contact order - family law
Discussion
police were not called when baseball bat happened - i kept nagging her until she went down the police station then at the front office she said this isnt going to help so we went in the car and home. But yes you are right her answer is to bury her head in the sand and not rock the boat and hope he is "ok" on the day he picks the kids up. As he has bi-polar then depending on what day it is is Dependant on the mood he is in.
I have now taken to answering the door to him and keeping her as little involved as possible. If he needs to discuss kids which is very rare then she said she will do it via text.
The csa said they cant reevaluate it until Ocotber
I have now taken to answering the door to him and keeping her as little involved as possible. If he needs to discuss kids which is very rare then she said she will do it via text.
The csa said they cant reevaluate it until Ocotber
Edited by dba7108 on Tuesday 17th February 16:25
I read this earlier and almost replied earlier.....
This is not a good situation to be in and feel deeply sorry for you and yours. But you are in a very difficult place with a very difficult person. The stimulas for this guy seems to be your ex - he is fixated and that needs to be addressed. Your partner has to draw the line and move on - yes there are kids there but you can use something to prevent them ever having to meet again. He wants to create and cause trouble and will get off on the effect that he has with his ex. Its a game to him, but and this is the big but - he is showing tendancies that frankly scare me - the turning up with a baseball bat may be to get a rise out of the situation - sadly these things can turn very quickly and the possibility of him snapping is a very real one. You are in a dangerous situation.
Go read up on the thug Raoul Moat. Read up there and about the new boyfriend of his ex. He didnt stand a chance there and ended up being shot. The very fact that he is around you and yours is indeed dangerous, the very fact that he took a drug overdose while looking after his children scares me. He has no sense of obligation or of responsibility.
If it were me.....
reduce exposure to this person - involve the social services. Get a restraining order on your house so that if he comes near is is breaking that directive this is useful as it can be used to build a case on him. Can you afford to look after the kids and ensure that he never has to contribute ? He will go down that route using money if he thinks it will get him attention - they use what ever they can to maintain control - stop your significant other having anything to do with him or even being anywhere near him. She has to accept that she has a part to play in this - that she draws a line aswell and refuses to engage.
This is not a good situation to be in and feel deeply sorry for you and yours. But you are in a very difficult place with a very difficult person. The stimulas for this guy seems to be your ex - he is fixated and that needs to be addressed. Your partner has to draw the line and move on - yes there are kids there but you can use something to prevent them ever having to meet again. He wants to create and cause trouble and will get off on the effect that he has with his ex. Its a game to him, but and this is the big but - he is showing tendancies that frankly scare me - the turning up with a baseball bat may be to get a rise out of the situation - sadly these things can turn very quickly and the possibility of him snapping is a very real one. You are in a dangerous situation.
Go read up on the thug Raoul Moat. Read up there and about the new boyfriend of his ex. He didnt stand a chance there and ended up being shot. The very fact that he is around you and yours is indeed dangerous, the very fact that he took a drug overdose while looking after his children scares me. He has no sense of obligation or of responsibility.
If it were me.....
reduce exposure to this person - involve the social services. Get a restraining order on your house so that if he comes near is is breaking that directive this is useful as it can be used to build a case on him. Can you afford to look after the kids and ensure that he never has to contribute ? He will go down that route using money if he thinks it will get him attention - they use what ever they can to maintain control - stop your significant other having anything to do with him or even being anywhere near him. She has to accept that she has a part to play in this - that she draws a line aswell and refuses to engage.
ruggedscotty said:
I read this earlier and almost replied earlier.....
This is not a good situation to be in and feel deeply sorry for you and yours. But you are in a very difficult place with a very difficult person. The stimulas for this guy seems to be your ex - he is fixated and that needs to be addressed. Your partner has to draw the line and move on - yes there are kids there but you can use something to prevent them ever having to meet again. He wants to create and cause trouble and will get off on the effect that he has with his ex. Its a game to him, but and this is the big but - he is showing tendancies that frankly scare me - the turning up with a baseball bat may be to get a rise out of the situation - sadly these things can turn very quickly and the possibility of him snapping is a very real one. You are in a dangerous situation.
Go read up on the thug Raoul Moat. Read up there and about the new boyfriend of his ex. He didnt stand a chance there and ended up being shot. The very fact that he is around you and yours is indeed dangerous, the very fact that he took a drug overdose while looking after his children scares me. He has no sense of obligation or of responsibility.
If it were me.....
reduce exposure to this person - involve the social services. Get a restraining order on your house so that if he comes near is is breaking that directive this is useful as it can be used to build a case on him. Can you afford to look after the kids and ensure that he never has to contribute ? He will go down that route using money if he thinks it will get him attention - they use what ever they can to maintain control - stop your significant other having anything to do with him or even being anywhere near him. She has to accept that she has a part to play in this - that she draws a line aswell and refuses to engage.
i agree with the above This is not a good situation to be in and feel deeply sorry for you and yours. But you are in a very difficult place with a very difficult person. The stimulas for this guy seems to be your ex - he is fixated and that needs to be addressed. Your partner has to draw the line and move on - yes there are kids there but you can use something to prevent them ever having to meet again. He wants to create and cause trouble and will get off on the effect that he has with his ex. Its a game to him, but and this is the big but - he is showing tendancies that frankly scare me - the turning up with a baseball bat may be to get a rise out of the situation - sadly these things can turn very quickly and the possibility of him snapping is a very real one. You are in a dangerous situation.
