Seperation Advice Needed
Discussion
Before I go down this route of a amicable split. I need to speak to someone regarding safe guarding properties I had in my name before marriage or given to me in my name whilst married.
I know that things can get not so amicable when third parties get involved. Is there a form
To get signed or a ten plate letter that is worth getting signed to renounce any future intention to chase any financial gain from this properties.
I'm based in Windsor, Any input for a name / company would be greatly appriecated
BH
I know that things can get not so amicable when third parties get involved. Is there a form
To get signed or a ten plate letter that is worth getting signed to renounce any future intention to chase any financial gain from this properties.
I'm based in Windsor, Any input for a name / company would be greatly appriecated
BH
Any agreements made that are not rubber stamped by the court as part of a financial settlement hearing will be worthless.
Depending how long you've been married.... unless your soon to be ex partner decides to be very kind then you'll lose 1/2 of all of it. Possibly more if there are children involved and they are the major carer, or if you have a much higher income.
Sounds like you need a good solicitor and barrister to sort this one out. Do some research, good solicitors and barristers are hard to find. Bad ones are ten a penny.
Depending how long you've been married.... unless your soon to be ex partner decides to be very kind then you'll lose 1/2 of all of it. Possibly more if there are children involved and they are the major carer, or if you have a much higher income.
Sounds like you need a good solicitor and barrister to sort this one out. Do some research, good solicitors and barristers are hard to find. Bad ones are ten a penny.
TwigtheWonderkid said:
Bomberharris said:
I need to speak to someone regarding safe guarding properties I had in my name before marriage or given to me in my name whilst married.
When you've done that, don't forget to bolt that stable door that the horse has just run out of. You will need to negotiate a "Clean break agreement" or whatever it is called nowadays, but that is usually after the asset split has been agreed by the relevant solicitors and courts.
Presumably the courts will decide if your other half has any claim, and anything you are seen to do to hide assets or "lose" investments that she has knowledge of will not go down to well.
Presumably the courts will decide if your other half has any claim, and anything you are seen to do to hide assets or "lose" investments that she has knowledge of will not go down to well.
As has been said above you should've thought about this before getting married. Sorry to be blunt.
IANAL but my understanding is that pre-marital assets can be excluded from the share calculations, but that it is far from as simple as you saying "but I had this before!". Things like the length of the marriage, children, whether you jointly benefited from the asset (e.g. a house even if you owned it or put in the lion share of the equity), whether the marital assets as they exist are sufficient to provide for the spouse post divorce, your wage/capacity to earn compared to hers, etc will all have an impact.
This is why pre-nups, declarations of trust, etc exist. Too late for that now though.
IANAL but my understanding is that pre-marital assets can be excluded from the share calculations, but that it is far from as simple as you saying "but I had this before!". Things like the length of the marriage, children, whether you jointly benefited from the asset (e.g. a house even if you owned it or put in the lion share of the equity), whether the marital assets as they exist are sufficient to provide for the spouse post divorce, your wage/capacity to earn compared to hers, etc will all have an impact.
This is why pre-nups, declarations of trust, etc exist. Too late for that now though.
Monkeylegend said:
You will need to negotiate a "Clean break agreement" or whatever it is called nowadays, but that is usually after the asset split has been agreed by the relevant solicitors and courts.
The formal term for such an agreement is a clean break Consent Order. If both sides can agree to an amicable settlement the court is unlikely to interfere unless the judge perceives it to be manifestly unjust (i.e. the OP coerced his spouse into something which she should never have agreed to). In those circumstances the judge has the power to either order you to go away, think again, and come back with an amended proposed settlement or impose such terms as he/she thinks fit.Bomberharris said:
Before I go down this route of a amicable split. I need to speak to someone regarding safe guarding properties I had in my name before marriage or given to me in my name whilst married.
If you can get agreement on your keeping the non-marital properties you may well still have to come up with some monetary compensation as the default position on divorce is usually an equal division. The more so the longer you have been married. That isn't to say you won't be able to keep them but as they will be potentially appreciating values over time, expect her to negotiate hard. Those that you may have inherited after getting married will almost certainly end up in the pooled pot.I was in a similar position and it worked for me as I was willing to trade the assets I had inherited pre-marriage for a non 50-50 arrangement on the marital ones as a quid-pro-quo (there being sufficient equity in the joint pot to do so). YMMV.
Before you seek professional advice, you might find these helpful.
http://www.marilynstowe.co.uk/2013/11/15/ask-a-fam...
The case mentioned in the above link - http://www.familylawweek.co.uk/site.aspx?i=ed206
You will be paying for the solicitor's time so the more homework you can do first the better. Many people spunk money up the wall by not getting their ducks in a row before the consultation. Contrary to what some people think a solicitor will be quite pleased to have a client who is well prepared and can get straight to the point without waffle or irrelevant chit chat.
