A friend's bizzare Domestic Violence issue, advice needed
Discussion
PopsandBangs said:
Sorry can lawyer/anyone in the know give advice here;
My friend attended the court today - they have adjourned the matter until the END OF NOVEMBER due to lack of court time to deal with thr Non Mol and Occupation Order petition.
He remains, after 7 weeks, prohibited to return to his house for now a further 2 and a half months, remains paying the entire mortage, bills, council tax etc, while his ex lives there paying zero, with her name on nothing, not on the electoral role there, no kids, not married to him, and not working. All because she has put forward false abuse claims and states she needs "protection" yet contines to stalk my friend and come near him, even after she had the order created.
What the actual f
k?
He needs lawyer. Not an internet hero. Emergency orders are possible. But he needs to pay for that advise. I feel for the bloke but unless he is willing to get serious he is going to get screwed. Stop paying for phone/sky or cars. Take the hit. And then get a solicitor to sort this mess out.My friend attended the court today - they have adjourned the matter until the END OF NOVEMBER due to lack of court time to deal with thr Non Mol and Occupation Order petition.
He remains, after 7 weeks, prohibited to return to his house for now a further 2 and a half months, remains paying the entire mortage, bills, council tax etc, while his ex lives there paying zero, with her name on nothing, not on the electoral role there, no kids, not married to him, and not working. All because she has put forward false abuse claims and states she needs "protection" yet contines to stalk my friend and come near him, even after she had the order created.
What the actual f
k?Targarama said:
Another angle. How about he tries to make up with her and get back together etc. Hopefully she will agree to this after a bit of effort. Wait a short while for everything to calm down a bit. Then kick her out properly. Possibly less hassle in the long-run?
I like this idea. Then: Change the locks? or
Sell the house and move elsewhere without her, perhaps even sell the house, put everything in storage and rent a room from a mate for a while.
If she wants to reconcile with him and it sounds like she does then that might make this whole mess go away. Then once he's back in the house change locks when she is out and leave all her possesions on the pavement.
Personally i'd have been to the Police station every time she'd tried to contact me over the 4 week period. getting the Police on side would have been a help I suspect.
However now he needs to pay for proper legal representation.
Personally i'd have been to the Police station every time she'd tried to contact me over the 4 week period. getting the Police on side would have been a help I suspect.
However now he needs to pay for proper legal representation.
Inform council you have moved out so no council tax for you. Inform utilities also.
You may want to let yourself in whilst she is out merely to obtain you spare car key. Then take car one day and park up somewhere safe.
Or
Grovel. Grovel. Then grovel some more. Get back. Then plan the exit properly.
You may want to let yourself in whilst she is out merely to obtain you spare car key. Then take car one day and park up somewhere safe.
Or
Grovel. Grovel. Then grovel some more. Get back. Then plan the exit properly.
PopsandBangs said:
Sorry can lawyer/anyone in the know give advice here;
My friend attended the court today - they have adjourned the matter until the END OF NOVEMBER due to lack of court time to deal with thr Non Mol and Occupation Order petition.
He remains, after 7 weeks, prohibited to return to his house for now a further 2 and a half months, remains paying the entire mortage, bills, council tax etc, while his ex lives there paying zero, with her name on nothing, not on the electoral role there, no kids, not married to him, and not working. All because she has put forward false abuse claims and states she needs "protection" yet contines to stalk my friend and come near him, even after she had the order created.
What the actual fk?
He owns the house - why not send in the removal guys to remove everything of his including white goods then cut off everything except gas/electric/water and put into storage.My friend attended the court today - they have adjourned the matter until the END OF NOVEMBER due to lack of court time to deal with thr Non Mol and Occupation Order petition.
He remains, after 7 weeks, prohibited to return to his house for now a further 2 and a half months, remains paying the entire mortage, bills, council tax etc, while his ex lives there paying zero, with her name on nothing, not on the electoral role there, no kids, not married to him, and not working. All because she has put forward false abuse claims and states she needs "protection" yet contines to stalk my friend and come near him, even after she had the order created.
What the actual f
k?Then change the windows, except once the old ones have been removed, the news ones are suddenly on back order till the end of November. Gets pretty chilly soon.
After all, its his house - he can do what he wants to it as long as he's not going anywhere near her?
That's probably not great practice in the real world, but if things are that bad - what's stopping him selling it from under her - or putting it up for rent?
He cant go "within 100 metres of the house, or have any representative/agent/family member/colleague to go on his behalf" !!! As stated in the order
He has got legal representation and has already paid circa £1k for it apparently
He cant go back and reconcile...he is now with another woman and as soon as his ex found out about it this Non Mol and Occupancy st began. She wants money
He has got legal representation and has already paid circa £1k for it apparently
He cant go back and reconcile...he is now with another woman and as soon as his ex found out about it this Non Mol and Occupancy s
t began. She wants moneyAs she's playing hardball your friend needs to do every little thing he can do.
Get her done for drink driving.
cancel every bill other than the essentials. This includes car insurance ect.
log every contact from her and fit cctv outside where your living now so you can tell if she is nosing round.
Get her done for drink driving.
cancel every bill other than the essentials. This includes car insurance ect.
log every contact from her and fit cctv outside where your living now so you can tell if she is nosing round.
I've seen this before. He has a lot of pain in front of him still to come. The legal system will operate slowly and he will become depressed and infuriated, but he has to keep going. He has to play by the (much skewed) rules though, or it will bite him.
On the other hand, I like the idea of reconciliation followed by comprehensive ejection, lock-changes etc.
On the other hand, I like the idea of reconciliation followed by comprehensive ejection, lock-changes etc.
PopsandBangs said:
he is now with another woman and as soon as his ex found out about it this Non Mol and Occupancy st began. She wants money
I'm not sure if I follow. t began. She wants money5 weeks ago he was forcing her out the door after 12 years together, she then starts turning the screws as she claimed to have been abused by him - now he's with another woman? This wasn't mentioned originally. If he's with someone else, why was he staying in B&B's?
He's told me he has asked his solicitor to get in touch with hers and offer a realistic financial settlement which he wants accepted by the end of today... car paid off and lump sum etc. Just to get her gone and out of his life. The run up to christmas for his business starts at the beginning of nov and he absolutley needs access to his property and home office for it-stands to lose a lot more otherwise. Ive told him it shouldnt have to come to this but the poor mans at his absolute wits end.... her owes her nothing but this cant drag on anymore and she knows it
He should have known this would happen one day, she did something very similar 10 years ago to the husband and kids she left for him. Utter freeloader
He should have known this would happen one day, she did something very similar 10 years ago to the husband and kids she left for him. Utter freeloader
Can he not go to the police station who issued it, explain that he needs to get some stuff out for business & can't dueo to the order, it'll threaten his well-being etc & a PCSO or something attend to supervise?
That way at least his business aspect will be sorted?
Then phone utilities companies etc & get everything cut off"!
That way at least his business aspect will be sorted?
Then phone utilities companies etc & get everything cut off"!
REALIST123 said:
Yet another victim of our great legal system.
And once again the only winners are the lawyers...........
Alternatively, two grown adults can't get on with life, to the extent the legal system is burdened with sorting out their dispute. Legal Aid family lawyers are not paid particularly handsomely and I'm sure they'd rather be helping secure a brighter future for some vulnerable children than be the partition between two warring, aged children.And once again the only winners are the lawyers...........
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