Removing cheating spouse from home - URGENT advice needed
Discussion
ali_kat said:
Once again, I'm ashamed to be the same sex as your ex
Thanks guys... I should say I have gained a much closer relationship with all the kids since separation. My daughters were here at the beginning of the week and are very calm and happy here. My 7 year old in particular looks at her older brother and asks when she will be old enough to be able to make the same decision to live with me. All children express some disdain at the new living arrangement with the new man. I'm hopeful that if I get as far as a family court, their wishes will be heard and taken into account. Thats all I want, really.
I'm sorry to hear things aren't going well, given you have had social care involvement the court will likely ask for a section 7 report (Children Act 1989) when you make the application re the children.
Were the Social Workers investigating under section 17 or section 47 (Children Act 1989)? Have you seen the report?
I'm happy to help further by PM if you want and can supply my HCPC number if required?
Were the Social Workers investigating under section 17 or section 47 (Children Act 1989)? Have you seen the report?
I'm happy to help further by PM if you want and can supply my HCPC number if required?
Fab32 said:
I'm sorry to hear things aren't going well, given you have had social care involvement the court will likely ask for a section 7 report (Children Act 1989) when you make the application re the children.
Were the Social Workers investigating under section 17 or section 47 (Children Act 1989)? Have you seen the report?
I'm happy to help further by PM if you want and can supply my HCPC number if required?
Please do PM - I'd appreciate that very muchWere the Social Workers investigating under section 17 or section 47 (Children Act 1989)? Have you seen the report?
I'm happy to help further by PM if you want and can supply my HCPC number if required?
ali_kat said:
Once again, I'm ashamed to be the same sex as your ex
Awful behaviour.
Blocking contact damages the child far more than the parent it was intended to hurt. I never blocked, in fact actively encouraged it, as a good relationship with his dad is what my son should have (and does).
I have my daughters back in my care after the ex staged a dramatic climb down - yet another testament to her wildly erratic behaviour - and SS declared no risk following some assessment of the child concerned. I have still yet to receive any formal contact from a social worker or even the vaguest apology from the ex, who I expect now wishes to sweep the matter firmly under the carpet.
It has been an extremely distressing week - not only for my family and I but for the kids too. I understand it reached the point yesterday where my autistic daughter screamed the house down from the moment she awoke to being assured that she would see me again that very day. I expect that swiftly became inconvenient for the ex and her new partner, who now have a childless weekend ahead.
I'm delighted to have them back, an am now determined to formalise childcare arrangements which take into account the children's clearly expressed wishes to spend as much time in my home as possible.
It has been an extremely distressing week - not only for my family and I but for the kids too. I understand it reached the point yesterday where my autistic daughter screamed the house down from the moment she awoke to being assured that she would see me again that very day. I expect that swiftly became inconvenient for the ex and her new partner, who now have a childless weekend ahead.
I'm delighted to have them back, an am now determined to formalise childcare arrangements which take into account the children's clearly expressed wishes to spend as much time in my home as possible.
Nothing to add other than great news about the kids and that i hope it all pans out as well as possible for you in the future.
I can understand people's desires for money and what they want but when they get to the point of making false allegations to the SS to try to get their way they have crossed a Rubicon.
Personally if i were the family member she has made these false statements about I would be looking at any and all angles to cut her off at the knees. Starting with suing her for every penny she has and will be getting out of you with the sole intent of covering my legal costs and then putting any award away in trust for the children.
I can understand people's desires for money and what they want but when they get to the point of making false allegations to the SS to try to get their way they have crossed a Rubicon.
Personally if i were the family member she has made these false statements about I would be looking at any and all angles to cut her off at the knees. Starting with suing her for every penny she has and will be getting out of you with the sole intent of covering my legal costs and then putting any award away in trust for the children.
After a few weeks of having the ex's ideal childcare arrangements imposed upon me, with constant reminders that she will dictate the terms by which I will have contact with them, I have now drafted an application for an arrangements order in the family court. Finding oneself in a very one-sided co-parenting relationship with an ex from hell is not something I can wholeheartedly recommend to fellow PHers 
theboss said:
After a few weeks of having the ex's ideal childcare arrangements imposed upon me, with constant reminders that she will dictate the terms by which I will have contact with them, I have now drafted an application for an arrangements order in the family court. Finding oneself in a very one-sided co-parenting relationship with an ex from hell is not something I can wholeheartedly recommend to fellow PHers
- sympathetic wince*
theboss said:
After a few weeks of having the ex's ideal childcare arrangements imposed upon me, with constant reminders that she will dictate the terms by which I will have contact with them, I have now drafted an application for an arrangements order in the family court. Finding oneself in a very one-sided co-parenting relationship with an ex from hell is not something I can wholeheartedly recommend to fellow PHers
You ll be popular when that little gem lands on her doorstep lol Good luck OP
Update to the thread... first I want to say I re-read this whole thread recently over a bottle of wine and was just bowled over by the responses, many of which I think i could hardly take in at the time when everything was happening. I am truly grateful. I received a lot of PM too and I am equally grateful for them.
Today was the day when the ex stood on my doorstep sobbing and begging to be taken back. I never thought it would happen let alone within 6 months. It seems the wheels have come off her new relationship. I have a date for my first court hearing in respct of the children and am proceeding with the divorce. Its been a bewildering six months but time is definitely helping.
I have also struck up a great friendship with the ex of the affair partner and am colluding with her on our respective divorce and financial proceedings.
Today was the day when the ex stood on my doorstep sobbing and begging to be taken back. I never thought it would happen let alone within 6 months. It seems the wheels have come off her new relationship. I have a date for my first court hearing in respct of the children and am proceeding with the divorce. Its been a bewildering six months but time is definitely helping.
I have also struck up a great friendship with the ex of the affair partner and am colluding with her on our respective divorce and financial proceedings.
theboss said:
Update to the thread... first I want to say I re-read this whole thread recently over a bottle of wine and was just bowled over by the responses, many of which I think i could hardly take in at the time when everything was happening. I am truly grateful. I received a lot of PM too and I am equally grateful for them.
Today was the day when the ex stood on my doorstep sobbing and begging to be taken back. I never thought it would happen let alone within 6 months. It seems the wheels have come off her new relationship. I have a date for my first court hearing in respct of the children and am proceeding with the divorce. Its been a bewildering six months but time is definitely helping.
I have also struck up a great friendship with the ex of the affair partner and am colluding with her on our respective divorce and financial proceedings.
Firstly, congrats - You seem to be in a good place.Today was the day when the ex stood on my doorstep sobbing and begging to be taken back. I never thought it would happen let alone within 6 months. It seems the wheels have come off her new relationship. I have a date for my first court hearing in respct of the children and am proceeding with the divorce. Its been a bewildering six months but time is definitely helping.
I have also struck up a great friendship with the ex of the affair partner and am colluding with her on our respective divorce and financial proceedings.
Secondly, as usual, PH is (pretty much) on the mark for relationship advice. She came begging back, and you told her to get stuffed. Good for you mate.
Regarding the ex of the affair partner, that may be good - But I would be cautious what you tell her. You never know what complications it could bring if any of it makes it back to either respective ex-partner.
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