Absolutely seething - advice required
Discussion
Just had a phone call from my OH, she has gone into school to pull our 16yr old daughter out.
To cust a rather long story short, there is one vile creature in my Daughters circle of friends who scares most of the other girls & has cuased us amongst others no end of grief. We have had meetings with School in the past & counsellors etc have been involve along with PCSO's.
I thought we had left it all behind but no, today our daughter couldn't even face going into lessons. She cancelled her 16th birthday party plans this week, guess why.
My OH has suggested reporting this to the Police (online bullying, trolling etc), I believe it's the schools responsibility to deal with it.
There is a meeting scheduled with school on Monday morning, am I right in demanding that they escalate this? What is the chain of command in a school?
They have pre-lims coming up, this vile specimen will end up as a dead beat, our daughter is bright & intelligent & has prospects, not letting anybody ruin that.
To cust a rather long story short, there is one vile creature in my Daughters circle of friends who scares most of the other girls & has cuased us amongst others no end of grief. We have had meetings with School in the past & counsellors etc have been involve along with PCSO's.
I thought we had left it all behind but no, today our daughter couldn't even face going into lessons. She cancelled her 16th birthday party plans this week, guess why.
My OH has suggested reporting this to the Police (online bullying, trolling etc), I believe it's the schools responsibility to deal with it.
There is a meeting scheduled with school on Monday morning, am I right in demanding that they escalate this? What is the chain of command in a school?
They have pre-lims coming up, this vile specimen will end up as a dead beat, our daughter is bright & intelligent & has prospects, not letting anybody ruin that.
Is this happening in school or out of school?
Is it physical bullying or just online?
If its just online then I suggest going to the Police if its serious enough to have that kind of effect on your daughter.
If it is also happening at school then it is the schools responsibility.
Form Tutor, Head of Year, Deputy Head then Head is the normal chain of command in my experience.
Hopefully she reconsiders cancelling her party.
Is it physical bullying or just online?
If its just online then I suggest going to the Police if its serious enough to have that kind of effect on your daughter.
If it is also happening at school then it is the schools responsibility.
Form Tutor, Head of Year, Deputy Head then Head is the normal chain of command in my experience.
Hopefully she reconsiders cancelling her party.
State school, online abuse mainly. 15yr old girl dropping the C bomb just to set a level.
It's the fact that the school have been 'managing' this for the last couple of years that makes me so angry with them & makes me want them to sort it out once & for all.
She really is a truly vile specimen, the whole family is, part of me feels sorry for the girl but her family problems aren't going to ruin our daughters future.
Sod it, we'll contact the Police directly. Shall we do this before the school meeting on Monday?
Ironically, the local PCSO is a personal friend of my OH.
It's the fact that the school have been 'managing' this for the last couple of years that makes me so angry with them & makes me want them to sort it out once & for all.
She really is a truly vile specimen, the whole family is, part of me feels sorry for the girl but her family problems aren't going to ruin our daughters future.
Sod it, we'll contact the Police directly. Shall we do this before the school meeting on Monday?
Ironically, the local PCSO is a personal friend of my OH.
AndStilliRise said:
We had something similar although in junior school, endless meetings with the school, headmasters and teachers and nothing really got done. In the end we enrolled him into some martial arts and get no hassle now.
Hope this helps.
I used to teach karate, it wouldn't help in this instance. I wouldn't want it to either to be fair.Hope this helps.
LordHaveMurci said:
State school, online abuse mainly. 15yr old girl dropping the C bomb just to set a level.
It's the fact that the school have been 'managing' this for the last couple of years that makes me so angry with them & makes me want them to sort it out once & for all.
She really is a truly vile specimen, the whole family is, part of me feels sorry for the girl but her family problems aren't going to ruin our daughters future.
Sod it, we'll contact the Police directly. Shall we do this before the school meeting on Monday?
Ironically, the local PCSO is a personal friend of my OH.
Online, Block her simple. If then it moves into in person its a different ball gameIt's the fact that the school have been 'managing' this for the last couple of years that makes me so angry with them & makes me want them to sort it out once & for all.
She really is a truly vile specimen, the whole family is, part of me feels sorry for the girl but her family problems aren't going to ruin our daughters future.
Sod it, we'll contact the Police directly. Shall we do this before the school meeting on Monday?
Ironically, the local PCSO is a personal friend of my OH.
LordHaveMurci said:
State school, online abuse mainly. 15yr old girl dropping the C bomb just to set a level.
It's the fact that the school have been 'managing' this for the last couple of years that makes me so angry with them & makes me want them to sort it out once & for all.
