Risk of girlfriend 'taking half' some day?
Discussion
M3CS said:
NathanJones said:
Have a rental contract drawn up to cover you on all aspects, seems fair to me, if she is wanting to move in then she should have no objections.
The reason I'm asking you guys (which I should have said up front - apologies) is I mooted the idea of us having "something written down". It didn't go down well. Hence, I thought I'd see if it is really necessary (to address a genuine risk of future litigation), before insisting upon this with her (and having the inevitable argument).
Bloody hell guys believe it or not women are not demons to be treated with instant scorn. I'm not surprised she wasn't impressed when offered with a "sign this bit of paper in case we break up".
The daily mail link, and all comments in line with it, should be ignored. That is totally different. If you live with her and her children for the next 10-12 years, growing and developing as a family unit then I'm not surprised the court feel she is entitled to something. There is more than can be offered to a relationship then raw cash.
i say again, op, worry about this now and take that attitude now and things will fail, but she won't get anything. Go in with some common sense, and leave her to pay a generic amount for bills/groceries and if she leaves in 5 years time she won't get a penny.
Have a bit of faith.
The daily mail link, and all comments in line with it, should be ignored. That is totally different. If you live with her and her children for the next 10-12 years, growing and developing as a family unit then I'm not surprised the court feel she is entitled to something. There is more than can be offered to a relationship then raw cash.
i say again, op, worry about this now and take that attitude now and things will fail, but she won't get anything. Go in with some common sense, and leave her to pay a generic amount for bills/groceries and if she leaves in 5 years time she won't get a penny.
Have a bit of faith.
It's not really a great surprise why one might take offence at the suggestion that written contracts be drawn up, no matter how logical it might sound. You're tacitly saying that you don't have confidence that the relationship will last, or that she's "the one".
She, on the other hand, might be thinking (or maybe now thought) that you were The One, or at least wasn't considering that you might not be.
Frankly suggesting that you draw up contracts isn't far removed from suggesting that you both see other people.
Doesn't solve your predicament of course, but hopefully you can see why she might've taken offence.
She, on the other hand, might be thinking (or maybe now thought) that you were The One, or at least wasn't considering that you might not be.
Frankly suggesting that you draw up contracts isn't far removed from suggesting that you both see other people.
Doesn't solve your predicament of course, but hopefully you can see why she might've taken offence.
think out of the BOX.
Get her to provide an equal equity stake, and pay half the mortgage, and buy something bigger, and take in a lodger to pay your half of the mortgage, and then when the s
t hits the fan, you've still got half of your share.
Mate of mine has a rental agreement with his girlfriend that is identical to the rental agreement I had with him.
I rented a single bedroom, with shared access to the family bathroom, kitchen, lounge garden and shed, for £250, all inclusive, and when I left, she moved in and got her own room.
If she has a claim on his house, then don't I have a claim. The only difference is that I haven't shagged him, so if she made money out of shagging him that would be prostitution (wouldn't it?)
Get her to provide an equal equity stake, and pay half the mortgage, and buy something bigger, and take in a lodger to pay your half of the mortgage, and then when the s
t hits the fan, you've still got half of your share. Mate of mine has a rental agreement with his girlfriend that is identical to the rental agreement I had with him.
I rented a single bedroom, with shared access to the family bathroom, kitchen, lounge garden and shed, for £250, all inclusive, and when I left, she moved in and got her own room.
If she has a claim on his house, then don't I have a claim. The only difference is that I haven't shagged him, so if she made money out of shagging him that would be prostitution (wouldn't it?)
Think inside the box and give her a chance maybe? Even if things don't work out it is highly highly highly unlikely she is suddenly gunna lawyer up, and go to court with a few dozen grocery receipts and Internet bills demanding ownership of the house. It just won't happen!! As ever with relationships, over think it and every possible route is a bad one....
garyhun said:
Pixelpeep7r said:
Really?
Could it not be argued that her being there and paying for other things allowed the OP to purchase the house where as otherwise he could not?
Also, what happened to that 'need to keep someone to the lifestyle they have become accustomed to' ?
Yes really.Could it not be argued that her being there and paying for other things allowed the OP to purchase the house where as otherwise he could not?
Also, what happened to that 'need to keep someone to the lifestyle they have become accustomed to' ?
