Bereavement - father's car
Discussion
I would advise calling or writing to the DVLA to explain how you have come into the car. I have dealt with this exact situation with my grandmother's car (it wasn't worth anything, but had my grandfather's private plate on it, so I wanted to sort that out).
They were very nice about it, I got a "sorry for your loss" letter and a new V5.
They were very nice about it, I got a "sorry for your loss" letter and a new V5.
SR.
Many condolences.
Death is pretty final and we all get touched with it at some time or another with close family and friends.
Just a +1 on a couple of things.
Take deep breaths. Nothing will go away but you do have time to do most things.
Seriously consider using/not using Solicitors.
I have done probate for both my parents and a close relative, and whilst my Old Man's will wasn't straightforward, it wasn't a problem.
I have experienced what Solicitors made my Mother in Law do after Father in Law died.
She basically did 85% of the work for them. They charged her many thousands of pounds for the privilege.
And all he did was leave everything to her! Nothing complex at all.
FiL was an ex Bank Manager, and as MiL is very old fashioned, "The Bank" had to deal with everything.
Being a Control Freak meant that she wouldn't listen to anyone.
As for the Kia, when the dust settles (maybe the wrong turn of phrase there, but political correctness isn't one of my attributes), think about moving it on if it doesn't suit you. Someone out there will be looking for a bargain so you can sell it on without hopefully losing too much. WBAC may give you a decent deal - it happens occasionally!
Good luck.
You still have lots of memories of your Father. Cherish them.
And you still have the PH brotherhood behind you
Many condolences.
Death is pretty final and we all get touched with it at some time or another with close family and friends.
Just a +1 on a couple of things.
Take deep breaths. Nothing will go away but you do have time to do most things.
Seriously consider using/not using Solicitors.
I have done probate for both my parents and a close relative, and whilst my Old Man's will wasn't straightforward, it wasn't a problem.
I have experienced what Solicitors made my Mother in Law do after Father in Law died.
She basically did 85% of the work for them. They charged her many thousands of pounds for the privilege.
And all he did was leave everything to her! Nothing complex at all.
FiL was an ex Bank Manager, and as MiL is very old fashioned, "The Bank" had to deal with everything.
Being a Control Freak meant that she wouldn't listen to anyone.
As for the Kia, when the dust settles (maybe the wrong turn of phrase there, but political correctness isn't one of my attributes), think about moving it on if it doesn't suit you. Someone out there will be looking for a bargain so you can sell it on without hopefully losing too much. WBAC may give you a decent deal - it happens occasionally!
Good luck.
You still have lots of memories of your Father. Cherish them.
And you still have the PH brotherhood behind you
I thought focusing on the car situation would help me regain some normality in the interim.
As of tonight, I realised I've failed miserably.
This is the man in question, pictured with me after run around the Gower in my Spider.
I really can't get my head around his passing.
Perhaps PH is Mumsnet for men after all.....
As of tonight, I realised I've failed miserably.
This is the man in question, pictured with me after run around the Gower in my Spider.
I really can't get my head around his passing.
Perhaps PH is Mumsnet for men after all.....
Edited by Squadrone Rosso on Tuesday 21st February 23:02
Squadrone Rosso said:
I thought focusing on the car situation would help me regain some normality in the interim.
As of tonight, I realised I've failed miserably.
This is the man in question, pictured with me after run around the Gower in my Spider.
I really can't get my head around his passing.
Perhaps PH is Mumsnet for men after all.....
Think it's normal chap. Sorry for your loss... all the PHERS that put on a brave face and macho macho. It's all an act, I conduct many funerals and so spend lots of time with those who are grieving and although it's awful what you are experiencing is what others go through too. You are not alone and you will see the other side. As of tonight, I realised I've failed miserably.
This is the man in question, pictured with me after run around the Gower in my Spider.
I really can't get my head around his passing.
Perhaps PH is Mumsnet for men after all.....
Edited by Squadrone Rosso on Tuesday 21st February 23:02
Don't do anything hasty regarding the car that you may come to regret. Let your emotions settle. I would get the funeral done first and take it all from there. Give the chap a good send off and a celebration of his life.
All the best.
Great pic. Bought a tear as I just lost my lovely old dad too, just before Xmas, so very much know what you are going through. But we have to reign the sadness in and hold it together and just remember the good times and how absolutely lucky we have been to have them so long.
I am managing it as an executor as its a very simple affair, but have discovered we still need probate for one issue and my heart sinks at the bureaucratic complexity I've discovered. I'll get it done though and hope you get a good price for that car - someone local will surely snap it up for £2k off new?
I am managing it as an executor as its a very simple affair, but have discovered we still need probate for one issue and my heart sinks at the bureaucratic complexity I've discovered. I'll get it done though and hope you get a good price for that car - someone local will surely snap it up for £2k off new?
Ken Figenus said:
Great pic. Bought a tear as I just lost my lovely old dad too, just before Xmas, so very much know what you are going through. But we have to reign the sadness in and hold it together and just remember the good times and how absolutely lucky we have been to have them so long.
I am managing it as an executor as its a very simple affair, but have discovered we still need probate for one issue and my heart sinks at the bureaucratic complexity I've discovered. I'll get it done though and hope you get a good price for that car - someone local will surely snap it up for £2k off new?
Sorry for your loss, chap.I am managing it as an executor as its a very simple affair, but have discovered we still need probate for one issue and my heart sinks at the bureaucratic complexity I've discovered. I'll get it done though and hope you get a good price for that car - someone local will surely snap it up for £2k off new?
You are right to do it yourself. I did it for my old Mum when she passed and avoiding the lawyers saved a ton of money. Yes it's a ballache - but one that can be dealt with - you just have to keep going.
