Amusing misuse of a police car.....
Discussion
I thought this might kick start an amusing thread.
I've just spent the morning with a mate who is a retired traffic policeman. As you can imagine after 30 or so years on the roads in uniform, he has some takes to tell.
He told me this one today.
The guys had just taken delivery of a new Range Rover traffic car. The original 2 door. It was fitted with a telescopic masr which carried floodlights for use at the scene of an incident.
One crew thought it might prove useful in their "hobby" of shooting rabbits. They took it out to the moors extended the light and using an air rifle, collected a bag of bunnies for dinner. The floodlight worked like a charm.
It would not retract at the end of their poaching mission. Apparently it wasn't supposed to be used on the move and had somehow got bent..... The Range Rover was returned to the workshop covered in mud with a partially extended and crooked mast. It had to go back to the makers to have a new one installed at great expense.
I understand there were "consequences" for those involved.
Most of the telescopic masts are made by Clark and I've done a fair few miles in both Range Rovers and Discoveries equipped with them. You'd have to be bonkers to drive at any speed with it up, even retracted it's a lot of weight high up. Pretty stout things too, you'd have to be going some and have no mechanical sympathy to bend one.
If you saw the mast equipped BBC Range Rover at either Gaydon when the last Range Rover ever was delivered, or at the Bromley Pageant of Motoring, I was the driver.
If you saw the mast equipped BBC Range Rover at either Gaydon when the last Range Rover ever was delivered, or at the Bromley Pageant of Motoring, I was the driver.
A sergeant in Beds took over a shift and on night duty was told that the habit was that while a neighbouring division covered for them, they would have a ‘mess night’, a dinner for all the shift.
The night was chosen and the night before the divisional minivan, two shotguns, and torch were taken by the sergeant and the chef to a golf course, the intention being for jugged hare.
They were quite successful but then a call came over the radio that the sound of firing was reported in their general area. In order to calm things the sergeant got on the radio and said that he was on scene and approaching people with shotguns.
Cars came from all over, it being a quiet night. Greens and fairways, not designed for heavy braking and sudden turns, were sacrificed and one patrol car got stuck in a bunker to the extent that they needed more than a sand wedge to remove it.
The divisional super attended from home and the sergeant discussed matters whilst three brace of rabbits quietly bled in the back of the minvan.
No real harm done, apart from to the golf course.
The night was chosen and the night before the divisional minivan, two shotguns, and torch were taken by the sergeant and the chef to a golf course, the intention being for jugged hare.
They were quite successful but then a call came over the radio that the sound of firing was reported in their general area. In order to calm things the sergeant got on the radio and said that he was on scene and approaching people with shotguns.
Cars came from all over, it being a quiet night. Greens and fairways, not designed for heavy braking and sudden turns, were sacrificed and one patrol car got stuck in a bunker to the extent that they needed more than a sand wedge to remove it.
The divisional super attended from home and the sergeant discussed matters whilst three brace of rabbits quietly bled in the back of the minvan.
No real harm done, apart from to the golf course.
Good friend of mine, way back in the 80's was put on the 'beat' on a very cold & windy night shift in December in the middle of Cheltenham, something he was not best pleased to be doing.
This was his story...
All was very quiet at 3am, so he walked up this ally to shelter from the wind, propped up against a very high boundary brick wall to a factory, so he could have a quiet 'fag' without being seen by his Sergeant who he knew was patrolling in the vicinity.
a couple of minutes in, puffing away in the dark... he suddenly felt boots trying to make purchase on his shoulders! He spun around and grabbed some legs dangling in front of him and unceremoniously yanked hard. Over, came a very surprised and startled perp who landed at his feet, complete with bag of various tools which spilled out with a clatter.
My mate immediately arrested said scrote, just as his Sergeant turned the corner... who rushed up & leant a hand.... and congratulated his constable for being so diligent in his job!
This was his story...
All was very quiet at 3am, so he walked up this ally to shelter from the wind, propped up against a very high boundary brick wall to a factory, so he could have a quiet 'fag' without being seen by his Sergeant who he knew was patrolling in the vicinity.
a couple of minutes in, puffing away in the dark... he suddenly felt boots trying to make purchase on his shoulders! He spun around and grabbed some legs dangling in front of him and unceremoniously yanked hard. Over, came a very surprised and startled perp who landed at his feet, complete with bag of various tools which spilled out with a clatter.