There is no such thing as common law wife - no marriage, no worry as long as no contribution. Obviously this all changes should they have kids together.
http://www.pistonheads.com/gassing/topic.asp?h=0&a...
Centurion07 said:
You asked yourself why....?
It's very easy to say that. Consider this.... I've had to save up for this house for over a decade, so I'm naturally going to consider any risks which might mean losing substantial proportions of what little wealth I've worked so very hard to build up (for 8 years more than I've known my girlfriend!).The fact is that many relationships fail, especially when people begin to live together. It's probably when you learn the most about them.
I obviously realised what I said to my girlfriend would lead to her having questions in her head, but I needed to ask. She could have been fine with it, believe it or not...she's a very reasonable person and listens to others' point of view. If that had happened, I'd not be here talking to PistonHeads about something other than fast cars and Welshbeef's latest 'purchase'!
When you take out insurance on a car, you're not declaring "I think I will crash" nor does having insurance mean you're fated to crash. To think something like a cohabitation agreement is a declaration that you think you've got no future together is a bit juvenile, in my humble opinion. If that's what she thinks, I want to talk about it like adults rather than just shying away from it and thinking "it will all work out fine". Before I do that, I'm here asking you guys if it's even necessary to pursue talking about it with her, from a future litigation risk standpoint - leaving aside how you'd personally handle it with your significant other.
So, thanks to those who actually gave their opinion in response to the core question, instead of critiquing my relationship skills.
M3CS said:
It's very easy to say that. Consider this.... I've had to save up for this house for over a decade, so I'm naturally going to consider any risks which might mean losing substantial proportions of what little wealth I've worked so very hard to build up (for 8 years more than I've known my girlfriend!).
The fact is that many relationships fail, especially when people begin to live together. It's probably when you learn the most about them.
I obviously realised what I said to my girlfriend would lead to her having questions in her head, but I needed to ask. She could have been fine with it, believe it or not...she's a very reasonable person and listens to others' point of view. If that had happened, I'd not be here talking to PistonHeads about something other than fast cars and Welshbeef's latest 'purchase'!
When you take out insurance on a car, you're not declaring "I think I will crash" nor does having insurance mean you're fated to crash. To think something like a cohabitation agreement is a declaration that you think you've got no future together is a bit juvenile, in my humble opinion. If that's what she thinks, I want to talk about it like adults rather than just shying away from it and thinking "it will all work out fine". Before I do that, I'm here asking you guys if it's even necessary to pursue talking about it with her, from a future litigation risk standpoint - leaving aside how you'd personally handle it with your significant other.
So, thanks to those who actually gave their opinion in response to the core question, instead of critiquing my relationship skills.
Indeed, mine was fine with it - and it echoed her view on things also. Just helps to have something in writing, as if things went pete-tong further down the line, you have, at least, a bit of protection against "The Mental".The fact is that many relationships fail, especially when people begin to live together. It's probably when you learn the most about them.
I obviously realised what I said to my girlfriend would lead to her having questions in her head, but I needed to ask. She could have been fine with it, believe it or not...she's a very reasonable person and listens to others' point of view. If that had happened, I'd not be here talking to PistonHeads about something other than fast cars and Welshbeef's latest 'purchase'!
When you take out insurance on a car, you're not declaring "I think I will crash" nor does having insurance mean you're fated to crash. To think something like a cohabitation agreement is a declaration that you think you've got no future together is a bit juvenile, in my humble opinion. If that's what she thinks, I want to talk about it like adults rather than just shying away from it and thinking "it will all work out fine". Before I do that, I'm here asking you guys if it's even necessary to pursue talking about it with her, from a future litigation risk standpoint - leaving aside how you'd personally handle it with your significant other.
So, thanks to those who actually gave their opinion in response to the core question, instead of critiquing my relationship skills.
M3CS said:
Centurion07 said:
You asked yourself why....?
It's very easy to say that. Consider this.... I've had to save up for this house for over a decade, so I'm naturally going to consider any risks which might mean losing substantial proportions of what little wealth I've worked so very hard to build up (for 8 years more than I've known my girlfriend!).The fact is that many relationships fail, especially when people begin to live together. It's probably when you learn the most about them.
