Portaloos put on our car park without permission!

[Crafty_]

Is there a health & safety thing here ? who is actually responsible for these things ? Lets say someone enters one and it falls over and they are injured/covered in st etc who is liable ?

I'm inclined to agree with earlier suggestions of inform the portaloo company and give them 24 hours to remove them, paste notices on the loos themselves and if they don't go move them yourself (pallet truck?).

Long term how about securing the car park with access control that only your staff know?

[Hol]

Freakuk said:

Are they unlocked?

Dirty protest :-)

This was my first thought. Get all your staff to start using them, but be none to clean about it.
Or, help yourself to his toilet rolls on a daily basis.


My next idea was a scorned car or skip placed directly on front of the toilet doors.

Perhaps even a leaflet campaign to the local homeless shelter informing them of these free toilets with the shop owners names and details on them. He is sure to st a brick if he thinks he may end up providing a public service.

Edited by Hol on Tuesday 2nd September 20:27

[anonymous-user]

happychap said:

Why would you buy into a long protracted process of contacting other businesses and authorities to resolve this issue. Move them from your property and let the Highways agency or council determine how best to clear them from the pavement.

Would that be the Highways Agency who only deal with Motorways and Trunk Rd's (Oh and old disused railway infrastructure now)
Nope I'm still struggling to see how it would be within their remit

Now if it was your regular portaloo that regularly falls off the back of a wagon onto the motorway they would deal with it, you could always try that option

So far we have had a couple of pieces of stunning misinformation,

OP do they have hooks on the roof, If so maybe you could call the RAF to sling them underneath Dr Who Tardis style and get them to dump them in the sea.

As will be noted from many other threads the BIB won't get involved because it's a civil matter innit

I wonder how many Pheaders get a Joiner to conveyance their house or a tiler to do the gardening.

[stupidbutkeen]

how many tins of foam would it take to fill the whole inside of the 2 loo's? maybe even join them together in a expandable foam cake type peace of modern art?

or real strong glue type stuff, place them on a lot of pallets and glue them to the wall as high as you can get them, remove pallets.

[supermono]

stupidbutkeen said:

how many tins of foam would it take to fill the whole inside of the 2 loo's? maybe even join them together in a expandable foam cake type peace of modern art?

or real strong glue type stuff, place them on a lot of pallets and glue them to the wall as high as you can get them, remove pallets.

Brilliant

[happychap]

Would that be the Highways Agency who only deal with Motorways and Trunk Rd's (Oh and old disused railway infrastructure now)
Nope I'm still struggling to see how it would be within their remit smile

Now if it was your regular portaloo that regularly falls off the back of a wagon onto the motorway they would deal with it, you could always try that option smile

Good point, still not sure why anyone would in this situation would not just move them out of the car park.

[Pit Pony]

I'd phone another portaloo company, and sell them as 'used' for a penny. As long as they can clear the obstruction without staining.

[anonymous-user]

Pit Pony said:

I'd phone another portaloo company, and sell them as 'used' for a penny. As long as they can clear the obstruction without staining.

The other portaloo company would be spending a penny... and getting some nice new equipment.

Sorry, had to get it out of my cistern.

[stupidbutkeen]

Move them out of sight and stick a small camping portaloo/real loo to the outside of his door. Put a shower screen around it just at a height that you would see over the top of the screen if you sat on the loo for added effect.

[Jayessgee]

Hugo a Gogo said:

if they are just moved overnight the company will have nothing to go on

Subtle!

[SpeedMattersNot]

Are you in the 3 counties? It's the type of story JVS on the BBC Three Counties Radio show would love to deal with, I'm sure of it!

[ging84]

i think it would be perfectly legal for you to take a st in any toilet on your property and leave it as you expected to find it, which in the case of a portaloo is in an absolutely disgusting state,
so go in there with some plastic gloves take a st nowhere near the toilet and smear it up the walls

this isn't really a helpful solution but might make you feel better

[Mr SFJ]

Mr GrimNasty said:

speedyguy said:

Mr SFJ said:

I'd ask each individual shop manager/owner if they have anything to do with them, if they say no, then say "Ok no worries, if they're still there in 24 hours I'll report them as abandoned to the council"

What do you expect the council to do about something dumped on PRIVATE land

Yeh, the situation will just get crapper, they will bog you down in red tape.

Perhaps, (I don't know) but the council may take an interest if it's hazardous waste. Perhaps a "concerned community member" could report them as on public land after the miraculously moved by themselves...

badumtshhhh

[Galsia]

Move them into the street overnight and then fill them with concrete.

[rj1986]

swerni said:

Gumtree or one of the local "give stuff away" sites

Collection only FOC please help yourself.

Or (as suggested earlier in the post) maybe some members of the local traveling community would like some?

Not sure if it's do-able, but if you're 100% certain the shop owner owns them and has 0% right to the property, remove them and invoice him for the removal fee - a la private car parks?

[anonymous-user]

The problem seems to have temporarily and mysteriously sorted itself overnight.

The toilets have been dragged across the car park and squeezed into the rear yard of a neighbouring shop premises (which is currently vacant).

They only just fit in and can't be used where they are.
I presume they will be dragged out again into position when required for the upcoming events.

I can only assume this is as a result of our complaints to the portaloo company who may have spoken to the customer.

Watch this space.

[Getragdogleg]

now fill the car park right up with snotters. don't even need to be legal becasue its private property.


Bonus points for tactical parking that enables you to move a snotter to carry on parking your car there.

[MacW]

NinjaPower said:

The problem seems to have temporarily and mysteriously sorted itself overnight.

The toilets have been dragged across the car park and squeezed into the rear yard of a neighbouring shop premises (which is currently vacant).

They only just fit in and can't be used where they are.
I presume they will be dragged out again into position when required for the upcoming events.

I can only assume this is as a result of our complaints to the portaloo company who may have spoken to the customer.

Watch this space.

Excellent!

Now ring the landlord of the vacant property and ask him if he knows his land is being used as storage.

Maybe park a single snotter blocking access to the loos too

[JustinP1]

Don't forget your drill so you can get some frozen sausages in them before they come back.

[mickk]

NinjaPower said:

I can only assume this is as a result of our complaints to the portaloo company who may have spoken to the customer.

Watch this space.

Or the Portaloo customer reads Pistonheads.