Absolutely seething - advice required
Discussion
Rather than blocking, contact the admin teams of the social media platforms - all of them from Facebook to Snapchat are aware of bullying and will take steps to assist.
As has been pointed out, 'blocking' is a tepid solution and short term at best. By reporting to the sites/services directly (with evidence that includes times, dates and screen shots) they can take direct action by blocking the user at source. (Essentially black listing the devices and IP addresses)
Its hard for a 15 year old of this ones apparent calibre to start dynamically changing their home IP, connect via proxy or obtain endless new devices with which to try and circumvent the controls.
The added bonus here is that any teenager who finds themselves blocked from the popular social media channels is quickly going to become a pariah!
Keep school/police informed every step of the way and ensure you and your daughter keep a diary of events.
Be aware any positive results will require some time to become effective - it won't instantly happen.
Good luck!
As has been pointed out, 'blocking' is a tepid solution and short term at best. By reporting to the sites/services directly (with evidence that includes times, dates and screen shots) they can take direct action by blocking the user at source. (Essentially black listing the devices and IP addresses)
Its hard for a 15 year old of this ones apparent calibre to start dynamically changing their home IP, connect via proxy or obtain endless new devices with which to try and circumvent the controls.
The added bonus here is that any teenager who finds themselves blocked from the popular social media channels is quickly going to become a pariah!
Keep school/police informed every step of the way and ensure you and your daughter keep a diary of events.
Be aware any positive results will require some time to become effective - it won't instantly happen.
Good luck!
Personally this is why social media should be banned for under 16s. Im glad all the Internet was for was looking up fake nude photos of buffy the vampire slayer when I was a teen. The amount of ink I used printing them...
Its a horrible situation to be in as a parent. Apart from hoping the school does something you feel trapped like gou cant help. Good luck.
Its a horrible situation to be in as a parent. Apart from hoping the school does something you feel trapped like gou cant help. Good luck.
LordHaveMurci said:
State school, online abuse mainly. 15yr old girl dropping the C bomb just to set a level.
It's the fact that the school have been 'managing' this for the last couple of years that makes me so angry with them & makes me want them to sort it out once & for all.
She really is a truly vile specimen, the whole family is, part of me feels sorry for the girl but her family problems aren't going to ruin our daughters future.
Sod it, we'll contact the Police directly. Shall we do this before the school meeting on Monday?
Ironically, the local PCSO is a personal friend of my OH.
Academy or non Academy. Reason I ask is that several years ago , grand daughter was set on by a bunch of bullies (non Academy) and county councillor got on the case. She was suspended for standing up for herself. FFS- what is she supposed to do - lye down and get kicked? After County councillor got involved, the assailants were hit with more suspensions and GD was reinstated. Few years later, she moved to local Academy, and same lot attacked her. She stood up for herself, but County Councillor was banned from involvement as county had no involvement in Academy, so she, along with those seeking to harm her got suspensions. In the first case, PCSO was involved, and thanks to County Councillor, the gang of thugs was dealt with. Second case- County Councillor tried, but he was kept out. It's the fact that the school have been 'managing' this for the last couple of years that makes me so angry with them & makes me want them to sort it out once & for all.
She really is a truly vile specimen, the whole family is, part of me feels sorry for the girl but her family problems aren't going to ruin our daughters future.
Sod it, we'll contact the Police directly. Shall we do this before the school meeting on Monday?
Ironically, the local PCSO is a personal friend of my OH.
Skyrat said:
This.
Some gump, you don't seem to realise how it is for kids these days. Bullying doesn't stop when they come home from school like it did when we were at school. It can be 24hr online.
My girl is 4yo and I'm bricking it about when she gets older. If any of this s
t starts with her I'm going to want to rip the little fker's arms off
Just play them at their own game, start a counter attack using all the social media platforms available. After a few counter atracks relating to her parents, grandparents, sexual activity it'll stopSome gump, you don't seem to realise how it is for kids these days. Bullying doesn't stop when they come home from school like it did when we were at school. It can be 24hr online.
My girl is 4yo and I'm bricking it about when she gets older. If any of this s
t starts with her I'm going to want to rip the little fker's arms offBrettMRC said:
Rather than blocking, contact the admin teams of the social media platforms - all of them from Facebook to Snapchat are aware of bullying and will take steps to assist.
As has been pointed out, 'blocking' is a tepid solution and short term at best. By reporting to the sites/services directly (with evidence that includes times, dates and screen shots) they can take direct action by blocking the user at source. (Essentially black listing the devices and IP addresses)
^^This^^As has been pointed out, 'blocking' is a tepid solution and short term at best. By reporting to the sites/services directly (with evidence that includes times, dates and screen shots) they can take direct action by blocking the user at source. (Essentially black listing the devices and IP addresses)
Make sure the admin teams are aware of police involvement.
