White van man - rules of the road explained

[Mr2Mike]

Pip1968 said:

9. Remain in the outside lane no matter how empty the inside lanes are and despite the fact that your 0-60 time is well outside 10 seconds.

They get very stroppy when you pass them on the inside as well for some reason.

[eatcustard]

20. Driving on the wrong side of the road is allowed between the hours 6am and 5pm Monday to Friday

[Mysterae]

21. No tools are kept in this van overnight.

The tools are only present during the day...

[Monkeylegend]

22. I will stop and let you out at junctions unlike most car drivers.

[AndStilliRise]

23. I will verbally attack you using every swear word known to man.
24. Regardless of where you were born i will tell you to go back to you own country
(I have heard this for 30yrs, seriously anything new?)

[nutsytvr]

dirkgently said:

One day when I retire and have time I will catalogue the list of faults of drivers of German cars, but I may not live long enough.

Dirk has read my profile. If he can read, he isnt a white van man.....

[Short Grain]

[quote=AndStilliRise]23. I will verbally attack you using every swear word known to man.

Had WVM cut me up on the M62, 4-5 months ago. I made the mistake of giving him the 'Coffee Beans' gesture, to have him chase me at J28 as I was leaving the motorway, me in the far right lane to go around the roundabout, him 2 lanes over to go straight on. He was hanging out of his window Screaming at me how he would F*CK me up with the iron bar he kept in the van for that reason!! Drivers in between us could clearly hear the twunt but that didn't stop him.

I 'may' have wound him up slightly by blowing him a kiss at that point! Lights change and he stalled. I did giggle a little bit at that point but was honestly relieved to pull up behind a BIB further round the r/about.

There are some serious nutters driving these vans! I have 2 WVMs who I deal with on a day to day basis, both Good Guys, and both very good at getting stuff where I want it, neither are nutters though!

[Toaster Pilot]

Short Grain]ndStilliRise said:

23. I will verbally attack you using every swear word known to man.

Had WVM cut me up on the M62, 4-5 months ago. I made the mistake of giving him the 'Coffee Beans' gesture, to have him chase me at J28 as I was leaving the motorway, me in the far right lane to go around the roundabout, him 2 lanes over to go straight on. He was hanging out of his window Screaming at me how he would F*CK me up with the iron bar he kept in the van for that reason!! Drivers in between us could clearly hear the twunt but that didn't stop him.

I 'may' have wound him up slightly by blowing him a kiss at that point! Lights change and he stalled. I did giggle a little bit at that point but was honestly relieved to pull up behind a BIB further round the r/about.

There are some serious nutters driving these vans! I have 2 WVMs who I deal with on a day to day basis, both Good Guys, and both very good at getting stuff where I want it, neither are nutters though!

Found a wheel brace tucked down the side of the drivers seat of my used van!

Which is white, and you can all bks off!

[LoonR1]

Short Grain said:

Had WVM cut me up on the M62, 4-5 months ago. I made the mistake of giving him the 'Coffee Beans' gesture, to have him chase me at J28 as I was leaving the motorway, me in the far right lane to go around the roundabout, him 2 lanes over to go straight on. He was hanging out of his window Screaming at me how he would F*CK me up with the iron bar he kept in the van for that reason!! Drivers in between us could clearly hear the twunt but that didn't stop him.

I 'may' have wound him up slightly by blowing him a kiss at that point! Lights change and he stalled. I did giggle a little bit at that point but was honestly relieved to pull up behind a BIB further round the r/about.

There are some serious nutters driving these vans! I have 2 WVMs who I deal with on a day to day basis, both Good Guys, and both very good at getting stuff where I want it, neither are nutters though!

And you're one of them. You pretty well deserved what you got. If you're going to wind people up, then expect a reaction. What WVM did was far from acceptable but then so were your actions. If you walked up to anyone in the street and gave them the "coffee beans" then quite a few people would react violently to you.

[Monkeylegend]

LoonR1 said:

Short Grain said:

Had WVM cut me up on the M62, 4-5 months ago. I made the mistake of giving him the 'Coffee Beans' gesture, to have him chase me at J28 as I was leaving the motorway, me in the far right lane to go around the roundabout, him 2 lanes over to go straight on. He was hanging out of his window Screaming at me how he would F*CK me up with the iron bar he kept in the van for that reason!! Drivers in between us could clearly hear the twunt but that didn't stop him.