She really is a truly vile specimen, the whole family is, part of me feels sorry for the girl but her family problems aren't going to ruin our daughters future.
Sod it, we'll contact the Police directly. Shall we do this before the school meeting on Monday?
Ironically, the local PCSO is a personal friend of my OH.
Argument between 16 year old girls? Good luck with that!It's the fact that the school have been 'managing' this for the last couple of years that makes me so angry with them & makes me want them to sort it out once & for all.
She really is a truly vile specimen, the whole family is, part of me feels sorry for the girl but her family problems aren't going to ruin our daughters future.
Sod it, we'll contact the Police directly. Shall we do this before the school meeting on Monday?
Ironically, the local PCSO is a personal friend of my OH.
Personally I'd let the school know if they don't deal with it you'll take it up a level but I wouldn't force their hand before the meeting.
Dan_M5 said:
Online, Block her simple. If then it moves into in person its a different ball game
Not that simple sadly, that would almost certainly make it worse.And because this vile creature scares & intimidates most of the other girls (she's a big unit as well as nasty), they are scared to stand with our daughter leaving her out on her own.
Maybe Hitler was on to something all along.
LordHaveMurci said:
Not that simple sadly, that would almost certainly make it worse.
And because this vile creature scares & intimidates most of the other girls (she's a big unit as well as nasty), they are scared to stand with our daughter leaving her out on her own.
Maybe Hitler was on to something all along.
It really is that simple. Unless you have tried to do it then how can you possibly say it will make it worse. And because this vile creature scares & intimidates most of the other girls (she's a big unit as well as nasty), they are scared to stand with our daughter leaving her out on her own.
Maybe Hitler was on to something all along.
LordHaveMurci said:
State school, online abuse mainly. 15yr old girl dropping the C bomb just to set a level.
It's the fact that the school have been 'managing' this for the last couple of years that makes me so angry with them & makes me want them to sort it out once & for all.
She really is a truly vile specimen, the whole family is, part of me feels sorry for the girl but her family problems aren't going to ruin our daughters future.
Sod it, we'll contact the Police directly. Shall we do this before the school meeting on Monday?
Ironically, the local PCSO is a personal friend of my OH.
I would also leave it until after the meeting on Monday.It's the fact that the school have been 'managing' this for the last couple of years that makes me so angry with them & makes me want them to sort it out once & for all.
She really is a truly vile specimen, the whole family is, part of me feels sorry for the girl but her family problems aren't going to ruin our daughters future.
Sod it, we'll contact the Police directly. Shall we do this before the school meeting on Monday?
Ironically, the local PCSO is a personal friend of my OH.
There is a danger that it will make things worse, vile girl will guess she's been grassed up and seek revenge.
If the family are as bad as you say the Police may not have the desired affect.
No easy solution I'm afraid unless vile girl gets thrown out.
We had a similar (but thankfully not as serious) thing with my eldest a few years ago.
Her so called friend started being a real nasty b
h towards her, all online but in the end the other friends basically black balled her and she was forced out of the friendship group.My daughter last saw her drunk in town mixing with some right scrumbags.
Transit van
Bag over the head
Cable Ties
The smell of petrol
And if that doesn't work........bang frozen sausages in her parents lawn.
All joking aside it sounds a mare - I wouldn't wait for the school as their hands are tied as much as yours. Schools just dont know what to do in this circumstance these days apart from pussy foot around the other girls family and social "needs".
Martial arts is definitely one route - both my boys do it for the very reason I want to know that in the future if they ever have a bully in front of them they are fully entitled to fight back and finish it. Already worked for my 8 year old once which involved a bloody nose and the bullying stopped instantly.
Good luck!!
Bag over the head
Cable Ties
The smell of petrol
And if that doesn't work........bang frozen sausages in her parents lawn.
All joking aside it sounds a mare - I wouldn't wait for the school as their hands are tied as much as yours. Schools just dont know what to do in this circumstance these days apart from pussy foot around the other girls family and social "needs".
Martial arts is definitely one route - both my boys do it for the very reason I want to know that in the future if they ever have a bully in front of them they are fully entitled to fight back and finish it. Already worked for my 8 year old once which involved a bloody nose and the bullying stopped instantly.
Good luck!!
C bomb? See you next Tuesday, grandpa 
I had some issues with a little scrote bullying one of my boys. School didn't sort it and just said 'he comes from one of "those" families'.... as if that is a good enough reason not to deal with the problem.
I happened to see said scrote out with his family one day, and I offered him and his father some friendly advice and explained a few good reasons to make sure that behaviour stopped. Probably shouldn't have done that, but never had a problem with the kid again.
