asking as how will is it seen on a legel front? How will the courts see it? Will they see it as a loan/being lent to me? (Which it was not) I thought I'd say that before someone says I am trying to get away without paying back

Judge Judy had a case like this last week, and she judged that it wouldn't be considered a loan in a relationship. You could ask ITV2 for a copy of the tape, but I don't know if her argument would persuade the court.

Before I start, IANAL and all that...

Generally though, there has to be an offer and an acceptance for a contract to be in force, even a verbal one. The burden of proof is upon the claimant to provide evidence of the contract being offered and accepted - with a written contract that's obviously the contract, but with a verbal contract the evidence can be a bit less direct - for example, if you transferred any money back to her at any time, that can be construed as part repayment and evidence that you agreed to pay the money back.

The fact that you were in a relationship counts in your favour; the court will accept that money is often shared between a couple.

I would feel that it should of been sorted as a loan/being lent to me rather than carrying on sending money if not received anything back. If it was to be a loan/lent why would you carry on lending if haven't received a penny back from the times you've gave it them before?

As per rest. Man up, pay up.

Unless there's any formal documentation, she'll have no chance of forcing you to pay back, especially if you shared other bills and effectively halved living costs.

Morally...I dunno. Did you believe it was a loan? Did she say something along the lines of "don't worry, I can bale you out for a bit" and you just let you subsidise you? I've been in a situation where an ex and I rented a house I simply couldn't afford - she was earning more than me so paid more of the rent, 'cos she wanted that house. The loan agreement was in my name (long story) so, like you, she stuck some money in my account every so often to make sure I didn't get completely skint.

When we split up I didn't pay her back, nor did I feel obliged to do so. That said, she never asked for it.

In that case you stand in the little wooden box that faces the Judge and listen to what he says, do as your told and hope he sides with you.

Do you have anything to show or suggest it was a gift?
Does she have anything to show or suggest it was a loan?
What arrangement did you offer her to pay the money back?

A question - you say that it is going through the courts, but have you been served with any court documentation?

It'd be worth contacting her (formally, through a lawyer) stating your position that the monies were not a loan, and were in fact a gift between two people living as a couple. Unless she has any actual documentation, that may well be enough to stop her in her tracks, and £50-100 for a lawyer's letter right now is probably money well-spent if it stops you having to go to court, which can be a time-consuming and nerve-wracking experience.