BrettMRC said:
Keep school/police informed every step of the way and ensure you and your daughter keep a diary of events.
A diary is essential for evidential purposes.desolate said:
Fozziebear said:
Just play them at their own game, start a counter attack using all the social media platforms available. After a few counter atracks relating to her parents, grandparents, sexual activity it'll stop
Worst advice ever.This has come up before on here. In a previous thread the solution (IIRC) was to:
Record some examples of assault
Tell the school that you will be taking the issue further. Put this in a recorded letter.
Get a solicitor to send them a letter pointing out they are failing in their duty of being "in loco parentis".
At this point the school has no way out, the events are recorded, the letters requesting action are recorded, the legal implications of their failure have been pointed out.
Result - expulsion.
It was a while ago now but you may be able to find the thread with a search.
Record some examples of assault
Tell the school that you will be taking the issue further. Put this in a recorded letter.
Get a solicitor to send them a letter pointing out they are failing in their duty of being "in loco parentis".
At this point the school has no way out, the events are recorded, the letters requesting action are recorded, the legal implications of their failure have been pointed out.
Result - expulsion.
It was a while ago now but you may be able to find the thread with a search.
cymtriks said:
This has come up before on here. In a previous thread the solution (IIRC) was to:
Record some examples of assault
Tell the school that you will be taking the issue further. Put this in a recorded letter.
Get a solicitor to send them a letter pointing out they are failing in their duty of being "in loco parentis".
At this point the school has no way out, the events are recorded, the letters requesting action are recorded, the legal implications of their failure have been pointed out.
Result - expulsion.
It was a while ago now but you may be able to find the thread with a search.
If the bullying is mostly occurring online your first stop should be the police, not the school. Obviously let the school know you are doing this, though. The Malicious Communications Act is pretty clear - if the online communications fall into the relevant categories an offence has been committed. Record some examples of assault
Tell the school that you will be taking the issue further. Put this in a recorded letter.
Get a solicitor to send them a letter pointing out they are failing in their duty of being "in loco parentis".
At this point the school has no way out, the events are recorded, the letters requesting action are recorded, the legal implications of their failure have been pointed out.
Result - expulsion.
It was a while ago now but you may be able to find the thread with a search.
Category 1:Communications which may constitute threats of violence to the person or damage to property.
Category 2:Communications which specifically target an individual or individuals and which may constitute harassment or stalking, controlling or coercive behaviour, disclosing private sexual images without consent, an offence under the Sexual Offences Act 2003, blackmail or another offence.
When this type of thing arises at our school our first port of call is to escalate it to the police (we have a PCSO that liaises with us). However, you will need good evidence via screenshots - make sure you get these before you approach the police as if the bully gets wind of it they may be able to delete much of the evidence that they've posted.
In my experience the police are very good at dealing with this sort of thing. Obviously if the behaviour has spread into school we can deal with it as well, but our hands are somewhat tied if it is purely online harassment.
sim72 said:
cymtriks said:
This has come up before on here. In a previous thread the solution (IIRC) was to:
Record some examples of assault
Tell the school that you will be taking the issue further. Put this in a recorded letter.
Get a solicitor to send them a letter pointing out they are failing in their duty of being "in loco parentis".
At this point the school has no way out, the events are recorded, the letters requesting action are recorded, the legal implications of their failure have been pointed out.
Result - expulsion.
It was a while ago now but you may be able to find the thread with a search.
If the bullying is mostly occurring online your first stop should be the police, not the school. Obviously let the school know you are doing this, though. The Malicious Communications Act is pretty clear - if the online communications fall into the relevant categories an offence has been committed. Record some examples of assault
Tell the school that you will be taking the issue further. Put this in a recorded letter.
Get a solicitor to send them a letter pointing out they are failing in their duty of being "in loco parentis".
At this point the school has no way out, the events are recorded, the letters requesting action are recorded, the legal implications of their failure have been pointed out.
Result - expulsion.
It was a while ago now but you may be able to find the thread with a search.
Category 1:Communications which may constitute threats of violence to the person or damage to property.
Category 2:Communications which specifically target an individual or individuals and which may constitute harassment or stalking, controlling or coercive behaviour, disclosing private sexual images without consent, an offence under the Sexual Offences Act 2003, blackmail or another offence.
When this type of thing arises at our school our first port of call is to escalate it to the police (we have a PCSO that liaises with us). However, you will need good evidence via screenshots - make sure you get these before you approach the police as if the bully gets wind of it they may be able to delete much of the evidence that they've posted.
