Bank Employee's inappropriate relationship with customer
Discussion
Riknos said:
A&J actually took down pictures of myself and my sibling from our grandparents mantle pieces and replaced them with their own children - this was later reverted after another family member commented on this.
I'm not sure why there has been so much negativity towards you regarding this situation and i hope you manage to get it resolved or it turns out to be genuine. Reading what you wrote for number 5 though is just downright creepy and leads me to assume the worst!R8Steve said:
Riknos said:
A&J actually took down pictures of myself and my sibling from our grandparents mantle pieces and replaced them with their own children - this was later reverted after another family member commented on this.
I'm not sure why there has been so much negativity towards you regarding this situation and i hope you manage to get it resolved or it turns out to be genuine. Reading what you wrote for number 5 though is just downright creepy and leads me to assume the worst!The timelines make it all seem very shady, but the question is how do you actually prove any of it?
It's essentially your word alone that they embarked on this friendship with the grandparents at the time they did, rather than before, incidentally or whatever. If there was a clear incidence of something substantial happening at the time of the original deposit then I think you'd have a shout of showing misconduct but even that wouldn't really change anything about the current situation.
It's not a very nice situation but it sounds like the damage has already been done.
It's essentially your word alone that they embarked on this friendship with the grandparents at the time they did, rather than before, incidentally or whatever. If there was a clear incidence of something substantial happening at the time of the original deposit then I think you'd have a shout of showing misconduct but even that wouldn't really change anything about the current situation.
It's not a very nice situation but it sounds like the damage has already been done.
All this sniping at the OP is a bit pathetic really and has no actual point.
It's not necessarily that he considers it his money, it's just that he considers it not this strange couples money.
Of course we don't have the two sides of the story, but does anyone really need another side when a couple randomly befriend an old couple who they know has £1m+ for no obvious reason?
There *may* be a genuine motive, or whatever,.....but there isn't.
Anyone who claims they would not care in the OP's situation is not being entirely honest.
The only thing that would make me see this in a different way would be if this couple were the grandparents neighbour.
It's not necessarily that he considers it his money, it's just that he considers it not this strange couples money.
Of course we don't have the two sides of the story, but does anyone really need another side when a couple randomly befriend an old couple who they know has £1m+ for no obvious reason?
There *may* be a genuine motive, or whatever,.....but there isn't.
Anyone who claims they would not care in the OP's situation is not being entirely honest.
The only thing that would make me see this in a different way would be if this couple were the grandparents neighbour.
blindswelledrat said:
All this sniping at the OP is a bit pathetic really and has no actual point.
It's not necessarily that he considers it his money, it's just that he considers it not this strange couples money.
Of course we don't have the two sides of the story, but does anyone really need another side when a couple randomly befriend an old couple who they know has £1m+ for no obvious reason?
There *may* be a genuine motive, or whatever,.....but there isn't.
Anyone who claims they would not care in the OP's situation is not being entirely honest.
The only thing that would make me see this in a different way would be if this couple were the grandparents neighbour.
I don't know that they only befriended after the deposit, other than what the OP says. They may be friends from church, or the golf club, or the local amateur dramatics, or the bridge club, or many other social environments. Here's a question for the OP. How many times did you go and see your grandparents about all of this? How many times did you just turn up to see how they were getting on? What about mowing their lawn, or doing a few chores that may be too much for them? What does your Dad think about all of this?It's not necessarily that he considers it his money, it's just that he considers it not this strange couples money.
Of course we don't have the two sides of the story, but does anyone really need another side when a couple randomly befriend an old couple who they know has £1m+ for no obvious reason?
There *may* be a genuine motive, or whatever,.....but there isn't.
Anyone who claims they would not care in the OP's situation is not being entirely honest.
The only thing that would make me see this in a different way would be if this couple were the grandparents neighbour.
And they may not.
How many pensioner friends do you have? (discounting neighbours)
How many pensioner friends do any other middle aged people you know have?
Your inventing possibilities just as an excuse to call the OP a moneygrabber.
And yet, as is the case in many families, the grandchildren don't tend to inherit anyway.