Go read up on the thug Raoul Moat. Read up there and about the new boyfriend of his ex. He didnt stand a chance there and ended up being shot. The very fact that he is around you and yours is indeed dangerous, the very fact that he took a drug overdose while looking after his children scares me. He has no sense of obligation or of responsibility.
If it were me.....
reduce exposure to this person - involve the social services. Get a restraining order on your house so that if he comes near is is breaking that directive this is useful as it can be used to build a case on him. Can you afford to look after the kids and ensure that he never has to contribute ? He will go down that route using money if he thinks it will get him attention - they use what ever they can to maintain control - stop your significant other having anything to do with him or even being anywhere near him. She has to accept that she has a part to play in this - that she draws a line aswell and refuses to engage.
and if as previously stated he is a Registered Nurse for pities sake 'refer' him to the NMC as these behaviours are a fitness to practice issue
check his registration here http://www.nmc-uk.org/Search-the-register/ - full name should be enough - however if his name is common you may get a number of hits if you can find out his NMC registration number which is in the following format mmXnnnnX where mm are the last two digits of when they started training / first regstered X are letters and nnnn are four ?random? ( but fixed to the individual) numbers
http://www.nmc-uk.org/Employers-and-managers/Fitne...
the suicide attempts / overdoses are a health FtP issue
http://www.nmc-uk.org/Employers-and-managers/Fitne...
Edited by mph1977 on Wednesday 18th February 11:01
There are Police and Civil remedies under the Protection of Harassment Act. The civil courts in particular can issue an injunction bases upon not just his past actions but also the likelihood of what might happen in the future.
Any decision to escalate matters to something more formal might impact his life in one way or another, however it's unfair on all parties, including him, to allow things to continue to the point there may be a serious and potentially violent event.
Any decision to escalate matters to something more formal might impact his life in one way or another, however it's unfair on all parties, including him, to allow things to continue to the point there may be a serious and potentially violent event.
You cant deal with this on your own - you cant make allowances for him - you dont have the right set of tools to enable you to deal with this and he will be playing you both.
Please listen to those on here that are telling you and advising you to do something. There isnt a second chance with this and it involves more than your family unit. Could be be suffering form some mental illness himself?
This guy will continue to chip away and that alone will place stresses between you and yours - thats what he wants. to chase you away from the situation. Is it your house ?
This needs to be escalated and sorted - and you dont take being bluffed off on this. Please Please do something and dont plod with this on your own.
Please listen to those on here that are telling you and advising you to do something. There isnt a second chance with this and it involves more than your family unit. Could be be suffering form some mental illness himself?
This guy will continue to chip away and that alone will place stresses between you and yours - thats what he wants. to chase you away from the situation. Is it your house ?
This needs to be escalated and sorted - and you dont take being bluffed off on this. Please Please do something and dont plod with this on your own.
update - sat watching tv friday on my own when gf was due to drop kids at his and front door slams open and he came in and attacked me. Police called and he is in the cell being - interviewed tomorrow for 'burglary and assault'. Coppers were great said they will do all they can to sort this. Christ knows why he did this as its certain death to his career. I wasnt badly injured - and glad he has done it to be honest as he has f&&ked himself up.
dba7108 said:
update - sat watching tv friday on my own when gf was due to drop kids at his and front door slams open and he came in and attacked me. Police called and he is in the cell being - interviewed tomorrow for 'burglary and assault'. Coppers were great said they will do all they can to sort this. Christ knows why he did this as its certain death to his career. I wasnt badly injured - and glad he has done it to be honest as he has f&&ked himself up.
did you ever answer the question as to whether he is actually an RN ? and if so have you made a referral to the NMC over his fitness to practice ?
dba7108 said:
yes he is an RN - and yes have contacted them today in regard to behavior but police are also informing employer of this and past instances
good as this is something which is very worrying - maybe an interim order from the NMC might wake him up to what a muppet he is being and if not protect the public at large from him ... dba7108 said:
update - sat watching tv friday on my own when gf was due to drop kids at his and front door slams open and he came in and attacked me. Police called and he is in the cell being - interviewed tomorrow for 'burglary and assault'. Coppers were great said they will do all they can to sort this. Christ knows why he did this as its certain death to his career. I wasnt badly injured - and glad he has done it to be honest as he has f&&ked himself up.
I agree - horrible thing to happen, but in the long term it could be the least worst option if it helps get you and family the protection you need, but also that he might get the mental health help he needs.I don't know how you do it, but I would push for a non-contact order or supervised access only whilst he is on bail (assuming he is bailed)
t out of him in self defence.Gassing Station | Speed, Plod & the Law | Top of Page | What's New | My Stuff