Ultimately the school needs to deal with it if it is affecting her time in school, but schools seem to be very reluctant to take action, as I suspect suspensions and expulsions will be shown in their school stats... which is the last thing they want.
I had some issues with a little scrote bullying one of my boys. School didn't sort it and just said 'he comes from one of "those" families'.... as if that is a good enough reason not to deal with the problem.
I happened to see said scrote out with his family one day, and I offered him and his father some friendly advice and explained a few good reasons to make sure that behaviour stopped. Probably shouldn't have done that, but never had a problem with the kid again.
Ultimately the school needs to deal with it if it is affecting her time in school, but schools seem to be very reluctant to take action, as I suspect suspensions and expulsions will be shown in their school stats... which is the last thing they want.
Did you not pass on your skills to your daughter? A quick roundhouse to the head when there are no witnesses would sort it.
People like this only understand one thing unfortunately she needs to be physically dominated and made to realise that she might be the big unit in her little group but there are people about who are capable of being harder and nastier than she is. Maybe one of your former pupils. I feckin hate bullies!
People like this only understand one thing unfortunately she needs to be physically dominated and made to realise that she might be the big unit in her little group but there are people about who are capable of being harder and nastier than she is. Maybe one of your former pupils. I feckin hate bullies!
This happened to my daughter when she moved to secondary school, despite alerting the school and not letting the matter drop they stubbornly failed to resolve the situation.
In desperation we contacted the Local Education Authority, even then the school dragged its feet, being a grammar school they were too proud to admit there was a bullying problem. This caused an atmoshphere as we were seen as whistle blowers who had damaged the reputation of the school.
We encouraged our daughter to toughen up a little and instructed her to give her tormentor a firm push to the upper body with both hands next time she was threatened. The School was informed of this and said we would not allow any punishment when/if it ocurred and that daughter would not be held responsible should the bully be injured.
Being stood up to will stop most bullies in their tracks IME.
Back when I was at the same school (in the days of black and white tv) an older pupil was a scourge on the bus journey home, choking with scarves, emptying satchels out, holding boys on until miles after their stop, chinese burns, dead legs etc
After a year or two of this I became annoyed when my turn to be the victim came around and gave him a good thumping, helped by the fact that in the mean time I had grown bigger than him without realising. You guessed it, he never bothered me or my mates again.
Moral of the story - stand up to bullies.
In desperation we contacted the Local Education Authority, even then the school dragged its feet, being a grammar school they were too proud to admit there was a bullying problem. This caused an atmoshphere as we were seen as whistle blowers who had damaged the reputation of the school.
We encouraged our daughter to toughen up a little and instructed her to give her tormentor a firm push to the upper body with both hands next time she was threatened. The School was informed of this and said we would not allow any punishment when/if it ocurred and that daughter would not be held responsible should the bully be injured.
Being stood up to will stop most bullies in their tracks IME.
Back when I was at the same school (in the days of black and white tv) an older pupil was a scourge on the bus journey home, choking with scarves, emptying satchels out, holding boys on until miles after their stop, chinese burns, dead legs etc
After a year or two of this I became annoyed when my turn to be the victim came around and gave him a good thumping, helped by the fact that in the mean time I had grown bigger than him without realising. You guessed it, he never bothered me or my mates again.
Moral of the story - stand up to bullies.
Short of physical action, all you can do is follow the processes.
Things I suggest doing in the mean time:
Look at enrolling your daughter in some kind of class or group well outside of school. Maybe in a different town/area. Amateur Drama, dance troupe, whatever her interests dictate. Something that introduces her to new and real friends.
Bullying is mentally tough to endure for teenagers because their world is usually so small and insular. Everyone she meets more or less knows each other. Whatsapp, snapchat and facebook mean that everyone she knows has been updated with the latest humiliation your daughter has endured.
Expand her horizons, have her meet new friends outside of her world; and she'll not feel so much like everyone outside her family is against her.
Things I suggest doing in the mean time:
Look at enrolling your daughter in some kind of class or group well outside of school. Maybe in a different town/area. Amateur Drama, dance troupe, whatever her interests dictate. Something that introduces her to new and real friends.
Bullying is mentally tough to endure for teenagers because their world is usually so small and insular. Everyone she meets more or less knows each other. Whatsapp, snapchat and facebook mean that everyone she knows has been updated with the latest humiliation your daughter has endured.
Expand her horizons, have her meet new friends outside of her world; and she'll not feel so much like everyone outside her family is against her.
Edited by esxste on Friday 18th November 17:17
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