How to thank a policeman?

[2Btoo]

Cutting a very long story short, my father was let off a significant motoring offence this morning by an officer who stopped him and for which he was very clearly (but not at all intentionally) guilty.

I was in the car with my father and spoke with the officer in question who was gracious in what he did. I think it's fair to say that we both passed the 'Attitude Test' but the outcome was not what we expected.

I'm not going to put any more details on a public forum but my father would very much like to pass on a bottle of decent whisky to the officer in question, the trouble being that we don't know who he was! He said his name but I didn't hear it clearly and we don't have a badge number for him. How can we best thank the officer in question? Are serving police allowed to accept gifts such as this? Should my father go into the local police station with it and what we think was the name of the officer and leave it at the front desk? Is there a police-specific charity that we would do better to make a donation to? What advice would anyone give?

Ideally, if there is an officer within the Southampton area who could PM me then that would be ideal but I full understand why you may not want to make direct contact.

Thanks.

[HantsRat]

I am Southampton area. You won't be able to pass on a bottle of whiskey as we won't accept gifts for obvious reasons but can pass on a message?

Of you can leave a message for officer on this link.. http://www.hampshire.police.uk/internet/do-it-onli...

[R8Steve]

Could passing on such a message potentially cause issues for the officer in question is what i would ask myself in this situation?

[anonymous-user]

best not to think about gifts to individual officers that you feel have done you a favour imo

make a contribution to a charity mentioned here perhaps

http://www.narpo.org/index.php/links/police-charit...

and be grateful

[HantsRat]

R8Steve said:

Could passing on such a message potentially cause issues for the officer in question is what i would ask myself in this situation?

Nothing wrong with a member of the public saying thanks for dealing with a situation in a certain way. I've had a couple of messages over the last year where people have rang up to pass on a thank you message.

[2Btoo]

HantsRat, thanks, that's helpful. The 'No Gifts' rule makes good sense. Is there a charity for the assistance of beleaguered coppers (I jest, but you get the idea) to which a donation would be appreciated instead? Or perhaps something in memory of Keith Palmer (whom we discussed while with the officer in question).

We'd love to leave a message on the link (thanks for providing it) but we don't know who the officer was (collar number, name or station, and we don't have a reference number for obvious reasons) . I suppose we could guess his name and put that on the message.

R8Steve, that's a good question. I'm not sure how it could but thanks for raising it.

[HantsRat]

2Btoo said:

HantsRat, thanks, that's helpful. The 'No Gifts' rule makes good sense. Is there a charity for the assistance of beleaguered coppers (I jest, but you get the idea) to which a donation would be appreciated instead? Or perhaps something in memory of Keith Palmer (whom we discussed while with the officer in question).

We'd love to leave a message on the link (thanks for providing it) but we don't know who the officer was (collar number, name or station, and we don't have a reference number for obvious reasons) . I suppose we could guess his name and put that on the message.

R8Steve, that's a good question. I'm not sure how it could but thanks for raising it.

There is a crowdfunding page currently running to raise money for the family of PC Palmer - Link here: https://www.justgiving.com/crowdfunding/Keith-palm...

[Foliage]

I think it would be enough of a thank you for the officer, if your father was to correct his attitude to driving in the manner the officer suggested during the stop. Do you not think?

[2Btoo]

JPJPJP said:

best not to think about gifts to individual officers that you feel have done you a favour imo

make a contribution to a charity mentioned here perhaps

http://www.narpo.org/index.php/links/police-charit...

and be grateful

Thanks - that looks like a top idea!

We are very grateful. I'll admit to being thoroughly disenchanted with the police in my local area (which isn't Southampton) but it's amazing how much my view has improved over the last 4 hours ....

[2Btoo]

HantsRat said:

There is a crowdfunding page currently running to raise money for the family of PC Palmer - Link here: https://www.justgiving.com/crowdfunding/Keith-palm...