So back to my first sentence - he just doesn't want them to have it because he is highly suspicious of their motives and he would have to be a f
king moron not to be highly suspicious
How many pensioner friends do you have? (discounting neighbours)
How many pensioner friends do any other middle aged people you know have?
Your inventing possibilities just as an excuse to call the OP a moneygrabber.
And yet, as is the case in many families, the grandchildren don't tend to inherit anyway.
So back to my first sentence - he just doesn't want them to have it because he is highly suspicious of their motives and he would have to be a f
king moron not to be highly suspiciousblindswelledrat said:
And they may not.
How many pensioner friends do you have? (discounting neighbours)
How many pensioner friends do any other middle aged people you know have?
Your inventing possibilities just as an excuse to call the OP a moneygrabber.
And yet, as is the case in many families, the grandchildren don't tend to inherit anyway.
So back to my first sentence - he just doesn't want them to have it because he is highly suspicious of their motives and he would have to be a fking moron not to be highly suspicious
I'm saying that there are way too many threads from children or grandchildren of wealthier older people kicking off about who gets the old folks money. How many pensioner friends do you have? (discounting neighbours)
How many pensioner friends do any other middle aged people you know have?
Your inventing possibilities just as an excuse to call the OP a moneygrabber.
And yet, as is the case in many families, the grandchildren don't tend to inherit anyway.
So back to my first sentence - he just doesn't want them to have it because he is highly suspicious of their motives and he would have to be a f
king moron not to be highly suspiciousI don't have any pensioner friends. I've also told my Dad to spend all his money before he dies and I give my Mum €2000 a month and free use of one of my places abroad, as she's skint. I don't expect to inherit any money at all, nor do I begrudge my parents spending their hard earned money. He's not suspicious, he's annoyed that his potential inheritance has been spent by the old folks.
LoonR1 said:
blindswelledrat said:
And they may not.
How many pensioner friends do you have? (discounting neighbours)
How many pensioner friends do any other middle aged people you know have?
Your inventing possibilities just as an excuse to call the OP a moneygrabber.
And yet, as is the case in many families, the grandchildren don't tend to inherit anyway.
So back to my first sentence - he just doesn't want them to have it because he is highly suspicious of their motives and he would have to be a fking moron not to be highly suspicious
I'm saying that there are way too many threads from children or grandchildren of wealthier older people kicking off about who gets the old folks money. How many pensioner friends do you have? (discounting neighbours)
How many pensioner friends do any other middle aged people you know have?
Your inventing possibilities just as an excuse to call the OP a moneygrabber.
And yet, as is the case in many families, the grandchildren don't tend to inherit anyway.
So back to my first sentence - he just doesn't want them to have it because he is highly suspicious of their motives and he would have to be a f
king moron not to be highly suspiciousI don't have any pensioner friends. I've also told my Dad to spend all his money before he dies and I give my Mum €2000 a month and free use of one of my places abroad, as she's skint. I don't expect to inherit any money at all, nor do I begrudge my parents spending their hard earned money. He's not suspicious, he's annoyed that his potential inheritance has been spent by the old folks.
Riknos said:
5. A&J actually took down pictures of myself and my sibling from our grandparents mantle pieces and replaced them with their own children - this was later reverted after another family member commented on this.
Of everything so far this is the bit that made my ears prick up and have a little bit of a "WTF?!" reaction when I read it.R8Steve said:
So you would be happy for someone to be conning your grandparents out of money? I couldn't care less if i get any money left in inheritance but i would be raging if someone was conning mine out of money, which is clearly what is happening here.
My grandparents are long dead. I wouldn't be happy about anybody conning anybody out of money. I would have no issue with anybody choosing to do what they want with their own money. I could walk down the street tomorrow and give someone some money. They haven't conned me, they have t ripped me off, I have chosen to give them money. I'm sure someone might not be happy at that, if they felt they were entitled to my money down the line, but nobody has any entitlement to my money, other than me to do with it as I please.
I fail to see how it is "clearly what is happening here"
What if I started a thread saying "I've been helping out an elderly acquaintance for years and now I'm being accused of stealing from him. I've never taken any of his money and his jumped up little squirt of a grandson has now accused me of stealing £100,000"
Just bear in mind that the OP has provided zero evidence that they have taken any money at all from his granddad. None. Zilch. Rien. Nada. Nothing.mhes suggested that they accepted some money offered for chores they did for them, but even that was initially refused. He's just casting aspersions that genres £100,000 less in the estate than he wanted there to be mad drawing a conclusion that the couple have stolen it.
