Classic question when reporting a crime!

[wiggy001]

Walked into my local police station on Saturday to report the fact that some c:censored:nts had decided to deprive my BMW of most of its M-Sport kit :mad:. Explained the situation to the civilian behind the front desk and listened as the first thing he said to me was:

"Have you telephoned a police station to report this?"

Breath taken, jaw picked from floor, sarcasm kicked in:

"Erm... am I not standing in a police station reporting the fact now?"

He didn't bat an eyelid as he passed me a form to fill in.

Anyone care to explain what planet this particular waste of DNA was recruited from?

Anyway, all respect for the BIB who phoned me within a couple of hours to give me a crime ref for the insurance...

[KB_S1]

My GF called police a couple of years back to report a dozen or so cows on the road heading towards a Mway exit, so kind of urgent.
First question from police operator: What kind of cows are they?

Think the GF reply was along lines of: big heavy ones, will cause a mess if hit.

[Hollywood Wheels]

KB_S1 said:

What kind of cows are they?

[kenp]

Sorry, I think that his was a perfectly reasonable question to ask.
You might have phoned in (as many people do) and a file might have been started already. I imagine he just wanted to avoid duplication.

[spicy]

There was a bad fight outside my work (gang). We locked the door and called the police. They asked if we would go outside and see if they were carrying knives! We decided not to do that.

[wiggy001]

kenp said:

Sorry, I think that his was a perfectly reasonable question to ask. You might have phoned in (as many people do) and a file might have been started already. I imagine he just wanted to avoid duplication.

Fair comment but after the words "I'm here to report the theft of some parts from my car", methinks not.

[Dwight VanDriver]

If you had phoned in Wiggy to Crime Desk they would have allocated you a crime number and may have asked you to call in to give statement/extra details whatever.

If they hadn't asked that question then they may have created another Crime Number (shock horror stats on crime up oh mah gawd etc etc.)

Naughty Wiggy....#

dvd

[Kinky]

wiggy001 said:

Walked into my local police station on Saturday to report the fact that some cnts had decided to deprive my BMW of most of its M-Sport kit .

We've had a spate of that around here in Basingstoke.

3 cars were hit in 1 day - all within about a mile of each other.

Including one of our security guards whose car was parked in our secure car park ...... in broad daylight, on a working day afternoon

K

[WildCat]

Kinky said:

wiggy001 said: Walked into my local police station on Saturday to report the fact that some cnts had decided to deprive my BMW of most of its M-Sport kit . We've had a spate of that around here in Basingstoke. 3 cars were hit in 1 day - all within about a mile of each other. Including one of our security guards whose car was parked in our secure car park ...... in broad daylight, on a working day afternoon K

But what about all those CCTV cams in this town? Did the papers not report that you had more cams in this town than in New York? Und they say it cut crime?

[WildCat]

Back to topic... little old lady was walking her dog und then started warning me not to go into the park near the labs as there ist a flasher. She said she had reported this to the police - und was asked to be more precise as to what he was flashing. Her reply "Nothing which I have not seen before - but the park ist not the place to show it!" She's 75 years - bless!

[james_j]

WildCat said:

Kinky said: wiggy001 said: Walked into my local police station on Saturday to report the fact that some cnts had decided to deprive my BMW of most of its M-Sport kit . We've had a spate of that around here in Basingstoke. 3 cars were hit in 1 day - all within about a mile of each other. Including one of our security guards whose car was parked in our secure car park ...... in broad daylight, on a working day afternoon K But what about all those CCTV cams in this town? Did the papers not report that you had more cams in this town than in New York? Und they say it cut crime?

Yes, the UK has 20% of the entire world's population of CCTV cameras and 500,000 in London alone! Big brother? I think so.

[charltm]

KB_S1 said:

First question from police operator: What kind of cows are they?

Amazingly, I have heard this question from the police once before!

In 1988 when our school minibus was en route from Ben Nevis to Scafell Pike during a 24 hour Three Peaks expedition, it ploughed into a cow that was wandering across the A74 (M?). Minbus was a write-off and was towed all the way back to Guildford. The cow was fine!

But when the police first arrived on the scene, one of the first questions they asked was "What kind of cows were they?" Admittedly it was more useful (for ID) in this case, with the cows having wandered off into a field.

But our old friend Martin will never escape his immortal words "they were FRIESIANS, officer!"

[Dwight VanDriver]

Come, come, come now Gentlemen......

You all should know that it is a trait of a Plod to be precise.

Cow?

Are you talking about the derogatory term for a loose human female?

A female elephant?

A female rhinosurus ?

A female seal ?

or just an ordinary mooley cow with four standers uppers, four hanger downers, two sticker outers, ears and swish swash.

There is a difference I'll have you know.

dvd

[silverback mike]

you may laugh, but a certain comms op when asked to set the motorway signs for "fog" asked

"which carriageway"

[Zod]

Kinky said:

wiggy001 said: Walked into my local police station on Saturday to report the fact that some cnts had decided to deprive my BMW of most of its M-Sport kit . We've had a spate of that around here in Basingstoke. 3 cars were hit in 1 day - all within about a mile of each other. Including one of our security guards whose car was parked in our secure car park ...... in broad daylight, on a working day afternoon K

We had two nights of badge thefts in our street last week. Every BMW except mine and an E36 M3 cab (for some unfathomable reason) lost its badges, two X5s, a Z4, a brand new, French-registered 325i and an E36 320Ci, and they tried to get the badges from my neighbour's Porsche, but failed and left a broken penknife blade wedged in his bent bonnet badge.

[kenp]

silverback mike said:

you may laugh, but a certain comms op when asked to set the motorway signs for "fog" asked "which carriageway"

Stupidity can be found everywhere. Many years ago I was in charge of a Movement Control Detachment. The Army decided to try out walky talkies. Units were allocated a number of these gadgets according to the unit's size.
We were a small detachment and received....one.

[streaky]

silverback mike said:

you may laugh, but a certain comms op when asked to set the motorway signs for "fog" asked "which carriageway"

Well, it might have been an advance warning - Streaky

[autismuk]

kenp said:

Sorry, I think that his was a perfectly reasonable question to ask. You might have phoned in (as many people do) and a file might have been started already. I imagine he just wanted to avoid duplication.

.... in which case he should have asked "what motorway exit ?".

There are many cows, even of one breed, even assuming the person knows what sort of cows they are!