Bank Employee's inappropriate relationship with customer
Discussion
jbsportstech said:
Unfortunately wealthy old people seem to attract alsorts, my other halfs grand parents are similar and we find their eldest son's ex wife who hated them when she was married to their son now hangs around like a bad smell being very nice to them. Her brother as well is always offering to drive them everywhere collects them from the airport etc. I think they only do it as they think it will be worth their while when they pass away.
You're right. Fortunately, many of these old people have families they can trust to look after them and make sure these sorts of things don't develop in the first place.Their was a similar concern with people who befriended my Grandfather.
Over time it became clear that actually it was simply that they were very nice people who's support enabled my grandfather to live at home where he wanted to be until the final couple of weeks of his life.
It's not always black and white.
Over time it became clear that actually it was simply that they were very nice people who's support enabled my grandfather to live at home where he wanted to be until the final couple of weeks of his life.
It's not always black and white.
Riknos said:
I'm not sure if anything here is illegal hence posting here - hopefully somebody can shed some light.
Approx 5 years ago, my Grandparents sold their second home for approx £800k I believe and walked into their local brand of X bank and deposited a big fat cheque for the money. They already had a second home they were now living in permanently and had prior savings and a good pension.
Most of their family is 5+ hours away, except for their son. It was around the very time they deposited this cheque that one of the bank employees became very friendly with them, I believe she is potentially a manager/assistant manager of the branch. Over the course of the next few months she would offer her assistance and call them to speak with them, offering her husband to help with chores around the house. Over time this developed into frequent visits, husband (call his A) and wife (call her J) visiting and bringing their daughter (M). A would turn up at their house and offer his services of gardening, general jobs around the house, tidying etc, and they would offer him money in exchange which he would refuse. After a while A lost his job so when the offers of money were presented they would be accepted. He was paid the going rate of a gardener, fuel money for giving them lifts etc.
My Grandparents whilst being of a mindset that they know what they're doing they weren't exactly all there upstairs and are very difficult people to talk to / communicate with etc. A and J eventually got their child to start calling my grandparents "nan and granddad" My grandparents helped them out such as giving A their old car, then when that broke down not long after they then gave him some money to buy a new car. They even changed their will at some point to include J in it for a 5 figure sum. This was later changed back after my Granddad's brother convinced him to as he didn't trust them. My Granddad was the sensible one and my Grandmother often lives in her own world.
I don't understand why these people would have randomly picked my grandparents to befriend - as far as I'm aware A at least has his own parents still so it's not like a surrogate thing, and even if it was I still think the relationship is inappropriate.
Is there anything we can do? I have thought about writing to J's manager at the bank but I'm not sure we have a leg to stand on?
Also - There is another issue of that apparently my Granddad's Will could not be honoured properly as there was approx £100k missing from his finances. He was always careful with money and still had all his marbles until the end, my uncle is saying he must have lost track of his spending but yes perhaps of a few thousands but 100k? They didn't go on any holidays, buy any luxury items or anything for that matter. All they've done for the last few years is go out for meals and pay A & J money to help with chores and help out with the car etc.
Would we be able to hire an accountant to look into it for example?
Appreciate any advise, thanks.
Why couldn't his Will be honoured? How did the missing money prevent that, especially as it seems most goes to your gran? This sounds like you're way down the path after his death, so what's being said?Approx 5 years ago, my Grandparents sold their second home for approx £800k I believe and walked into their local brand of X bank and deposited a big fat cheque for the money. They already had a second home they were now living in permanently and had prior savings and a good pension.
Most of their family is 5+ hours away, except for their son. It was around the very time they deposited this cheque that one of the bank employees became very friendly with them, I believe she is potentially a manager/assistant manager of the branch. Over the course of the next few months she would offer her assistance and call them to speak with them, offering her husband to help with chores around the house. Over time this developed into frequent visits, husband (call his A) and wife (call her J) visiting and bringing their daughter (M). A would turn up at their house and offer his services of gardening, general jobs around the house, tidying etc, and they would offer him money in exchange which he would refuse. After a while A lost his job so when the offers of money were presented they would be accepted. He was paid the going rate of a gardener, fuel money for giving them lifts etc.