I obviously realised what I said to my girlfriend would lead to her having questions in her head, but I needed to ask. She could have been fine with it, believe it or not...she's a very reasonable person and listens to others' point of view. If that had happened, I'd not be here talking to PistonHeads about something other than fast cars and Welshbeef's latest 'purchase'!
When you take out insurance on a car, you're not declaring "I think I will crash" nor does having insurance mean you're fated to crash. To think something like a cohabitation agreement is a declaration that you think you've got no future together is a bit juvenile, in my humble opinion. If that's what she thinks, I want to talk about it like adults rather than just shying away from it and thinking "it will all work out fine". Before I do that, I'm here asking you guys if it's even necessary to pursue talking about it with her, from a future litigation risk standpoint - leaving aside how you'd personally handle it with your significant other.
So, thanks to those who actually gave their opinion in response to the core question, instead of critiquing my relationship skills.
Cyberprog said:
It's known as a co-habitation agreement - and it's something I'm having drawn up as part of my house purchase, as I'm the one who's got the money not my GF. If we get married at a later date, well, that's a different kettle of fish.
^^^ tell her the lender are insistent upon it.Tribal Chestnut said:
Cyberprog said:
It's known as a co-habitation agreement - and it's something I'm having drawn up as part of my house purchase, as I'm the one who's got the money not my GF. If we get married at a later date, well, that's a different kettle of fish.
^^^ tell her the lender are insistent upon it.Boyfriend of daughter is moving into her house soon, so he is signing up to a lodger agreement, that is a licence to rent a room, check it out on the net, very handy little thing, remember to inform the insurance people you have another occupant and your mortgage people, the taxman allows upto 4k per year tax free for the "hire" of the "room".
I've never really got these threads.
The girl you love, the one you want to make a life with, have children with, share your feelings, thoughts is moving in.
But you are worried about some fable of her taking half......
I can understand why she feels a little putout, it's not exactly in the spirit of the moment.
The girl you love, the one you want to make a life with, have children with, share your feelings, thoughts is moving in.
But you are worried about some fable of her taking half......
I can understand why she feels a little putout, it's not exactly in the spirit of the moment.
Du1point8 said:
not quite correct, look at this thread I started:
http://www.pistonheads.com/gassing/topic.asp?h=0&a...
Covered earlier in this thread - very different scenario.http://www.pistonheads.com/gassing/topic.asp?h=0&a...
This is a girlfriend, right?
Will the OP and the lady be sharing a bed?
Will they be indulging in between-the-sheets activities?
There are no kids involved at the moment, but things will NOT stay that way unless there is something medically wrong (or deliberately and permanently altered) with one of the parties.
Will the OP and the lady be sharing a bed?
Will they be indulging in between-the-sheets activities?
There are no kids involved at the moment, but things will NOT stay that way unless there is something medically wrong (or deliberately and permanently altered) with one of the parties.
M3CS said:
If my girlfriend moves in, then later on we have a messy break up and she decides to be vindictive (as I had with an ex), could she make any kind of 'claim' on the property?
The bottom line is yes she could try. Whether or not she would succeed depends on lots of different factors, a financial contribution being just one.In reality though, it is still vary rare for someone who doesn't own the property to try to make a claim on it as the legal costs to do so are considerable. And usually the looser picks up both parties costs.
At the end of the day, life and love is full of risks. If you don't take the risks you probably wont have much of either ....
surveyor said:
I've never really got these threads.
The girl you love, the one you want to make a life with, have children with, share your feelings, thoughts is moving in.
But you are worried about some fable of her taking half......
I can understand why she feels a little putout, it's not exactly in the spirit of the moment.
Maybe it's because ALL relationships start off as you describe, even the ones that fail. So regardless of the feelings at the start, since no-one is able to predict the future it seems fairly sensible for OP to want to protect what is his.The girl you love, the one you want to make a life with, have children with, share your feelings, thoughts is moving in.
But you are worried about some fable of her taking half......
I can understand why she feels a little putout, it's not exactly in the spirit of the moment.
Why not keep both properties? See each other 2/3 times a week, weekends, perhaps as well. She stays at your place from time to time and you stay at her place from time to time as well.
Nobody moves in, that way you keep the excitement going and nobody can have a claim on the others property.
Nobody moves in, that way you keep the excitement going and nobody can have a claim on the others property.
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