Dying without a wil

[rfisher]

stuartmmcfc said:

I wondered about his possessions that have sentimental value. I guess the value of his estate would amount to a few thousand. It's not the money at all though. His Wife lives in Ireland. I don't even know how to contact her.
What would happen regards access to his home if she shows no interest? There's things like his model trains which have a value of less than a £100 but we played with them when I was a child, I hate to think of them going in a bin. There's numerous things like that. It's alright him saying " help yourself to what ever you want" but if they're not legally ours to take or my Sister and I both would like the same item as a memory I.d hate to fall out.
What about his dog? I dont really want it, but if his Wife decided to give it away, how could I stop her? I owe it to my Dad to look after it.
I have no issue with his Wife at all ( and hopefully she felt the same way)but the way she left shows her true colours imho. I could potentially see her being quite difficult about it.
I also was concerned about funereal arrangements and how my Mothers feelings over what may happen could be overridden by the legal rights of his Wife.
It's all fairly small but I wondered if a will or something could tie these loose ends up before the envitable happened and we're trying to guess what he wanted.
I'm trying to convince him that he needs to make some sort of plan, but I've been on about it for the last 5 years with no luck.

If he got divorced then it'd make life a lot easier but he seems to have no desire for some strange reason. He worries about the cost I think but on principle doesn't see why he should bear the cost.

Edited by stuartmmcfc on Sunday 22 November 21:05

Very well written.

I'm going through this at the moment, so I can testify from personal experience just how much of a mess any death in a family makes, will or no will.

Dealing with the loss is hard enough.

Dealing with the rest of the 'family' is equally difficult.

You need to have frank discussions with all involved parties now, if you want to try to ease the post-death process.

It sounds like you don't need a will (which I doubt - does he own his house, have any savings, have bank accounts etc.?), but there may well be disagreements as to what gets chucked in a skip and what gets distributed to relatives.

Good luck, and well done for trying to deal with this now.

[Rude-boy]

OP there may be no 'significant' money or assets but they will still be there.

If his reasons for not making a Will are purely based on value and cost i would suggest that (unless you are on the bread line yourself!) you offer to pay for it and get one done.

Obviously money is a massive ground for people to fall out over after the death of a close relative but even more hurt and real pain can be caused by the failure to correctly, legally, leave personal keepsakes and items. It also makes things a lot 'cleaner' with the ex but not ex wife should she, or worse her relatives, stick their oar in when the old boy does forget to keep breathing one day.

[HTP99]

stuartmmcfc said:

,My father is 78 now and won't make a will. He's married but his (much younger) wife left him about 6 years ago. They are not divorced. She is a fairly reasonable sort.

My dad died in December last year, there was a will but as it wasn't legal there may have well been no will, my dad was still married to and still lived with his similar aged wife of 5 years; my stepmum, who we all thought was a lovely woman, she has turned into an absolute cow and I cannot wait until the sale of the house has gone through and she fks off as I never ever want to see her again.

My sister and I have managed to get a few things out of the house but stepmum is stalling on a few things that she knows mean an awful lot to both myself and my sister; I think she is doing it to be difficult, that last bit of control that she has over us; a family ring for example that passes down through the first born males of the family upon the death of the previous first born male, I am still waiting for it "I haven't gone through the jewellery yet", she knows where it is as she wore it round her neck thread through a necklace for a few months.

There are many more other things too, what I am saying is they may seem lovely but appearances aren't all that they seem.

Edited by HTP99 on Monday 23 November 14:59

[littleredrooster]

DIW35 said:

DIW35 said:

It's amazing how much of a person's estate goes to the government if they die intestate. For that reason alone it's worth making a will.

Typing in a rush before going out.

Perhaps if I had said 'It's amazing how much of a person's estate can go to the government if they die intestate. For that reason alone it's worth making a will.' which is what I actually meant, it wouldn't have attracted some of the vitriol that this forum is also famous for.

Perhaps if your statement - or your back-pedalling - had contained some element of reality, or explanation, it may not have been quite so derided. And perhaps if you - and others - actually thought about what they were typing before pressing 'Submit', this forum would be so much more informed; it is really not a forum for slack opinions and I sometimes tire of reading such crap.

Maybe you could explain why dying intestate can lead to the Government profiting?

[DIW35]

littleredrooster said:

Maybe you could explain why dying intestate can lead to the Government profiting?

If someone with no living relatives dies intestate, the entire estate goes to the crown. Explanation enough?

[pork911]

Slaav said:

If he won't do a Will, will he consider a PoA?

how likely do you really think that is?

OP explain your concerns to your dad about all the practicalities and sentimental stuff and that you just want everything clear and as per his wishes - if its still a no, then that's that, leave it, enjoy your time with him and whatever happens happens.

[majordad]

Could you not get your Dad to divvy out the stuff now when he's alive as gifts? Ask him what he wants to happen to his dog and suggest it would be fair if some money were given now to pay for the dogs future. You say he has no assets of valuue so it should be really simple. And the wife in Ireland is neither here nor there if there's nothing left at the end.

[stuartmmcfc]

M,I'm going to have a chat with him this week hopefully.
The problem is I think he's quite scared of dying and thinks any planning is encouraging the situation.
His dog is the key. He loves her and would hate the idea off anything happening to her. I'm going to suggest that I pay for his divorce. His attitude is "why should I pay when she caused it", so I'll remove that obstacle - if he really does want a legal separation.

If he's still reluctant then I'll leave it.

Edited by stuartmmcfc on Saturday 28th November 19:10

[Red Devil]

Getting back to the subject of the thread title. Is that not the main objective here?
I reckon the cost of a will in such a case is going to be a lot less than that of a divorce.
If it were me, that's what I would be focussing on and what I would be offering to pay a solicitor for.

Without a will the wife gets the lot (provided she survives him by the relevant time frame).
If he makes one, specific bequests can decide who gets what.
If his dog is that important to him then you have a ready made 'selling point' right there.
(Should the pooch not survive him it's academic, but still...)

As long as he doesn't cut out his wife entirely there shouldn't be much of a problem with a small estate.
She would have to be bat-s*** crazy to challenge it.

https://www.moneyadviceservice.org.uk/en/articles/...
The preliminary advice (i.e. before step 1) is the key to the whole business.
If he can't or won't bend his mind to this though there is nothing you can do.

You might find this flowchart helpful - http://www.mindatrest.co.uk/blog/intestacy-rules-2...
The important bit is what is written in the box-outs on the left hand side.

Hope your chat bears fruit.