My Grandparents whilst being of a mindset that they know what they're doing they weren't exactly all there upstairs and are very difficult people to talk to / communicate with etc. A and J eventually got their child to start calling my grandparents "nan and granddad" My grandparents helped them out such as giving A their old car, then when that broke down not long after they then gave him some money to buy a new car. They even changed their will at some point to include J in it for a 5 figure sum. This was later changed back after my Granddad's brother convinced him to as he didn't trust them. My Granddad was the sensible one and my Grandmother often lives in her own world.
I don't understand why these people would have randomly picked my grandparents to befriend - as far as I'm aware A at least has his own parents still so it's not like a surrogate thing, and even if it was I still think the relationship is inappropriate.
Is there anything we can do? I have thought about writing to J's manager at the bank but I'm not sure we have a leg to stand on?
Also - There is another issue of that apparently my Granddad's Will could not be honoured properly as there was approx £100k missing from his finances. He was always careful with money and still had all his marbles until the end, my uncle is saying he must have lost track of his spending but yes perhaps of a few thousands but 100k? They didn't go on any holidays, buy any luxury items or anything for that matter. All they've done for the last few years is go out for meals and pay A & J money to help with chores and help out with the car etc.
Would we be able to hire an accountant to look into it for example?
Appreciate any advise, thanks.
I'm being the cynic on here, as I think you're the one who is expecting their money and quite possibly worse than anything you're suggesting A&J got up to.
Financial grooming is very common and the way you paint the picture it sounds like that is what happened here.
But unless there was fraud or coercion then it is unlikely a crime has been committed - if your granddad had capacity and chose to pay these people then unfortnatley then there is not the law will do.
But unless there was fraud or coercion then it is unlikely a crime has been committed - if your granddad had capacity and chose to pay these people then unfortnatley then there is not the law will do.
LoonR1 said:
Why couldn't his Will be honoured? How did the missing money prevent that, especially as it seems most goes to your gran? This sounds like you're way down the path after his death, so what's being said?
I'm being the cynic on here, as I think you're the one who is expecting their money and quite possibly worse than anything you're suggesting A&J got up to.
If you left me £800k in your will, then spent all your money, it couldn't be honouredI'm being the cynic on here, as I think you're the one who is expecting their money and quite possibly worse than anything you're suggesting A&J got up to.
ging84 said:
If you left me £800k in your will, then spent all your money, it couldn't be honoured
You're right, but then few wills say, "I'm leaving you £800,000" or any other specific number as it opens up a world of problems. Wills tend to say things like "I'm leaving everything to <four named people> in equal amounts" that way whatever's left or even whatever the amount has grown to is what gets left. The OP is in a mood because he thinks "his money", that he's entitled to when his Grandad died was spent either by his Grandad, or given to these other people who spent time and effort with the old bloke.
REALIST123 said:
You're right. Fortunately, many of these old people have families they can trust to look after them and make sure these sorts of things don't develop in the first place.
At the risk of sounding cynical I think it speaks volumes that this affair seems to have only been noticed at the stage its at now. Inheritance concerns do seem to imbue those who couldn't be bothered to visit or whatever beforehand with the energy and vigour to suddenly become alert and attentive.9mm said:
This is a peep into the future for me. With no close relatives likely to survive me I can see numerous distant ones moaning about me leaving my dosh to a number of helpful, busty twenty somethings who befriended me in my later years and selflessly took care of my personal needs. 
I know this is a joke (and a funny one) but it does touch on the issue that some people seem to view their relatives as living breathing money-pots just waiting to be tapped - a horrible attitude - rather than the genuinely selfless attitude that it's their money and they can do with it what they wish (including spending it on twenty-something girlies that gave them more pleasure than their supposed family ever did).Edited by Durzel on Friday 29th May 10:01
LoonR1 said:
The OP is in a mood because he thinks "his money", that he's entitled to when his Grandad died was spent either by his Grandad, or given to these other people who spent time and effort with the old bloke.
