Mother's wishes with regards to other woman..

Mother's wishes with regards to other woman..

Author
Discussion

drivin_me_nuts

Original Poster:

17,949 posts

210 months

Monday 18th July 2016
quotequote all
I'm not sure if this sits in this forum, but anyway I'll ask here...

Someone I know has three kids and a husband who has been having an affair the has produced a child, now over one years old.

It's all been a mess but yesterday the father told the eldest daughter that she has a baby sister - in the hours before he left.

He's also insisting that when he sees his children, he will introduce them to their new half sister.

This is absolutely against the wishes of the mother who will in effect have to pick up the pieces of their disrupted lives.

Legally, is there any way that she can prevent this from happening until the children are older ( now 8, 6, 4).

Cheers.

eybic

9,212 posts

173 months

Monday 18th July 2016
quotequote all
I very much doubt that any court would allow or want to put a block on siblings being introduced to other siblings.

StuTheGrouch

5,714 posts

161 months

Monday 18th July 2016
quotequote all
Legally, I very much doubt it

Jasandjules

69,825 posts

228 months

Monday 18th July 2016
quotequote all
A mother wants to prevent her children seeing their half sister? No, that is not likely to be something a court will prevent.

drivin_me_nuts

Original Poster:

17,949 posts

210 months

Monday 18th July 2016
quotequote all
Thanks. Good to know. He's a piece of work and rather bullying and manipulative in his words and deeds. Seems like he gets his way - not because it's right that they all meet, but because he wants to exert his authority of 'I do what I want' over the mother.

Tiggsy

10,261 posts

251 months

Monday 18th July 2016
quotequote all
Isnt this one of those cases where the one left with the kids has the power? Assuming he wants to see his kids.......people always say the dads don't get the access they want - that cause 90% of the time, they bugger off!


If dads all went for full custody then you'd have women climbing bigben moaning about seeing the kids.

PurpleMoonlight

22,362 posts

156 months

Monday 18th July 2016
quotequote all
drivin_me_nuts said:
Seems like he gets his way - not because it's right that they all meet, but because he wants to exert his authority of 'I do what I want' over the mother.
And of course the mother isn't doing that too by demanding they don't.

rolleyes

drivin_me_nuts

Original Poster:

17,949 posts

210 months

Monday 18th July 2016
quotequote all
Tiggsy said:
Isnt this one of those cases where the one left with the kids has the power? Assuming he wants to see his kids.......people always say the dads don't get the access they want - that cause 90% of the time, they bugger off!


If dads all went for full custody then you'd have women climbing bigben moaning about seeing the kids.
He's says his kids irritate him. Which is nice. He left before, she let him back.

I do think, as do quite a few others, that he is a sociopath. He certainly exhibits quite a few behaviours described in the definition.

Anyway, enough.

...



Thanks for the legal thoughts. Much appreciated

spookly

4,011 posts

94 months

Monday 18th July 2016
quotequote all
Tiggsy said:
Isnt this one of those cases where the one left with the kids has the power? Assuming he wants to see his kids.......people always say the dads don't get the access they want - that cause 90% of the time, they bugger off!


If dads all went for full custody then you'd have women climbing bigben moaning about seeing the kids.
Kind of yes and no. If one parent has full custody/parental rights then they seem to often get away with whatever they want and only need to make some unprovable flimsy excuses if it ever goes to court.
But they could still be taken to court if in breach of an order or to get an order made. But I've never heard of consequences applied even for ignoring a court order... but I'm sure it must happen.

Every family solicitor I've come across seem to advise using the courts to resolve issues, despite it almost never being a particularly effective tool. My ex wife wasted close to £18k on solicitors and barristers based on the advice of a solicitor, they were always going to lose and they didn't even seem to try.

Do you really think 90% of men just bugger off and don't want to be involved?

Fab32

380 posts

132 months

Monday 18th July 2016
quotequote all
Assuming both parents have parental responsibility for the children then neither can unduly limit what the other does when the children are in their care.

By the sound of it both need to grow up and make decisions on what's in the best interests of the children rather than use them as weapons.

I've done enough Section 7 (of the Children Act 1989) reports to be able to tell you there are no never any winners and the biggest losers are always the children!

4x4Tyke

6,506 posts

131 months

Monday 18th July 2016
quotequote all
drivin_me_nuts said:
Thanks. Good to know. He's a piece of work and rather bullying and manipulative in his words and deeds. Seems like he gets his way - not because it's right that they all meet, but because he wants to exert his authority of 'I do what I want' over the mother.
It sounds to like the mother is the one being manipulative. It is completely reasonable to expect siblings to meet. If she wants to draw a line best do it against unreasonable behaviour not this.

drivin_me_nuts

Original Poster:

17,949 posts

210 months

Monday 18th July 2016
quotequote all
Fab32 said:
Assuming both parents have parental responsibility for the children then neither can unduly limit what the other does when the children are in their care.

By the sound of it both need to grow up and make decisions on what's in the best interests of the children rather than use them as weapons.

I've done enough Section 7 (of the Children Act 1989) reports to be able to tell you there are no never any winners and the biggest losers are always the children!
Thank you . I absolutely agree that both need to be adult. But sometimes, being adult seems to be so very hard.

Fab32

380 posts

132 months

Monday 18th July 2016
quotequote all
drivin_me_nuts said:
Fab32 said:
Assuming both parents have parental responsibility for the children then neither can unduly limit what the other does when the children are in their care.

By the sound of it both need to grow up and make decisions on what's in the best interests of the children rather than use them as weapons.

I've done enough Section 7 (of the Children Act 1989) reports to be able to tell you there are no never any winners and the biggest losers are always the children!
Thank you . I absolutely agree that both need to be adult. But sometimes, being adult seems to be so very hard.
It's always really easy from the outside looking in, much more difficult the other way round.

ruggedscotty

5,606 posts

208 months

Monday 18th July 2016
quotequote all
Its always the kids that get affected.

However the mother has no right to prevent or stall on this.