Vulnerable young adults. My son. The law. Help please.
Discussion
OP. I feel for you!
I'm a similar age to your son (early 94) and he appears in the photos to be a very happy man.
It sounds like his mum is playing god with his life to be honest. IANAL, unless you have already, could you speak to a lawyer and see what you're rights are? The lawyer may be able to hassle the care worker, and get something like a contact centre sorted out?
It is a truly horrible place to be in OP, I haven't got kids, but I know I would go to the ends of the earth if it meant being able to see them. Surely, being a dad that's willing to be there and offer your boy's mum some time to herself has to be a win-win? Surely, she's cutting her nose to spite her face?
I don't know, I've not got kids so I'm not 100% how it works.
I'm a similar age to your son (early 94) and he appears in the photos to be a very happy man.
It sounds like his mum is playing god with his life to be honest. IANAL, unless you have already, could you speak to a lawyer and see what you're rights are? The lawyer may be able to hassle the care worker, and get something like a contact centre sorted out?
It is a truly horrible place to be in OP, I haven't got kids, but I know I would go to the ends of the earth if it meant being able to see them. Surely, being a dad that's willing to be there and offer your boy's mum some time to herself has to be a win-win? Surely, she's cutting her nose to spite her face?
I don't know, I've not got kids so I'm not 100% how it works.
I just would like to say a huge thanks to everyone for their support so far. Especially to breadvan for his help away from these forums.
I received a letter from kent county council stating they are taking no further action or investigation into this despite all the evidence present. Despite no one actually meeting with Thomas to ask what he wants. Despite their own procedures not being adhered to.
So I need to move on and find a new direction to get someone that will actually want to have an active interest in looking at what my son wants and needs.
It's all just crap!
I received a letter from kent county council stating they are taking no further action or investigation into this despite all the evidence present. Despite no one actually meeting with Thomas to ask what he wants. Despite their own procedures not being adhered to.
So I need to move on and find a new direction to get someone that will actually want to have an active interest in looking at what my son wants and needs.
It's all just crap!
nessiemac said:
So I need to move on and find a new direction to get someone that will actually want to have an active interest in looking at what my son wants and needs.
Based on your profile, have you tried your local MP? You won't find whether they are a waste of space or willing to take up your cause until you ask. How soon you can get an appointment at a local constituency surgery I don't know.theboss said:
I sincerely hope you can kick some arses down there, OP. The situation you've portrayed is utterly insane. Thanks for posting your pics which injected a dose of reality into an utterly dispairing story.
It's just words on a screen, until you see the pics and see how obviously happy the bloke is with his dad. (Although, not strictly relevant, but absolutely NOBODY is enjoying the log flume as much as the kid in the front... who is about to get a mouthful of water if he's not careful!)Chin up OP. I hope your many years of doing the right thing will pay off eventually. And put it this way, although your ex may be a severely negative influence on Thomas, imagine how much worse his life would be without everything that you've done for him - you should take comfort in that.
well done for sticking at it op,that in itself is a measure of just how good a dad you are. i know that at times it will really get on top of you ,but you are doing the right thing.
as a kid i had a mother that had a bad dose of similar mentals, mostly through alcohol abuse. in the end my grandparents ended up as my legal guardians .it was a long hard road for my father to eventually achieve this and whilst i may not have turned out that great, i have absolutely no doubt if i had remained with my mother i would have been a lot, lot worse.
bringing up my own kids i now know the huge importance of a stable loving home so hopefully anyone with half a brain will see your sons current situation for what it really is.i sincerely hope things work out for the best for you and your son , i suspect as breadvan is going to help out they will at some point.well done breadvan,yet another example of what a good bloke you really are.
as a kid i had a mother that had a bad dose of similar mentals, mostly through alcohol abuse. in the end my grandparents ended up as my legal guardians .it was a long hard road for my father to eventually achieve this and whilst i may not have turned out that great, i have absolutely no doubt if i had remained with my mother i would have been a lot, lot worse.
bringing up my own kids i now know the huge importance of a stable loving home so hopefully anyone with half a brain will see your sons current situation for what it really is.i sincerely hope things work out for the best for you and your son , i suspect as breadvan is going to help out they will at some point.well done breadvan,yet another example of what a good bloke you really are.
Hello OP, I'm using my husbands account to post back to you. I'm sorry to hear you are having such a dreadful time, we are having problems with mental health services and social services for our son, he is still a child so different services but I know the feeling of banging your head against a brick wall when all you want to do is help your child. I would in your instance report every incident where your ex is abusive to the police and ensure you are given a log number. You don't have to call 999 to report it and this may help to build a more substantial safe guarding case. I also think a letter to your local MP may help but as others have said it's the luck of the draw. This country seems unable to look after the vulnerable anymore, I so hope you are able to fight this and win. Stay strong, I know it's not always easy but you can do it.
You're a good man OP, really moving photos and story. Not sure I would have been able to deal with it as well as you. I would have snapped by then, but that's what she wants.
Really hope that some of the legal eagles on here can help you get this sorted, wish my dad cared as much as you did!
Some of my family work with special ed youngsters and one of them works in social services safeguarding. She's just given birth but I'll try and get hold of her to see if there are any other avenues you could go down, or the best way to make a complaint.
At least you've not had the trolls coming out of the woodwork to claim you're the one in the wrong as so often happens on here!
Really hope that some of the legal eagles on here can help you get this sorted, wish my dad cared as much as you did!
Some of my family work with special ed youngsters and one of them works in social services safeguarding. She's just given birth but I'll try and get hold of her to see if there are any other avenues you could go down, or the best way to make a complaint.
At least you've not had the trolls coming out of the woodwork to claim you're the one in the wrong as so often happens on here!
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