Even if thats true, and I don't know the OP to comment either way, it surely doesn't make it right that a bank employee uses protected and confidential information to financially groom an elderly client. Unless ofcourse the bank employee, and her husband and daughter visit all the elderly patrons of the bank - including the ones that are struggling to live week to week on their pensions.zedstar said:
Even if thats true, and I don't know the OP to comment either way, it surely doesn't make it right that a bank employee uses protected and confidential information to financially groom an elderly client. Unless ofcourse the bank employee, and her husband and daughter visit all the elderly patrons of the bank - including the ones that are struggling to live week to week on their pensions.
Really? You're taking the OP at face value without any thought that he may have embellished his story somewhat. Where's the evidence of financial grooming? All we know is that his grandad spent some of his own money and the OP is mighty pissed off as he saw that as his money. zedstar said:
LoonR1 said:
The OP is in a mood because he thinks "his money", that he's entitled to when his Grandad died was spent either by his Grandad, or given to these other people who spent time and effort with the old bloke.
Even if thats true, and I don't know the OP to comment either way, it surely doesn't make it right that a bank employee uses protected and confidential information to financially groom an elderly client. Unless ofcourse the bank employee, and her husband and daughter visit all the elderly patrons of the bank - including the ones that are struggling to live week to week on their pensions.On the second, a part time bank worker suddenly starting a relationship with a customer, with money involved - and given the timing of their 800k deposit... fishy beyond belief and warrants investigation by the bank.
Durzel said:
REALIST123 said:
You're right. Fortunately, many of these old people have families they can trust to look after them and make sure these sorts of things don't develop in the first place.
At the risk of sounding cynical I think it speaks volumes that this affair seems to have only been noticed at the stage its at now. Inheritance concerns do seem to imbue those who couldn't be bothered to visit or whatever beforehand with the energy and vigour to suddenly become alert and attentive.9mm said:
This is a peep into the future for me. With no close relatives likely to survive me I can see numerous distant ones moaning about me leaving my dosh to a number of helpful, busty twenty somethings who befriended me in my later years and selflessly took care of my personal needs.
I know this is a joke (and a funny one) but it does touch on the issue that some people seem to view their relatives as living breathing money-pots just waiting to be tapped - a horrible attitude - rather than the genuinely selfless attitude that it's their money and they can do with it what they wish (including spending it on twenty-something girlies that gave them more pleasure than their supposed family ever did).Edited by Durzel on Friday 29th May 10:01
You're bang on about (distant) relatives' attitudes to money in the family. It seems that most regard any money left outside of family to be the result of grooming, dementia or both. It's their money - they can and should do what they like with it!!!
Edited by 9mm on Friday 29th May 11:06
Vaud said:
zedstar said:
LoonR1 said:
The OP is in a mood because he thinks "his money", that he's entitled to when his Grandad died was spent either by his Grandad, or given to these other people who spent time and effort with the old bloke.
Even if thats true, and I don't know the OP to comment either way, it surely doesn't make it right that a bank employee uses protected and confidential information to financially groom an elderly client. Unless ofcourse the bank employee, and her husband and daughter visit all the elderly patrons of the bank - including the ones that are struggling to live week to week on their pensions.On the second, a part time bank worker suddenly starting a relationship with a customer, with money involved - and given the timing of their 800k deposit... fishy beyond belief and warrants investigation by the bank.
9mm said:
Vaud said:
zedstar said:
LoonR1 said:
The OP is in a mood because he thinks "his money", that he's entitled to when his Grandad died was spent either by his Grandad, or given to these other people who spent time and effort with the old bloke.
Even if thats true, and I don't know the OP to comment either way, it surely doesn't make it right that a bank employee uses protected and confidential information to financially groom an elderly client. Unless ofcourse the bank employee, and her husband and daughter visit all the elderly patrons of the bank - including the ones that are struggling to live week to week on their pensions.On the second, a part time bank worker suddenly starting a relationship with a customer, with money involved - and given the timing of their 800k deposit... fishy beyond belief and warrants investigation by the bank.
LoonR1 said:
9mm said:
Vaud said:
zedstar said:
LoonR1 said:
The OP is in a mood because he thinks "his money", that he's entitled to when his Grandad died was spent either by his Grandad, or given to these other people who spent time and effort with the old bloke.