I 'may' have wound him up slightly by blowing him a kiss at that point! Lights change and he stalled. I did giggle a little bit at that point but was honestly relieved to pull up behind a BIB further round the r/about.

There are some serious nutters driving these vans! I have 2 WVMs who I deal with on a day to day basis, both Good Guys, and both very good at getting stuff where I want it, neither are nutters though!

And you're one of them. You pretty well deserved what you got. If you're going to wind people up, then expect a reaction. What WVM did was far from acceptable but then so were your actions. If you walked up to anyone in the street and gave them the "coffee beans" then quite a few people would react violently to you.

Yes, it could Costa you big time.

[nutsytvr]

What is a coffee beans gesture. Is it new, like the unknown quinell?

[LoonR1]

nutsytvr said:

What is a coffee beans gesture. Is it new, like the unknown quinell?

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Nescafe%20Handshake

[caduceus]

LoonR1 said:

If you're going to wind people up, then expect a reaction.

[MarshPhantom]

Mysterae said:

21. No tools are kept in this van overnight.

The tools are only present during the day...

One tool in van.

[LoonR1]

caduceus said:

LoonR1 said:

If you're going to wind people up, then expect a reaction.

I expect a reaction. I get one regardless of what I post quite often.

[BOF]

A classic reaction???

Two shopfitters having lunch - one says "I bet you a fiver some old pensioner knocks on that window and asks what we are selling!"

Up comes the old git and does ask "What are you selling?"

Shopfitter replies "Arseh0les Madam"

Old lady..."You are doing really well...you only have two left"

BOF

[4rephill]

25. I may stop anywhere I choose, at any time, regardless of reason, and regardless of roads, surroundings or obstructions I may cause, providing I switch on My "Stop where you like" hazard warning lights.

[Nik Gnashers]

The only moron's here are the ones posting stereotype accusations about white van drivers.
You could just as easily aim any of the 'points' (I use the term loosely) at lorry drivers, bus drivers, motorbikers, taxi drivers, audi drivers, bmw drivers etc etc etc .....
Have any of you idiots ever driven a van for a living ... no ... thought not.
Driving a large vehicle with a logo and phone number on the side makes you drive a lot more carefully then being inside an anonymous car, people are much more likely to phone up and complain to the company, and if they do, the company if it's anything like mine, will immediately drag you into a disciplinary meeting with human resources, regardless of any evidence provided (ie the phone call alone is enough evidence, even if it is completely fabricated).
Just because you have a bad experience with one van driver, you immediately label all van drivers the same, you complete hypocrites.
As regards parking, I'll bet most van drivers know all of the rules and you don't, because they have to know them as part of their driver training.
How do you think products and goods actually get to the shops / your house huh ?
Grow up, and stop being pathetic.

Edited by Nik Gnashers on Sunday 11th January 20:47

[LoonR1]

Nik Gnashers said:

The only moron's here are the ones posting stereotype accusations about white van drivers.
You could just as easily aim any of the 'points' (I use the term loosely) at lorry drivers, bus drivers, motorbikers, taxi drivers, audi drivers, bmw drivers etc etc etc .....
Have any of you idiots ever driven a van for a living ... no ... thought not.
Driving a large vehicle with a logo and phone number on the side makes you drive a lot more carefully then being inside an anonymous car, people are much more likely to phone up and complain to the company, and if they do, the company if it's anything like mine, will immediately drag you into a disciplinary meeting with human resources, regardless of any evidence provided (ie the phone call alone is enough evidence, even if it is completely fabricated).
Just because you have a bad experience with one van driver, you immediately label all van drivers the same, you complete hypocrites.
As regards parking, I'll bet most van drivers know all of the rules and you don't, because they have to know them as part of their driver training.
How do you think products and goods actually get to the shops / your house huh ?
Grow up, and stop being pathetic.

Edited by Nik Gnashers on Sunday 11th January 20:47

Not worth bothering as they're all so much better than mere van drivers on here. Didn't you know most of them are goatee sporting, red bull drinking, multiple company directors?

[sunbeam alpine]

I don't have a white van, but I do have a couple of green ones.

I like the look of some of these rules. Can I (mis)use them even though my vans are the wrong colour?