Bear in mind that if you have any dependent child/ren* all bets are off. The first duty of the court is to look after their interests above those of you or your spouse.
* Defined as anyone under 16 years of age, or under 19 years of age if in full-time education. Step-children and adopted children also come under this definition, but not foster children.
Ouch,
Just weighting up the pros and cons, two children 4 - 8 both work just 'not in Love' and tend to be grieving for a life that used to have eg a relationship / flirting etc
Just coexisting with no talking / intimacy (not that I want) it seems that risk of loosing a wife I am loosing a friend. I hear that they don't like to go to a downgrade and just want a friendship.
No betrayal, No third party just no longer in love with person (for a few years now) and at 44 don't know to do suck it up and make sure the kids are balanced / happy and just think thats my lot.
Don't enjoy birthdays / holidays / Xmas as supposed to be 'feeling' something but not and all that event does is highlight it.
Often thought worse to be lonely in a relationship than lonely and single. But such a financial penalty for someone turning into someone you don't fancy
Just weighting up the pros and cons, two children 4 - 8 both work just 'not in Love' and tend to be grieving for a life that used to have eg a relationship / flirting etc
Just coexisting with no talking / intimacy (not that I want) it seems that risk of loosing a wife I am loosing a friend. I hear that they don't like to go to a downgrade and just want a friendship.
No betrayal, No third party just no longer in love with person (for a few years now) and at 44 don't know to do suck it up and make sure the kids are balanced / happy and just think thats my lot.
Don't enjoy birthdays / holidays / Xmas as supposed to be 'feeling' something but not and all that event does is highlight it.
Often thought worse to be lonely in a relationship than lonely and single. But such a financial penalty for someone turning into someone you don't fancy
Bomberharris said:
Ouch,
Just weighting up the pros and cons, two children 4 - 8 both work just 'not in Love' and tend to be grieving for a life that used to have eg a relationship / flirting etc
Just coexisting with no talking / intimacy (not that I want) it seems that risk of loosing a wife I am loosing a friend. I hear that they don't like to go to a downgrade and just want a friendship.
No betrayal, No third party just no longer in love with person (for a few years now) and at 44 don't know to do suck it up and make sure the kids are balanced / happy and just think thats my lot.
Don't enjoy birthdays / holidays / Xmas as supposed to be 'feeling' something but not and all that event does is highlight it.
Often thought worse to be lonely in a relationship than lonely and single. But such a financial penalty for someone turning into someone you don't fancy
If you ever figure it out - do let me know how.Just weighting up the pros and cons, two children 4 - 8 both work just 'not in Love' and tend to be grieving for a life that used to have eg a relationship / flirting etc
Just coexisting with no talking / intimacy (not that I want) it seems that risk of loosing a wife I am loosing a friend. I hear that they don't like to go to a downgrade and just want a friendship.
No betrayal, No third party just no longer in love with person (for a few years now) and at 44 don't know to do suck it up and make sure the kids are balanced / happy and just think thats my lot.
Don't enjoy birthdays / holidays / Xmas as supposed to be 'feeling' something but not and all that event does is highlight it.
Often thought worse to be lonely in a relationship than lonely and single. But such a financial penalty for someone turning into someone you don't fancy
Bomberharris said:
But such a financial penalty for someone turning into someone you don't fancy
This is how life goes for some people . . . but ignore the financial, it's irrelevant - what's important is to either re-kindle your love for your wife or find somebody who you can be in love with - that's important. Imagine spending the rest of your life without love - that's a desperate thought but you'll never spend it without money, you're only 44 and probably earning well enough, that's not going to vanish overnight.If you do get divorced, give your wife a generous settlement, your children will admire and thank you for it later in life and your wife will speak well of you to your children and their friends . . . that's important too for their welfare and self worth. All you had to do to earn it was go to work, she's had to bring up two children - I know which is the harder. People who screw their wives out of a good financial settlement seem to end up more bitter themselves than their wives. I'm not suggesting you hand over everything but that it's generous and fair.
And did your wife change or have you changed too ?
Bomberharris said:
Just coexisting with no talking / intimacy (not that I want) it seems that risk of loosing a wife I am loosing a friend. I hear that they don't like to go to a downgrade and just want a friendship.
In all seriousness, try talking to someone (counsellor, Relate - but on your own, not as a couple) before going further. If you haven't already.For the kids sake, whatever happens, remain friends. My folks divorced, hated each other ever since. won't be in the same room etc etc.. It makes it really tough even 40 years later on the kids having 2 completely different "sides" to the family. Things like weddings are a friggin nightmare.
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