Bank Employee's inappropriate relationship with customer
Discussion
k about. Contact the bank at an elevated level, even asking for the fraud team. Let them carry out an investigation, as given the current climate they'll be wary of overlooking any impropriety.To me, it sounds like the only material difference they are making on your Nan's life is a positive one (as well as your Grandad whilst he was alive). It sounds to me like they've got £1m+ and your concern is that they are given a relatively small proportion (possibly £100k so far) to very close friends who have brought them some happiness and help. Your biggest concern, understandably, is that they will be written into the will at your expense. It doesn't sound like your Nan is going to suffer any quality of life as a result of these people's actions so I don't see what the fuss is about. Well, I know exactly what the fuss is about but it's probably a lot more selfish than you'd care to admit. Why don't you move to be close to your Nan for her final few years?
Unfortunately wealthy old people seem to attract alsorts, my other halfs grand parents are similar and we find their eldest son's ex wife who hated them when she was married to their son now hangs around like a bad smell being very nice to them. Her brother as well is always offering to drive them everywhere collects them from the airport etc. I think they only do it as they think it will be worth their while when they pass away.
Appreciate all the help and opinions guys - will look into contacting the bank and see if there is anything they can do.
Just to clarify something - this isn't about any level of jealously of these people receiving money, they are entitled to it if they are being good friends and helping out, if it is sincere, but it doesn't appear to be at all based on evidence so this is why I do not want to see my Grandmother being taken advantage of.
Just to clarify something - this isn't about any level of jealously of these people receiving money, they are entitled to it if they are being good friends and helping out, if it is sincere, but it doesn't appear to be at all based on evidence so this is why I do not want to see my Grandmother being taken advantage of.
Get the executor of the estate to request bank statements as far back as they can - 5 years is normally not hard to find. If the accounts are in joint names then get your grandma to request them. Find the chequebooks also.
Look for any significant payments and recurring monthly payments - are they all for your grandparents? Can they be explained away? Older people tend to get cash out and spend it rather than use cards, so any significant bank payments will be easy to spot.
I'd be pretty annoyed if this was happening to my parents and if everything is as you say then it looks like your grandparents have been clearly targeted and the bank employee wouldn't have spent a second of their lives ringing to see how they are if they didnt have any money. Very unprofessional behaviour and there must be bank rules on an employee using bank details to contact a client socially. Let alone befriending them and building up favours with them.
Look for any significant payments and recurring monthly payments - are they all for your grandparents? Can they be explained away? Older people tend to get cash out and spend it rather than use cards, so any significant bank payments will be easy to spot.
I'd be pretty annoyed if this was happening to my parents and if everything is as you say then it looks like your grandparents have been clearly targeted and the bank employee wouldn't have spent a second of their lives ringing to see how they are if they didnt have any money. Very unprofessional behaviour and there must be bank rules on an employee using bank details to contact a client socially. Let alone befriending them and building up favours with them.
TooMany2cvs said:
carreauchompeur said:
A bank employee befriending an elderly person who pays in a large amount of money and then embarking on a personal relationship is not appropriate.
There's some rather massive assumptions going on.For all you - and the OP - know, the G/F and J had a very natural and friendly relationship, which lead to J genuinely trying to help out a friend that she just happened to have met at work.
OP - if you're so concerned about your grandmother, have you suggested she comes and lives with you? Or, even, do you phone her every day and go to see her every weekend?
zedstar said:
Very unprofessional behaviour and there must be bank rules on an employee using bank details to contact a client socially. Let alone befriending them and building up favours with them.
There are, and branch staff are given specific training to spot and report behaviour like this. Compliance will come down on them like a ton of bricks. BJG1 said:
To me, it sounds like the only material difference they are making on your Nan's life is a positive one (as well as your Grandad whilst he was alive). It sounds to me like they've got £1m+ and your concern is that they are given a relatively small proportion (possibly £100k so far) to very close friends who have brought them some happiness and help. Your biggest concern, understandably, is that they will be written into the will at your expense. It doesn't sound like your Nan is going to suffer any quality of life as a result of these people's actions so I don't see what the fuss is about. Well, I know exactly what the fuss is about but it's probably a lot more selfish than you'd care to admit. Why don't you move to be close to your Nan for her final few years?
None of which is relevant. Bank employees are in a position of trust and power. In the same way as a 30 year old can happily date a 16 year old ( legally ) if the 30 year old happens to be the 16 y/o's teacher it's deeded clearly out of order.ging84 said:
If the guy who lost his job effectively ended up working for them full time doing gardening etc, then over 5 years that alone could clock up £100k, but if it was all cash in hand no taxes declared he was working illegally.
True - but he only recently lost his job apparently, and she (J) now only works 2 days a week at the bank, out of her choice I imagine, so it's not like they do it full time.Considering they were meant to be such good friends neither of them stayed for the wake after the funeral and J couldn't even be bothered to get the day off to attend - despite the rest of the family doing so and travelling hundreds of miles for it - if they were honestly caring and compassionate people who were true friends I wouldn't mind but their attitudes and the way they go about things just doesn't add up to being genuine people - to me it's about the principal that my family are being taken advantage of, it's not about the money.
Riknos said:
Is there anything we can do?
Who is the "we" in all this?Do the rest of the family share your concern, and are they prepared to anything about it?
Apart from stirring up trouble at the bank, which your family and gran may not thank you for, you're probably too distant a relative to drive any action, never mind deal with the consequences.
Hackney said:
A natural and friendly relationship which developed just after a large amount of money was deposited? Coincidence?
I'm with carreauchompeur, there's attentive and personal banking service to those with large sums invested in the bank, but I bet none of them recommend going over and doing chores where money changes hands.
Even if there's no impropriety it's a highly inappropriate relationship for a bank worker to cultivate.
Sounds like the relationship between Mr Drysdale Miss Hathaway and Jed ClampettI'm with carreauchompeur, there's attentive and personal banking service to those with large sums invested in the bank, but I bet none of them recommend going over and doing chores where money changes hands.
Even if there's no impropriety it's a highly inappropriate relationship for a bank worker to cultivate.
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