Need some really good divorce advice!
Discussion
Well I'm a little clearer on a few things. I've also put a few plans into action although I'm still not sure if I'm doing the right thing or not.
I'd also like to know If, a year after splitting, my wife has any claim on the money I've been earning this year either through my old or new business?
I'd also like to know If, a year after splitting, my wife has any claim on the money I've been earning this year either through my old or new business?
Be a little wary about splitting the business right now. Until the decree absolute comes in, your assets and her assets are marital assets. You are better off not doing something that will look dodgy if a Judge pokes at it, whether that is hiding income, or artificially creating a new business that looks and smells like the old one. Unlike Phoenixing the business to avoid paying people, a Judge in a divorce case can simply give her half of the new business instead. Not fair, but who said life was?
randlemarcus said:
Be a little wary about splitting the business right now. Until the decree absolute comes in, your assets and her assets are marital assets. You are better off not doing something that will look dodgy if a Judge pokes at it, whether that is hiding income, or artificially creating a new business that looks and smells like the old one. Unlike Phoenixing the business to avoid paying people, a Judge in a divorce case can simply give her half of the new business instead. Not fair, but who said life was?
But this is my point, half of what?The business is valueless, the only asset is the money I've earned since we split. If the business account show a balance of 30k does she get half? If I was employed would she be within her rights to take half my wage since Sept 2014 because it amounts to the same thing.
MrTurtle said:
But this is my point, half of what?
The business is valueless, the only asset is the money I've earned since we split. If the business account show a balance of 30k does she get half? If I was employed would she be within her rights to take half my wage since Sept 2014 because it amounts to the same thing.
It really doesn't. When you gave her half the business, you gave her half the dividends. If you have been taking minimum wage as an employee, and the rest in divvies, well, this is the downside. If you have thirty grand stashed in the business to avoid PAYE, that's going to be painful to get out without giving her 50%. Maybe up your wage in the meantime? The business is valueless, the only asset is the money I've earned since we split. If the business account show a balance of 30k does she get half? If I was employed would she be within her rights to take half my wage since Sept 2014 because it amounts to the same thing.
I thought you had taken some advice from a solicitor
You will both fill out E1 forms which is the financial disclosure of what you both have that involves all assets that can be traced. Houses, Bank accounts, Cars, Jewellery and pensions. so yes all income you have made since you left will have to be included. (you should of started chucking spare cash under the bed by now) sounds like there ain't any as you have been to generous
Be rest assured your business has no value and the Judge will want you to keep it as that will pay the maintenance.
The courts want you both to go to mediation where you can hopefully decided who gets what and the percentages of what.
If you can come to an agreement then the Judge has to ok that agreement.
If you do not resolve this at mediation then the lawyers will ping things backwards and forwards either via there offices or at court hearings and if the other half brings in a barrister then yours will want one to.
My ex done this once then realised that it could go out of control as one session in court cost us just under 3 grand and got no where.
You will also have a choice regarding maintenance either via a consent order which once agreed cannot be altered so be very careful about how much you can afford or via the CSA
For self employed or company owners the CSA route is a piece of piss to fiddle. I have supported my current wife for 5 years and there have been 2 hearings because her ex gave his limited company to his sister and then paid himself £1,000 per month. Gave another company to his son. Sends the new payslip to CSA they reduce the amount he pays based on this salary they are so thick that they amend the order on this info and she then had to appeal on 2 occasions the hearings took for ever and they have no powers to insist on his financial statements only request it. So you open up 3 bank account, 3 credit cards and produce one set so judge thinks your co operating (total Joke)
You will both fill out E1 forms which is the financial disclosure of what you both have that involves all assets that can be traced. Houses, Bank accounts, Cars, Jewellery and pensions. so yes all income you have made since you left will have to be included. (you should of started chucking spare cash under the bed by now) sounds like there ain't any as you have been to generous
Be rest assured your business has no value and the Judge will want you to keep it as that will pay the maintenance.
The courts want you both to go to mediation where you can hopefully decided who gets what and the percentages of what.
