White van man - rules of the road explained

[LoonR1]

V8 Fettler said:

LoonR1 said:

30a. I'm a poorly endowed, mid size family saloon car driver and am unable to cope with a van overtaking me, so I will speed up by at least 15 mph to try to prevent this on Amy motorway or dual carriageway. If I succeed then I'll drop back to my original speed and we'll play this game all day long. If I fail, then I'll either look at my speedo and then you as you pass me, or will pretend to play with the SatNav / radio to hide my embarassment. When I get home, I will beat my wife up in frustration at my failure at being male.

Is this some sort of confession?

The majority of the "rules" on here have been written in the first person, yet you choose mine to suggest it's a confession.

allergictocheese said:

30b. I'm a poorly endowed, mid size family saloon car driver who also has a white van and a litre bike. I go out on a Sunday morning on my bike and use my immense acceleration to pass any car in front of me because cars are slow. I then reach some bends and hold up the cars I've passed because I'm rubbish at riding around corners. When I get to the pub I brag to my mates about how I was the fastest thing on the road on my thou' then go home and beat up my wife, kids and mother in law.


We can play this game all day long!

Well, we are stereotyping, so fair enough. I do like the assumption, that I can't corner though.

[allergictocheese]

Oh Loon, I wasn't lampooning you, you track riding superstar, you!

[LoonR1]

allergictocheese said:

Oh Loon, I wasn't lampooning you, you track riding superstar, you!

I said I liked it, also the stereotyping was good too.

The reactions of drivers to vans is quite strange though. I picked up some stuff yesterday and driving back along the M6 pretty well every driver sped up whilst being overtaken and all of them stared at me with a look of anger as I went past at the dizzying speeds of an indicated 80mph

[allergictocheese]

Nothing induces penis-rage more than being in charge of a motor powered object surrounded by other males in motor powered objects. First rule of testosterone.

[V8 Fettler]

LoonR1 said:

V8 Fettler said:

LoonR1 said:

30a. I'm a poorly endowed, mid size family saloon car driver and am unable to cope with a van overtaking me, so I will speed up by at least 15 mph to try to prevent this on Amy motorway or dual carriageway. If I succeed then I'll drop back to my original speed and we'll play this game all day long. If I fail, then I'll either look at my speedo and then you as you pass me, or will pretend to play with the SatNav / radio to hide my embarassment. When I get home, I will beat my wife up in frustration at my failure at being male.

Is this some sort of confession?

The majority of the "rules" on here have been written in the first person, yet you choose mine to suggest it's a confession.

You appear to think that I've read the rest of the thread.

Please accept my apologies if you were offended by my question.

[Hooli]

LoonR1 said:

Hooli said:

Yup, been there done that. 7.5t, coaches n buses too.

Oddly enough the worst driving (by me & others) was tyically in the unsignwritten white vans that this thread is about.

I've got one of those. It's usually loaded with a bike of some description in the back though.

We've got a white van as our only car currently, it's ideal for house renovations. It has had bikes in the bike once, bit of a bugger to lift them in as it's too small to use a ramp.

Handbrake turns well in icy weather...

[Horse Pop]

This thread was merely funny till the van drivers got involved. Now it's hilarious.

[IainT]

Upatdawn said:

Try being a multidrop van driver, say 300 drops a day, then come back and tell us how many you managed....

Assuming an unlikely quick 5 mins per drop that's a 25 hour day... I have a feeling most would struggle.

[Monkeylegend]

IainT said:

Upatdawn said:

Try being a multidrop van driver, say 300 drops a day, then come back and tell us how many you managed....

Assuming an unlikely quick 5 mins per drop that's a 25 hour day... I have a feeling most would struggle.

That's why he is Upatdawn.

[IainT]

Monkeylegend said:

IainT said:

Upatdawn said:

Try being a multidrop van driver, say 300 drops a day, then come back and tell us how many you managed....

Assuming an unlikely quick 5 mins per drop that's a 25 hour day... I have a feeling most would struggle.

That's why he is Upatdawn.

hadn't clocked the username...