In my experience the police are very good at dealing with this sort of thing. Obviously if the behaviour has spread into school we can deal with it as well, but our hands are somewhat tied if it is purely online harassment.
Fozziebear said:
Skyrat said:
This.
Some gump, you don't seem to realise how it is for kids these days. Bullying doesn't stop when they come home from school like it did when we were at school. It can be 24hr online.
My girl is 4yo and I'm bricking it about when she gets older. If any of this st starts with her I'm going to want to rip the little fker's arms off
Just play them at their own game, start a counter attack using all the social media platforms available. After a few counter atracks relating to her parents, grandparents, sexual activity it'll stopSome gump, you don't seem to realise how it is for kids these days. Bullying doesn't stop when they come home from school like it did when we were at school. It can be 24hr online.
My girl is 4yo and I'm bricking it about when she gets older. If any of this s
t starts with her I'm going to want to rip the little fker's arms offt advice or double posted by accident?
elanfan said:
I wonder if there might be something in what roofer I think it was said above. Take it to the parents particularly the dad and explain your background and state that if it doesn't cease you'll be the one doing the bullying - of him.
On another front the Governors details should be on the school website.
If you think I'm dragging myself into their gutter then you are very much mistaken. On another front the Governors details should be on the school website.
Edited by elanfan on Saturday 19th November 00:08
They are proving that violence & intimidation are NOT the way forward.
Thanks for the tips on Governors etc, this will not be left to lie now, it needs to be dealt with once & for all.
Jasandjules said:
I am new to this but can you not seek an injunction? Then if breached scrote will have serious police involvement..... I'd write to her parents and give them seven days after which you would seek an injunction against them and the brat and seek your costs as well......
Along legal lines, it sounds pretty certain that the bully is criminally responsible - so would a solicitors letter directly to her be a good start? ie, one which spells out the various crimes she's committed, the evidence gathered and the possible prison sentence?I think if I got a letter like that at that age it would be worrying.
sim72 said:
If the bullying is mostly occurring online your first stop should be the police, not the school. Obviously let the school know you are doing this, though. The Malicious Communications Act is pretty clear - if the online communications fall into the relevant categories an offence has been committed.
Category 1:Communications which may constitute threats of violence to the person or damage to property.
Category 2:Communications which specifically target an individual or individuals and which may constitute harassment or stalking, controlling or coercive behaviour, disclosing private sexual images without consent, an offence under the Sexual Offences Act 2003, blackmail or another offence.
When this type of thing arises at our school our first port of call is to escalate it to the police (we have a PCSO that liaises with us). However, you will need good evidence via screenshots - make sure you get these before you approach the police as if the bully gets wind of it they may be able to delete much of the evidence that they've posted.
In my experience the police are very good at dealing with this sort of thing. Obviously if the behaviour has spread into school we can deal with it as well, but our hands are somewhat tied if it is purely online harassment.
It has been reported to the Police, if the school don't escalate with them after tomoorows meeting they will escalate it regardless as we have complained to them, we will be informing the school of this at the meeting in the morning. Category 1:Communications which may constitute threats of violence to the person or damage to property.
Category 2:Communications which specifically target an individual or individuals and which may constitute harassment or stalking, controlling or coercive behaviour, disclosing private sexual images without consent, an offence under the Sexual Offences Act 2003, blackmail or another offence.
When this type of thing arises at our school our first port of call is to escalate it to the police (we have a PCSO that liaises with us). However, you will need good evidence via screenshots - make sure you get these before you approach the police as if the bully gets wind of it they may be able to delete much of the evidence that they've posted.
In my experience the police are very good at dealing with this sort of thing. Obviously if the behaviour has spread into school we can deal with it as well, but our hands are somewhat tied if it is purely online harassment.
This family are scum, legal letters & Police knocking on the door won't bother them, business as usual really. They let their not quite 16yr old daughters older b/f sleep with her in their house FFS.
LordHaveMurci said:
It has been reported to the Police, if the school don't escalate with them after tomoorows meeting they will escalate it regardless as we have complained to them, we will be informing the school of this at the meeting in the morning.
This family are scum, legal letters & Police knocking on the door won't bother them, business as usual really. They let their not quite 16yr old daughters older b/f sleep with her in their house FFS.
With people like that, retaliation is the best way forward imo. I left school 6yrs ago, and i did get bullied a bit, especially in the earlier years (7 and 8). It took me lashing out at him to get it sorted. I got into loads of trouble for it, excluded for a day or 2, but it was worth it as when I came back everybody was chatting about it, and the bullying stopped. This family are scum, legal letters & Police knocking on the door won't bother them, business as usual really. They let their not quite 16yr old daughters older b/f sleep with her in their house FFS.