If you can come to an agreement then the Judge has to ok that agreement.
If you do not resolve this at mediation then the lawyers will ping things backwards and forwards either via there offices or at court hearings and if the other half brings in a barrister then yours will want one to.
My ex done this once then realised that it could go out of control as one session in court cost us just under 3 grand and got no where.
You will also have a choice regarding maintenance either via a consent order which once agreed cannot be altered so be very careful about how much you can afford or via the CSA
For self employed or company owners the CSA route is a piece of piss to fiddle. I have supported my current wife for 5 years and there have been 2 hearings because her ex gave his limited company to his sister and then paid himself £1,000 per month. Gave another company to his son. Sends the new payslip to CSA they reduce the amount he pays based on this salary they are so thick that they amend the order on this info and she then had to appeal on 2 occasions the hearings took for ever and they have no powers to insist on his financial statements only request it. So you open up 3 bank account, 3 credit cards and produce one set so judge thinks your co operating (total Joke)
hunton69 said:
I thought you had taken some advice from a solicitor
You will both fill out E1 forms which is the financial disclosure of what you both have that involves all assets that can be traced. Houses, Bank accounts, Cars, Jewellery and pensions. so yes all income you have made since you left will have to be included. (you should of started chucking spare cash under the bed by now) sounds like there ain't any as you have been to generous
Be rest assured your business has no value and the Judge will want you to keep it as that will pay the maintenance.
The courts want you both to go to mediation where you can hopefully decided who gets what and the percentages of what.
If you can come to an agreement then the Judge has to ok that agreement.
If you do not resolve this at mediation then the lawyers will ping things backwards and forwards either via there offices or at court hearings and if the other half brings in a barrister then yours will want one to.
My ex done this once then realised that it could go out of control as one session in court cost us just under 3 grand and got no where.
You will also have a choice regarding maintenance either via a consent order which once agreed cannot be altered so be very careful about how much you can afford or via the CSA
For self employed or company owners the CSA route is a piece of piss to fiddle. I have supported my current wife for 5 years and there have been 2 hearings because her ex gave his limited company to his sister and then paid himself £1,000 per month. Gave another company to his son. Sends the new payslip to CSA they reduce the amount he pays based on this salary they are so thick that they amend the order on this info and she then had to appeal on 2 occasions the hearings took for ever and they have no powers to insist on his financial statements only request it. So you open up 3 bank account, 3 credit cards and produce one set so judge thinks your co operating (total Joke)
Good advice, aside from the Consent Order. After a year, the CSA can utterly disregard this. Which was nice.You will both fill out E1 forms which is the financial disclosure of what you both have that involves all assets that can be traced. Houses, Bank accounts, Cars, Jewellery and pensions. so yes all income you have made since you left will have to be included. (you should of started chucking spare cash under the bed by now) sounds like there ain't any as you have been to generous
Be rest assured your business has no value and the Judge will want you to keep it as that will pay the maintenance.
The courts want you both to go to mediation where you can hopefully decided who gets what and the percentages of what.
If you can come to an agreement then the Judge has to ok that agreement.
If you do not resolve this at mediation then the lawyers will ping things backwards and forwards either via there offices or at court hearings and if the other half brings in a barrister then yours will want one to.
My ex done this once then realised that it could go out of control as one session in court cost us just under 3 grand and got no where.
You will also have a choice regarding maintenance either via a consent order which once agreed cannot be altered so be very careful about how much you can afford or via the CSA
For self employed or company owners the CSA route is a piece of piss to fiddle. I have supported my current wife for 5 years and there have been 2 hearings because her ex gave his limited company to his sister and then paid himself £1,000 per month. Gave another company to his son. Sends the new payslip to CSA they reduce the amount he pays based on this salary they are so thick that they amend the order on this info and she then had to appeal on 2 occasions the hearings took for ever and they have no powers to insist on his financial statements only request it. So you open up 3 bank account, 3 credit cards and produce one set so judge thinks your co operating (total Joke)
I got divorced 15 years ago.