My mate immediately arrested said scrote, just as his Sergeant turned the corner... who rushed up & leant a hand.... and congratulated his constable for being so diligent in his job!
Daz68 said:
I work next to a Police Traffic garage and sometimes get to chat to a few of them. Sometimes when they get the new cars they have drag runs down the dual carriageway late at night to see which car is quickest.
The sound of the old T5 going flat out down the motorway was quite impressive when you're stood on the h\s at 3am with no other sounds around. You can hear the whistle from quite a distance 
FuryExocet said:
The sound of the old T5 going flat out down the motorway was quite impressive when you're stood on the h\s at 3am with no other sounds around. You can hear the whistle from quite a distance
Must be why that bike cop let me off last year when I mistook him for a normal biker and blasted away from him at well over 100 in my 850 T5. FuryExocet said:
Daz68 said:
I work next to a Police Traffic garage and sometimes get to chat to a few of them. Sometimes when they get the new cars they have drag runs down the dual carriageway late at night to see which car is quickest.
The sound of the old T5 going flat out down the motorway was quite impressive when you're stood on the h\s at 3am with no other sounds around. You can hear the whistle from quite a distance 
Burrito said:
Some years ago, I'm guessing before airwaves and tracking, I heard that on a quiet night crews would see how far they could get away and back before the end of their shift.
From central Cornwall to inside the M25 was alleged.
Yep, obtain station stamp from the furthest away station and win a prize! From central Cornwall to inside the M25 was alleged.
FuryExocet said:
The sound of the old T5 going flat out down the motorway was quite impressive when you're stood on the h\s at 3am with no other sounds around. You can hear the whistle from quite a distance
If they were anything like ours it was probably the badly fitted light bars making most of the noise. I live in a rural area, and friend of mine was temporally banned from driving police vehicles for a period of time as he was on duty one night and was very bored, so decided to take a Ford Maverick patrol car off-roading to amuse himself.
He got it stuck and had to phone for help.
When grilled by his superiors he said he was "familiarising himself with the vehicle and testing its capabilities in case he needed to go off road in an emergency"
Still got in trouble for it.
He got it stuck and had to phone for help.
When grilled by his superiors he said he was "familiarising himself with the vehicle and testing its capabilities in case he needed to go off road in an emergency"
Still got in trouble for it.
Did something similar once. Middle of the night and went exploring a remote, derelict hospital grounds. (In fairness there had been loads of nettle thefts there). Luckily managed to get hold of traffic and got towed out. Car needed a good clean, but apart from that, no one else was any the wiser!
Just remembered an incident when I helped out the plod...
I was down at the beach one day walking the dog with my girlfriend, when we went to drive out of the car park, a Ford Focus estate police car with a lady PC driving entered it.
There were no other cars around and all she did was drive in a big circle at the end of the car park to come back out again, and I was watching in the rear view mirror thinking "She's going to get that stuck" as she had strayed off the main hardcore surface of the car park into the deep and soft pea-gravel round the edges.
Sure enough I watched her Focus sink right into the gravel and get stuck!
After I stopped laughing, I thought I should really lend a hand and reversed up to find the poor PC nearly in tears as she told me she was fairly new to the job and only started going out on her own recently, plus she had just moved to Cumbria from East London. She was absolutely beside herself at the thought of having to ring the station, get b
ked, and endure the never ending piss-taking about getting a car stuck.
I got the tow rope out of the van, and pulled her out.
She was really quite grateful
I was down at the beach one day walking the dog with my girlfriend, when we went to drive out of the car park, a Ford Focus estate police car with a lady PC driving entered it.
There were no other cars around and all she did was drive in a big circle at the end of the car park to come back out again, and I was watching in the rear view mirror thinking "She's going to get that stuck" as she had strayed off the main hardcore surface of the car park into the deep and soft pea-gravel round the edges.
Sure enough I watched her Focus sink right into the gravel and get stuck!
After I stopped laughing, I thought I should really lend a hand and reversed up to find the poor PC nearly in tears as she told me she was fairly new to the job and only started going out on her own recently, plus she had just moved to Cumbria from East London. She was absolutely beside herself at the thought of having to ring the station, get b
ked, and endure the never ending piss-taking about getting a car stuck.I got the tow rope out of the van, and pulled her out.
She was really quite grateful
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