Blackmail, I think...
Discussion
I would agree with those who suggest owning up to partner (+/- police).
In response to the comment "soon to be ex-" and the ligitimate worry of your friend regarding the loss of her partner, things may not be as bleak as she thinks. In my younger days, I would've had that feared response; if you cheat on me, you're on your own. Then I met the woman who would one day become my wife and realised what true love was. Then I helped a very close friend through infidelity within their marriage. And one day I sat down and thought about it all, how would I react now if my wife cheated on me. The conclusion I reached surprised me, to be honest, as I had thought that this would've been a fleeting moment and nothing would've changed. I realised that I loved my wife far too much and would work at saving our relationship and mariage if she had an affair; I wouldn't be able to just walk away. In fact, if it was a one off, drunken mistake, I would rather not know as it wouldn't change anything and I know she would feel rubbish herself. Neither is ever likely to happen but I had the scenarios playing through my head.
Anyway, what I'm trying to say is that your friend may have much less to fear than she thinks by talking to her partner openly. He may well be very supportive of her and it could make their relationship much stronger. In any case, good luck to her through this difficulty.
In response to the comment "soon to be ex-" and the ligitimate worry of your friend regarding the loss of her partner, things may not be as bleak as she thinks. In my younger days, I would've had that feared response; if you cheat on me, you're on your own. Then I met the woman who would one day become my wife and realised what true love was. Then I helped a very close friend through infidelity within their marriage. And one day I sat down and thought about it all, how would I react now if my wife cheated on me. The conclusion I reached surprised me, to be honest, as I had thought that this would've been a fleeting moment and nothing would've changed. I realised that I loved my wife far too much and would work at saving our relationship and mariage if she had an affair; I wouldn't be able to just walk away. In fact, if it was a one off, drunken mistake, I would rather not know as it wouldn't change anything and I know she would feel rubbish herself. Neither is ever likely to happen but I had the scenarios playing through my head.
Anyway, what I'm trying to say is that your friend may have much less to fear than she thinks by talking to her partner openly. He may well be very supportive of her and it could make their relationship much stronger. In any case, good luck to her through this difficulty.
Rude-boy said:
Most certainly not to be used for ideas but for escapism there is a book by a chap call Frederick Forsyth called "No Comebacks". It is a collection of short stories.
One of these is called "Money with Menaces".
Whilst I absolutely cannot condone the actions of the victim I do rather like his style.
(There is another in there called "Privilege" which I also rather liked
)
I've got the book somewhere but not read it for a bit. Is it the one with the hitman who also shoots the women he wants to get rid of the evidence?One of these is called "Money with Menaces".
Whilst I absolutely cannot condone the actions of the victim I do rather like his style.
(There is another in there called "Privilege" which I also rather liked
)There is another aspect to this.
She has a lever over the bloke. He has committed a serious offence, one viewed with a certain level of repulsion by the courts.
She, or perhaps a friend of hers, could go to the chap and say that if ever the boyfriend finds out about the one night stand, she'll have nothing to lose and will go to the police with her evidence of making demands with menaces. This regardless of the source.
She has a lever over the bloke. He has committed a serious offence, one viewed with a certain level of repulsion by the courts.
She, or perhaps a friend of hers, could go to the chap and say that if ever the boyfriend finds out about the one night stand, she'll have nothing to lose and will go to the police with her evidence of making demands with menaces. This regardless of the source.
The fact she paid the guy suggests she values her long term partner (relatively speaking anyway).
Get her to tell him everything, including the blackmail and the fact she's already paid him. If he cares about the relationship his sympathy might override his anger. Him knowing that she paid several hundred to try and preserve the relationship might be seen as positive from his perspective, in a twisted way.
What a sordid mess though, feel for the poor oblivious partner.
Get her to tell him everything, including the blackmail and the fact she's already paid him. If he cares about the relationship his sympathy might override his anger. Him knowing that she paid several hundred to try and preserve the relationship might be seen as positive from his perspective, in a twisted way.
What a sordid mess though, feel for the poor oblivious partner.
Edited by Durzel on Monday 30th November 20:38
Durzel said:
The fact she paid the guy suggests she values her long term partner (relatively speaking anyway).
Maybe not:montymoo said:
I've asked how it can get worse and if she tells her partner what can he then do.. she shakes her head and wont talk anymore..
Perhaps the blackmailer has pics of her spunky bumhole? 
http://www.bbc.co.uk/newsbeat/article/23724703/cyb...
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1043784/Go...
http://www.belfasttelegraph.co.uk/news/uk/woman-wh...
She should contact the police.
Thinking about it would CrimeStoppers be a better move?
I think she should call CrimeStoppers. More may be done if the initial contact goes through CrimeStoppers, they'll be some element of traceability.
Playing tit for tat and making spurious allegations of rape is not the way to go. Why risk making the victim as dodgy as the alleged perp?
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1043784/Go...
http://www.belfasttelegraph.co.uk/news/uk/woman-wh...
She should contact the police.
Thinking about it would CrimeStoppers be a better move?
I think she should call CrimeStoppers. More may be done if the initial contact goes through CrimeStoppers, they'll be some element of traceability.
Playing tit for tat and making spurious allegations of rape is not the way to go. Why risk making the victim as dodgy as the alleged perp?
Edited by carinaman on Tuesday 1st December 16:48
Partner has been told, no hasty decisions have been made by him.
As I have said shes not the type for making counter allegations and calling bluffs, that sounds like a s
tstorm waiting to happen. I'm hoping that having told her partner and using the "leave me alone or i'll go to the police and show them everything" will be enough to make to make this guy stop.
Obviously if it doesnt and this does go to the police ect i'll post up what happens ect.. This guy is a cretin.
As I have said shes not the type for making counter allegations and calling bluffs, that sounds like a s
tstorm waiting to happen. I'm hoping that having told her partner and using the "leave me alone or i'll go to the police and show them everything" will be enough to make to make this guy stop.Obviously if it doesnt and this does go to the police ect i'll post up what happens ect.. This guy is a cretin.
xjay1337 said:
I think her partner should tell the guy to back off.
Think that would get the message across.
This.Think that would get the message across.
If he's sticking by her then just get him to contact the bloke - then he knows he's got no leverage at all.
Your friend is a bit silly though, on several levels. Hopefully she'll learn from this.
RegMolehusband said:
Isn't now the time to go to the police and stop this guy before he does the same to somebody else?
On the one side i would say yes, on the other i would say don't worry about that.Let Karma deal with him. Not everyone is law abiding and not everyone reacts to being blackmail the same way. In addition to this the sort who would seek to blackmail someone are quite likely to have fingers in other pies and not being the brightest might end up losing one or more of said fingers...
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