It was awful.
Solicitor advised me that I should stop using words like fair - it isn't fair to the husband and never will be. he said the important thing was to think about the kids and their happiness, bite the bullet and move on.
She got my house, a £1500 monthly payment and an£80k lump sum. It was a nightmare at the time; now it seems like a bargain.
Get it over with, and then move on. Negative stuff destroys lives.
It was awful.
Solicitor advised me that I should stop using words like fair - it isn't fair to the husband and never will be. he said the important thing was to think about the kids and their happiness, bite the bullet and move on.
She got my house, a £1500 monthly payment and an£80k lump sum. It was a nightmare at the time; now it seems like a bargain.
Get it over with, and then move on. Negative stuff destroys lives.
Ex Boy Racer said:
I got divorced 15 years ago.
It was awful.
Solicitor advised me that I should stop using words like fair - it isn't fair to the husband and never will be. he said the important thing was to think about the kids and their happiness, bite the bullet and move on.
She got my house, a £1500 monthly payment and an£80k lump sum. It was a nightmare at the time; now it seems like a bargain.
Get it over with, and then move on. Negative stuff destroys lives.
Well that's cheered me up! It was awful.
Solicitor advised me that I should stop using words like fair - it isn't fair to the husband and never will be. he said the important thing was to think about the kids and their happiness, bite the bullet and move on.
She got my house, a £1500 monthly payment and an£80k lump sum. It was a nightmare at the time; now it seems like a bargain.
Get it over with, and then move on. Negative stuff destroys lives.
Can't believe she can take half of my current earnings even though we split a year ago. Looks like the longer she strings this out the more it'll cost me.
MrTurtle said:
Well that's cheered me up!
Can't believe she can take half of my current earnings even though we split a year ago. Looks like the longer she strings this out the more it'll cost me.
She isn't a girl friend she is your wife and still is until you get divorced.Can't believe she can take half of my current earnings even though we split a year ago. Looks like the longer she strings this out the more it'll cost me.
When you say I DO that is the biggest contract you will ever make. You now have to go through the procedure of breaking that contract.
For some it's a game that they must win.
You need to talk to people who have gone through the process and use the parts that may work for you. Every divorce is unique as everyone has different circumstances. Some people feel sorry for those that loose millions I don't as it meant they had millions in the first place and there is enough money for both to carry on there lives. I feel sorry for the guys who have one house and a couple of quid in the bank as splitting leaves neither with much.
I also found a solicitor in the beginning who would give me advice (I would pay for that) but not act for me because once they act for you the other party has to go through your solicitor to answer all questions and that costs money. Once we got all the crap out the way then he came on board officially.
Reading between the lines your ex appears to be in more control of this than you.
MrTurtle said:
Well that's cheered me up!
Can't believe she can take half of my current earnings even though we split a year ago. Looks like the longer she strings this out the more it'll cost me.
But that's what you agreed to by giving her half of the business Can't believe she can take half of my current earnings even though we split a year ago. Looks like the longer she strings this out the more it'll cost me.
If your wages leave the company with no profit, she gets half of nothing, same as you, at dividend payment time. You get more money in your paypacket, and pay more tax. She gets wages for work done - if nothing, then nothing (be careful you don't open yourself up to an Employment Tribunal here). You said she gets wages - consider some HR advice on how to stop that cleanly.Tread carefully at the same time as moving forwards. Anything obviously spiteful might attract issues going forwards.
Christ. Good luck OP. If it was me, I'd move back in, if only to show her she doesn't get to have everything her own way if nothing else.
You really must stand up to her. I don't know what these issues you had to deal with were, but even if it made life rough for her, it doesn't justify out and out nastiness and greed.
Stop rolling over like a well trained dog!
I hope you find a good way to move forward.
You really must stand up to her. I don't know what these issues you had to deal with were, but even if it made life rough for her, it doesn't justify out and out nastiness and greed.
Stop rolling over like a well trained dog!