All the best.
Tough times Simon! I feel for you mate and know how difficult these times are. As others have said, take a deep breath, try to slow down and take your time getting things sorted out fella.
I'm still sorting through my mums things now 3 years on, that I boxed up, labelled and stored until I had the desire/strength to go through them again.
Get out more with the popmeister on the beach or the Spider in them Welsh hills and get some fresh air in your lungs!
I'm still sorting through my mums things now 3 years on, that I boxed up, labelled and stored until I had the desire/strength to go through them again.
Get out more with the popmeister on the beach or the Spider in them Welsh hills and get some fresh air in your lungs!
It is a sobering thought for us old 'uns that the last thing we will do on this earth is to hurt those who love us. And those who love us the most, we will hurt the most.
What we don't want is for those we leave behind to be upset. I'm certain that the same thing goes for your father. He'd want you to think of the good times rather than the final moments. I wish I'd understood this when my father died as I felt guilty of laughing at a programme on TV, smiling at a recollection of me and him enjoying some one to one. Yet that is what he would have wanted.
I saw a funeral where the deceased had asked for everyone to come in fancy dress. He didn't want his friends to be sad and felt that someone dressed as the pope sitting next to Mickey Mouse would find it hard not to laugh. Lots of popes, lots of superheros, a gay John Wayne - that image will probably stay with me until I die - and other sundries made the funeral memorable for all the right reasons.
It made me tell my kids that I wanted bright colours at my funeral. I wanted rock music played, something to get the feet tapping. I didn't want tears.
What we don't want is for those we leave behind to be upset. I'm certain that the same thing goes for your father. He'd want you to think of the good times rather than the final moments. I wish I'd understood this when my father died as I felt guilty of laughing at a programme on TV, smiling at a recollection of me and him enjoying some one to one. Yet that is what he would have wanted.
I saw a funeral where the deceased had asked for everyone to come in fancy dress. He didn't want his friends to be sad and felt that someone dressed as the pope sitting next to Mickey Mouse would find it hard not to laugh. Lots of popes, lots of superheros, a gay John Wayne - that image will probably stay with me until I die - and other sundries made the funeral memorable for all the right reasons.
It made me tell my kids that I wanted bright colours at my funeral. I wanted rock music played, something to get the feet tapping. I didn't want tears.
Derek Smith said:
It is a sobering thought for us old 'uns that the last thing we will do on this earth is to hurt those who love us. And those who love us the most, we will hurt the most.
What we don't want is for those we leave behind to be upset. I'm certain that the same thing goes for your father. He'd want you to think of the good times rather than the final moments. I wish I'd understood this when my father died as I felt guilty of laughing at a programme on TV, smiling at a recollection of me and him enjoying some one to one. Yet that is what he would have wanted.
I saw a funeral where the deceased had asked for everyone to come in fancy dress. He didn't want his friends to be sad and felt that someone dressed as the pope sitting next to Mickey Mouse would find it hard not to laugh. Lots of popes, lots of superheros, a gay John Wayne - that image will probably stay with me until I die - and other sundries made the funeral memorable for all the right reasons.
It made me tell my kids that I wanted bright colours at my funeral. I wanted rock music played, something to get the feet tapping. I didn't want tears.
You are so heartwarmingly right Derek. We celebrated my dad's life at the start of January - we didn't mourn his passing - and it went much further than 'no black' at the service. I still think about about the spontaneous applause from everyone at the end - it was a magical moment and he'd have been smiling and proud. What we don't want is for those we leave behind to be upset. I'm certain that the same thing goes for your father. He'd want you to think of the good times rather than the final moments. I wish I'd understood this when my father died as I felt guilty of laughing at a programme on TV, smiling at a recollection of me and him enjoying some one to one. Yet that is what he would have wanted.
I saw a funeral where the deceased had asked for everyone to come in fancy dress. He didn't want his friends to be sad and felt that someone dressed as the pope sitting next to Mickey Mouse would find it hard not to laugh. Lots of popes, lots of superheros, a gay John Wayne - that image will probably stay with me until I die - and other sundries made the funeral memorable for all the right reasons.
It made me tell my kids that I wanted bright colours at my funeral. I wanted rock music played, something to get the feet tapping. I didn't want tears.
Squadrone Rosso said:
Well, his car has gone back to the supplying dealer. A fair price but stil a massive hit.
Another sad day then. He was so proud of it when he collected it
Condolences on the loss of your Dad...Another sad day then. He was so proud of it when he collected it
My Dad died some years ago at the age of 88 and like yours, he was well on Sunday and died on Tuesday of a ruptured abdominal aortic aneurysm. He didn't know what hit him, which was the best for him as he was totally inexperienced in illness. He had a 1962 Triumph Herald 1200 bought new and kept in a garage clean and dry all its life, more or less. That, though, wasn't the problem because a 25 year old Herald, even in excellent nick, wasn't worth buttons. However the registration plate was - 1815 MG. Unfortunately the MoT was up and I knew it needed chassis work to pass, as all old Heralds did. When you've just lost your Dad you just want to deal with things as painlessly as you can don't you, and instead of getting the MoT and transferring the plate to my car (MoT being necessary in those days to make a transfer), I sold it to a bloke who thought his birthday had come. The plate was probably worth twice or three times money I got. C'est la vie...
Squadrone Rosso said:
Well, his car has gone back to the supplying dealer. A fair price but stil a massive hit.
Another sad day then. He was so proud of it when he collected it
I know how you feel SR. I sold my mother's car to a garage for a reasonable price after she passed away. I knew I could probably have got more for it selling privately, but just couldn't face the hassle of dealing with idiots and wanted it gone.Another sad day then. He was so proud of it when he collected it
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