Adult threatening a child with violence

[Devil2575]

Riley Blue said:

Indeed it is. If the facts we know now had been available from the start, I doubt the thread would have developed as it did.

Why? To avoid people jumping to conclusions based on their prejudices?

The principle is the same regardless of the extra information, it is not OK for an adult to threaten an 11 year old child.

[Jasandjules]

Devil2575 said:

The principle is the same regardless of the extra information, it is not OK for an adult to threaten an 11 year old child.

However, if an 11 year old boy had hit a girl or even groped a girl THEN people would consider it more acceptable IMHO. The facts go to the question of reasonableness of behavior in all parties.

[InitialDave]

Devil2575 said:

The principle is the same regardless of the extra information, it is not OK for an adult to threaten an 11 year old child.

Depends what they're doing and how immediately you need them to stop it.

[solo2]

Spanglepants said:

Just re read this thread and only just realised that the Uncle is not related to the girl in the OP, I haven't read that wrong have I ?
If so, what has caused him to get involved if the girls mother is ok with what actually happened?

No idea but you are correct the Uncle is not related to the tag girl. I can only assume the story he has got is blown all out of proportion due to his reaction but is why I said he was incorrect in my first post.

[Devil2575]

Jasandjules said:

Devil2575 said:

The principle is the same regardless of the extra information, it is not OK for an adult to threaten an 11 year old child.

However, if an 11 year old boy had hit a girl or even groped a girl THEN people would consider it more acceptable IMHO. The facts go to the question of reasonableness of behavior in all parties.

People may but they would be wrong. You don't teach a child that violence is wrong by being violent to them. Besides, if there had been either of those things happen the School would have been very involved and would be taking action. The fact that they were not was clear from the OP.

[Devil2575]

InitialDave said:

Devil2575 said:

The principle is the same regardless of the extra information, it is not OK for an adult to threaten an 11 year old child.

Depends what they're doing and how immediately you need them to stop it.

No it doesn't. You can physically restrain an 11 year old without recourse to violence.

[Rovinghawk]

Devil2575 said:

No it doesn't. You can physically restrain an 11 year old without recourse to violence.

It's one of those irregular verbs:
I physically restrain, you use violence, he has been charged with assault & battery...

[Devil2575]

Rovinghawk said:

Devil2575 said:

No it doesn't. You can physically restrain an 11 year old without recourse to violence.

It's one of those irregular verbs:
I physically restrain, you use violence, he has been charged with assault & battery...

Don't be silly.

No one would be charged with anything if you had to restrain a child from doing something where they needed to be stopped. Also restraining someone is not the same as violence. I am able to restrain my children without them being bruised and hurt.

Where people get into trouble is when they use force or restraint as a punishment.

Edited by Devil2575 on Saturday 26th November 17:23

[Rovinghawk]

Devil2575 said:

Also restraining someone is not the same as violence.

If you found someone 'physically restraining' your child it might alter your opinion.

[Devil2575]

Rovinghawk said:

If you found someone 'physically restraining' your child it might alter your opinion.

I don't think it would, but then I can tell the difference between dishing out a beating and restraining a child.

[Rovinghawk]

So physical restraint is acceptable but threatening words aren't? Interesting POV.

[Boosted LS1]

Rovinghawk said:

So physical restraint is acceptable but threatening words aren't? Interesting POV.

Surely it's an assault?

[Devil2575]

Rovinghawk said:

So physical restraint is acceptable but threatening words aren't? Interesting POV.

Yes. You might think it interesting, I'd say it's a sensible POV.

If a child is attacking another child or trying to hurt themselves or attacking you then I think that ot is appropriate to restrain them. Don't you? How else should a teacher break up a fight in the school yard if words alone do not work?

Tell me a situation where threats of physical violence would ne appropriate? Also unless you are willing to carry it out it's an empty threat. Tell me a situation where you think physical violence to children is acceptable?

[Jasandjules]

Devil2575 said:

Tell me a situation where threats of physical violence would ne appropriate? Also unless you are willing to carry it out it's an empty threat. Tell me a situation where you think physical violence to children is acceptable?

Where a child has a knife or other weapon.

[Devil2575]

Jasandjules said:

Devil2575 said:

Tell me a situation where threats of physical violence would ne appropriate? Also unless you are willing to carry it out it's an empty threat. Tell me a situation where you think physical violence to children is acceptable?

Where a child has a knife or other weapon.

Ok. An extreme example but yes, that is pretty much the only time.

[Riley Blue]

Devil2575 said:

Jasandjules said:

Devil2575 said:

Tell me a situation where threats of physical violence would ne appropriate? Also unless you are willing to carry it out it's an empty threat. Tell me a situation where you think physical violence to children is acceptable?

Where a child has a knife or other weapon.

Ok. An extreme example but yes, that is pretty much the only time.

How about "If you don't stop hitting your sister I'll smack your bottom!" It always stopped me when I was a nipper.

[Devil2575]

Riley Blue said:

Devil2575 said:

Jasandjules said:

Devil2575 said:

Tell me a situation where threats of physical violence would ne appropriate? Also unless you are willing to carry it out it's an empty threat. Tell me a situation where you think physical violence to children is acceptable?

Where a child has a knife or other weapon.

Ok. An extreme example but yes, that is pretty much the only time.

How about "If you don't stop hitting your sister I'll smack your bottom!" It always stopped me when I was a nipper.

Not really what I was thinking of but not how I deal with my kids. We prefer to remove something, be it a treat or a favourite toy.

I don't think that smacking is the best way to get children to behave.

Edited by Devil2575 on Saturday 26th November 22:42

[Rovinghawk]

Devil2575 said:

Riley Blue said:

Devil2575 said:

Jasandjules said:

Devil2575 said:

Tell me a situation where threats of physical violence would ne appropriate?

Where a child has a knife or other weapon.

Ok. An extreme example but yes, that is pretty much the only time.

How about "If you don't stop hitting your sister I'll smack your bottom!" It always stopped me when I was a nipper.

I don't think that smacking is the best way to get children to behave.

So one example that you agree with that proves you wrong.
Another example that others think is ok but you don't.

An admission of error or softening of position might well be in order.

[Devil2575]

Rovinghawk said:

So one example that you agree with that proves you wrong.
Another example that others think is ok but you don't.

An admission of error or softening of position might well be in order.

Ok, so two extremes. The former is acceptable but hardly the best way to proceed. When faced with a juvenile armed assailant what do the Police do? Threaten to smack them? To kick their head in? I suspect that if it's reached the stage of a knife the best course of action is to back down or try to disarm them, the latter being what I'd do with a primary school child, the former might hsve saved a head teachers life a few years back.

The latter is into the realms of parental discipline. I don't really think it's ok but it's not illegal. If you can't get your kids to behave without threats of violence then you are doing something wrong.

However using suitable restraint on a child who is attacking you or another child or trying to hurt themselves is always accrptable. If children are fighting in the school yard who would not want the teachers to separate them? If you see one child kicking seven bells out of another who would not want it stopped.

So yes, my positon has softened, in terms of being threatened with a weapon or in a family setting. It still isn't the right thing to do though.

However outside of the family and setting aside knife attacks the general principle applies, it is not ok to threaten children with violence and certainly not as a pubishment.

[hora]

Just ask your neighbourhood beat officer to talk to him.

Simple.