I hope you find a good way to move forward.
randlemarcus said:
But that's what you agreed to by giving her half of the business If your wages leave the company with no profit, she gets half of nothing, same as you, at dividend payment time. You get more money in your paypacket, and pay more tax. She gets wages for work done - if nothing, then nothing (be careful you don't open yourself up to an Employment Tribunal here). You said she gets wages - consider some HR advice on how to stop that cleanly.
Tread carefully at the same time as moving forwards. Anything obviously spiteful might attract issues going forwards.
The fact they are married means she owned half of the business in the first place and any sensible business man pays his wife a wage so they get the benefit of the tax allowance. OP do not worry about HR or a tribunal cause it won't happen If your wages leave the company with no profit, she gets half of nothing, same as you, at dividend payment time. You get more money in your paypacket, and pay more tax. She gets wages for work done - if nothing, then nothing (be careful you don't open yourself up to an Employment Tribunal here). You said she gets wages - consider some HR advice on how to stop that cleanly.Tread carefully at the same time as moving forwards. Anything obviously spiteful might attract issues going forwards.
hunton69 said:
randlemarcus said:
But that's what you agreed to by giving her half of the business If your wages leave the company with no profit, she gets half of nothing, same as you, at dividend payment time. You get more money in your paypacket, and pay more tax. She gets wages for work done - if nothing, then nothing (be careful you don't open yourself up to an Employment Tribunal here). You said she gets wages - consider some HR advice on how to stop that cleanly.
Tread carefully at the same time as moving forwards. Anything obviously spiteful might attract issues going forwards.
The fact they are married means she owned half of the business in the first place and any sensible business man pays his wife a wage so they get the benefit of the tax allowance. OP do not worry about HR or a tribunal cause it won't happen If your wages leave the company with no profit, she gets half of nothing, same as you, at dividend payment time. You get more money in your paypacket, and pay more tax. She gets wages for work done - if nothing, then nothing (be careful you don't open yourself up to an Employment Tribunal here). You said she gets wages - consider some HR advice on how to stop that cleanly.Tread carefully at the same time as moving forwards. Anything obviously spiteful might attract issues going forwards.
If they had been married a year and had no kids, that wouldn't be the assumed position.
johnfm said:
hunton69 said:
randlemarcus said:
But that's what you agreed to by giving her half of the business If your wages leave the company with no profit, she gets half of nothing, same as you, at dividend payment time. You get more money in your paypacket, and pay more tax. She gets wages for work done - if nothing, then nothing (be careful you don't open yourself up to an Employment Tribunal here). You said she gets wages - consider some HR advice on how to stop that cleanly.
Tread carefully at the same time as moving forwards. Anything obviously spiteful might attract issues going forwards.
The fact they are married means she owned half of the business in the first place and any sensible business man pays his wife a wage so they get the benefit of the tax allowance. OP do not worry about HR or a tribunal cause it won't happen If your wages leave the company with no profit, she gets half of nothing, same as you, at dividend payment time. You get more money in your paypacket, and pay more tax. She gets wages for work done - if nothing, then nothing (be careful you don't open yourself up to an Employment Tribunal here). You said she gets wages - consider some HR advice on how to stop that cleanly.Tread carefully at the same time as moving forwards. Anything obviously spiteful might attract issues going forwards.
If they had been married a year and had no kids, that wouldn't be the assumed position.
It's a very good test on a partners suitability as opposed to shaggability.
I'm a f
king idiot.
Went round tonight, walked in, found my wife on the sofa and she went ballistic. Screamed at me to get out, ran round to the neighbours and called the police. We then had a slanging match on the front lawn. I left, taking the front door key with me.
Phone call from the police and it's now on record. Think she's basically saying I've been physically abusive in the past and that she feared for her safety.
Call her later on, apologised for upsetting her but admitted I wanted a reaction. She has apparently recorded the call. Returned the key an hour later and I'm now sat here regretting the whole thing. Good mind to just sign the lot over and end this nightmare.
I give up.
king idiot.Went round tonight, walked in, found my wife on the sofa and she went ballistic. Screamed at me to get out, ran round to the neighbours and called the police. We then had a slanging match on the front lawn. I left, taking the front door key with me.