LordHaveMurci said:
This family are scum, legal letters & Police knocking on the door won't bother them, business as usual really. They let their not quite 16yr old daughters older b/f sleep with her in their house FFS.
I appreciate your point however if you got an injunction and it was breached they could be jailed for contempt. Christ times have changed...biggest issue now is the amount of platforms available for 24 hours bullying.
I agree with most of what has been said about going via the school process after reviewing it on their website if available, and as necessary outside the school including the LEA.
Flipside I have to agree about standing up for yourself (as "wrong" as that might be), having being bullied by one particular person in school and eventually just snapping mentally I turned around and hit him. Shock set in and quite a lot of my friends at the time virtually fell silent in stunned silence. Never got bullied again by that person nor did I get in any form of trouble (probably because it was never reported).
I agree with most of what has been said about going via the school process after reviewing it on their website if available, and as necessary outside the school including the LEA.
Flipside I have to agree about standing up for yourself (as "wrong" as that might be), having being bullied by one particular person in school and eventually just snapping mentally I turned around and hit him. Shock set in and quite a lot of my friends at the time virtually fell silent in stunned silence. Never got bullied again by that person nor did I get in any form of trouble (probably because it was never reported).
Ok, the meeting was with the Deputy Head responsible for safeguarding & another member of teaching staff who personally knows our daughter.
The usual routine really, we underestand blah blah blah - no, you really don't! Neither had read back through previous notes so were unaware of the full back story
We were aware of one other girl being targeted, they told us there was at least one other so at least three in total. They will get them all in to interview them, review any evidence (screenshots mainly), & take statements.
They will do their best to remove the offender from the four clasees she shares with our Daughter, no guaranttes given due to timetables etc.
We informed them we have reported to Police, they took log No. & seemed happy we'd done that, they are happy to work with the Police.
I said that if no satisfactory conclusion comes from this we will seek private legal advice & pursue it, that will be a last resort & was not a threat.
They asked what we would ideally like, I said we'd obviously like the offender removed but as they said, that is pretty much unheard of. They ran through their options - detention, exclusion for 2-3 days, swap to a different school for a few days, restorative justice work with the Police. The offender would also have to sign a (behavioural?)contract when she returns to school.
Not convinced any of this will work to be honest, they have tried & the offender has had counselling & even been made a prefect to try & change her behaviour!
After my OH told them what she had shown other pupils on her phone they will seize it & go through it, if nothing else that should pee her off & I bet they find plenty on there.
She is a very intimidating girl & most other pupils are scared of her so won't stand by the ones she's picking on, making it even worse for them.
We have made it very clear that this has been ongoing for 2-3 years and stops NOW, their prelims start this week & this is one of the most important years of their lives. They said they will make the teachers aware of the situation so they can keep a close eye out & make any allowances. We have pointed out that we will hold the school responsible if our daughters results are poorer than predicted as a result.
They will call us later this afternoon with an update, the Police will be in touch soon too I guess.
The usual routine really, we underestand blah blah blah - no, you really don't! Neither had read back through previous notes so were unaware of the full back story
We were aware of one other girl being targeted, they told us there was at least one other so at least three in total. They will get them all in to interview them, review any evidence (screenshots mainly), & take statements.
They will do their best to remove the offender from the four clasees she shares with our Daughter, no guaranttes given due to timetables etc.
We informed them we have reported to Police, they took log No. & seemed happy we'd done that, they are happy to work with the Police.
I said that if no satisfactory conclusion comes from this we will seek private legal advice & pursue it, that will be a last resort & was not a threat.
They asked what we would ideally like, I said we'd obviously like the offender removed but as they said, that is pretty much unheard of. They ran through their options - detention, exclusion for 2-3 days, swap to a different school for a few days, restorative justice work with the Police. The offender would also have to sign a (behavioural?)contract when she returns to school.
Not convinced any of this will work to be honest, they have tried & the offender has had counselling & even been made a prefect to try & change her behaviour!
After my OH told them what she had shown other pupils on her phone they will seize it & go through it, if nothing else that should pee her off & I bet they find plenty on there.
She is a very intimidating girl & most other pupils are scared of her so won't stand by the ones she's picking on, making it even worse for them.
We have made it very clear that this has been ongoing for 2-3 years and stops NOW, their prelims start this week & this is one of the most important years of their lives. They said they will make the teachers aware of the situation so they can keep a close eye out & make any allowances. We have pointed out that we will hold the school responsible if our daughters results are poorer than predicted as a result.
They will call us later this afternoon with an update, the Police will be in touch soon too I guess.
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