Another good idea - thanks.

[roofer]

Foliage said:

I think it would be enough of a thank you for the officer, if your father was to correct his attitude to driving in the manner the officer suggested during the stop. Do you not think?

Always one.

[R8Steve]

2Btoo said:

R8Steve, that's a good question. I'm not sure how it could but thanks for raising it.

I was more thinking of if the message had to be relayed through a third party.

For example saying to the front reception to leave a message for PC X thanks for letting me off with X offence and the way you handled it. This then gets picked up by Chief inspector X for whatever reason who then asks PC X the meaning of it potentially opening a can of worms.

Unlikely that it would happen granted but you never know.

[Derek Smith]

There's a collection on the Police Federation website which will go directly to Palmer's
widow.

To answer the OP's question, a letter of thanks is about as good as it gets. It will be appreciated.

[Bigends]

Be careful what youre thanking the officer for doing isnt going to get them into trouble

[SpeckledJim]

If the police officer has generously let your dad off for something, when he possibly shouldn't have, he might not appreciate you telling his boss and colleagues what a great guy and all-round big softy he is.

Just a thought.

[WJNB]

SpeckledJim said:

If the police officer has generously let your dad off for something, when he possibly shouldn't have, he might not appreciate you telling his boss and colleagues what a great guy and all-round big softy he is.

Just a thought.

Of all the replies this might be the most sensible, sad in this cynical day & age but realistic.

[itcaptainslow]

SpeckledJim said:

If the police officer has generously let your dad off for something, when he possibly shouldn't have, he might not appreciate you telling his boss and colleagues what a great guy and all-round big softy he is.

Just a thought.

On the flipside-a simple, ambigious message from X thanking him for his professional and diligent manner in dealing with my father will surely be enough for the officer to know who it was (and hopefully be appreciative someone took the time out to deliver the message) without causing any issues?

The detail of the conversation then stays between the parties involved yet the officer gets a thanks and maybe a "Well done chap" from his superior. Winner for everybody.

[aka_kerrly]

Sounds like a late bride

[SpeckledJim]

itcaptainslow said:

SpeckledJim said:

If the police officer has generously let your dad off for something, when he possibly shouldn't have, he might not appreciate you telling his boss and colleagues what a great guy and all-round big softy he is.

Just a thought.

On the flipside-a simple, ambigious message from X thanking him for his professional and diligent manner in dealing with my father will surely be enough for the officer to know who it was (and hopefully be appreciative someone took the time out to deliver the message) without causing any issues?

The detail of the conversation then stays between the parties involved yet the officer gets a thanks and maybe a "Well done chap" from his superior. Winner for everybody.

That would be nice, agreed.

Wandering into a busy reception with a bottle of whisky "For Officer Dibble, for letting my drunk dad go after he ran three red lights in a row!" would be less ideal.

(I'm guessing the 'crime' wasn't as severe as that, but if it was me doing the letting-off, I would rather the event not re-enter my life in circumstances not of my choosing)

[2Btoo]

Whoah - lots more very good answers! Thanks.

Bottle of finest malt is clearly out, a letter of thanks is a nice idea but we're still back to the original issue that we don't know who it was who was so very decent! Who to address the letter to and where to post it to are the unanswered questions - we have what we think is a name (but am not sure) and no shoulder number. (Hantsrat, your original answer hinted that you may be able to pass on thanks but your profile doesn't accept PM's). Any message of thanks would be worded circuitously enough that the chap would know who it was and what he was being thanked for without giving anything away.

I'm not going to put any more details on this forum but it wasn't running three red lights in a row while squiff (although SpeckledJim's message made me smile!)

roofer said:

Foliage said:

I think it would be enough of a thank you for the officer, if your father was to correct his attitude to driving in the manner the officer suggested during the stop. Do you not think?

Always one.

Sadly yes. But we're all old enough to ignore it.

Thanks again everyone for your help.