Phone call from the police and it's now on record. Think she's basically saying I've been physically abusive in the past and that she feared for her safety.
Call her later on, apologised for upsetting her but admitted I wanted a reaction. She has apparently recorded the call. Returned the key an hour later and I'm now sat here regretting the whole thing. Good mind to just sign the lot over and end this nightmare.
I give up.
johnfm said:
flemke said:
johnfm said:
And change all your passwords on your emails etc.
My wife's friend was logging into her ex's emails during the divorce negotitations - where he was emailing his mum about where he'd stashed various assets, bank accounts, offshore funds etc.
He was confused as to how her lawyer knew where all his stuff was hidden!
How long ago did this incident w your wife's friend and her ex take place - since July, 2010?My wife's friend was logging into her ex's emails during the divorce negotitations - where he was emailing his mum about where he'd stashed various assets, bank accounts, offshore funds etc.
He was confused as to how her lawyer knew where all his stuff was hidden!
In that month, there was a landmark Court of Appeal ruling that forbade the use of information that was obtained without the permission of the owner (of the information). It was called "Imerman v Tchenguiz".
Not trying to digress, this potentially could be relevant to OP, or to anyone else in the midst of a divorce.
Surprising that the other side let her get away with it. Either her ex did not figure out what she had done, or his solicitor was incompetent.
MrTurtle said:
I'm a fking idiot.
Went round tonight, walked in, found my wife on the sofa and she went ballistic. Screamed at me to get out, ran round to the neighbours and called the police. We then had a slanging match on the front lawn. I left, taking the front door key with me.
Phone call from the police and it's now on record. Think she's basically saying I've been physically abusive in the past and that she feared for her safety.
Call her later on, apologised for upsetting her but admitted I wanted a reaction. She has apparently recorded the call. Returned the key an hour later and I'm now sat here regretting the whole thing. Good mind to just sign the lot over and end this nightmare.
I give up.
Wonder if you could get the police to attend next time? I think she's trying to make it out that she's scared of you and trying to use this to secure a means of you not being allowed to enter the house. king idiot.Went round tonight, walked in, found my wife on the sofa and she went ballistic. Screamed at me to get out, ran round to the neighbours and called the police. We then had a slanging match on the front lawn. I left, taking the front door key with me.
Phone call from the police and it's now on record. Think she's basically saying I've been physically abusive in the past and that she feared for her safety.
Call her later on, apologised for upsetting her but admitted I wanted a reaction. She has apparently recorded the call. Returned the key an hour later and I'm now sat here regretting the whole thing. Good mind to just sign the lot over and end this nightmare.
I give up.
flemke said:
johnfm said:
And change all your passwords on your emails etc.
My wife's friend was logging into her ex's emails during the divorce negotitations - where he was emailing his mum about where he'd stashed various assets, bank accounts, offshore funds etc.
He was confused as to how her lawyer knew where all his stuff was hidden!
How long ago did this incident w your wife's friend and her ex take place - since July, 2010?My wife's friend was logging into her ex's emails during the divorce negotitations - where he was emailing his mum about where he'd stashed various assets, bank accounts, offshore funds etc.
He was confused as to how her lawyer knew where all his stuff was hidden!
In that month, there was a landmark Court of Appeal ruling that forbade the use of information that was obtained without the permission of the owner (of the information). It was called "Imerman v Tchenguiz".
The ruling stood Hildebrand v Hildebrand on it head. Those who are interested might like to read this - http://www.familylawweek.co.uk/site.aspx?i=ed11513...What did we say about doing daft stuff? Eejit. This is happening, you are not going to change her mind. Read the posts about what constitutes winning, and have a good long hard look at them. Get it over with as cheaply as possible, forget trying to hurt her or get a reaction - that's just messing with your childrens heads, and thats not a good thing.
Dont get pissed alone, and do not shag her for old times sake.
Dont get pissed alone, and do not shag her for old times sake.
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