Non-molestation order
Discussion
What a terrible situation 
a friend of mine suffered the same, fine with ex and kids until he had a new relationship and then the children were used as a weapon.
Can't really add anything, but want to wish you good luck with your daughter and hope it turns out positive for the two of you.
a friend of mine suffered the same, fine with ex and kids until he had a new relationship and then the children were used as a weapon. Can't really add anything, but want to wish you good luck with your daughter and hope it turns out positive for the two of you.
paul789 said:
A general point, not specific to this thread at all. I think the scale of this issue - fathers being denied access to their kids / kids having their right of access to their father denied is an abuse scandal which will only dawn on society in a few decades time. When it does, the consensus will be 'how the hell did we let this happen?'. An utter tragedy.
I hope so, for everyone's sake. In my industry I've seen many breakups and the recurring theme is that there is a point or 'something' that tips the mother over the edge into a loss of reasonableness. It goes South, properly South from there for a very long time.Those support groups for women can, on occasion, be a viper's den. I worked with a guy who returned home to find the locks changed and no entry to his own house. That story was an exercise in total 'WTF?' can people put each other through?? Started in one of those groups. Ended in death of Ex.
Divorce lawyers, I'm sure there are good ones, but people need to make sure they have a good one who is working for them. I had a friend (ex) who got pissed and boasted about keeping divorces going longer in order to cream the fees. Utter
!Only advice to OP is: Play the long game, record everything through diary or device, carefully lawyer up and never, ever lose your cool in front of Ex. You may lose contact for a significant period, but by playing the long-game, you have most chances of making up later on.
Thanks for all the well wishes, the court hearing date is in 4 weeks... hopefully we can get this silliness overturned and then I can start down the road of getting something more concrete in place with seeing my daughter...
It's been two weeks and 2 days now since I saw/ heard from her. Not ashamed to say I went into her room last night and cried
It's been two weeks and 2 days now since I saw/ heard from her. Not ashamed to say I went into her room last night and cried
SickFish said:
Thanks for all the well wishes, the court hearing date is in 4 weeks... hopefully we can get this silliness overturned and then I can start down the road of getting something more concrete in place with seeing my daughter...
It's been two weeks and 2 days now since I saw/ heard from her. Not ashamed to say I went into her room last night and cried
So sorry to hear this all too frequent tale. Be optimistic, but don't let yourself be destroyed if the hearing doesn't work out the way you expect. They often go against the father, despite the best of evidence. Again, it's the LONG GAME that needs played here...It's been two weeks and 2 days now since I saw/ heard from her. Not ashamed to say I went into her room last night and cried
You need proper legal advice I am afraid, as if you breach the order you could face serious legal consequences.
Has there been some police involvement with you or your ex.
The person serving the order should be able to shed some light.
I would assume seeing your daughter is tricky unless you have someone who can collect her? I would expect your Ex has taken this out and so doesn't want you around.
Good luck
Has there been some police involvement with you or your ex.
The person serving the order should be able to shed some light.
I would assume seeing your daughter is tricky unless you have someone who can collect her? I would expect your Ex has taken this out and so doesn't want you around.
Good luck
surveyor_101 said:
You need proper legal advice I am afraid, as if you breach the order you could face serious legal consequences.
Has there been some police involvement with you or your ex.
The person serving the order should be able to shed some light.
I would assume seeing your daughter is tricky unless you have someone who can collect her? I would expect your Ex has taken this out and so doesn't want you around.
Good luck
I'm happy with the term of the order - I don't WANT to contact the ex... but I'm going to request the court vary the order to an undertaking.Has there been some police involvement with you or your ex.
The person serving the order should be able to shed some light.
I would assume seeing your daughter is tricky unless you have someone who can collect her? I would expect your Ex has taken this out and so doesn't want you around.
Good luck
My mum can collect her and drop her off, or alternatively we can meet in a public place where I can pick up my daughter. No, no police involvement whatsoever...
Funnily enough, the application is dated 4 days after I dropped my daughter off with my new partner.... hmmm.... like that isn't transparent?!?
Amused2death said:
Make sure you remove yourself as guarantor, if not if ex stops paying rent or damages property etc. you're on the hook for the cost. Given the deterioration in the relationship between you and the ex it's something you need to think seriously about.
