Adult threatening a child with violence

[TerryThomas]

Skyrat said:

I'm curious, if all those people advocating the assault of children for minor infractions, go around punching other adults because they do something that displeases them? Or would that be unacceptable? Hmmm. Why then is it ok to hit your child?

I've (lightly) smacked my wee girl's bum only a few times, and I've never felt like less of a man in my life afterwards. Seeing my child cry and knowing it's because I've hit her is just horrible. I'll never do it again.

So you feel more in the wrong than her.

How can that be right?

[Dangerous Dan]

solo2 said:

To follow-up this thread, child in question received a text message apology from the adult admitting his mistake.

... this adult has the child's mobile number?

[98elise]

Skyrat said:

I'm curious, if all those people advocating the assault of children for minor infractions, go around punching other adults because they do something that displeases them? Or would that be unacceptable? Hmmm. Why then is it ok to hit your child?

I've (lightly) smacked my wee girl's bum only a few times, and I've never felt like less of a man in my life afterwards. Seeing my child cry and knowing it's because I've hit her is just horrible. I'll never do it again.

I always thought smaking a child was ok, up until I had kids. We found that it didn't work on my son (first born) so our only option would be to hit harder, ie we had nowhere else to go other than more violence. We changed to naughtly step, or temporary removal of toys etc. Thats easy to administer and escalate, and more importantly you can explain to the child what they have done wrong while they are still subject to the punishment. Try reasoning with a child who's just been hit.

I also agree that you wouldn't hit an adult as a punishment, so why a child (even if it works). Al it does is teach kids that hitting is how you express your displeasure.

[tuffer]

I was walking through a town on Friday evening at 7pm and two kids about 14 were fighting. Kid one looked me square in the eye and then purposely pushed kid 2 into my wife nearly knocking her over. I lost my temper but did not touch either of them. Spotted a couple of PCSO's up the road and took them back and pointed out kid 1, at this point all his mates chime in and say that I grabbed him by the throat, this did not happen. PCSO have my details so I am expecting a knock on the door in the coming weeks.

[solo2]

Dangerous Dan said:

solo2 said:

To follow-up this thread, child in question received a text message apology from the adult admitting his mistake.

... this adult has the child's mobile number?

No his step daughter had my son's number, as do a lot of other kids have the class mates phone numbers these days. So step Dad simply got the number that way.

[Oakey]

Just a question regards taking a child's toy from them as punishment, do your kids only have the one toy or something? So you take a toy off them as punishment, what stops them going to play with another one? Do you remove all their toys?

[_dobbo_]

Oakey said:

Just a question regards taking a child's toy from them as punishment, do your kids only have the one toy or something? So you take a toy off them as punishment, what stops them going to play with another one? Do you remove all their toys?

I can't speak for others but we take away a favourite toy, explain why it's happening, and explain when they will get it back.

Question regarding smacking or hitting as punishment. At what age do you stop?

So aged 14 they're mouthing off and giving you grief. You can take away their phone or xbox for a week or you can give them a whack. Which do you do?

[singlecoil]

_dobbo_ said:

I can't speak for others but we take away a favourite toy, explain why it's happening, and explain when they will get it back.

Question regarding smacking or hitting as punishment. At what age do you stop?

So aged 14 they're mouthing off and giving you grief. You can take away their phone or xbox for a week or you can give them a whack. Which do you do?

At that age, it's too late. Good behaviour is something that has to be taught, and it needs to start a lot earlier.

[Oakey]

I think you're assuming that most of these kids that are being smacked by their parents are continuing to misbehave throughout their childhood whilst I think the advocates for smacking here are trying to imply that once they'd got a belting they knew not to step out of line again.

I was fortunate enough with my eldest that I only had to raise my voice to him and it did the job, my youngest toddler doesn't really misbehave, yet!

[_dobbo_]

singlecoil said:

At that age, it's too late. Good behaviour is something that has to be taught, and it needs to start a lot earlier.

So once you've "taught" them how to behave by smacking them a few times, they will then never misbehave again, is that right?

You could make millions selling a parenting guide if it is that effective.

[singlecoil]

_dobbo_ said:

singlecoil said:

At that age, it's too late. Good behaviour is something that has to be taught, and it needs to start a lot earlier.

So once you've "taught" them how to behave by smacking them a few times, they will then never misbehave again, is that right?

You could make millions selling a parenting guide if it is that effective.

I didn't say to teach them by smacking them. If you want to know what I actually said, you can read it, it's just a few lines above.

[_dobbo_]

singlecoil said:

I didn't say to teach them by smacking them. If you want to know what I actually said, you can read it, it's just a few lines above.

If you're going to dish out patronising comments about reading what you wrote, maybe read the post you quoted, and replied to.

I asked at what age do you stop smacking, you quoted me and replied. So I think I can be forgiven for assuming you were answering my specific question about smacking.

[singlecoil]

_dobbo_ said:

singlecoil said:

I didn't say to teach them by smacking them. If you want to know what I actually said, you can read it, it's just a few lines above.

If you're going to dish out patronising comments about reading what you wrote, maybe read the post you quoted, and replied to.

I asked at what age do you stop smacking, you quoted me and replied. So I think I can be forgiven for assuming you were answering my specific question about smacking.

As I didn't say about starting smacking, I can hardly be expected to say about stopping.

[_dobbo_]

singlecoil said:

As I didn't say about starting smacking, I can hardly be expected to say about stopping.

No, I said about starting smacking, and you replied. So the implication is that is what you were talking about. If you don't see that, and believe I'm somehow wrong for interpreting your answer that way, then fair enough. I'd wager others would make the same mistake as me though, given the context.

[singlecoil]

_dobbo_ said:

singlecoil said:

As I didn't say about starting smacking, I can hardly be expected to say about stopping.

No, I said about starting smacking, and you replied. So the implication is that is what you were talking about. If you don't see that, and believe I'm somehow wrong for interpreting your answer that way, then fair enough. I'd wager others would make the same mistake as me though, given the context.

I made no such implication. You simply made an incorrect inference. Please continue on your own...

[Riley Blue]

If offered the choice:

(1) Being grounded for a week.
(2) Weekend removal of a privilege e.g. computer use (in my day it was no TV).
(3) A smack on the hand.

I wonder which would be chosen. When I was offered a similar choice by my dad back when corporal punishment was commonplace, I always chose (3) to get it over and done with - and I'd figured (correctly) that he wouldn't use much force.

[_dobbo_]

singlecoil said:

I made no such implication. You simply made an incorrect inference. Please continue on your own...

You can't post ambiguous statements in response to questions then get annoyed about people interpreting those answers. You many not have intended to make any such implication but you arguably did. Which is really the only point I'm trying to make.

You seem hell bent on being combative though and unwilling to concede in even a small way so as you request, I'll continue on my own.

[singlecoil]

_dobbo_ said:

singlecoil said:

I made no such implication. You simply made an incorrect inference. Please continue on your own...

You can't post ambiguous statements in response to questions then get annoyed about people interpreting those answers. You many not have intended to make any such implication but you arguably did. Which is really the only point I'm trying to make.

You seem hell bent on being combative though and unwilling to concede in even a small way so as you request, I'll continue on my own.

It was your mistake and you want me to concede? Grow up ffs.

[_dobbo_]

You won't accept that you played any part in this and you want me to grow up?

[singlecoil]

I think you need to go and sit on the naughty step until you've calmed down.