Falsely accused of adultery in divorce
Discussion
Vaud said:
daemon said:
Is adultery even a valid reason for divorce?
https://www.gov.uk/divorce/grounds-for-divorceYes, mostly...
Take it on the chin .
They can virtually say what they like ,if she wants a divorce she'll get a divorce.
If you contest it all you will do is contribute to a better lifestyle to a stranger .
Get the problems over your child referred to the family court .Get the access agreement sorted by the court .You are then protected by the court .
This can all be done without a solicitor.
They can virtually say what they like ,if she wants a divorce she'll get a divorce.
If you contest it all you will do is contribute to a better lifestyle to a stranger .
Get the problems over your child referred to the family court .Get the access agreement sorted by the court .You are then protected by the court .
This can all be done without a solicitor.
The only thing I was worried about was if agreeing would cause problems further down the line or cost me more. Numerous horror stories etc.
I just want to move on, get access to my daughter (who she's now stopped me from seeing and even talking to) and enjoy my life without her being a problem
I just want to move on, get access to my daughter (who she's now stopped me from seeing and even talking to) and enjoy my life without her being a problem
swerni said:
PurpleMoonlight said:
swerni said:
Lawyer up and leave it to the pros.
And waste thousands on the most expensive post box in the world.I spent a grand total of about £120 on solicitors, just to go through a few questions and get some financial estimates from them. Everything else I did myself. The ex spent a small fortune on solicitors/barristers and still came off worse due to my ridiculous good luck.
Good luck with it OP especially with the kids, it sucks but it'll get better.
ZombieT5 said:
The only thing I was worried about was if agreeing would cause problems further down the line or cost me more. Numerous horror stories etc.
I just want to move on, get access to my daughter (who she's now stopped me from seeing and even talking to) and enjoy my life without her being a problem
As a general rule the reason for divorce does not matter, and does not affect any financial judgement.I just want to move on, get access to my daughter (who she's now stopped me from seeing and even talking to) and enjoy my life without her being a problem
However, a crazy ex intent in denying you contact with your child will likely seek to use any justification they can be that reasonable or not, and she may therefore seek to use the claimed adultery in that.
I think you can write on the divorce response that you disagree with the reasons sited but you accept the marriage is over and do not object to the divorce.
PurpleMoonlight said:
As a general rule the reason for divorce does not matter, and does not affect any financial judgement.
However, a crazy ex intent in denying you contact with your child will likely seek to use any justification they can be that reasonable or not, and she may therefore seek to use the claimed adultery in that.
I think you can write on the divorce response that you disagree with the reasons sited but you accept the marriage is over and do not object to the divorce.
That's my plan. However, a crazy ex intent in denying you contact with your child will likely seek to use any justification they can be that reasonable or not, and she may therefore seek to use the claimed adultery in that.
I think you can write on the divorce response that you disagree with the reasons sited but you accept the marriage is over and do not object to the divorce.
You have my sympathies OP.
Not a nice situation to be in.
She obviously wants a divorce but why make it so bloody messy?
Doesn't sound like you were a horrible husband, beat her or messed around so why make it any drawn out, bitter and expensive than it needs to be?
Using your child is just nasty and vindictive.
Good luck
Not a nice situation to be in.
She obviously wants a divorce but why make it so bloody messy?
Doesn't sound like you were a horrible husband, beat her or messed around so why make it any drawn out, bitter and expensive than it needs to be?
Using your child is just nasty and vindictive.
Good luck
ZombieT5 said:
The only thing I was worried about was if agreeing would cause problems further down the line or cost me more. Numerous horror stories etc.
I just want to move on, get access to my daughter (who she's now stopped me from seeing and even talking to) and enjoy my life without her being a problem
You need to nip the daughter thing in the bud right now, make that your number 1 priority.I just want to move on, get access to my daughter (who she's now stopped me from seeing and even talking to) and enjoy my life without her being a problem
I'd even consider saying something along the lines of "if we sort the access situation out now as adults the divorce will pass smoothly". How would she feel if she was denied access to her father? (you're screwed if she was
)I have no advice. I just wanted to say what a joke and how out-dated divorce laws are and in need of reform.
Gov.uk said:
Adultery
Your husband or wife had sex with someone else of the opposite sex, and you can no longer bear to live with them.
It doesn’t count as adultery if they had sex with someone of the same sex. This includes if you’re in a same-sex marriage.
You can’t give adultery as a reason if you lived with your husband or wife for 6 months after you found out about it.
Your husband or wife had sex with someone else of the opposite sex, and you can no longer bear to live with them.
It doesn’t count as adultery if they had sex with someone of the same sex. This includes if you’re in a same-sex marriage.
You can’t give adultery as a reason if you lived with your husband or wife for 6 months after you found out about it.
It **may** have a future implication on your life if at a later stage you wished to remarry and to do so in church. The reason I stress the **may** is that it was what a solicitor told me over 10 years ago (and even the Church of England do seem to make some progress) and even then it was stressed as a may because it would very much depend on the individual parish vicar. At the time I dismissed the prospect of even thinking about getting married again and even more so the idea of doing it in one of those places but everyone is different and you never know the path your life will take, who you will meet, or what their wishes and dreams may be.
ZombieT5 said:
The only thing I was worried about was if agreeing would cause problems further down the line or cost me more. Numerous horror stories etc.
I just want to move on, get access to my daughter (who she's now stopped me from seeing and even talking to) and enjoy my life without her being a problem
Agree to it and say it was with another bloke. According to the Gov website. That is not adultery. (what a world we live in)I just want to move on, get access to my daughter (who she's now stopped me from seeing and even talking to) and enjoy my life without her being a problem
I'd be careful with this. In the months between my separation and her starting divorce proceedings I met someone else. Not someone I'd seen during the marriage or the cause of the separation.
So when she suggested unreasonable behaviour or adultery, take your pick, I chose the latter, thus avoiding the need to cite what we may or may not have down while married. Simpler, less unpleasant I thought, pragmatically.
What I'd failed to appreciate was how much more emotion women generally have and this move prompted the equivalent of a legal atomic bomb going off. I had given her an excuse to try anything in the proceedings however unpleasant and unreasonable. Hell hath no fury....
We had no children, but I can see that with one as an extra 'weapon' to use, the situation could become much worse than it was for me. The emotional pressure could become so unpleasant it could push you towards a settlement you might regret, to say nothing of the effect on you personally.
So, legally, not an important point, but with regard to how you handle relations with her and your daughter, now and in the future, I can quite see why you'd ask the question.
AFAIK the other option is 'unreasonable behaviour' so choose your poison.
So when she suggested unreasonable behaviour or adultery, take your pick, I chose the latter, thus avoiding the need to cite what we may or may not have down while married. Simpler, less unpleasant I thought, pragmatically.
What I'd failed to appreciate was how much more emotion women generally have and this move prompted the equivalent of a legal atomic bomb going off. I had given her an excuse to try anything in the proceedings however unpleasant and unreasonable. Hell hath no fury....
We had no children, but I can see that with one as an extra 'weapon' to use, the situation could become much worse than it was for me. The emotional pressure could become so unpleasant it could push you towards a settlement you might regret, to say nothing of the effect on you personally.
So, legally, not an important point, but with regard to how you handle relations with her and your daughter, now and in the future, I can quite see why you'd ask the question.
AFAIK the other option is 'unreasonable behaviour' so choose your poison.
Unreasonable behaviour has theoretically just as big a stigma attached to it. However, in reality neither matter much at all. This will now sound very insensitive, but I think the OP is falling into the age old trap of letting his emotions rule his head on this divorce, as if there is a victory to be won, when there isn't.
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