If only it were that easy unfortunately I can't until a new tenancy agreement comes into play 
my solicitor is looking into it though SickFish said:
If only it were that easy unfortunately I can't until a new tenancy agreement comes into play my solicitor is looking into it though
Anything in the link below that might help? my solicitor is looking into it though http://www.propertyinvestmentproject.co.uk/blog/ho...
I really hope this works out for you OP, my advice would be VERY wary with CAFCASS if they get involved.
Reading your post it's almost a mirror of my life from 8 yrs ago! Spiteful ex accusing me of all sorts of stuff, all of it lies, which started when I started seeing someone else (who is now my wife). She eventually planted a seed in my daughters head that I beat my (current) wife. Again a complete lie. I remember the day my (current) wife and I were sat in front of a couple of old CAFCASS biddy's where they told my wife she had been beaten by me, and offered her support and a way to leave me (while I was sat there!). She laughed initially, and vehemently denied it, but through despicable CAFCASS meddling it was cited as the reason my daughter didn't want to seem me. Went to contact centre for 6 months, and in-and-out of court for a year, costing me thousands Basically ended up not seeing my daughter again. She's 17 now and I've not seen here since she was 9. It broke my heart then, and still makes me cry sometimes now.... I think about her every day.
Reading your post it's almost a mirror of my life from 8 yrs ago! Spiteful ex accusing me of all sorts of stuff, all of it lies, which started when I started seeing someone else (who is now my wife). She eventually planted a seed in my daughters head that I beat my (current) wife. Again a complete lie. I remember the day my (current) wife and I were sat in front of a couple of old CAFCASS biddy's where they told my wife she had been beaten by me, and offered her support and a way to leave me (while I was sat there!). She laughed initially, and vehemently denied it, but through despicable CAFCASS meddling it was cited as the reason my daughter didn't want to seem me. Went to contact centre for 6 months, and in-and-out of court for a year, costing me thousands Basically ended up not seeing my daughter again. She's 17 now and I've not seen here since she was 9. It broke my heart then, and still makes me cry sometimes now.... I think about her every day.
Amused2death said:
SickFish said:
If only it were that easy unfortunately I can't until a new tenancy agreement comes into play my solicitor is looking into it though
Anything in the link below that might help? my solicitor is looking into it though http://www.propertyinvestmentproject.co.uk/blog/ho...
SickFish said:
It's been two weeks and 2 days now since I saw/ heard from her. Not ashamed to say I went into her room last night and cried
Right in the feels.The PH family is behind you on this one. What an utter deplorable person to use someone's kids against them, because they can't handle that said person has moved on. Fingers crossed for you mate.
SickFish said:
If only it were that easy unfortunately I can't until a new tenancy agreement comes into play my solicitor is looking into it though
Just stop and think about that, its not just her home its your DAUGHTERS home. my solicitor is looking into it though Also it seems like a knee jerk reaction to the order. I would suggest you step back and consider things.
At court the fact that your guarantor for her home doesn't suggest your some mad man. She let you be part of her tenancy!
She can't have her cake and eat it
surveyor_101 said:
SickFish said:
If only it were that easy unfortunately I can't until a new tenancy agreement comes into play my solicitor is looking into it though
Just stop and think about that, its not just her home its your DAUGHTERS home. my solicitor is looking into it though Also it seems like a knee jerk reaction to the order. I would suggest you step back and consider things.
At court the fact that your guarantor for her home doesn't suggest your some mad man. She let you be part of her tenancy!
She can't have her cake and eat it
I know it's my daughters home, that's why I paid 2x months rent when I left (even though I wasn't living there) and agreed to be her guarantor.
surveyor_101 said:
Just stop and think about that, its not just her home its your DAUGHTERS home.
Also it seems like a knee jerk reaction to the order. I would suggest you step back and consider things.
At court the fact that your guarantor for her home doesn't suggest your some mad man. She let you be part of her tenancy!
She can't have her cake and eat it
Agreed that nobody wants the baby getting thrown out with the bathwater (no pun intended) but equally it's a bit rough using the daughter as some kind of 'human shield' to fullfill any request/requirement she makes.Also it seems like a knee jerk reaction to the order. I would suggest you step back and consider things.