LoonR1 said:
What if I started a thread saying "I've been helping out an elderly acquaintance for years and now I'm being accused of stealing from him. I've never taken any of his money and his jumped up little squirt of a grandson has now accused me of stealing £100,000"
I guess the reactions may depend on whether they became an acquaintance shortly after meeting you and discovering you had a lot of money?That's the thing here, it's a bank, if you work at a bank and meet a customer by definition money is probably involved, but how you would prove that something is rotten is beyond me.
bhstewie said:
hstewie said: I guess the reactions may depend on whether they became an acquaintance shortly after meeting you and discovering you had a lot of money?
That's the thing here, it's a bank, if you work at a bank and meet a customer by definition money is probably involved, but how you would prove that something is rotten is beyond me.
I'm not suggesting he doesn't go down the route of complaining to the bank and letting compliance deal with it. I just hope, if this is all about him wanting a hefty inheritance, that he realises his actions could ruin someone's life. If he is doing this purely out of greed, then I hope his grandmother sees him for who he is and removes him from her will completely. If there is any truth then I hope his grandmother gets all her money back to spend as she sees fit. That's the thing here, it's a bank, if you work at a bank and meet a customer by definition money is probably involved, but how you would prove that something is rotten is beyond me.
blindswelledrat said:
All this sniping at the OP is a bit pathetic really and has no actual point.
It's not necessarily that he considers it his money, it's just that he considers it not this strange couples money.
Of course we don't have the two sides of the story, but does anyone really need another side when a couple randomly befriend an old couple who they know has £1m+ for no obvious reason?
There *may* be a genuine motive, or whatever,.....but there isn't.
Anyone who claims they would not care in the OP's situation is not being entirely honest.
The only thing that would make me see this in a different way would be if this couple were the grandparents neighbour.
Speak for yourself.It's not necessarily that he considers it his money, it's just that he considers it not this strange couples money.
Of course we don't have the two sides of the story, but does anyone really need another side when a couple randomly befriend an old couple who they know has £1m+ for no obvious reason?
There *may* be a genuine motive, or whatever,.....but there isn't.
Anyone who claims they would not care in the OP's situation is not being entirely honest.
The only thing that would make me see this in a different way would be if this couple were the grandparents neighbour.
My partner has recently been approached by an aunt who fell out with her father many years ago. The old girl is ostensibly lonely and has no closer family. I can't know her net worth but could start with a house worth a conservative £600K. My partner isn't remotely interested, in the aunt or the money. We don't care - a penny. How much money do we need? Where do you stop? If the old girl leaves it all to a gardener who starts work for her next week, sfw? Why would a niece, let alone some distant cousin have any more entitlement, except under intestacy law? It's her money.
Over 30 years ago I moved into my first flat. Living in the bedsit next door was an old boy, aged mid sixties I suppose who I befriended, mostly as a result of him being an eccentric old bugger who, like me, liked to swim in the sea most days. He was widowed without children. Over the years I got to know more and more about him. Amongst other things he was a Burma veteran and close friend of Don Bradman, having lived in Oz for many years. He was also rather rich and a miser. By the time he got into his eighties he was quite frail and my then wife and I took care of him, in terms of paying bills, doing shopping, etc, etc. No family had been on the scene in fifteen years or so. Then a distant cousin appeared and accused me of 'grooming' him. The old boy started questioning me about my motives (I'd never had a penny off the mean old bugger and he had cost me thousands over the years) and with that I told the lot of them to 4x themselves. Never saw him again from that day on. I mourned the loss of a friendship - f
k the money.For some people, I think you'll find money is an awfully long way down their list of priorities.
A bit of karma about the chief relative in the old boy story though. He copped the lot (via a will made three months before the death) and died from cancer within the year. RIP mate. Hope it's useful to you now.
If the OP has had concerns for years, he should have raised it years ago. Why wait until they have passed and unfortunately the one person whose money it is can't comment?
