Just been assaulted with a meat cleaver!!

[kowalski655]

walm said:

I would happily accept a photo of a bandaged arm in a hospital, next to some of those natty chequered chef shoes and some Birds.

Thats a very non PC way to refer to the nurses..they are medical professionals after all

[Vaud]

LoonR1 said:

I'm glad some others have called this. As soon as I thread the post it was clearly bull. 74 months and 72 posts is the usual giveaway. I'd love to know which corner of the DarkWeb is selling longstanding, low post count PH usernames to children for a small fee.

I see the OP has vanished, which is a shame as I'd love to know how screwing his elbow back together panned out.

Think how much we could get for high usage, longstanding usernames! Two whole buttons!

As for the OP, if it is true and he has had surgery today, then it might be fair to give him another 48 hrs - phone could be flat, post operation sleep, etc.

[LoonR1]

Vaud said:

LoonR1 said:

I'm glad some others have called this. As soon as I thread the post it was clearly bull. 74 months and 72 posts is the usual giveaway. I'd love to know which corner of the DarkWeb is selling longstanding, low post count PH usernames to children for a small fee.

I see the OP has vanished, which is a shame as I'd love to know how screwing his elbow back together panned out.

Think how much we could get for high usage, longstanding usernames! Two whole buttons!

As for the OP, if it is true and he has had surgery today, then it might be fair to give him another 48 hrs - phone could be flat, post operation sleep, etc.

These wild stories do come up with those type of usernames though, so there must be a market somewhere. We recently had a kid in Biker Banter telling us how he was spinning up his tyre when bolt upright. A few questions and a custard call and he buggered off.

[Some Gump]

The thing is, the story isn't even remotely feasible. Not only would the main reason to notice a cleavered limb be the pain (rather than a less than powerful punch), but moreover the story is set in glasgow. Since when did you prepare x and chips with a cleaver? When did you ever see a glaswigian in a knife fight? Never is when.

If the story is even vaguely based on an altrication, it's would have been much more "ya ma's goat a dick" - <push> - <headbutts all round>. The very concept of any glaswigian pugilism without some form of forehead employment is unbelievable.

[Laurel Green]

If true, the assailant should be given the elbow.

[Greendubber]

The Spruce goose said:

what if he was/is a chef. maybe like Stephen Seagal a ex trained assassin who now spends him time making marzipan, think about it.

Do you reckon a fit bird jumped out of a giant birthday cake?

[S10GTA]

Do you have a chip on your shoulder OP?

[cat with a hat]

Monkeylegend said:

Remember the guy who posted on one of the Evo forums a couple of years ago saying he had been slashed by a samurai? sword or shot or something similar, and even posted faked photo's of his very serious injuries.

Wanted to be a hero.

Dam, that must have been several years ago now!?!

[glasgowrob]

being married to a Glaswegian chef i can quite believe that one chef would chib another with a meat cleaver


very stressful job and a high pressure environment, means short tempers and a room full of sharp objects

[Mr GrimNasty]

I hope the employer doesn't do a hatchet job on the OP, that would adze insult to injury, he has every right to be hacked off, hopefully it'll be the other guy getting the axe.

Pfffffffft. I could get a job as a script writer on Not Going Out at this rate.

[Arlen]

Being threatened with a meat cleaver happened to me once. I had just reversed my van into his shop awning though

[StottyEvo]

PorkInsider said:

Wouldn't the ambulance service (or hospital) have informed plod, regardless of OP's wishes?

I can't imagine how the injury could be explained to the medics as anything other than what it was and, as far as I understand it, they have to inform the BiB.

Just spoke to my flat mate who works in A&E and he says they wouldn't necessarily call the police.

[LoonR1]

StottyEvo said:

PorkInsider said:

Wouldn't the ambulance service (or hospital) have informed plod, regardless of OP's wishes?

I can't imagine how the injury could be explained to the medics as anything other than what it was and, as far as I understand it, they have to inform the BiB.

Just spoke to my flat mate who works in A&E and he says they wouldn't necessarily call the police.

Even with an ambulance called to get him to A&E?

[ikarl]

Some Gump said:

.

If the story is even vaguely based on an altrication, it's would have been much more "ya ma's goat a dick" - <push> - <headbutts all round>. The very concept of any glaswigian pugilism without some form of forehead employment is unbelievable.

I'm roughly 10 miles from glasgow and whilst I don't for one second doubt that a meat cleaver would be used in ANY altercation... This post did make me laugh. Because it's also true.

[carreauchompeur]

I want a picture of the wound literally coated in custard. It's the only way to be sure.

[Martin_M]

My father's a butcher - only person he's taken a meat cleaver to was a choplifter.

[btcc123]

The Police will be very interested in this as when something less severe happened to me they prosecuted the culprit.I was chasing a shoplifter and he suddenly turned and started throwing packets of white granules and those Duracell things at me.The Police charged him with assault and battery.

[PorkInsider]

LoonR1 said:

StottyEvo said:

PorkInsider said:

Wouldn't the ambulance service (or hospital) have informed plod, regardless of OP's wishes?

I can't imagine how the injury could be explained to the medics as anything other than what it was and, as far as I understand it, they have to inform the BiB.

Just spoke to my flat mate who works in A&E and he says they wouldn't necessarily call the police.

Even with an ambulance called to get him to A&E?

GMC statement on this subject:

"You should inform the police quickly whenever a person arrives with a gunshot wound or an injury from an attack with a knife, blade or sharp instrument (unless the knife or blade injury is accidental, or a result of self-harm, in which case the police should not usually be informed). If you are unsure about the cause of the injury, the GMC advises that you should consult an experienced colleague, if possible."

[Martin_M]

btcc123 said:

The Police will be very interested in this as when something less severe happened to me they prosecuted the culprit.I was chasing a shoplifter and he suddenly turned and started throwing packets of white granules and those Duracell things at me.The Police charged him with assault and battery.

I was actually arrested for stealing a calendar from WH SMITH...

I got 6 months.

[Kiltie]

mph1977 said:

carinaman said:

Photos of the X-Ray(s)?

actual x rays how quaint ...

it;s fairly hard to photograph a screen and a picture of a CD_R won't tell much ...

wet film weut out a decade ago - even the prints now are prints onto plastic sheets

Here is a photograph of a screen.



The screen is displaying an x-ray image.

Funnily enough, the image was my elbow ... and the end of the bone bit was off ... and they screwed it all back together.