Even if thats true, and I don't know the OP to comment either way, it surely doesn't make it right that a bank employee uses protected and confidential information to financially groom an elderly client. Unless ofcourse the bank employee, and her husband and daughter visit all the elderly patrons of the bank - including the ones that are struggling to live week to week on their pensions.On the second, a part time bank worker suddenly starting a relationship with a customer, with money involved - and given the timing of their 800k deposit... fishy beyond belief and warrants investigation by the bank.
Sunlight is the best disinfectant. If it's looked into and all's above board, no one need worry. If there's behaviour that needs looking into then it might be the case for other vulnerable bank customers too- reporting this may help protect other families.
Read this and then report your concerns. You'll be doing the right thing.
Read this and then report your concerns. You'll be doing the right thing.
Not that I need to defend myself, but here are the facts:
1. I'm not after anybody's money and I'm not jealous of anyone receiving it if they truly do care, then they can earn it - but I just want it checked out as it seems suspicious to myself (and others too so I'm not in the minority here)
2. The whole family is concerned - my Grandmother isn't all there upstairs and neither is my dad due to medical issues. His sister is house bound and hundreds of miles away due to medical issues. The rest of the family however are all concerned and we have been for years. This isn't the first time we have tried to do something it's just the first time I asked for help on PH...
3. My father's (now deceased) partner raised concerns years ago that my grandmother was favouring A over her own son - not only in a financial sense but in an emotional / physical sense - grandmother got very defensive and fell out with said partner over the matter, I'm not sure if they ever made up either. Any time anyone ever queries the relationship with my grandmother she gets very defensive so we drop it.
4. Other members of the family have been concerned and have tried to get involved but were reassured not to worry and unable to influence my grandmother in any way - this is not just myself this is ALL members of the family, majority of which stand no financial gain either way so our (as this includes me) concern is purely for our family - and it shows how immoral some people are if they think otherwise.
5. A&J actually took down pictures of myself and my sibling from our grandparents mantle pieces and replaced them with their own children - this was later reverted after another family member commented on this.
We have a family member who works for social services now so she is going to look into getting meals on wheels and care assistance provided to my grandmother also.
1. I'm not after anybody's money and I'm not jealous of anyone receiving it if they truly do care, then they can earn it - but I just want it checked out as it seems suspicious to myself (and others too so I'm not in the minority here)
2. The whole family is concerned - my Grandmother isn't all there upstairs and neither is my dad due to medical issues. His sister is house bound and hundreds of miles away due to medical issues. The rest of the family however are all concerned and we have been for years. This isn't the first time we have tried to do something it's just the first time I asked for help on PH...
3. My father's (now deceased) partner raised concerns years ago that my grandmother was favouring A over her own son - not only in a financial sense but in an emotional / physical sense - grandmother got very defensive and fell out with said partner over the matter, I'm not sure if they ever made up either. Any time anyone ever queries the relationship with my grandmother she gets very defensive so we drop it.
4. Other members of the family have been concerned and have tried to get involved but were reassured not to worry and unable to influence my grandmother in any way - this is not just myself this is ALL members of the family, majority of which stand no financial gain either way so our (as this includes me) concern is purely for our family - and it shows how immoral some people are if they think otherwise.
5. A&J actually took down pictures of myself and my sibling from our grandparents mantle pieces and replaced them with their own children - this was later reverted after another family member commented on this.
We have a family member who works for social services now so she is going to look into getting meals on wheels and care assistance provided to my grandmother also.
9mm said:
You know what it's like. Stories examined often start to come unravelled. All we can go on so far is what's been posted. However, even if these people had been friends for some time, there's a potential issue - best practice, conflict of interest, compliance, etc, that sounds like it's worthy of investigation.
This is what I was getting at - I was asking for opinions on whether others agreed that some kind of best practice or conflict of interest should be looked into - which we will do.blearyeyedboy said:
Sunlight is the best disinfectant. If it's looked into and all's above board, no one need worry. If there's behaviour that needs looking into then it might be the case for other vulnerable bank customers too- reporting this may help protect other families.
Read this and then report your concerns. You'll be doing the right thing.
Perfect - thank you! Read this and then report your concerns. You'll be doing the right thing.
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