Sounds like these people got paid for doing things. We've all seen rogue traders fleecing the elderly on the one extreme to people going out there way to help people even if it's recommending a gardener who then got paid.
My gran gave money to the ' Ring and ride" driver for his new child. All a bit odd, wasn't a big sum from what we could see but it made her happy and to me that was money well spent. I guess if it had been thousands I might have looked a bit more closely but I know my gran, always generous, and doing what she did wasn't out of character, and it was her money so her privilege.
Sounds like these people got paid for doing things. We've all seen rogue traders fleecing the elderly on the one extreme to people going out there way to help people even if it's recommending a gardener who then got paid.
My gran gave money to the ' Ring and ride" driver for his new child. All a bit odd, wasn't a big sum from what we could see but it made her happy and to me that was money well spent. I guess if it had been thousands I might have looked a bit more closely but I know my gran, always generous, and doing what she did wasn't out of character, and it was her money so her privilege.
Leaving money, inheritance etc aside many people are missing the point. No bank employee should be putting themselves in such a situation that there can even be the accusation.
They are all trained to the nth degree about this sort of thing, and its highly unlikely (although not impossible) that it would be met by approval internally, regardless of the bank.
Real shame, because good intentions or not - this employee will be viewed in a very dim light by the bank and should know better.
They are all trained to the nth degree about this sort of thing, and its highly unlikely (although not impossible) that it would be met by approval internally, regardless of the bank.
Real shame, because good intentions or not - this employee will be viewed in a very dim light by the bank and should know better.
BrettMRC said:
Leaving money, inheritance etc aside many people are missing the point. No bank employee should be putting themselves in such a situation that there can even be the accusation.
They are all trained to the nth degree about this sort of thing, and its highly unlikely (although not impossible) that it would be met by approval internally, regardless of the bank.
Real shame, because good intentions or not - this employee will be viewed in a very dim light by the bank and should know better.
I agreeThey are all trained to the nth degree about this sort of thing, and its highly unlikely (although not impossible) that it would be met by approval internally, regardless of the bank.
Real shame, because good intentions or not - this employee will be viewed in a very dim light by the bank and should know better.
The question regarding the op was why he waited? And irrespective unless he can prove illegality the money ain't coming back
BrettMRC said:
Leaving money, inheritance etc aside many people are missing the point. No bank employee should be putting themselves in such a situation that there can even be the accusation.
They are all trained to the nth degree about this sort of thing, and its highly unlikely (although not impossible) that it would be met by approval internally, regardless of the bank.
Real shame, because good intentions or not - this employee will be viewed in a very dim light by the bank and should know better.
It is a sackable offence as the person of trust (employee) knows the member of the public's financial details and 'becoming' friends after this knowledge would be seen as a complete breach of trust.They are all trained to the nth degree about this sort of thing, and its highly unlikely (although not impossible) that it would be met by approval internally, regardless of the bank.
Real shame, because good intentions or not - this employee will be viewed in a very dim light by the bank and should know better.
I have reviewed several training courses like this and the penalties are the varying on the extreme as to what the bank will do to maintain its reputation.
As has been said the employee, if genuine would have to talk to their manager and it would go to an oversight committee as the employee has 'insider info' so could be seen to taking advantage to gain financial foot holding in the will.
Regardless of the argument as to if it should have been snubbed out before, I would not like to be in the shoes of the employee that started this relationship with their client.
The way some people comment on here makes me wonder why anyone ever bothers to pose a question on PH!
As far as I can gather, the OP implied he is not a beneficiary of his GM's will so money is clearly not his motive.
Surely contacting the Bank with his suspicions is the only thing to do here. If they're unfounded then all is well and everyone goes on with their lives happily. On the other hand, if grooming has been going on then action will be taken and it will stop and maybe prevent someone else being attacked in this way in the future.
As far as I can gather, the OP implied he is not a beneficiary of his GM's will so money is clearly not his motive.
Surely contacting the Bank with his suspicions is the only thing to do here. If they're unfounded then all is well and everyone goes on with their lives happily. On the other hand, if grooming has been going on then action will be taken and it will stop and maybe prevent someone else being attacked in this way in the future.
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