At court the fact that your guarantor for her home doesn't suggest your some mad man. She let you be part of her tenancy!
She can't have her cake and eat it
(it's exactly that scenario that happened with my friend; using the kids as a bargaining chip of sorts. Boils my piss to be frank).
I've just Had a positive conversation with my solicitor...
He struggled to conceil his laugh when I told him that the non-mol order statement was written 4 days after the day I dropped my daughter off (with my girlfriend) and muttered "how typical"
He has said that the terms within the order are acceptable to me (and I agree) so we won't fight the order but rather issue an undertaking (forgive me if this isn't the correct phrasing etc.).
He has also said that he is happy to mediate and get an agreement set in stone (well... at least try!) about having my little girl and these will happen concurrently.
On the whole I am a little more positive about things, but also nervous at the same time...
He struggled to conceil his laugh when I told him that the non-mol order statement was written 4 days after the day I dropped my daughter off (with my girlfriend) and muttered "how typical"
He has said that the terms within the order are acceptable to me (and I agree) so we won't fight the order but rather issue an undertaking (forgive me if this isn't the correct phrasing etc.).
He has also said that he is happy to mediate and get an agreement set in stone (well... at least try!) about having my little girl and these will happen concurrently.
On the whole I am a little more positive about things, but also nervous at the same time...
Well I suppose I had better update this, a lot has happened since the OP.
So far I have been to court three times, twice to fight the non-mol order, and the other time was for an initial hearing with regards to access to my daughter.
It has been an emotional strain, not to mention financially; I have had to accept the non-mol order but with terms stated on the order that all allegations have not been found true, as I could not afford to defend the allegations as well as fight for access to my daughter.
I have pooled all of my energy (and resources) into trying to see my daughter...
Some of the allegations are particularly ludicrous, like claiming I and smashed a plate around her face as well as being a heroin addict. I have had a drug test and full doctors report sent to the court, the ex has claimed that this was falsified (all because it obviously didn't say what she wanted it to say). There has been an initial Cafcass report, which is not particularly favourable but they have to er on the side of caution given the allegations...
So far I am over £4000 in the hole, with another court hearing end of this month which I have to another £900+ for that... Fun fun fun...
All whilst the ex is sitting pretty, watching her bank balance increase each month as I pay her an extortionate amount of money, and having all of her legal fees funded by you and I
It has been 142 days since I've seen/ heard from my daughter... I won't lie I have considered not carrying on, but then I sit and think... how could I let my daughter down like that.
And to top it off, my mother has just been diagnosed with terminal cancer and starts chemo next week. After pleading with the exes solicitor and explaining the situation, access to her granddaughter has been denied, my mum is terrified she will not see her granddaughter again... I've even said I will not interfere/ be present!
So far I have been to court three times, twice to fight the non-mol order, and the other time was for an initial hearing with regards to access to my daughter.
It has been an emotional strain, not to mention financially; I have had to accept the non-mol order but with terms stated on the order that all allegations have not been found true, as I could not afford to defend the allegations as well as fight for access to my daughter.
I have pooled all of my energy (and resources) into trying to see my daughter...
Some of the allegations are particularly ludicrous, like claiming I and smashed a plate around her face as well as being a heroin addict. I have had a drug test and full doctors report sent to the court, the ex has claimed that this was falsified (all because it obviously didn't say what she wanted it to say). There has been an initial Cafcass report, which is not particularly favourable but they have to er on the side of caution given the allegations...
So far I am over £4000 in the hole, with another court hearing end of this month which I have to another £900+ for that... Fun fun fun...
All whilst the ex is sitting pretty, watching her bank balance increase each month as I pay her an extortionate amount of money, and having all of her legal fees funded by you and I
It has been 142 days since I've seen/ heard from my daughter... I won't lie I have considered not carrying on, but then I sit and think... how could I let my daughter down like that.
And to top it off, my mother has just been diagnosed with terminal cancer and starts chemo next week. After pleading with the exes solicitor and explaining the situation, access to her granddaughter has been denied, my mum is terrified she will not see her granddaughter again... I've even said I will not interfere/ be present!
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