Bank Employee's inappropriate relationship with customer

[Usget]

LoonR1 said:

I wouldn't be happy about anybody conning anybody out of money. I would have no issue with anybody choosing to do what they want with their own money. I could walk down the street tomorrow and give someone some money. They haven't conned me, they have t ripped me off, I have chosen to give them money. I'm sure someone might not be happy at that, if they felt they were entitled to my money down the line, but nobody has any entitlement to my money, other than me to do with it as I please.

That assumes that the donor is in full possession of marbles and is not being subtly, quietly influenced by someone. Old people are suceptible to this. My partner used to work for Guideposts, who help old folk (often in the early stages of dementia) with their finances, and she saw more than one example of this.

As a high-profile case, what about that poor old lady who killed herself recently, who was found to be receiving 250 begging letters per month from charities? Was she giving of her own free will?

audited for spilling

Edited by Usget on Monday 1st June 09:37

[9mm]

Usget said:

LoonR1 said:

I wouldn't be happy about anybody conning anybody out of money. I would have no issue with anybody choosing to do what they want with their own money. I could walk down the street tomorrow and give someone some money. They haven't conned me, they have t ripped me off, I have chosen to give them money. I'm sure someone might not be happy at that, if they felt they were entitled to my money down the line, but nobody has any entitlement to my money, other than me to do with it as I please.

That assumes that the donor is in full possesison of marbles and is not being subtly, quietly influenced by someone. Old people are suceptible to this. My partner used to work for Guideposts, who help old folk (often in the early stages of dementia) with their finances, and she saw more than one example of this.

As a high-profile case, what about that poor old lady who killed herself recently, who was found to be receiving 250 begging letters per month from charities? Was she giving of her own free will?

Yes it does assume you're in full possession of your faculties.

However, omitting relatives from a will and making new friends later in life are not in themselves proof that someone has lost their marbles, despite what relatives might wish to think.

My grandmother completely disinherited one son. He thought she had dementia. The reality was that he was a xxxx.

[Hackney]

LoonR1 said:

I don't know that they only befriended after the deposit, other than what the OP says. They may be friends from church, or the golf club, or the local amateur dramatics, or the bridge club, or many other social environments. Here's a question for the OP. How many times did you go and see your grandparents about all of this? How many times did you just turn up to see how they were getting on? What about mowing their lawn, or doing a few chores that may be too much for them? What does your Dad think about all of this?

I understand your point but there are two very separate issues.
The first - and most important - is this couple's relationship with the grandparents and establishing any impropriety there.

The second - and really one for the OP and his family rather than PH - is his own relationship with the grandparents.

[BJG1]

Hackney said:

I understand your point but there are two very separate issues.
The first - and most important - is this couple's relationship with the grandparents and establishing any impropriety there.

The second - and really one for the OP and his family rather than PH - is his own relationship with the grandparents.

Well, even if they do establish malicious intent from the couple, it doesn't make much difference. I doubt the bank is going to be liable to compensate the family for losing out on a few quid in a will - and if they are it's going to cost you 100s of 1000s proving it in court. It's not illegal to be nice to an old bird in the hope that she'll put you in her will, so you aren't going to get them arrested. The person has left their job at the bank so you can't even get them sacked!

What you can do is ensure you don't leave your grandparents in a vulnerable position where they can be taken advantage of by people - it seems to me the OP's family have failed to do so.

[Red Devil]

BJG1 said:

The person has left their job at the bank so you can't even get them sacked!

You're the second person to make this unsubstantiated statement (see below). Where is your evidence for it?

ralphrj said:

carreauchompeur said:

Very difficult. As someone of a suspicious mindset I would regard this as financial grooming and wouldn't be surprised if that was the reason for the bank employee losing his job.

If I've read it right it wasn't the bank employee that lost their job but the husband of the bank employee who was being offered as a handyman.

Indeed. It seems to be a feature of this board that people wade in without reading threads properly. Others then take it as gospel. No wonder things get derailed.