Ex - Hacked accounts, BPD, Obsession... Help /advice please
Discussion
Remembered that I had a very old chum in CID, so emailed him. Just received this.
"Hi XXXXX,
sorry to hear of your news.
As I see it you've got 3 options.
Firstly, you could go through a solicitor to seek civil redress or a none molestation order.
Secondly you can make a complaint to the police. We'd have to investigate. We'd have to prove your concerns (sounds straightforward given the evidence you've collected) then take appropriate action.
If your suspicions are proven to be correct we'd have a list of possible options available to us - not all of which would involve arrest and or prosecution, but CPS may decide to proceed depending on the circumstances and nature of the offences.
Without further information I couldn't commit to further advice. I don't know how sensitive the situation is, as I don't know your wife, but I'd have no concerns about speaking with a local officer who could go through it all and give you the best advice.
Your third option is to take no further action (but that doesn't sit well with me).
Whichever way you opt to go, let me know.
I have not recorded a crime at this time, however should you make a full complaint to us then we would look to fully recover the full details.
Best regards
XXXXX
Inspector XXXXX XXXXXX"
I am leaning towards the non-molestation order - quiet, fairly easy, no criminal proceedings.
Bearing in mind that most of the websites advising on these orders appear to be directed at female
victims of male abuse, I ask with some trepidation whether any contributors have personal experience of obtaining one?
"Hi XXXXX,
sorry to hear of your news.
As I see it you've got 3 options.
Firstly, you could go through a solicitor to seek civil redress or a none molestation order.
Secondly you can make a complaint to the police. We'd have to investigate. We'd have to prove your concerns (sounds straightforward given the evidence you've collected) then take appropriate action.
If your suspicions are proven to be correct we'd have a list of possible options available to us - not all of which would involve arrest and or prosecution, but CPS may decide to proceed depending on the circumstances and nature of the offences.
Without further information I couldn't commit to further advice. I don't know how sensitive the situation is, as I don't know your wife, but I'd have no concerns about speaking with a local officer who could go through it all and give you the best advice.
Your third option is to take no further action (but that doesn't sit well with me).
Whichever way you opt to go, let me know.
I have not recorded a crime at this time, however should you make a full complaint to us then we would look to fully recover the full details.
Best regards
XXXXX
Inspector XXXXX XXXXXX"
I am leaning towards the non-molestation order - quiet, fairly easy, no criminal proceedings.
Bearing in mind that most of the websites advising on these orders appear to be directed at female
victims of male abuse, I ask with some trepidation whether any contributors have personal experience of obtaining one?
I think the civil side (s3) of the Protection from Harassment Act would be the correct route to pursue rather than a non-molestation order (which is really for family proceedings), if you really do want it to stop. The other party can be injuncted against harassment of you based upon not only actions that have already taken place but also the apprehension of them.
Civil actions under the PHA can also include damages for both the harassment and any consequential financial losses.
If the restraining order is breached the sanction can be imprisonment.
Civil actions under the PHA can also include damages for both the harassment and any consequential financial losses.
If the restraining order is breached the sanction can be imprisonment.
OP:
Re the issue of "social engineering" I suggest you investigate whether some/all of the platforms you use support two-factor authentication. Gmail certainly does, for instance. That way, regardless of any guesswork, a password on its own will not permit a login without a secondary verification by way of mobile.
Re the issue of the behaviour itself, has your ex been diagnosed with BPD? Or is that "shorthand" for the issues you see? Do you have any responsibilities in common (children, mortgage, assets, whatever)? Is there a clean break available, or do you have to continue to deal with her?
I speak as somebody who has been married for 10 years to somebody with a confirmed diagnosis of BPD, so I know of what I speak, and would be happy to advise on strategies for dealing with the interpersonal stuff.
Re the issue of "social engineering" I suggest you investigate whether some/all of the platforms you use support two-factor authentication. Gmail certainly does, for instance. That way, regardless of any guesswork, a password on its own will not permit a login without a secondary verification by way of mobile.
Re the issue of the behaviour itself, has your ex been diagnosed with BPD? Or is that "shorthand" for the issues you see? Do you have any responsibilities in common (children, mortgage, assets, whatever)? Is there a clean break available, or do you have to continue to deal with her?
I speak as somebody who has been married for 10 years to somebody with a confirmed diagnosis of BPD, so I know of what I speak, and would be happy to advise on strategies for dealing with the interpersonal stuff.
t crazy public figure....
I would just block, ignore and start a fresh. Just try and erase her from your life..time is a great healer.
I was with a similar nut job a couple of years back - similar issues in her past etc etc so i chopped her in for a girl ive known all my life (22 years) as she is the daughter of my dads best friend and things couldn't be better. Forget the past, move on.
Going down legal routes etc keeps her in your life and her name being mentioned that bit longer and she is probably after a reaction anyway...
I was with a similar nut job a couple of years back - similar issues in her past etc etc so i chopped her in for a girl ive known all my life (22 years) as she is the daughter of my dads best friend and things couldn't be better. Forget the past, move on.
Going down legal routes etc keeps her in your life and her name being mentioned that bit longer and she is probably after a reaction anyway...
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